NewStats: 3,263,806 , 8,181,464 topics. Date: Sunday, 08 June 2025 at 01:54 AM 3t385o

Did I miss something on the question Trevor Noah asked Chimamanda? Should a feminist insist on retaining the ‘perks’ of the patriarchy e.g men must hold doors for women? I’m paraphrasing here, but basically that was the question. Should Chimamanda have said “yes, men must open doors”? Wouldn't that be logically fraudulent and inconsistent with the feminist message? What exactly is the argument about? Freaking razzz site.

Tollzara:
Your lame papa and crippled mama.

Oh you're tired of writing childish insults...
Let's go

Your unborn children and their mother who sucked your father's pe.nis.

Tollzara:
See the retãrd making stupid noise. Get out of where?

Get lost, bitch. GTFO of my thread. Stupid thing.

Your mama.

[quote author=Futureberry post=65133805][/quote]

Dude or dudette, I'm too confident in myself to be worried about the 'other'.

Sagamite:




It would definitely weed me off. This is how I respond to girls like you that tell me they are feminist while I am trying to impregnate them.

Very good! Let everybody know where they stand. The moment I meet a Nigerian man, I shout it well well - FEMINIST ni mi. I have chuku chuku down there. No man goes there and comes out alive.

Tohzara:
The emboldened is further verification of my claim that you're a brainless idiot. I'm very sure the most stupid person knows that opening a thread and asking for people's opinions doesn't mean I do not already have my answers or position on the matter.

I think you need to go back and take your pills to free yourself from the menstrual cramps bothering you. You're being a retãrd and a nuisance at the same time.

GTFO of this "useless" thread, moronic fucktãrd.

More Childish comebacks. Tehehe!
None of you have the wherewithal to discuss this subject. Kill yaself if it's too hard to swallow!
See im dirty mouth like 'chivalry'. Lmao Gerrarrahere!

Tohzara:
This has got to be the dumbest post I've read in a while. Let me show you.

Seriously? Do you know how dumb you sound now? So because it's a Nigerian forum, everything must be discussed as applicable to the Nigerian context? When did you make this buffoonish rule? So even if it's Ethopians, Indians, Europeans, Ghanians, South Africans or Americans that are discussing it, it must be as applicable to the Nigerian context? This is a really fücked up way of being stupid.

Absolute rubbish! Now let me show you where you shoot yourself in the foot and disgrace your lineage...

What exactly is nationalism in any Nigerian language? What exactly is communism in any Nigerian language? What exactly is feminism in any Nigerian language? You don't have any sense.

I do not know about "codes and conducts". All I do know is that chivalry as expected/applied to the male folk has got to do with being courteous and protective towards women, treating them gently and with care. That's the main idea. There are no "codes and conducts" as such, as they would be subjective.

Bulls eye. None of you have the wherewithal to discuss the subject and have nothing useful and meaningful to take on the subject. Live with it! Codes and conduct of chivalry are not 'subjective'. They are organized, well laid out rules that 'polite' society lived by in the West. They are not random rules plucked out of ya asses to insinuate 'subjectivity'. Get out of here with your rubbish.

Enough of your bullshiit. Did the mediaval knights who claimed to be beacons of chivalry cook for their women? Weren't they sexist motherfucking asholes too? Being protective of women and considering them creatures to be handled courteously is itself founded upon sexism, and subscribing to gender roles----considering women to be meant only for the kitchen---isn't incompatible with chivalry. Sexist men can be chivalrous. You just keep yarning crap.

That reply was a soft-landing response, since you decided to include your 'fragile emotions' into the discussion thereby making a topic which shouldn't have been about your butterfly self about yourself - and that I should not 'stereotype' you. You had to be reminded that one man ranting that he doesn't fit into a stereotype can never be statistically significant when majority fit that stereotype in Nigeria. So once again get out of here.

Bullcrap. Anything can be discussed on this forum. This statement is absolutely senseless and morönic.

Anything can be discussed by people who are WELL VERSED on the subject. Not interested in your KINDERGARTEN analysis and ZERO experiences.

What is the entire point of this thread? Isn't it to discuss whether demanding for chivalry from the male folk as a matter of obligation without expecting any from the women is sexist and incompatible with feminism? Isn't that what you just confirmed right here? You answered "NO", and still senselessly believe yourself to be arguing against the point of my thread by calling it "nonsense". Olodo.

