NewStats: 3,264,415 , 8,183,658 topics. Date: Wednesday, 11 June 2025 at 12:26 AM 663m68

I got this mail last month and an update two weeks ago. I will not lie. I was not exactly sure how to react to it or whether I can entirely fault the sender. Sometimes when a loved one is involved in an issue, common sense doesn’t become so common, This is Kelvin’s mail.

“Hi Hera. I am in a mess right now o! Please analyze this for me, not as a girl, but as if you were directly in my shoes. I am in my 30s and I am based in Calabar, graduated from Bleep. In April, my younger brother told me he was getting married. Of course I am very happy for him. Although, I never met the girl in person, I saw her picture all the time on his DP of his Blackberry. Now she looked eerily familiar, but I just assumed that it was as a result of seeing her all the time on his BBM. Her name is Evelyn. The wedding was in September. I invited all my old school friends for the wedding. You know, awon big Fagi things. Everything was going smoothly. I noticed my friends snickering and exchanging knowing looks during the reception ceremony. I ignored it for a long time because I was busy. Towards the end, I called aside my best friend to ask him what they were saying, thinking the others had been saying nasty things about the food or the hall or something relating to the ceremony. He was extremely uncomfortable and very reluctant to talk to me. Eventually, he told me that the guys were laughing because my brother married ‘Ever ready’.
Hera, it was then I knew why the girl was so familiar to me. I didn’t know her name, but everyone in our clique knew her then as ‘ever ready’, a very promiscuous club girl from the university days. She drank and smoked weed back then. She was basically the school LovePeddler and had slept with at least three of my friends. Luckily, I never did anything with her. There was a gist in school that she had done so much abortions that she didn’t bother to use any protection with the guys she slept with, because she could not get pregnant. I don’t know how much of that was true, but there was no party organized by students that ‘Ever ready’ and her crew didn’t show up……………and now she was my brother’s wife!! My innocent goody two shoes brother? I was so livid. So incredibly angry. My friend tried to calm me down, not to cause a scene that they are already married and I should not do anything. But What would you do in my shoes?

That evening, my brother and his new wife came to the house to pray with my parents before heading to the hotel they had booked. I called him aside and told him that he has not found a wife. That all this ceremony that he has done was a waste and I would not let him ruin his life with a woman who would probably give him Aids and never have kids. Maybe I didn’t present the situation well for him, but the next thing I knew my baby brother gave me a very heavy blow. I was shocked and angry and I rushed him. That’s how we started exchanging blows. Of course everyone came to separate us asking what happened. My brother stormed out with his wife. As they were leaving, I screamed ‘Ever ready. You think you can hide abi?” The look of shock, panic and terror on her face as she whirled to look at me was deeply satisfying and convinced me that I was not being paranoid. I then had a private discussion with our parents and the other siblings and told them what I knew. Hera, you won’t believe. They were all angry with ME. Telling me I acted immaturely and I shouldn’t have said anything. My sisters were livid with me. In fact, my father told me not to come to church for the thanksgiving the next day till they sort things out.

Long and short, I am now the bad guy, the black sheep and I feel it is really unfair. What kind of brother will I be if I keep quiet? If anything goes wrong and he catches a disease or they are unable to conceive, is it not the same people that would ask me why I kept quiet since. This is my brother, not some random stranger. Why should he be stuck with this kind of girl? I am sure she kept her filthy past away from him. Why is everyone alienating me and NOT her? Please if you think I did wrong, what should I have done differently?

UPDATE- No one is talking to me o, even my mother. I don’t know what is going on in the house. I call my people and they are all cold to me. I know that they haven’t told other family because I still relate with everyone normally. I don’t know what is going on with my brother. The only time I called him, he said I should pretend he does not exist for now. That I ruined his life. When I began to argue that I was not the one that ruined his life and that he should not blame the messenger, he hung up on me. I feel so victimized.

