NewStats: 3,265,269 , 8,186,184 topics. Date: Saturday, 14 June 2025 at 07:39 AM 6y4f4r

powerkey:


Pray to get married first. As a woman, what are you bringing to the table?

You can not come to the table just to be a liability to a man, who does that?

Keep your liability in your father's house.

Most of these Bannies acting karashika for men are always from very wretched Backgrounds.

But Jennyclay is a riff-raff from a poor family na . You no sabi am for this nairaland?

men are getting wiser. Soon, the number of widows will reduce

Men believe they have to worry twenty four seven before they can consider themselves as responsible. They forego sleep and exercise in exchange for financial burden, over-drinking and concern for situations they have no power to change. The life of a man is not meant to be hard. Challenging, yes. Hard, no so much. If it really was meant to be difficult, the effeminate twenty-two year olds making themselves nuisances in this forum would’ve long died out.

Exercise frequently. Take note of how many hours you naturally sleep then gift yourself at least two full nights every week. Take up meditation or yoga; they will help you think clearly. Set one day out of every fortnight to solely pamper yourself — enter a spa, cut your hair, go swimming, watch a movie, go for a dance class, chill in a park, do anything beneficial for your well-being other than drink alcohol. Drinking alcohol is not fun and neither is it healthy. Your body recovers from an assault from alcohol. That is enough to make you know it is bad.

I have recommended my guidelines to many men who only laugh them off saying that such were meant for weaklings. “Real men do not sleep!,” “real men focus only on obstacles. We don’t bother with victories or achievements,” “how am I a man if I don’t constantly worry about my family and income?” For an educated populace, Nigerians love being ignorant on the daily.

skywalker240:

It is what it is

Even this year now we are battling how to make payments for school fees, house rent around the corner, the expenses keeps building up

Most times when I get home from work, after taking my bath, i just pretend that am sleeping and take a quiet place to reflect on what and what to do to improve the condition to favour

Life goes on

Nowadays, I don't work myself up, elders over here say

"Na the one WEY you chop for your Belle, na im be your own"

So most times when am at work and I see anything that i long to put in my stomach or for my satisfaction, I buy it, even if it means telling my wife a lie

Try to rest mostly on Sundays and when you get any chance off, lock yourself in the room and sleep

I'll never forget what A Man in his late 60s told me almost 10 years ago

He said if you as a family Man fall down and die today, the children you left behind will still achieve their goals and life purposes and yes they'll survive even without you.

The bolded is so funny. But for real men go through a lot. After all the sacrifice the children still regards their mothers than their fathers. Mothers get gifts while fathers get hot gin...

The annoying part of it that when those kids grow up, their mum becomes their sole priority while they say dad will be fine

Some men are indeed going through alot

Oh... I didn't know [/b]she's[b] serial with such insensitive comment. Just wasted my energy right there... 😔

Thomthom:
Do you see her like somebody thats normal check all her comments on Nairaland

Most men who in a bid to please their wife and kids overwork themselves are either dead or suffering one illness or the other.....

Not saying one should be a deadbeat dad, but be wise in your hustling, make sure you feed well and check yourself in the hospital frequently.

When you die to morrow as a young man, another man go come kolombi your wife

Bobodee09:

Is so bad that has a married man you can't even buy yourself new wears.

Throughout last year I couldn't get myself a new set of jeans tro even tho I needed it badly despite having the money.
All the money I made last year 90% when into paying bills and household expenses.
It so crazy how you has a man you will have over 200k in your acc and you be scared to even buy yourself something of 10k cos of fear of the unknown.
In all of this my wife and kids still has many clothes they haven't worn I paid for you.

Last weekend my wife bought herself over 10 new shirt and when I saw it I reminded her how I couldn't even buy myself new jean....she told me nah me no wan buy nah.
It really hurt me cos whatever money I make the family expenses come first before my own personal needs but it isn't same for women.

I just feel marriage is design for men to suffer honestly.
People just taking from you and no one really care about what you need.

You and your wife need to sit down and discuss about finance and percentage contribution. That should have been among the first things before marriage but love no dey gree us see.

Jennyclay:
Why would he have 4 kids when he knows he’s broke and poor

Gone are those when people born as many as possible.

Take care of your wife and have just 1 or 2 kids that you can cater for without stress. Simple!!

Why are you judging him withiout knowing his actual story? What if the man was very rich but lose his wealth along the journey of life?

Besides, you think 1 or 2 kids and wife, making family of 3 or 4 is not stressful in this economy?

Bobodee09:

Is so bad that has a married man you can't even buy yourself new wears.

Throughout last year I couldn't get myself a new set of jeans tro even tho I needed it badly despite having the money.
All the money I made last year 90% when into paying bills and household expenses.
It so crazy how you has a man you will have over 200k in your acc and you be scared to even buy yourself something of 10k cos of fear of the unknown.
In all of this my wife and kids still has many clothes they haven't worn I paid for you.