Olodo rabata. You have just disgraced yourself that you don't know ANYTHING about codes and conduct. I have been PROVEN right. End of discussion! Also, what exactly is there to discuss, if feminism = gender equality, does it take astronomical science to know that chivalry should not be gender specific. I guess, unless you are an imbe.cile it has to be spelt out to you in lay language.

Stupid, irrelevant topics like this on the Nigerian blogosphere are a total distraction to the REAL, CRIMINAL, DEADLY issues that plague the Nigerian female such as punitive widowhood rites, sexual crimes and child marriages. It is only for badly behaved men to have penile erections over. Look at how you 'came' all over the thread and started throwing 'childish' insults because I alerted you to your inexperience to the subject. Get out of here!

Dead, useless thread.

Tohzara:
This part of your contribution is absolutely unnecessary and completely irrelevant to this discussion.

1) You do not know my race or nationality. You merely assumed. That wasn't really wise.

Whether you are Nigerian or an Iraqi, THIS IS A NIGERIAN BLOG. And things will be argued as applicable to the Nigerian context. What exactly is chivalry in any Nigerian language? And how is it 'practiced'? What are the codes and conducts of Nigerian male 'chivalrous' acts to women?

2) It makes zero sense to make generalizations such as this about Nigerian men. I am a "Nigerian man", and I'm 1 billion percent sure I do not fit into any of your ridiculous stereotypes.

Stereotype you? Lmao! It is NOT a 'generalization' when majority can't fathom that something as fickle as cooking is not a genetic disposition to only females. Our culture has never enforced 'chivalry'. That is Nigeria's MORES AND NORM. One Nigerian male with the semblance of 'Jesus Christ' out of 90 million can NEVER be statistically significant.

3) Whether this issue is being discussed by Nigerians, the alleged lack of chivalry by Nigerian men notwithstanding, is irrelevant and meaningless, as I asked a question about chivalry and feminism as universally defined, and no where in my OP did I demand or require a consideration in the Nigerian context.

You typed all that for nothing, as you made no point.

It is VERY relevant to the discussion. Am I Western? No. Am I on a Western board? No. Is this a Nigerian website? Yes!

WHAT How is feminism about courtesy and politeness? I thought feminism is about equal rights regardless of gender? Where did you get your idea from? Feminism doesn't mandate courtesy and politeness, and has no such values as its core doctrine or primary focus, so there's nothing simple or clear about this. A sexist male can show courtesy to a woman he considers a weaker vessel, and that in no way makes him a feminist.

You had better NOT twist my words. The FEMINIST position to your nonsense thread is to provide such courtesies or 'chivalry' to both sexes or don't do it at all. To provide 'ordinary' courtesies should NEVER be gender specific.

I find it absolutely absurd Nigerians talking about 'chivalry'. Does Chivalry exist in the Nigerian context? Are Nigerian men 'chivalrous' to Nigerian women? The origins of this word which has medieval knightly symbolism has absolutely nothing to do with Africans. Modern western applications of the word like 'holding the car door for women', "offering" your jackets when it's "cold", has absolutely nothing to do with us.

Nigerian men were/are NEVER chivalrous. Nigerian women have never benefited from this 'chivalry' culture. Where we come from women SERVE men and not the other way round. This topic is dead on arrival and not applicable in our context. It should be 'debated' on a Western board. They are the ones that know what they mean by their 'chivalry'.

However, The FEMINIST language is to give courtesy to everybody, i.e to show politeness in one's attitude and behavior toward others. Holding the doors for people (no gender specificity) is polite. That is the FEMINIST view. Very simple and clear.

And Sagamite, the word FEMINIST is a very good tool to weed off badly behaved Nigerian males from ones life. Very, very effective and less stressful. As long as evil customs engineered by the patriarchy exists and parades itself as culture, religion and tradition, feminism MUST co-exist with it. Yes, it's been a long while, just ed this site exists, thought Seun would have killed this nuisance site eons ago. I am back to torment your soul.

If you educate a man you educate an individual, but if you educate a woman you educate a family (nation).