Kelvin

This is a very complicated matter for me. My first response was to reprimand you for saying anything at all, YET I understand why you did. It is your brother after all. That being said, you handled it very badly. It is easy for me to sit here and tell you what you should have done instead. Very easy….but I am trying to put myself in your shoes, trying to understand your emotions at the time, the embarrassment you felt that your friends were discussing your brother’s wife, the anger you felt knowing her past. But he who is without sin…………. Personally, I feel the best way to have handled it is to call the girl aside, tell her you know who she is and hope she has changed her ways. Sure, this could backfire. She now knows you know. She could pretend then to listen to you and them systematically drive a wedge between you and your brother, so that anything you ever say about her would not be believed. (I watch too many Nigerian movies).

Please anyone who has a better advise for this young man should please comment. thank you.

Donxavier:

How is she asking for a collateral being wise or 'securing' it with a contract wise?. You are dealing with a loved one here, not a business entity or a colleague at work whom you have no emotional/romantic feelings for. If he defaults as she suspects he would, it would merely be a pyrrhic victory if she manages to get her money back. The whole process to recover the money is not just worth it for that amount , coupled with the emotional trauma of betrayal and the stress involved.

The real wisdom is to not give the money out in this first place, or give out an amount you are comfortable with all of which still boils down to trust. Everything works on trust, forget all these talk about there is no trust again in this world. Big deals work on trust, the stock markets all work on trusts, Governments relate with each other based on trust. Politics, leadership...I could go on and on and on.

I am not naive at all I know about all the countless stories you talked about. I heard them too. But that's not the way to run your life. I most definitely don't want to be in a relationship where my gf doesn't completely trust me and vice versa.

My brother, business and love should not mix. Let's examine the options you gave. She refuses to give the money or gives him only a bit when he knows she has the whole sum.........it will still boil down to lack of trust but now stinginess and wickedness would be added to the table, cos the bros will still lament that[i] my babe has the money and she is refusing to give me or my babe has the full money but is being tight fisted with it.[/i] There is no action that he won't complain.

A lot of things work with trust, but not complete blind trust. Gone are those days where a man's word is his bond. Complete trust is reserved for God only. For man, trust with one eye open. There is a big difference between being unwilling to trust anyone and being cautious with your dealings with people that are not blood.

I can't believe all the readers suggesting that it is better to lie and come up with some excuse not to give him the money if the girl doesn't trust him. Abi did I miss the memo where lying in a relationship would also lead to loss of trust. Let's face it. I don't even trust myself all of the time because I am human. Why then would I have complete blind trust in a boyfriend, when he is not infallible. The world don change o. We hear too many stories of girls duping their boyfriends and vice versa. If she gives him the money, he dumps hers and takes off and she comes here with her story, na this same Nairalanders go abuse the babe for not being wise.
There is a fat line between a gift and a loan. If you are giving out a huge sum that you clearly want back, secure yourself jo. No need to do 'had I known' later. And as per the cost of suing him to recover your money, your suit better also ask him to cover all legal and court costs incase of a favourable judgment to avoid being shortchanged.

Na wa for Nairaland o! If a guy had given a girl money, the guys here would be calling him a mugu or a maga. The guys here believe that Nigerian girls cannot be trusted to be faithful, hence the need to have multiple girlfriends. Yet they come here to talk about trust. Which yeye trust? The average Nigerian guy has a back-up girlfriend and can dump their current babe at the twinkle of a eye, yet a girl is just expected to trust you people abi? With 400k? What if that's all her savings?? Trust is earned not expected, whether you are in a relationship or not.
Some are saying that it is better to lie that she doesn't have the money. What's the difference? Won't the trust get broken if he finds out she lied about having no money. People find it hard lending relations huge sums cos of the difficulty with recovering, talk less of a boyfriend. Judge Judy's court majorly consists of people trying to recover money loaned to their now ex boyfriend/girlfriend and many times they can't even prove it was a loan.
Never a lender or borrower be o!

