NewStats: 3,263,763 , 8,181,324 topics. Date: Saturday, 07 June 2025 at 07:44 PM 2e6f2o

bukatyne:


Acid, the true reason women today are wary of 'building' with a man is because they have seen their mothers and grandmothers building with nothing to.show for it.

Most of the older rich men sleeping with young girls, or marrying young blood were men whom their wives built with.

A man marries the woman he needs when he is young and then gravitates to the woman he wants when he has made money (if he doesn't have the fear of God). Muslims have made it official: marry a 'let's build together' when he is young and struggling then starts picking hot and sexy younger hajias to warm his blood.

At least if the man is rich and he betrays you in future, it wouldn't pain you so much.

I don’t quite agree with the cheating angle completely. I would argue that when it comes to cheating, men and women are pretty much on the same level. Some might just be more discreet about it. I have always believed that anyone marrying a Muslim man already prepares her mind for co-wives. Their religion permits it; a section of the law permits it. So, no excuse for them.

I think we are just caught up in some kind of social engineering as a society, where these patterns of behavior and expectations are being shaped by bigger forces like the economy, not necessarily the realities of our aged parents. Consider the economy of those years vs today's economy.

bukatyne:


The ruthless ones are minute out of the pool.

Hmmn....

CaveAdullam:


I get your point, Chief.

But the heart will always go for what it wants.

Creating a chasm for love which is automatically becomes romantic classism does more harm than good.

Love is not business. Business is not love. Both are separate concepts.

By the way, there's a higher possibility of CU male graduate + CU female graduate. But if it never occurred and it eventually becomes a poly female graduate that's what the heart really want.

The thing here is that most marriages are based on same level of spouse's potentials.

And in a hypothetical scenario, if we really want to tour this line, the majority are not going to get married.

Summarily: as witnessed average men and women get married to mates at the same level as them.

Thanks.

I get your point bro but how come women are not blind to pick someone above them? It is because they don't choose with emotions (Love) rather Logical.
Any one who chooses based on emotions/Love would always regret it on the long run.
Women are not blind to come back from Canada or US or UK to pick a spouse yet the men are so blind to do such.
Women heart are not soft towards a lady working in Chevron to pick a teacher yet a man's heart is so emotional.
Everything begins from mindset.
I will regularly nature them in the kind of ladies to bring home.
Moreover, your environment 85% of the time will give you your spouse.
Where you go to regularly is where you will most likely see your spouse - CU environment, back home to Lekki, shopping at ShopRite, church at winners in Lekki, golf club house etc is 85% most likely where you will meet who you will toast and date.
Unlike poor people who are not conscious of their life's actions, I am very very conscious of it.
You said if we toe this line marriage will crumble or reduce, I doubt that just that most will marry within their level.
One thing am sure is that, no lady will use marriage to my son to correct her family's broke situation.
Not my sons.
Moreover, the only reason marriage is still happening is because men Love it and will go a length to have it.
If most women are educated and have good jobs, they recent it.
Women don'tike marriage, they only like relationship.
In relationship, they are not obligated to do anything or have any responsibility. They don't enjoy waking up every morning to cook for you and the kids or fo to the market.
If they can, they also want to wake when they feel like, cook and eat what they feel like and when they feel like without the necessary pressure of it from marriage.
With relationship, they still get the sex, gifts, outings without the necesity of cooking for you when you come to their apartment or wash your clothes. A can of coke in the fridge with snack should do while you gist and have sex.
They should all cut us some slacks about marriage up and down abeg

Gerrard59:

With this coming from you, the feeling I experienced when I saw the moniker eh. It cannot be described! For you to say this, it means you have seen it all.

I might be accused of being immature or rude, but for YOU to say this, that is the end. Make everybody go house. The church session haff end.

Sooner or later, there is one last bus stop you will arrive at. I will print that one and stamp it in my room.

LMAO 😅😅

We all need to see and observe certain trends more critically.

emmaodet:


I get your point bro but how come women are not blind to pick someone above them? It is because they don't choose with emotions (Love) rather Logical.
Any one who chooses based on emotions/Love would always regret it on the long run.
Women are not blind to come back from Canada or US or UK to pick a spouse yet the men are so blind to do such.
Women heart are not soft towards a lady working in Chevron to pick a teacher yet a man's heart is so emotional.
Everything begins from mindset.
I will regularly nature them in the kind of ladies to bring home.
Moreover, your environment 85% of the time will give you your spouse.
Where you go to regularly is where you will most likely see your spouse - CU environment, back home to Lekki, shopping at ShopRite, church at winners in Lekki, golf club house etc is 85% most likely where you will meet who you will toast and date.
Unlike poor people who are not conscious of their life's actions, I am very very conscious of it.
You said if we toe this line marriage will crumble or reduce, I doubt that just that most will marry within their level.
One thing am sure is that, no lady will use marriage to my son to correct her family's broke situation.
Not my sons.
Moreover, the only reason marriage is still happening is because men Love it and will go a length to have it.
If most women are educated and have good jobs, they recent it.
Women don'tike marriage, they only like relationship.
In relationship, they are not obligated to do anything or have any responsibility. They don't enjoy waking up every morning to cook for you and the kids or fo to the market.
If they can, they also want to wake when they feel like, cook and eat what they feel like and when they feel like without the necessary pressure of it from marriage.
With relationship, they still get the sex, gifts, outings without the necesity of cooking for you when you come to their apartment or wash your clothes. A can of coke in the fridge with snack should do while you gist and have sex.
They should all cut us some slacks about marriage up and down abeg