No be me talk am, na one man in the 19th century talk am.

cococandy:
They are always the first to carry black men matter for head like street hawkers. Defending them and marching for them when the media is agog with racist issues affecting black men. They don't even speak up against racism on black women as much as they do when it affects black men even though statistics show its happens equally to both genders and black women even have it worse because they have to endure that in addition to sexism.

Yet this group of people reward them with the most disrespect obtainable in the whole wide world. You'd think the black man would stand up for his black woman as much as she does for him. Instead what they do is try as much as possible to put her down at any given time. Of course I know I'm generalizing and all black men don't do that but many do. And it's sickening.

What I even find even more disgusting are women who are snug with dudes that treat them like such trash. Once I notice that's how a guy is, he becomes like trash to me. I've enough self esteem to not be chums with fellows who have nothing but disgust for their women and don't hide it.
They see the white men who have dumped their archaic culture of female oppression (well almost) as emasculated or whipped. Yet they are standing in line to worship the same white women. Smh.

Absolutely. I feel like giving uppercuts to the black women ing in this nonsense black lives matter mantra which should in truth actually be 'black men's life matter'. And women partake in this crap for sons that HATE their freaking guts?.?.?.?.? You've got to be kidding me!
The biggest racism a black woman receives day in day out comes from BLACK MEN!
More than half of black girls have been sexually assaulted before the age of 18. Which one requires urgency from me? Some 'police brutality over a black man we have to pray he is not a thug in order to find an ounce of credibility in his story' or damning statistic about girls getting raped by BLACK MEN before the age of 18?' Bloody hell!!!
Black women wake up!!!!

TV01:
Stilly how far? I'm posting here because of you, I'd typically give this one a miss,but had to query the below;


Please ma, where is the promised land they are "exodusing" to?


TV

I'm pretty fine!!!
They are 'exodusing' to the land of options and FOREIGN opportunities.
African American women have been sold the disastrous ideology of black men only. Not any more! The black community is toxic. Over 60% of black women have been sexually assaulted before they reach 18. Any sensible black woman would have as little as possible association with the toxic black community. http://sojournersport.com/last-call-to-evacuate-black-residential-areas-before-the-peace-walls-go-up/
Numerous blogs have been set up to aid in the campaign of killing this damning 'black men' ideology. Black female consciousness INDEPENDENT of the toxic black community is being encouraged. The efforts so far have not been in vain. There is now a proliferation of non-black men and black women relationships. That diehard black man only mentality must die! I reject it!!!!

Adaeze003:
I've seen and heard of white women loving black men and white men loving black women even in the UK.

One thing I've noticed? While others simply love and get loved, only the black man sees it as an Olympic gold medal to date outside his race.

Buhahaha!!! It's like an attempt to seek validation from black women. If I were a white woman, I will be extremely wary why a black man is dating me. Black women are black men's real competition. It is not white, Asian or any other fellow men they compete with, it is black women lmao.

Subom1:
Honestly i don't get why people are having their pants twisted. People are entitled to their opinions and preferences so if he likes white women and think they are better than black women then so be it, it's his life and choice at the end of the day . However i have noticed that a lot of black men always want to put black women down. Only race in the world who puts their women down and mocks them. Even black girls who date white men don't go around bashing black men. Black women have suffered lol!

But i can't help but laugh at this. Shymexx where you not the same guy who had a hissy fit on my thread and i was not even rude about it

Honestly you find good and bad people in every race. There are some wonderful white women out there and wish you all the best with that.

Buhahaha. Was it a thread on you preferring white men? Lol. Please say Yes, cos I know He's always extra petty about such issues.

At the end of it all I blame African American women for overhyping the black man and being the mouthpiece for black women worldwide. Growing up and till now I never saw black men on any damn pedestal. I could date any race I wanted. Dating pattern was/is not exclusive to black men. What a boring life to live to be exclusive to black men. Ewwwww! African American women's eyes are beginning to clear now. A lot of them are on mass exodus from black men and the black community in total, lmao.

fellis:


@bold,


hohoho

I see the shade you are throwing. I see it clearly.

Hohoho

It was not my intention to be honest.
But who the cap fits, let 'em wear it.
Young black girls need to be aware of this toxic elements in their society.
The more militant a black man is on black issues, the more he is in dire need of white pu.ssy.
They also HATE seeing black women with white men. very crazy people.
The black power thing is just a smokescreen for deeper issues.
The black community is very toxic. My advice to any girl is to run away from it.

