NewStats: 3,263,753 , 8,181,278 topics. Date: Saturday, 07 June 2025 at 06:02 PM 3i1b64

Babatunjo:


That's a fair point, and I respect your take. But this post isn't about my father or any one person's experience—it's about questioning whether the current structure of marriage still serves men in a healthy and balanced way.

Many men today feel trapped between cultural expectations and personal reality. The goal here isn’t to dismiss marriage, but to open a real conversation about how it can evolve to serve both partners better.

Let’s hear more perspectives—has marriage been a blessing or burden for the men you know?

You answered the kid maturely, well done.

I’m married and I must confess that marriage has its pros and cons.

Pros:
Extra meaning to life: You’re a provider and you have a legacy to protect, your kids are an extension of you, so you just sense that in years to come, they would replace you.

Secondly, marriage opens doors: dunno if this is due to extra pressure or whatever, but I was able to build 3 houses whilst being married although I bought the land as a bachelor.

Thirdly, the society somewhat accords you respect which can open unforeseen doors.


Cons:
Bills, bills, bills , bills more bills. You’ll find it hard to do anything asides from work and providing, once you stop doing this, you’ll feel so empty that death would look like a good idea.
The days of managing 3k and sapa rice is gone, you must have money at all times, emergency funds should always be kept.
For introverts, sometimes you just wanna be alone, but it’s impossible at this point, if you go out, you’ll have to explain where you went to and all that.
I can go on and on but lemme stop here.

Before marrying, ensure your wife can bring something substantial to the table. Her beauty would fade after some years, the value would not. If you marry a woman from a wealthy home, even better.

https://youtube.com/shorts/UVG309Wkiz8?si=fc1GrtqasdDj4195
❗❗❗

algomachine:


You answered the kid maturely, well done.

I’m married and I must confess that marriage has its pros and cons.

Pros:
Extra meaning to life: You’re a provider and you have a legacy to protect, your kids are an extension of you, so you just sense that in years to come, they would replace you.

Secondly, marriage opens ...............

The truth is, marriage stretches you, but it also builds you if you let it.

And I love how you balanced it: the meaning, the growth, the respect… but also the bills, the stress, the constant explaining 😂. Real talk.

Babatunjo:
Dear Men and Women:
Is it time we redefined what marriage means in our culture?
Should a man marry for love, legacy, pressure—or not at all?

Drop your hot takes in the comments. Let’s talk. 👇🏽

the only thing men gain in marriage is satisfying their konji

If u want to benefit from marriage .. ensure u marry a woman who worships you .. if not..u are just on a long woeful experiment that will benefit the woman alone

When children enter, the drama change bro.
Its almost impossible for a wife to love man than her children.

Negroid001:
If you marry a woman that loves you more than you love her, you'll enjoy marriage.

If not. Sorry ooo.

Babatunjo:
That's a fair point, and I respect your take. But this post isn't about my father or any one person's experience—it's about questioning whether the current structure of marriage still serves men in a healthy and balanced way.

Many men today feel trapped between cultural expectations and personal reality. The goal here isn’t to dismiss marriage, but to open a real conversation about how it can evolve to serve both partners better.

Let’s hear more perspectives—has marriage been a blessing or burden for the men you know?

What exactly do you mean by, "current structure of marriage"? Marriage and its purpose remain unchanged. If you have changed any of them for yourself, that's your cup of tea.

Marriage, like every other thing, pays according to how it is handled. Marry wrongly and the marriage will be a burden to you. Marry rightly and the marriage will be a blessing to you. What you plant is what you reap.

The reality is that perverts and abs are growing in population. Instead of condemning marriage, condemn abuse and perversion. As there is a rise in divorce, there is also a rise in road accident. Nobody has questioned whether cars offer any benefit to men. But you are asking whether marriage offers any benefit to man.

algomachine:
You answered the kid maturely, well done.

I’m married and I must confess that marriage has its pros and cons.

Pros:
Extra meaning to life: You’re a provider and you have a legacy to protect, your kids are an extension of you, so you just sense that in years to come, they would replace you.

Secondly, marriage opens doors: dunno if this is due to extra pressure or whatever, but I was able to build 3 houses whilst being married although I bought the land as a bachelor.

Thirdly, the society somewhat accords you respect which can open unforeseen doors.


Cons:
Bills, bills, bills , bills more bills. You’ll find it hard to do anything asides from work and providing, once you stop doing this, you’ll feel so empty that death would look like a good idea.
The days of managing 3k and sapa rice is gone, you must have money at all times, emergency funds should always be kept.
For introverts, sometimes you just wanna be alone, but it’s impossible at this point, if you go out, you’ll have to explain where you went to and all that.
I can go on and on but lemme stop here.