When I first saw the title, I was like WTF, but upon OP's subsequent posts, I get the angle she is coming from. How many times has one read the boys of NL post 'would u buy a car first without testing it' as a justification for wanting to sleep with every girl they date before they marry or '[/i]If she is not a virgin when I met her, why would she tell me No?'[/i]. I have seen it more times than I care to. Following the same line of thought where a woman is expected to 'prove' her sexual prowess and home making skills before being considered out of all the seven girlfriends that the man possesses. A woman should be allowed to test drive her car too. Abi African culture says that man provides for the house while the woman does everything else. The OP wishes to test drive the boyfriend to make sure he would make a suitable husband and can provide for her.

Not that I agree that anybody should be responsible for anyone else, but what is good for the goose..........

All those talking about a painless CS. There is NO such thing in any country in the world, advanced or otherwise. It is a major stomach surgery. You realize how many layers the doctor has to cut through to get to the baby. Didn't even know d human stomach had that many layers. Watch an operation on YouTube.There is no amount of painkillers that u would take that u won't feel the pain. I have had one. I wish never to go through the experience again. Atleast after normal delivery, u are well. For CS, to laugh, to cough is hell. I will never understand why anyone opts for elective CS.
However, if ur doctor recommends it, don't hesitate. The life of your child is worth more than a few weeks of discomfort.

Last week, a friend confided in me that her husband was hitting her. I directed her to this page hoping she can get some info/relief or guidance. She just got back to me saying that "abuse" on the page isn't what she had in mind. I didn't get her until I read all the pages. If every victim of abuse is going to be this scrutinized,doubted and judged, there is no way anyone is going to participate. A new thread has to be created. One clean of all tthe side talks, insults and judgmental people and one that won't be on the front page. IMO

You have My Mumu remote control that I never knew existed.

beauty?:
As for me, cooking is my hobby, taste my groundnut soup, pizza, shortbread, egusi, gravy and u wil come back. The only food i always dont get right no matter how i try is jollof rice.

Not only u, my dear. Jollof rice is my achilles heel. I don't know what I am doing wrong. I don watch all the videos on YouTube. I still don't get it right. Other than that, I dey try.

Gabbysky:

Yeah I thought so too, but realise it'll take them eternity to get customers at a new location (which most likely is occupied by now). And this would result to huge losses for them.
I think the best thing is for them to pay a li'l fine, sell-off their goods, clean the place after their sale and relocate to the new location for their next sales. But I hope the LASG, would be benevolent enough to allow them this one.
Thinking about it is just too saddening

U r right. I agree with u

While I sympathise with the ram sellers, I don't understand why they still want to make use of the same location. I thought what they should be asking for is that their rams be released and that they would move to the designated area. Instead, they are asking to use the banned area this year. I don't get that. Sallah is still a week away.

wise_many2k:

Perhaps u didn't understand my post! I never said the American govt were involved in this massacre, all I said and mean is that Americans like acting like cowboys! They do crazy stuffs like entering skools and shooting @ sight, enter malls and shooting, etc! They don't think 2ce about their actions before embarking on them. My problem with the American govt is that they don't see this trend happening naturally amongst americans; they blame such actions on foreign terrorist influence!

I know you didn't say that or even imply it. I was only referring to your not viewing the guys as Americans, but unstable westerners who want to be cowboys. Other than that, I agree with everything you wrote.

@ Wise. I have to disagree with your last sentence. If they are American citizens, they are Americans. Doesn't mean that the American government are involved. If they were, I think that they are way too smart to use anyone that can link back to them in any way or form. With many AL shabab fighters just by the border, what was the need to use Americanized teenagers. More information would emerge as the days go by, so I think the foreign minister should not have spoken just yet. Being American sort of explains all those tweets sha. They do like to tweet.
My major interest is the British lady who has "done this many times before". They know who she is apparently. Why is she not on some terror watch list or under surveillance? If she had done it many times before, she has gotten away alive many times before. Then why didn't she just mingle with the crowd and take off? Why did she decide to die this time around?
Many questions. Very little answers. Let's see how it unfolds.