Shymmex FINALLY BEING HIMSELF! Took a long time coming. But he can finally be true to himself.
Never fell for the UNNECESSARY allegiance to the 'black queens' semblance you've been deceiving yourself with since you ed this board. Lmao! I found it very irritating and it came across to me as a cover for deeper issues.
Black women CANNOT and WILL NOT be controlled! I can see that you have finally made peaceeeee with it. Good boy.

This topic isn't new, there are a thousand and one of it on the internet and NL. Black women have heard worse and we did not die! Is this thread a means to abate your conscience or a farewell message to your juvenile 'black queens' who fell for the charade? There was absolutely no need for that! Nobody will judge you for moving on to the 'snow bunnies'. Lmao!!!!


Kanwulia where you dey? I don laugh tire.

cococandy:
You my dear have the award for the most irritating thread starter ever. Maybe only second to Tpia. (Where's she BTW)

All your threads are subtle attempts to mock your fellow women. And I find it annoying. Always judgmental and hoity toity. Prescribing solutions to problems that no one begged you to help solve. Did the single sisters complain to you? Why always on their case? You can't go a while without coming up with posts about single women and why they aren't married.

Silly.

Shes's a misogynist. A foot soldier for all the bad things associated with patriarchy.
I seriously hope she has no post in the church especially the department for young girls.
We all need to be watchful on who is teaching our young girls in church. I don put am for my agenda already.
I will so screen my girls after every church service. We must catch every strange or fraudulent view being propagated by the church.

bukatyne:


First, welcome back from your hiatus

The author is a upper mid-class white woman

I agree the economy and educational system doesn't favor marrying 'early' as advocated by the author and the husband extremely matters in this parts.

@ Topic: I am a staunch er of marriage before career... Career in this context is working to become a top shot in her industry. I don't see it happening over a long period of time to hold down marriage for.

It is not necessarily an upbringing thing. My mom esp. wanted me to work longer before marriage; I wondered why the wait

Thank you dear.
Nevertheless, if I lived in Nigeria, I would have considered it a much greater risk marrying early without a career or source of income or finishing school.
Feminists have laid down the ground work for women to be protected in the West. They can afford to have this discussion.
I consider early marriage to a Nigerian male especially living in Nigeria very high risk. He is protected by society to do as he pleases. Even if he gets punishment for a wrong doing, it is a pat on his back compared to the female. The position of the female in that marriage is determined by the whims of the man. A self sufficient female can afford to leave when he starts manifesting.
The marriage institution in Nigeria is not protected. Factors like brideprice in some ethnic groups already sets the tone for the position of the female in the marriage.
Before talking about early marriage, are Nigerian women protected in marriage per se? I think our discussion should be about institutionalizing policies to protect the female in marriage first. This would give her the opportunity to have an array of choices like her Western counterparts on whether she wants to marry early or not.

bukatyne:
Tried breaking it down for easier read....

But it is still damn long

So my opinions on this subject matter:

1. I believe in young love/ dating as few people as possible/ chastity before marriage,

2. I have never seen marriage as a hindrance to career/ chopping life (well, I see clubbing/drinking/partying/casual sex/ flirting/friendzoning guys etc. as chopping life so..)

3. I believe with an understanding spouse, you can achieve whatever you will
..
4. I believe you cannot have it all at same time; there is season for everything Ecc. 3:1

So let's go.

I am sure this thread will be very interesting

I don't even believe in dating different people because 'I'm young and wanna have fun in my teens or 20s.' It is a WASTE of my time. I didn't do it. I just caught one guy in my early 20s and kept him on lock down ever since. Lmao.

You don't even need all those clubbing nonsense or having guy friends to enjoy life fully. I consider them unnecessary baggage. Men friends bore the heck out of me. I dunno how women do it.

In the West, there are institutionalized policies to protect women in and outside marriage, in and outside their careers. Feminists have done the ground work to enable women be spoilt for choices. Moreover this sounds like White women experiences not the black woman experience in the West which is often different. Not only that by 23, these women are done with school.