Before marrying, ensure your wife can bring something substantial to the table. Her beauty would fade after some years, the value would not. If you marry a woman from a wealthy home, even better.

You and the poster are the kids here.

What exactly does he mean by, "current structure of marriage"? Marriage and its purpose remain unchanged. If you have changed any of them for yourself, that's your cup of tea.

Marriage, like every other thing, pays according to how it is handled. Marry wrongly and the marriage will be a burden to you. Marry rightly and the marriage will be a blessing to you. What you plant is what you reap.

The reality is that perverts and abs are growing in population. Instead of condemning marriage, condemn abuse and perversion. As there is a rise in divorce, there is also a rise in road accident. Nobody has questioned whether cars offer any benefit to men. But you are asking whether marriage offers any benefit to man.

immortalcrown:
What exactly do you mean by, "current structure of marriage"? Marriage............
......... As there is a rise in divorce, there is also a rise in road accident. Nobody has questioned whether cars offer any benefit to men. But you are asking whether marriage offers any benefit to man.

I feel you, boss. Marriage as an institution might not have changed—but the world around it don change tire. Expectations, pressure, shifting roles, cost of living and so on.

When I say “current structure,” I mean the way marriage feels for plenty men today.

Nobody dey attack marriage o. But let’s be real—if cars started catching fire more often, people would question them too. 😅 Na the same thing we dey do here.

Babatunjo:
I feel you, boss. Marriage as an institution might not have changed—but the world around it don change tire. Expectations, pressure, shifting roles, cost of living and so on.

When I say “current structure,” I mean the way marriage feels for plenty men today.

Nobody dey attack marriage o. But let’s be real—if cars started catching fire more often, people would question them too. 😅 Na the same thing we dey do here.

Marriage does not decide how it should be felt by people. People decide how they feel marriage.

Why are you pushing the blame on marriage instead of blaming those who decide to feel marriage wrongly?

Marriage does not change itself but people can change their approach and perceptions of marriage. So, why are you questioning marriage instead of questioning people who change their approach to marriage?

Babatunjo:


That's a fair point, and I respect your take. But this post isn't about my father or any one person's experience—it's about questioning whether the current structure of marriage still serves men in a healthy and balanced way.

Many men today feel trapped between cultural expectations and personal reality. The goal here isn’t to dismiss marriage, but to open a real conversation about how it can evolve to serve both partners better.

Let’s hear more perspectives—has marriage been a blessing or burden for the men you know?

Intelligent talk.

immortalcrown:
Marriage does not decide how it should be felt by people. People decide how they feel marriage.

Why are you pushing the blame on marriage instead of .......?

True, marriage doesn’t decide how it’s felt, people do. But let’s be honest, not everyone enters with the same tools, mindset, or .

And while some build legacies in marriage, others quietly drown in it. We’ve seen good men break down, some even take their lives, all while “doing this right thing/marriage.

Babatunjo:
True, marriage doesn’t decide how it’s felt, people do. But let’s be honest, not everyone enters with the same tools, mindset, or .

And while some build legacies in marriage, others quietly drown in it. We’ve seen good men break down, some even take their lives, all while “doing this right thing/marriage.

You have itted that people use attitude to condition marriage. You have itted that marriage does not condition itself. So, why do you sound as if marriage has turned itself against humanity? Why do you throw your question at marriage itself instead of throwing the question at those who go into marriage with the wrong mindset?

immortalcrown:
You have itted that people use attitude to condition marriage. You have itted that marriage does not condition itself. So, why do you sound as if ..........

When something keeps going wrong for many, wisdom demands we step back, not just to question who’s in it, but what we’ve turned it (marriage) into.

Marriage no do anybody bad on its own, but the way we dey structure am, hype am, and pressure people into it—na that one dey quietly wound plenty souls.

Babatunjo:
When something keeps going wrong for many, wisdom demands we step back, not just to question who’s in it, but what we’ve turned it (marriage) into.

Marriage no do anybody bad on its own, but the way we dey structure am, hype am, and pressure people into it—na that one dey quietly wound plenty souls.

The rate of road accident is increasing. Nobody has asked if cars have benefits for men.

The rate of building collapse is increasing. Yet, everybody wants to be a landlord instead of asking whether houses have benefits for men.

So, why is the reaction different for marriage? Aren't people hyping houses and cars? In fact, the pressure for cars and houses is more than the pressure for marriage. Yet, the poster is indirectly trying to discredit marriage.

immortalcrown:
The rate of road accident is increasing. Nobody has asked if cars have benefits for men.

