NewStats: 3,264,690 , 8,184,424 topics. Date: Thursday, 12 June 2025 at 04:54 AM 635k70

Hello

My marriage is ending and i am devasted. I got married at a very young age and we have two amazing children. I always say marriage is my biggest achievement but that is falling apart and i dont know how i will be able to live on.

My husband is muslim and im not. In the begging this has never been an issue. We had a great marriage. My husband started getting more religious which caused some conflict for example he wont watch certain movies or listen to music. I love romatic movies and rnb songs. He also complains about dressing etc but i think we always managed to find a balance somewhat.

He expects sex nearly everyday if we dont then he gets angry and says rude things.

He wants constant attention even when we sit down together 5 hours he will still say i dont give him attention.

I dont have many friends in our town so rarely go out. My family is in another town so i call my mum and family. When im on the phone too long he gets angry and says i dont give him attention, im a bad wife ,and its better we are not together

We have some good times but once every like 2 weeks he gets very angry over something very little and says really rude things that are hurtful like i am not a good wife.

Yesterday i woke up at 6am and i had a text from a friend who was worrying about something and i responded. He got angry saying how can i wife text at 6am- making it seem like im cheating when im not which i found degrading. He has my phone . And he always checks it. I am 100% loyal.

i said to him i will respond to my friend who needs help at any time. He said well then we shouldnt be married if you dont listen to your husband and accused me of being disrespectful When he gets angry he threatens me with divorce. This time i had enough and i printed divorce papers and completed them.

I never thought i would get divorced. I am so sad and devasted.

i love my husband but he has changed so much. i feel like he is always disapointed in me. Nothing i do is good enough and puts me down. I feel like my husband now wants a different kind of wife not me and hence he is always disapointed in every little thing. And to clarify i dont believe my husband is cheating.

My family is my whole word. But i guess thats not enough

Not sure how i will move on

You will be fine. It’s better to be divorced and have peace of mind than constantly worrying what next will upset him. I hope you work, if you don’t, start searching for job opportunities cos you will need the finances as soon as the divorce is done.

With time, love will call again. In the interim, get yourself and sanity back in order

Remymaa:
➜Hello,My marriage is ending and i am devasted. I got married at a very young age and we have two amazing children. I always say marriage is my biggest achievement but that is falling apart and i dont know how i will be able to live on.
My husband is muslim and im not. In the begging this has never been an issue. We had a great marriage. My husband started getting more religious which caused some conflict for example he wont watch certain movies or listen to music. I love romatic movies and rnb songs. He also complains about dressing etc but i think we always managed to find a balance somewhat.
🚩 He expects sex nearly everyday if we dont then he gets angry and says rude things.
🚩 He wants constant attention even when we sit down together 5 hours he will still say i dont give him attention.
🚩 I dont have many friends in our town so rarely go out. My family is in another town so i call my mum and family. When im on the phone too long he gets angry and says i dont give him attention, im a bad wife ,and its better we are not together
🚩 We have some good times but once every like 2 weeks he gets very angry over something very little and says really rude things that are hurtful like i am not a good wife.
🚩 Yesterday i woke up at 6am and i had a text from a friend who was worrying about something and i responded. He got angry saying how can i wife text at 6am- making it seem like im cheating when im not which i found degrading. He has my phone . And he always checks it. I am 100% loyal.
➜i said to him i will respond to my friend who needs help at any time. He said well then we shouldnt be married if you dont listen to your husband and accused me of being disrespectful When he gets angry he threatens me with divorce. This time i had enough and i printed divorce papers and completed them. I never thought i would get divorced. I am so sad and devasted.
i love my husband but he has changed so much. i feel like he is always disapointed in me. Nothing i do is good enough and puts me down. I feel like my husband now wants a different kind of wife not me and hence he is always disapointed in every little thind
My family is my whole word. But i guess thats not enough. Not sure how i will move on

Are you certain your mind is ready to leave, or do you wish to hold on to all those red flags a little longer? Have you already filed the divorce papers in the courts? If not, consider marriage counseling since you claim you still love your husband and he is your all. Also, consider taking a break and going to spend some time with your own family and friends at least.

StPete:
You will be fine. It’s better to be divorced and have peace of mind than constantly worrying what next will upset him. I hope you work, if you don’t, start searching for job opportunities cos you will need the finances as soon as the divorce is done.