Two or three Americans and one Briton were among those who attacked a Nairobi shopping mall, Kenya's foreign minister said Monday.

More than 60 people have been killed in the assault on the upscale mall, which has lasted for three days. The foreign minister, Amina Mohamed, said in an interview with PBS' "NewsHour" program that the Americans were 18 to 19 years old, of Somali or Arab origin and lived "in Minnesota and one other place" in the U.S. The attacker from Britain was a woman who has "done this many times before," Mohamed said.

Authorities in Kenya were trying to wrap up their bloody standoff with al-Shabab, a group allied with al-Qaida.

U.S. officials said they were looking into whether any Americans were involved. State Department spokeswoman Jen Psaki said Monday the department had "no definitive evidence of the nationalities or the identities" of the attackers.

White House spokesman Ben Rhodes said U.S. officials have seen "reports coming out of al-Shabab that indicate information along those lines," referring to possible involvement of Americans in the attack.

"But we have to run those to ground, of course," he said. "We do monitor very carefully and have for some time been concerned about efforts by al-Shabab to recruit Americans or U.S. persons to come to Somalia.

"This is an issue that has been tracked very closely by the U.S. government, and it's one that we'll be looking into in the days ahead."

There was no answer at the Kenyan Mission at the United Nations on Monday night.

Mohamed said Kenya needs to work with other governments to fight the increasing terrorist threat and "much more with the U.S and the U.K., because both the victims and the perpetrators came from Kenya, the United Kingdom and the United States. From the information we have, two or three Americans and so far I've heard of one Brit."

She added: "That just goes to underline the global nature of this war that we are fighting

source
http://news.yahoo.com/kenya-official-several-americans-among-attackers-014659993--politics.html

MeN, sometimes, you just sit down and think "Why won't people hate us? Why won't people hate muslims? I don't personally know any muslim that has violent tendencies but every time u read shit like this, u wonder if it is the same religion we are all practising. I AiSha IDrisu Pereira severely condemn these and all other terrorists who kill in the name of Allah and pray that they are condemned to the hottest hottest part of hell or a worse place if it exists. My heart goes out to all the victims. Please don't hate us all.

Very sad and Disappointing to see such a useful and important thread derailed by irrelevant discourse about employers and other frivolities. Very sad indeed.

all parties involved have denied that it is not true. things like this can't stay hidden forever. we will hear more on the matter if it is true. until then, simply a rumour

Stolen from Cracked.com

@Swag queen, it takes a lot to come out on a public forum to talk about abuse. I applaud you for that. I understand your fears. Millions of women go through the same fears you are going through, but you have got to realize that life is too short to be unhappy. You have family that loves and you. You need to take advantage of that. More importantly, your father is on your side and that's all you need. My husband told me recently that my father had told him before the marriage that if he was to beat me, he(my father) would come to Bahrain and break his legs. Now, that was a pleasant surprise because my father is a very quiet guy, so to hear that he threatened my bros like a proper Italian mafia always makes me smile. My point- your father has your back. Utilize it.
Forget your mother. No right thinking mother should ask her daughter to stay and continue to be battered. As for money, you are not getting any now anyways, so your situation wont be any different. Move out Now!