The truth here is that love and romance are not logical. That's it.

Women are choosing men higher than them, but how many women are getting married to millionaires and billionaires every weekend?

We shouldn't allow our sentiments to becloud our reasoning.

Like I said earlier, love is not business. Business is not love. If the whole concept of love is weighed on the altar of business, then, there's no love. And if there's no love there's no need pursuing relationship or marriage. This applies to both men and women.

Even if all the men and women on earth become millionaires tomorrow, that void which needs to be filled with love and romance will still be there. We shouldn't allow social media fool us.

Rich girls and women today feel like they don't need men because they are still in their prime and early career phase. Wait till when they start aging. This applies to men too. They are both hustling for penis and vagina respectively behind the scene. But the compromise and sacrifices that are involved in dating and marriage are what they are trying to escape.

Not saying a man should blindly select for a lady without adequately vetting her for what he wants in a woman. She must meet his metrics. However, the majority of men and women will marry at their level.

Thanks.

CaveAdullam:


Nice points, chief. Those women in higher offices and of higher statuses are getting married to men at the same level as them and higher.

There's something we must understand: top-tier people are the 0.1% of every society. They are not common. In most cases they only rotate within their axis - individuals at same level as them. Back to the evolutionary game: men date lower while women date higher.

The rest of your post is true, but the bold got my attention because there seems to be this existing belief that is peddled on our social media that everyone can be wealthy. Every time, I read the words "wealthy", "rich people", "billionaires" etc., and wonder if people don't know that such people aren't plentiful in any part of the world. Everyone can not be wealthy because there are serious inflationary consequences. But our people go dey use the words "the rich people, the rich people" in their posts, especially in describing or talking about marriage or general living. "Financially comfortable", "well-to-do", "financially stable" are better than "rich and wealthy". Wealthy people no plenty for any part of the world. The majority of humans are at best average.

Men date lower because they easily flex their authority - leading, providing, and protecting. Women date higher because they are the weaker sex and search for the aforementioned men to safeguard them. Going back to the majority of the population - middle class and lower class, there will always be a higher possibility and probability in dating and marriage within their strata. Even if men date lower, in many wedding ceremonies we've have been opportuned to witness on social media - high profile men in their numbers got married to high profile women. And vice-versa. Men aiming for high profile women must be occupying high profile zones. This is not a work of letters and imagination. It must be so. Women are not visiting clubs and high-end places with their expensive make-up and wears for nothing. They are simply targeting fat preys - rich and successful men. If men are advised to marry high-value women, they also must raise their standard by becoming high value men. The crux of the matter: men and women as we've continuously witnessed every weekend always get married at approximately same level as their potential mates.

This is apt. Nature solves the whole problem. But the growing problem is that modern day women have become so educated and earn their own money to the extent that this has made them (rightfully so) believe they deserve men who out-earn them and are more educated (the men still have to provide). With women's inclusion into the labour force, jobs have been divided thus, many men cannot compete in order to provide. Additionally, the kind of men these women want is very few, which is why there is a growing number of single but highly educated and financially stable women in the society. So, women would have to choose a struggle in the coming years. An example is this article, which shows a growing number of educated women marrying men with less educational qualifications because, truthfully, the men they naturally desire no plenty and have far greater options.

See here: https: //www. theatlantic. com/family/archive/2025/03/marrying-down-wife-education-hypogamy/682223/

Of course, in last few decades, there has been a social and cultural change which affects the way we see dating, romance, love, and marriage. However, regardless of socio-cultural changes, humans will still rotate around their biological and evolutionary axis.

Thanks.

Nature will always win, which is why the belief by every young lady that she will marry a rich man or every young man's belief that he would be rich is misplaced. With the education, exposure and social media content, I don kuku see say an increasing number of people will remain single till they kpeme.

emmaodet:


Yes, I understand bro and it is okay by me but my point is that even if men are going to go low, it shouldn't be that low all in the name of Love.
We go too too too low honestly. Marry within your range or band. All kind of ladies will always be within your band.
I don't want to believe it is only the ladies from broke homes that are humble or submissive. You will find them in the middle and upper class too. It is your job as a man to find them and marry if you are in that class.