I really can't say the same for Nigerian women or men born in the 80's or 90's. Our parents enjoyed such privileges though before Nigeria went to the dust. I didn't have such luxury. Before the advent of private universities, you almost don't get a mere bearing of your life until you are racing for your 30's because of university strikes and economic hardship. The economy most of the time will determine whether you marry early or not and the Nigerian man a woman marries is a strong factor if that career will even take off after marriage. Most people who take off school or career path find it hard to go back could be for personal reasons or financial reasons. It is good for the husband to be well to do before going on this path. Not only well to do but is a champion of your dreams. Before entering this marriage, I take God beg you, sign an agreement with witnesses.

This marriage before/after career decision is often shaped by your upbringing. In my home, it wasn't spoken in lay , but we the children all knew we had to finish school, have a career before marriage. When I got done with my masters, my parents congratulated me and said 'after this I hope you'll go for a PhD' lmao.

greatgod2012:
Smh.......


And it's their type that will be shouting gender equality up and down.

I disagree. It's actually the anti-gender equality female that feels she's entitled to being pampered financially by the male.
Patriarchy requires the male to provide. This female here is only following and abiding by the rules.

3. Why do this category of women (Mrs My Father's Name) love to eat their cake and have it?

Huh? I'm not privy to feminists women struggling for a Mrs. tag. I'm much privy to them rejecting that tag.
These women go by the title Ms. which is a neutral alternative to Miss or Mrs. This accords them ambiguity to marital status. It's like the Mr. title of men where there's no distinction given to married or single men. You can't tell if a man is married or not, neither can you tell if a woman is married with a Ms. title.

Nigerian parties are typically disorganized. We still need to learn a thing or two about 'following an agenda'. Nevertheless, Yoruba parties ARE THE BEST in Nigeria, everyone knows this. OP is just being silly. Igbo parties? I have been to one too many out of family duties. Now you will have to bind me hand and foot to go there. It is a money making venture, not a party. A party is where you have fun, eat, dance and be entertained. But my igbo people, they can ask you to pay for water to drink. What is a party if you can't get the food and music right? Tufiakwa. Bloody hell. I always say that they should put an embargo on Igbo 'caterers' making Jollof rice or fried rice. Most of the time, it sucks. I cannot stand it. They should stick to their traditional meals. That is the only meal they can get right. I always leave Igbo parties very very angry.

AjaanaOka:
Stillfire, Onwurah Uzoku was your great-grandfather, right? Remarkable man. I learnt that when the British wanted to make him paramount chief of the whole town, he was horrified and immediately declined saying that anyone who dared take the title of 'king' of the whole town would be struck dead by the gods...or other words to that effect.

But no one ever said no to the British, and in the end he consented to share power with a number of other warrant chiefs appointed one for each of the seven quarters of the town.

Yes he was.

ChinenyeN:
Stillfire, your great grandfather sounds like someone who was well-versed in the customs of his people. It was refreshing reading your post.
Often times I make a joke to my parents by calling Igboland the "Land of a Thousand Eze", and they understand the sarcasm and irony in that statement. I believe it is high time Igbo people do away with these Eze.
In Ngwaland, every community re its first Eze, most of which are still alive today. As someone who has been versed in my people's transitions and histories, I always cringe within myself each time an Eze or a "His Royal Highness" is mentioned. These Eze get particularly offended when they aren't addressed with "the respect they deserve", though their "office" holds no legitimate, cultural authority. I just wish that Igbo people would finally realize that it is time to do away with this.

Lol, can you imagine?
I think one of the problems is that we are heavily reliant on folklore or word of mouth to propagate our customs. We are in a modern world now. We need like a constitution to write these things down. When there is no written law, anyone can wake up any day and do whatever they like. Village/town meetings don't seem to address these issues. Two years ago or so, my dad dragged us all to the Awka Union meeting, and I was disappointed. Although they were heavily involved in philanthropic ventures, I was expecting to see a thorough discussion of the customs, especially this kingship thing and gender relations (a lot of protections females had have been discarded) and how we can fit them in this modern world. It was more of a get together party. When I read old books on the Igbo, there is this consistent need in the Igbo to participate in discourse of their customs and amend where necessary to fit into an era.

ChinenyeN:
Academics1, your handle is "academics". Might as well put that to use and learn about Igbo traditional systems of governance.