Yield:

The reference about cutting the cord was directed at the husband, not the wife. He's the one who can lessen the dependency his mother has on him and that he has on his mother, not the wife. According to what you wrote earlier, "[the wife] would tell him to do something. He would ask his mother and she would suggest something else and he would do that", so he's tweaking zilch to accommodate her suggestions but solely going along with what his mother says. We're focusing too much on the mother here. What about the wife? People can be lonely in their own marriages too! I'm more concerned about her because she's the lone ranger. The husband's treatment of his wife could very well be making her lonely. Just last month there was a thread in another section from a wife whose husband refuses to acknowledge her in their home and flat out said she feels alone in her own home. He blatantly ignores her, watches tv, sleeps and plays video games when he's home and refuses to communicate with her or tell her what's going on, even after she tried to get him to open up. To make matters worse, her marriage to him helped him get papers into the country, only for him to be treating her like she doesn't exist now that they're married. Returning back to this situation, the wife needs her husband too and she deserves the right to privacy in her own marriage. She should try and become part of the bond? Like I said earlier, it could be that the MIL herself isn't fond of the wife and not receptive to her for the reasons I've already mentioned (I will not repeat myself). There're many unknowns, but my responses are based on the information you've given.

I meant the wife wanting the husband to cut the cord (should have phrased it better). Yea, I completely understand where you are coming from and like you said, there are many unknowns. But how is the mother coming to visit or staying a while depriving her of right to privacy. I can understand a level of resentment if the mother is moving in full time, but if she is coming to stay and bond with her grandchild for a bit, why should the wife be so resistant? Her mother came to stay when she gave birth. The husband could have resisted and insisted that his mother come if he was that much of a mama's boy. I don't see where I wrote that he is treating her badly, other than her belief (which MAY be grossly over exaggerated in her mind. Maybe) that he puts his mother first. No marital situation is perfect I agree that some MILs may be impossible to please. It is a delicate position for a wife to be in any form of competition (real or imagined) with her MIL. Like Judge Judy says "You can have 10 husbands in a lifetime, but you can only have one mother"

Yield:

You are missing the bigger picture, lady. Of course, she can call her son, but calling him everyday is not healthy, like I've said. And it is not normal. She might as well pack her things and come and live in their home since she cannot do without her son. Ironically, your friend's MIL is coming to stay with them for a while too, she just might end up not leaving the house, poor wife. Men, love and respect your mother, always. But once you're married, be a man and have your own life. You have a wife. Communicate with her. When it comes to things pertaining your marriage, don't go running to your mama each time and doing what she says instead, while ignoring your wife's own point of view, like the husband in this case is doing. Mama's boy, pfftt, cut the damn cord already.

Maybe it is just me, but I personally don't care if my MIL calls her son everyday. She may be a widow. She may be lonely now that the kids are out of the house. Since we cant teach her to start using the internet and relieve her boredom and calling her son makes her happy, then more grease to them. In the two years that they were married, she has not moved in with them and coming to visit doesn't mean she wont go back. many MILs have self-respect. Some don't, but many do. Now we cannot assume he is discussing marital affairs with his mother. It could be anything. Imagine the scenario. His mother's advice had saved him from major pitfalls in the past. Chances are high that he would value her opinion. Now I am not advocating that he rubs it in his wife's face all the time. Nothing wrong with him claiming his mother's idea as his own and tweaking it to accommodate his wife's suggestion. It takes a smart man to balance the two relationships and a smarter woman to realize that when there is a very close bond between mother and son, she shouldn't look for a way to lessen it or 'cutting the damn cord already' but a way to become a part of that bond. That's how I see it sha.

Babynwan:

wait until ur beloved husband starts to disregard all ur advice for his mother's. especially wen it concerns ur future or worse ur kids. dnt get mad wen u eventually become a side log n don't have a voice in ur own home. jux say 'his mother gives a better advice than me'

Now you are over exaggerating. Like I wrote, his mother PROBABLY gives better advice than his wife......she is older and may be wiser. Of course, it will take a very foolish man to be rubbing it in his wife's face that he takes his mother's advice all the time. And it is only a foolish man that would ignore a better advice given by a wife to take a not so sound advice by his mother. I would assume the man weighed the options and considered his mother's better. Because, as a wife, no matter what advice you give your hubby, the choice is his ultimately. We don't even know the kind of issues that are arising for him to seek his mother's advice. I am sure that they are not immediate family issues because the wife said he is not a mama's boy. Again, if the wife has a good relationship with her MIL, no way she will ever become a 'side log' in her husband's house.