Agreed.

Most ladies who were born and brought up in Lekki won't dare marry a guy from egbeda all in the name of Love.

Even Ikeja GRA does not look feasible considering the continuous Mainland vs Island rivalry.

The least they can settle for is a guy in Lekki too or abroad while a guy staying in VI will be wifing a lady in iyana ipaja all in the name of yeye Love.

Sorry, but does this really happen in real life? I really doubt o as Cave explained it.

If you are going to come down, not too low. Lekki, VI and environment should be the lowest too.

I can have a son who I sponsored to convenant university come home with a lady from Polytechnic honestly. I and his mother would reject her. I will threaten her not to come near my house again.
The least he can go is Babcock or any top tier private uni, not even govt federal universities honestly.
Apologies to most of us that went to govt schools but unfortunately, I won't allow my son descend so low to pick a lady from there.
Actually I don't care if we have rich kids in govt. schools but he dare not

To an extent, I can understand not marrying from a polytechnic for a man who studied at Covenant. See why I said the VI to Iyana Ipaja does not look feasible? But what about Covenant (man) and UNILAG (woman)? CU (woman) and first generation federal university (man)? Let's also put in mind that those from public universities outnumber their private universities' counterparts. But what I see happening will be arranged or marriages by recommendations. Many parents, especially of their privately educated daughters, will want to be involved in choosing men for them. To solve most of these problems, the Nigerian economy has to grow at above 5 - 7% GDP rate.

Gerrard59:

The rest of your post is true, but the bold got my attention because there seems to be this existing belief that is peddled on our social media that everyone can be wealthy. Every time, I read the words "wealthy", "rich people", "billionaires" etc., and wonder if people don't know that such people aren't plentiful in any part of the world. Everyone can not be wealthy because there are serious inflationary consequences. But our people go dey use the words "the rich people, the rich people" in their posts, especially in describing or talking about marriage or general living. "Financially comfortable", "well-to-do", "financially stable" are better than "rich and wealthy". Wealthy people no plenty for any part of the world. The majority of humans are at best average.


This is apt. Nature solves the whole problem. But the growing problem is that modern day women have become so educated and earn their own money to the extent that this has made them (rightfully so) believe they deserve men who out-earn them and are more educated (the men still have to provide). With women's inclusion into the labour force, jobs have been divided thus, many men cannot compete in order to provide. Additionally, the kind of men these women want is very few, which is why there is a growing number of single but highly educated and financially stable women in the society. So, women would have to choose a struggle in the coming years. An example is this article, which shows a growing number of educated women marrying men with less educational qualifications because, truthfully, the men they naturally desire no plenty and have far greater options.

See here: https: //www. theatlantic. com/family/archive/2025/03/marrying-down-wife-education-hypogamy/682223/


Nature will always win, which is why the belief by every young lady that she will marry a rich man or every young man's belief that he would be rich is misplaced. With the education, exposure and social media content, I don kuku see say an increasing number of people will remain single till they kpeme.

Nice input, chief. Apt.

Social media has really distorted us from reality. The way we judge and see things is now solely based on social media effects.

As far as humans continue to inhabit the earth, men and women will always fall back to the cause of biology and nature. It's just a matter of time. Or, risk sending your lineage to extinction - which is still another side of nature.

Thanks.

Gerrard59:

Agreed.


Even Ikeja GRA does not look feasible considering the continuous Mainland vs Island rivalry.


Sorry, but does this really happen in real life? I really doubt o as Cave explained it.

If you are going to come down, not too low. Lekki, VI and environment should be the lowest too.

To an extent, I can understand not marrying from a polytechnic for a man who studied at Covenant. See why I said the VI to Iyana Ipaja does not look feasible? But what about Covenant (man) and UNILAG (woman)? CU (woman) and first generation federal university (man)? Let's also put in mind that those from public universities outnumber their private universities' counterparts. But what I see happening will be arranged or marriages by recommendations. Many parents, especially of their privately educated daughters, will want to be involved in choosing men for them. To solve most of these problems, the Nigerian economy has to grow at above 5 - 7% GDP rate.

How will growing the economy by 5% GDP solve the problem?

emmaodet:


How will growing the economy by 5% GDP solve the problem?

Men will get jobs and marry women. But in an anaemic economy with fewer jobs but a growing number of educated women, many women will remain single for a long time.

Men need to hold more jobs - whether high paying or lowly paid - than women in any society. The opposite or even equality will lead to a societal mishap.

To think that more than a decade ago on Nairaland, I argued for equal employment for both genders 😔