With time, love will call again. In the interim, get yourself and sanity back in order

I do work and have a good career. Thank you for your words. Its so tough because he is everything to me. I go to him for every decision and he has all my savings because he is good with budget.

It will be starting again 😂 even thinking for myself. I know it sounds mad but i met him at 18 now im nearly 40.

Sorry about that. Sounds like your husband is a very feminine man. If everything is as you said then I think you're better off with someone less insecure. But the part I don't understand is you printing, filling and serving him divorce papers and then saying you didn't think you'd be divorced.

Remymaa:


I do work and have a good career. Thank you for your words. Its so tough because he is everything to me. I go to him for every decision and he has all my savings because he is good with budget.

It will be starting again 😂 even thinking for myself. I know it sounds mad but i met him at 18 now im nearly 40.

I

Maybe he will come to his senses once you leave and then readjust his mindset when he starts missing you. But don’t count on it, do yourself a lot of good by preparing for the future. A future without him if possible and a future of setting goals, achieving them and been a better person

Remymaa:


I do work and have a good career. Thank you for your words. Its so tough because he is everything to me. I go to him for every decision and he has all my savings because he is good with budget.

It will be starting again 😂 even thinking for myself. I know it sounds mad but i met him at 18 now im nearly 40.

chai
You love this man from this your write up.
Maybe na see finish sha

Give him space

Remymaa:
Hello

My marriage is ending and i am devasted. I got married at a very young age and we have two amazing children. I always say marriage is my biggest achievement but that is falling apart and i dont know how i will be able to live on.

My husband is muslim and im not. In the begging this has never been an issue. We had a great marriage. My husband started getting more religious which caused some conflict for example he wont watch certain movies or listen to music. I love romatic movies and rnb songs. He also complains about dressing etc but i think we always managed to find a balance somewhat.

He expects sex nearly everyday if we dont then he gets angry and says rude things.

He wants constant attention even when we sit down together 5 hours he will still say i dont give him attention.

I dont have many friends in our town so rarely go out. My family is in another town so i call my mum and family. When im on the phone too long he gets angry and says i dont give him attention, im a bad wife ,and its better we are not together

We have some good times but once every like 2 weeks he gets very angry over something very little and says really rude things that are hurtful like i am not a good wife.

Yesterday i woke up at 6am and i had a text from a friend who was worrying about something and i responded. He got angry saying how can i wife text at 6am- making it seem like im cheating when im not which i found degrading. He has my phone . And he always checks it. I am 100% loyal.

i said to him i will respond to my friend who needs help at any time. He said well then we shouldnt be married if you dont listen to your husband and accused me of being disrespectful When he gets angry he threatens me with divorce. This time i had enough and i printed divorce papers and completed them.

I never thought i would get divorced. I am so sad and devasted.

i love my husband but he has changed so much. i feel like he is always disapointed in me. Nothing i do is good enough and puts me down. I feel like my husband now wants a different kind of wife not me and hence he is always disapointed in every little thing. And to clarify i dont believe my husband is cheating.

My family is my whole word. But i guess thats not enough

Not sure how i will move on

I understand how frustrated you must have felt.
I just hope you both could find a way to live in peace.

I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this. It could become a blessing for you. You will enjoy getting to know yourself again, building your self respect and confidence. Lean on your family and friends, and you will look back one day with gratitude for this opportunity to grow. You have a co dependent relationship with your husband so invest in therapy and get yourself back. You deserve to be happy, safe, and filled with joy. You can do it! Please seek therapy.

It is understandable that having got married early and stayed this long with your husband you may feel empty at the thought of not been together....maybe like someone suggested up there, you guys should try and get some kind of elderly person and/or pro counsellor to try and intervene and see. If not, you may have to take a walk from that union unfortunately...

Some things are a no brainer in marriage. Religion is one of them. The doctrines on how to treat your spouse are quite different in both major religions. Besides, once threats of divorce comes in, the earlier, the better.

If you're almost 40 then your husband's age might be hovering around 40 too. It might be mid life crisis or as a Muslim, he's thinking of taking another wife and is just looking for an excuse.

Since he's getting too religious means he might be changing his views about one wife and thinking of getting another one. He doesn't know how to go about it and he's looking for an excuse. I think you should just relax, watch and keep your options open. Don't push the divorce option to him or he will use it against you.