Yield:

Ah, you have the naija mentality. No one's saying the bond should lesson because the wife's in the picture. I'm not a fan of a husband running to his mother when it comes to making decisions. Nonsense. Some mothers themselves have a hard time letting go of their married sons. Why in the world is she calling him every day? Is he a child that needs to be checked up on every day? You said the wife should make the mother like her. It could be that the MIL herself isn't a fan of the wife, perhaps because he now has another woman in his life and is afraid of losing him to her, which's probably why she calls him often. I've seen a real life story of this, so it surely does happens. There're likely many factors contributing to the situation. I think all three of them have a role to play and have all contributed to the situation one way or another.

The wife should speak with her husband and let him know how she feels, as well as make whatever changes she needs to make. Nonetheless, the husband needs to set boundaries with his mother, lovingly. He is the man here and the one who can ultimately help turn things around. As an adult, he should know that the constant communication with his mother and his mother's interference, especially with regards to his marriage cannot be healthy for him and his independence, nor for his mother's, and definitely not for his marriage. Unless he is a child who cannot reason well, he should know this. He is the one who needs to set boundaries. He shouldn't be doing everything his mother says, discounting his wife's opinions. He should've gotten married to his mother if he knew he didn't need his wife.

Eh......I am a Nigerian. I should have a 'Naija' mentality. I would like to think I have common sense more than a mentality. As a married woman myself, I don't care if my husband's mother calls him everyday. She raised him. She probably misses him. She can call him as often as she likes. Heavens forbid that I raise a child and d wife doesn't like how often I call him. Why should he set boundaries for his mother? I would not want my husband interfering with my relationship with my parents and vice versa. Why would u conclude he doesn't need his wife cos he shares a close bond with his mother? Who knows? The mother probably gives better advice than the the iyawo. Should he ignore it? The mother isn't even holding obvious beef with the wife or causing friction except in d imagination of d wifey.

senbonzakura_kageyoshi:

dedicated cracked fanatic

The best site ever created. My favourite remains 'After hours'

Yield: "Sarah- She hasn’t done anything per se. You know me. You know I no dey take nonsense. It’s just that she is always so cold to me, she is always calling her son everyday. I would tell him to do something. He would ask his mother and she would suggest something else and he would do that. They are too close for my comfort and it is irritating me. Secrets he should share with me first, he would go and tell his mother first…."


It's kinda disrespectful to the wife for the husband to be consulting his mother every time the wife asks him to do something and he ends up doing whatever his mother says instead! Men who cannot let go of mommy's hands are a no-no. As a husband and a grown man, he should be able to make decisions together with his wife. You're now in partnership with your wife and shouldn't be running back to your mama for everything you gotta do. Things like this always pop up while dating someone and if you know you're not happy with it, then maybe you need to re-evaluate where the r/ship is going. He didn't become a mama's boy overnight, most likely he has always been one and changing him won't be easy.

It depends on the relationship he and his mother share. If a mother and son has an exceptional close bond, me as a wife shouldn't expect the bond to lessen because I am in the picture. In fact, I am supposed to take advantage of the bond by making his mother my person. U don see situation where you offended your husband and his mother is saying , 'no, you couldn't have done that. You are not the type' or telling the son that he must have done something to provoke you. That is the type of relationship I am striving for with my MIL no matter how much butt I have to kiss to achieve it.

sihom: Ayee Idris

I can't say if she is or is not suffering from a ''me and my husband'' deficiency, but I sure did enjoy your write up and narrative it was fun to read.

Thank you

LewsTherin: Do I agree that she is suffering from ‘me and my husband’ syndrome? Nope.
I think she is very and totally convinced that ALL mother in-laws are devils out to destroy their sons' marriages. She said her mother in-law is cold to her. What example did she give? For 2 years your MIL has been "cold" to you and you have not seen reason to try warm that relationship up? Then you must really believe the woman to be out to get you.
That is what she thinks. She is of the opinion that all of her husband's family are looking for opportunity to throw wrenches into her marriage - WITH NO REASON TO ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT. She just does.

