NewStats: 3,263,803 , 8,181,444 topics. Date: Sunday, 08 June 2025 at 12:22 AM 4m3z5y

Lately, I've been thinking deeply about the phrase "na man dey do man", and honestly, it's beginning to make more sense to me every day. Nigeria is hard enough as it is, but what makes it worse is how we treat each other, especially when we're in a position to help.

Let me ask: why is it that when a man needs help from his fellow man, that help becomes a burden or a transaction? But if it's a woman asking, the same man suddenly becomes generous, ive, and willing to go the extra mile.

Why is it that we, especially as men, find it difficult to uplift each other without attaching conditions, envy, or power play? A friend that has the means to help you will turn his back, ignore your calls, or start giving excuses, yet the same person will post motivational quotes and act like a saviour on social media.

We blame the government, but sometimes the problem is us. We are the ones frustrating each other, gatekeeping opportunities, and turning everything into competition. It’s almost like helping another man succeed is a threat to your own success.

This mindset has to change. Until we start genuinely helping one another, this cycle of hardship will continue. Imagine if everyone decided to lift the next person up, be it with a job lead, a , a word of encouragement, or even just fair treatment.

Let's do better. "Na man dey do man," yes, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

Seriously na mam dey do man, some men can never render any assistance to their fellow man, be it brother, relation or friend maybe in trying to get a job or financial assistance but they rather spend heavily on a woman and worst of it all these women never really appreciate them, they just keep demanding and demanding.

Some men do these things at the expense of their nuclear family. They rather give a woman money to get a wig than to pay for their child's tuition, even if their brother is being evicted from their apartment they will still act not having but rather spend it on one side chick or girl

kenn4rill:
Seriously na mam dey do man, some men can never render any assistance to their fellow man, be it brother, relation or friend maybe in trying to get a job or financial assistance but they rather spend heavily on a woman and worst of it all these women never really appreciate them, they just keep demanding and demanding.

Some men do these things at the expense of their nuclear family. They rather give a woman money to get a wig than to pay for their child's tuition, even if their brother is being evicted from their apartment they will still act not having but rather spend it on one side chick or girl

You're really speaking facts here. It’s honestly heartbreaking to see how some men misplace their priorities. The same energy they use to impress women, many of whom might not even genuinely care about them, could be used to lift their own family or brothers up.

Bro, I'm speaking from a true life experience..some years back around 2013 my late dad was sick then by that time I was still in the university almost rounding up, I have this elder brother he is far older than me with about 10 years and he was the one that benefited more from our that when things were rosy for him although my dad had him before he married my mom so when things went south for my dad it was my mom that was doing almost everything for us including seeing us through the university.
This my elder brother enjoyed our dad more because it was my dad that saw him through school and also helped him secure a job but this my elder brother can never assist anyone in the family, he's always complaining of not having money, even when their was vacancies in their company he rather involved his then girlfriends brother to work.
Hello later married this his girlfriend and we also lost our dad to the cold hands of death. . This my brother never bothered checking up on us he was busy pleasing his wife and her people, he even built a house for her parents in Port Harcourt because that's where we all reside, he sponsored her siblings to the university and all that while we ourselves were still in a rented apartment.
To cut the long story short, the wife left him after he sponsored her abroad and her sister. Now he is calling for reconciliation because he's broke and we are doing better.
Brother, na man do man.

Ibkay32:


You're really speaking facts here. It’s honestly heartbreaking to see how some men misplace their priorities. The same energy they use to impress women, many of whom might not even genuinely care about them, could be used to lift their own family or brothers up.

kenn4rill:
Bro, I'm speaking from a true life experience..some years back around 2013 my late dad was sick then by that time I was still in the university almost rounding up, I have this elder brother he is far older than me with about 10 years and he was the one that benefited more from our that when things were rosy for him although my dad had him before he married my mom so when things went south for my dad it was my mom that was doing almost everything for us including seeing us through the university.
This my elder brother enjoyed our dad more because it was my dad that saw him through school and also helped him secure a job but this my elder brother can never assist anyone in the family, he's always complaining of not having money, even when their was vacancies in their company he rather involved his then girlfriends brother to work.
Hello later married this his girlfriend and we also lost our dad to the cold hands of death. . This my brother never bothered checking up on us he was busy pleasing his wife and her people, he even built a house for her parents in Port Harcourt because that's where we all reside, he sponsored her siblings to the university and all that while we ourselves were still in a rented apartment.
To cut the long story short, the wife left him after he sponsored her abroad and her sister. Now he is calling for reconciliation because he's broke and we are doing better.
Brother, na man do man.

Bro… this one touch deep.

First off, I’m really sorry you had to go through all that. Life can really be wild, the same people you’d expect to stand by you, especially family, sometimes turn out to be the ones that hurt you the most. Your story is a clear case of misplaced priorities and ingratitude. That your mom held it down when things went tough says a lot about her strength. God bless her.

As for your brother, he clearly chose his path — turned his back on his own blood when it mattered most, just to chase shadows and impress outsiders. Now tables have turned, and life is reminding him of the seeds he planted..