The rate of building collapse is increasing. Yet, ..........
So, why is the reaction different for marriage? Aren't people hyping ........... poster is indirectly trying to discredit marriage.

It's true, cars dey kill, houses dey collapse. But we do service/repair our cars, go to driving school, and follow building plans. Why? Because even good things need structure and ability.

Now let's look at marriage:
Nigeria’s divorce rate has increased significantly over the last decade. There are scientific researches linking relationship stress to rising male suicide and depression.

So it's not about discrediting marriage o, but to ask: how can we build it better? Even a mansion go fall if the foundation bend.

Babatunjo:
It's true, cars dey kill, houses dey collapse. But we do service/repair our cars, go to driving school, and follow building plans. Why? Because even good things need structure and ability.

Now let's look at marriage:
Nigeria’s divorce rate has increased significantly over the last decade. There are scientific researches linking relationship stress to rising male suicide and depression.

So it's not about discrediting marriage o, but to ask: how can we build it better? Even a mansion go fall if the foundation bend.

I already addressed everything you said here.

As you go to driving schools and following building plans, attend marriage seminars and stick to the purpose of marriage.

immortalcrown:
I already addressed everything you said here.

As you go to driving schools and following building plans, attend marriage seminars and stick to the purpose of marriage.

No wahala. But marriage prep for men needs to reflect today's realities, not just recycled advice from another era.

Too many men attend seminars, stick to the script, and still get blindsided. Why? Because the manual no match the terrain.

We’re not knocking marriage, we’re saying: update the tools, update the talk.

Babatunjo:
No wahala. But marriage prep for men needs to reflect today's realities—not just recycled advice from another era.

Too many men attend seminars, stick to the script, and still get blindsided. Why? Because the manual no match the terrain.

We’re not knocking marriage—we’re saying: update the tools, update the talk.

I mentioned marriage seminar here because you mentioned driving school. The seminar is to marriage what driving school is to driving cars. Many did not go to driving school but they are good drivers. Many have enjoyed or have been enjoying peaceful marriages without having attended any marriage seminar.

Any man who is sincere to himself does not need to attend marriage seminars. Any man who does not choose physical appearance over good behaviour does not need to attend marriage seminars before he can have a peaceful marriage. Any man who is dedicated to his marriage without looking at other women outside will have a good marriage without marriage seminars.

Divorce rate is increasing as the society gets more marriage seminar centres. This is the same way the rate of road accident is increasing as the society gets more driving schools. This is because the population of abs and perverts is growing. People know the right thing but are unwilling to do it. Nothing is wrong with marriage. But so many things are wrong with humans and the way humans approach marriage these days.

The post is subtly condemning marriage by questioning whether marriage has any benefit for men. What the post should have done is to question why people approach marriage wrongly, or question what people could have been doing wrongly in marriage these days.

immortalcrown:
I mentioned marriage seminar here because you mentioned driving school. The seminar is to marriage what driving school is to ...... of abs and perverts is growing. People..........should have done is to question why people approach marriage wrongly, or question what people could have been doing wrongly in marriage these days.

Your points are valid, and I agree, perverts and abs deserve whatever karma serves them.

But let’s not pretend every man suffering in marriage is a cheat or unwise. Some entered with pure intentions and strong values, yet still got crushed by emotional manipulation, sex starvation, and constant power struggles.

Marriage isn’t for every man, and that’s okay. It’s a tool, a structure, a kind of technology meant to serve a purpose. If you choose to adopt it, do it wisely.

My tip for men:

- Vet for deep character, not just vibes or beauty.
- Don’t marry a woman who sees submission as oppression.
- Guard your mental health. Your life literally depends on it.
- And never enter marriage because of pressure. Enter with purpose, or don’t enter at all.

Babatunjo:
Your points are valid, and I agree, perverts and abs deserve whatever karma serves them.

But let’s not pretend every man suffering in marriage is a cheat or unwise. Some entered with pure intentions and strong values, yet still got crushed by emotional manipulation, sex starvation, and constant power struggles.

Marriage isn’t for every man, and that’s okay. It’s a tool, a structure, a kind of technology meant to serve a purpose. If you choose to adopt it, do it wisely.

My tip for men:

- Vet for deep character, not just vibes or beauty.
- Don’t marry a woman who sees submission as oppression.
- Guard your mental health, your life literally depends on it.
- And never enter marriage because of pressure. Enter with purpose, or don’t enter at all.

You have finally accepted the truth you tried to oppose.

immortalcrown:
You have finally accepted the truth you tried to oppose.

Not quite. I didn't oppose the truth.

Two things fit dey true at once:
Some men mess up marriage...
And some marriages mess up men.