Most "traditional rulers" in the southeast are not even actual "traditional rulers", as such an office did not exist in most communities. These "traditional rulers" are remnants of the warrant chief system which southeastern communities (I mean geographic southeast and not that political bs) have tried to legitimize in some way.

Despite efforts to legitimize the former warrant chief system, these "traditional rulers" remain mostly ignored. Actual traditional governance (the Ohna system in most communities) is done by councils of ofo holders (Ojiofo) and representative congress (amaala). The Ojiofo are the actual leaders. "Traditional rulers" are figureheads.

My great grandfather was one of the Igbo 'royal' personalities recognized by Queen Victoria during colonial rule and introduced this kingship thing. The British often reiterates how they did not 'impose' royal families on the Igbo, but that these royal families already existed. I believe the better word here should be 'prominent' not royal...prominent or accomplished families most likely Ozo titled men. Anyway, on my great grandfather's death bed, he warned all his children not to continue the tradition of kingship, that it was not the Igbo way. He told them not to fight for it, and according to my dad there are some curses associated with his kin fighting for it (my dad may have just exaggerated the curse part for emphasis). That is why in Awka today, it is not my family name that comes up under this pseudo-monarchy.

I Radoillo putting up a thread on the history of Awka, and he said concerning the traditional Political Structure of Modern Awka:

The Current monarch of the town, Obi Gibson Nwosu, the Eze Ụzụ II of Awka is only the third monarch in the town’s history – after Ichie Obuora Nnebe, the Ichie of Awka (he rejected the title of ‘Eze’ and chose ‘Ichie’ instead), and Obi Alfred Chikwukadibie Ndigwe, the Eze Ụzụ I. Before the adoption of the monarchy in the twentieth Century, Awka was governed by elders and ọzọ titled men.

It's embarrassing how these personalities want to legitimize this monarchy thing. I hope these people understand, they are just representatives of the people at social functions and mediators. That's all! I hope they are not there giving orders. I only have respect for Ichie Obuora Nnebe who rejected the title of Eze and chose Ichie instead. I think at the end of it all, we have ourselves to blame. Charlatans and illiterates are the ones mostly interested in traditional politics. Most of us are not even at home. Also Nollywood has helped in propagating this lie that Igboland was a Monarchical government.

TV01:


Stillfire' take on jail times or fines merely added nuance. Here I felt that while they should not be the go-to response, they should not necessarily be ruled out. They could actually be counter-productive, as healing and restoration should be the best outcome.

Where there is no healing, the fine would almost certainly come in the nature of the settlement, although this would be rendered somewhat useless if there was "no-fault" divorce.


TV

Even during the process of healing and restitution, 'Compensation (monetary-wise)' can make the heart more forgiving and malleable.
If the cheater (which I predict would be more likely Nigerian men, hahaha ) claims to have 'seen God' and repented and wants to continue the marriage, the cheated spouse should be compensated. This would be regulated by a third party preferably a governmental body to ensure the processes run smoothly.

crackhaus:

Soon and very soon bro, you will get it.

All I have said is, "I believe in marriage and I believe that it is good, but don't create laws that will coerce/force me into remaining in one that no longer has a happy future". - I am not infallible, you are not infallible, TV01 is not infallible, Stillfire is not infallible... who died and made it a rule that all of us will love and stay true to the same person for the rest of our lives?

Absolutely, I'm not infallible, that is why my submissions are not just exclusive to other people, but includes myself.

crackhaus:

The fickleness of human beings with respect to who they choose to love and have sex with cannot be policed and judged by man-made laws since no one is physically hurt, isn't this the American way?

Physically hurt? As I said, heartbreak raises the blood pressure and stress levels. This encomes the term physically hurt.

[b]A marriage where there is 'cheating and adultery' is already on its way to being dissolved should it be so desired, which is why divorce laws take over thence to make sure no one is left disenfranchised coming out of it. [/b]

Many Nigerian married couples would disagree.

Only God has sole authority in penalizing an adulterer for breaking his/her vows.
Civil law and government cannot stop people from committing adultery entirely any more than it can stop people from breathing oxygen.

The government should be least bit interested in 'stopping' adultery, that is for religious houses to do. The government would be/is focused on making money in regards to Nigeria being currently broke. It would definitely make money from the 'adultery' industry. lmao!