My 2 cents, she should re-orient her mind or she will destroy her own peace herself

I may have agreed with you if her fear didn't extend to his siblings and his relations. There is a saying that when everyone hates (dislikes) you, you are likely the problem. If she has no reason to believe that her husband's people are out to get her with no apparent reason, then it is likely she wants to keep the husband to herself. However, I am merely speculating. Thanks though. I appreciate your view point.

As I settled in to play on a beautiful sunday morning, I noticed that I had a message on my BB. My first instinct was to ignore it, but then I felt it vibrate (I have been pinged). This is how the conversation went between Sarah (not real name) and I.

Sarah- Aisha are you there?

Me- Yes. How far?

Sarah- I am so angry right now

Me (drops game pad) What happened?

Sarah- My husband is pissing me off bad

Me- (smiles) Kpele. Don’t mind him. Men were born to piss us off. Just take it easy

Sarah- Can he imagine? His mother is coming to visit.

Me- ehhhhh……………okkkkk

Me- Sorry, coming to visit or coming to live with you guys?

Sarah- Coming to visit and stay for a while of course. Come and live with us ke? Is she mad?

Me- Babes. That’s your husband’s mother. The mad bit is not cool. Do you guys have bad blood or something? How long is she coming to stay for?

Sarah- Does it matter how long? Why would she come and stay with us at all?

Me- Because she is his mother?

Sarah- And so? I am his wife!!

Me (now I am starting to lose my patience) Babes, are you comparing yourself to his mother? Stop that o. Your husband’s mother is not someone you want to offend o. You have been married for only two years. I don’t care if she is the devil incarnate. You have to tread softly because she is still his mother.

Sarah- Well, my mother doesn’t come and stay with us. Why should his??

Me- Babes. Your mother came to stay with you when you put to bed.

Sarah- that’s different

Me- (patience exhausted) Babe…..Ok What has your mother in law done? Just tell me the worst thing. You don’t have to go into all the details.

Sarah- She hasn’t done anything per se. You know me. You know I no dey take nonsense. It’s just that she is always so cold to me, she is always calling her son everyday. I would tell him to do something. He would ask his mother and she would suggest something else and he would do that. They are too close for my comfort and it is irritating me. Secrets he should share with me first, he would go and tell his mother first….

Me- So he is a mama boy?

Sarah- not really, but he puts her first before me.

Me- I don’t think so. Like my husband says. Mother and wife has different places in a man’s life and only a stupid man would allow a situation where they would clash. First of all, na she born am, na she raise am. If she hadn’t made him the man he is today, you won’t have married him. Unless she is doing some Patience Ozokwor things, I think you should chill out.

Sarah- Really, you are not helping me. I thought you were a blogger and can give advice

Me- Sorry. No vex. Not a certified advise giver. what exactly do you want to hear? Keep fighting your husband until he says his mother is not coming again Babe, don’t ruin your young marriage na.

Sarah- so what am I supposed to do?

Me- Same thing your husband did when your mother came over. Smile, grind your teeth and be the sweetest that you can be. Be charming and hospitable and all that jazz.

Sarah- You mean do ‘eye service’

Me- EXACTLY

Sarah- why?

Me- BECAUSE NA IM MAMA

Sarah- If I okay his mother coming, then the next thing, his aunty would come. then all his sisters and his brothers……..
Me- Babe, you no get case. We are Nigerians. We value extended family. We may not always like it or them, but the fact remains you gats treat your husband’s people well.

Sarah- so I should turn a fool for them

Me- Who said anything about you turning a fool for anyone? I am not saying you should allow anyone disrespect you in your matrimonial home, but when it comes to his mother, nothing wrong in playing the fool for a bit, as long as she doesn’t abuse it. You have said she is only cold towards you. Who knows? She may change whatever opinions she has about you. You make his mother your biggest fan and you would have a great marriage.