What it can do is tell an adulterer "well now that you've done it, you or your spouse may get a divorce and we will see to it that the innocent party gets treated fairly".

That is not enough. Hence the fines to discourage people from entering the institution and make money off idiots who went into it on an emotional high.

crackhaus:

This is because the person who was cheated on is not disenfranchised until the marriage is dissolved and that person becomes unable to move on smoothly (financially) with his/her life - this is what the law seeks to protect.

While in the marriage however, you can't say that because someone was cheated on, then he/she has been disenfranchised.
No one has died from disappointment and heartbreak...no 'normal person' at least.

I am not arguing within the confines of today's laws. I am introducing a new bill to sanitize the marriage institution, that's all.
No one has died, but heartbreak raises stress levels and can give you high blood pressure.
No one has died, but the crime against a husband is the chief crime the majority of women in prisons committed.
No one has died, but this thread was spurred on by death and violence in marriage.
No one has died, but 30% of women who are murdered are killed by their spouses.
Don't you think it's time we put certain blocks like my suggested stipulated fines to prevent abnormal people from entering into the institution?

raumdeuter:
Stillfire

I like/love you yesterday, I dont like or love you today. Why should I be punished for my feelings?

Would it be better to suppress my feelings and just continue in it even if I am sad everyday?

I think the problem here is that we have different definition of what marriage is.
Civilizations were built on marriage. Kingdoms and empires were/are strengthened through marriage. Marriage is greater than the fickleness we have ascribed to it.
Butterflies in your stomach under the definition of hollywood love (not bliblical love) in marriage is just an added bonus to the institution.
I am not getting married because of butterflies in my belly, but to build my empire and raise healthy, viable, well adjusted offspring under the auspices of mother and father.
Fortunately and unfortunately the world is now liberal to encourage 'cohabitation' and other forms of queer relationships.
My question now Must people with a tendency to be capricious and fickle get married?
If one is that fickle concerning their emotions, shouldn't one save himself/herself by not getting married at all?
See there will be the option of divorce, but you will be fined for it.
If you go against the tenets of what marriage predicate, you should be sanctioned and fined for it.
Or don't get married.

crackhaus:

Ohhh I see, so it's only people that want to continue the marriage that will be jailed or made to pay fines? Lol..

This is getting funnier by the minute, and I hope you're not making all this up..

So I cheat on my wife and then I'm told to either divorce or continue with the marriage on the that I will go to jail or pay a fine,... why the hell would anyone even want to continue that marriage?

It will reduce the tendency of people making a damn mockery of the marriage institution.
A marriage where there is cheating, adultery, domestic violence is not a marriage, but a potential for unleashing dysfunction into the society. Please the people should either pay a fine, divorce or preferable do not get married.
Only genuine people should have the honor of being married. It will bring dignity to the word marriage in the long run.

I mean people can cohabit, divorce, and not get married at all. These are all the other options. What is the problem?

In fact let me add again, if you want to get married a second time, you must pay a damn fine. What better ways for the Nigerian government to make money than through the fickleness of human beings.

crackhaus:

Interesting...so in a country that prides itself on being the most free and liberal on the entire planet, someone can actually be jailed for choosing to cheat on their spouse but another man gets recognition for choosing to fall in love, have sex, and marry a fellow man? Lmao...

And you're honestly telling me that you don't see anything wrong in a system like this:
Homosexuality √
Polygamy ×
Infidelity ×
Feminism √
Animal rights √
Transgender √

Let me guess, as long as it's legal/illegal in the USA it should be legal/illegal in Nigeria because they always know what they're doing.

On a more serious note though,
Are those laws even implemented?
Like people go to jail for committing adultery? Honest questions..

Most people in the US are not even privy to these laws.
Also the premise is not that since it is applicable in the US, it should now be enforced in Nigeria. Absolutely not. My argument is independent of the United States. I highlighted the US because these suggestions are not new nor groundbreaking. Now Nigeria boasts of being highly religious, and champion marriage. Nigerians arrive at most conclusions and decisions through religion and culture. Now the two religious entities (christian/muslim) frown against adultery. What better way to curb adultery than sanctioning it? There are little protections given to spouses during the marriage. Why do we have to focus on outside the marriage (divorce) for the disenfranchised spouse to be protected?