Sarah- I have heard you.
Me- Cool. Can I blog about it?

Sarah- Whatever.

Me- You dey vex for me?

Sarah- Not really

Me- I will take that as a No. So I blog?

Sarah- yeah yeah

Me- Cool. Now relax and be a good daughter in law (continues my Dolph Ziggler versus Randy Orton match. I am yet to figure the ‘how to break a submission hold’ control)
me and my husband
A lot of women like to have their husbands to themselves. They want to become the most important person in their lives. Some even use the bible age of a man leaving his parents and clinging on to his wife to buttress their point. The fact is that he had a life before you, a mother, a father, siblings, relations, friends. He should not have to choose, same way you would hate it if you are made to choose between your family and your husband. I believe that they operate on different levels and shouldn’t clash in any way. Sure your immediate family is paramount, but your extended is equally important especially in a society as ours. You cannot practice ‘Me and my husband” Alienating your husband’s people is one of the greatest mistake any wife can make.

That’s my two cents on the matter. Drop a line. Do you agree that she is suffering from ‘me and my husband’ syndrome or is she being rightly precautious?

Anyone else notice his immaculately clean hair despite all d 'grease'. Where is everyone else or does the kid work those machines alone? Those pics looks too staged. Even Hitler used images of children to press the need for world domination.
I don't understand the message being ed. The opposition that America wants to help (who is also bombing churches and doesn't represent the vast majority of the syrian people) is using children for war purposes but its ok? It shows that Assad should go because the parents of some kids are forcing them to make bombs??

Americans don't even the war. They are tired of wars. Their economy is suffering; they are borrowing from China; military spending has been cut; even little things like White house tours has been cut because of budget restraints and their president is thinking of pouring in billions into another war that not only doesn't concern them, but will aid the Al Qeadah, a group that they have been fighting in Afghanistan for over 10 years. Obama, listen to citizens
As for the Syrian government, I don't know if he used the chemical weapons. It makes no sense for him to use it when he was finally winning the war and Obama making a speech months ago about Syria crossing a 'thin red line' if chemical weapons gets involved. And Suddenly it does.common sense dictates that its the party that is likely to benefit from it that would likely use. The phone call allegedly intercepted (which is ironic because a few months ago, there was an outcry spying on other countries' phone records and complete silence when Israel does it) is supposedly between a syrain official telling another than Assad made a mistake about the chemicals, which could be doctored to high heavens or mis interpreted. I don't know, but we need solid proof before going to war.
Lastly, rebels are not always right. Rebels doesn't always mean that the vast majority of citizens are not happy with the government. Case in point-Mali. Look at the shithole Libya has become with Warlord controlling different areas. See Iraq. Middle East can't work on a democracy. Its not their custom. If their people want to fight wars, let them settle their shit inhouse. We don't need another World War. Let's not allow all those movies come to . I cannot survive in a waste land. There will be no more hair salons.

Stupid stunts like this is what embarrasses the rest of us. Isn't Eygpt predominately muslims? Wetin concern us? Why can't we fix our own problems? *Hits head on the wall over and over again*

No be all private schools get this wahala. At least in my time in 2006, my school (Igbins) was very clear that there was only 70 slots for the school and we were 77. It warned everyone to clear their carryover baggage before the end of the year. Most of them did and was able to go with the first batch. Those that didn't, went with second. No private university has above 150 slots, so I see no reason why Madonna has 500 students. Its so wrong. But then again, this is the same school that lost its medical accreditation when students were in 300 level and many students ended up leaving and coming to ours.(Not like we were any better but atleast our medical students "eventually" graduate)

Surely, there must be bodies with whom you and the other students can band together and lodge a complaint. Write a letter to the NBA to be of assistance. Ask one of the students currently in law school to ask a lecturer on the best route to take. I feel your pain. It is well.