Last weekend my wife bought herself over 10 new shirt and when I saw it I reminded her how I couldn't even buy myself new jean....she told me nah me no wan buy nah.
It really hurt me cos whatever money I make the family expenses come first before my own personal needs but it isn't same for women.

I just feel marriage is design for men to suffer honestly.
People just taking from you and no one really care about what you need.

Am currently in this situation,mine got lots of cloths and I jokingly reminded her how I haven't been able to buy new clothes, she said same thing
Indeed marriage just favours women

Bobodee09:

Is so bad that has a married man you can't even buy yourself new wears.

Throughout last year I couldn't get myself a new set of jeans tro even tho I needed it badly despite having the money.
All the money I made last year 90% when into paying bills and household expenses.
It so crazy how you has a man you will have over 200k in your acc and you be scared to even buy yourself something of 10k cos of fear of the unknown.
In all of this my wife and kids still has many clothes they haven't worn I paid for you.

Last weekend my wife bought herself over 10 new shirt and when I saw it I reminded her how I couldn't even buy myself new jean....she told me nah me no wan buy nah.
It really hurt me cos whatever money I make the family expenses come first before my own personal needs but it isn't same for women.

I just feel marriage is design for men to suffer honestly.
People just taking from you and no one really care about what you need.

She told you the truth and I understand your concerns.

I switched jobs last year and decided to get a few shorts since my previous bank allows jeans and t shirt/polo which became my normal wears.

I went to get shirts and found out Tommy (TH) Shirts were more expensive compared to the last time I bought and decided to buy some other brand (Joseph Abboud). For home and madam was vexed that I could have at least mix match by getting some TH.

About 2 months later, we went to the mall and madam packed a few TH shirts. I looked at her and laughed because for her profession, she wears a coat on her shirt at work.

One thing though, she encourages me to spend on myself too but I guess I don't know how to but I keep trying. One thing I spend on though is food since I do the major grocery shopping most times and will cook whatever I want to eat. For me, food makes me happy.

Lest I forget, we contribute 95% of our earnings, I draft the budget and we sit together to ensure it is reasonable and she manages the savings .

Acidosis:
The thread reads as if you are blaming his wife and four children for his death... It doesn't make sense to advise a married man with four children to prioritise his own interests above all others, including the kids no one begged him to raise.

It is better to warn men against having children or even marrying.

At the end of the day, most of us will die for our personal interests. He wanted a certain lifestyle and standard of living and he went for it. It has nothing to do with his children. Many kids born in slums turn out fine. Na you want standard, and it's totally fine to die for what you believe in.

Abeg o.

His post clearly said the man took loans to meet a standard. Doesn't seem like his wife persuaded him. However, I do agree that men should take care of their health and themselves. I am an advocate of 2kids. I don't think a middle class home even in the 90s could afford 4 kids and it is worse now that middle class has been stylishly eradicated. Most importantly, a wife that s or at least knows to manage the available resources.

Bobodee09:


He was a well to do man . He had those kids when things were good.

We could ever imagine things will go this bad 10yrs ago.

You came blame anyone who got married 2010 who has 3-4kids. Things was good then

From 2010 to 2025, one's financial status can deteriorate significantly. Just one of Tinubu's poorly thought-out policy, like the subsidy removal announcement has harmed many families' ability to live a decent life.

The man did nothing wrong by hustling till he died. His family is not responsible for his death. He died for what he believed in: providing the best for his children. There was nothing else he could have done in that situation other than become a deadbeat dad or a criminal group like the APC. Neither of the two options is appropriate for a sane, responsible man.

ibechris:
Na men dey like to suffer.

When u are in your 20's start early and awake ur investment mindset.

If u can do this early enough,at your 40's ur ive income should be enough to take care of your family expenses while u continue to grind with life.

I learnt this technique at an early age...not from my father but from someone whom I lived with years back.

Example is. If u have 30million,invest it for one year,use the proceed to settle all family expenses for one year,after that u can rest and be happy. Not all the time,waiting for salaries that isn't enough.

May his soul rest in peace and may this serve as a lesson for all our able young men especially our teenagers.

For those who may not find this feasible,this theory is working for me and u can always adjust it to suit ur figures especially if u think the figure is too high. na advice ooooooh.

Spoken like someone who does not live in present day Nigeria. This advice will not work for most people. Where you wan see 30 million?

Bobodee09:
This advise goes especially to married men and men in general.

Don't put yourself under unnecessary pressure or take up loans to maintain a certain lifestyle.

I just lost an area senior bros this morning, the news didn't come as shock cos he has been in the hospital for a while and his BP refused to come down.

He is man in his late 40's married with 4 kids. This man was under alot of pressure to meet end means, he took up too many loans just to maintain his living standards to please his family.

The last time I visited him in general I also checked my BP and it was very high, I was also under pressure myself to meet target.
When I got home I promised myself I wont die young to please anyone.
I will do my best and leave the rest cos at the end no one really care all they want to do is take from you as a man.

Married men enjoy yourself, take care of yourself, buy what you want. You can't be working everyday and be suffering to please your wife and kids.

The men who die young are the ones who always labour and don't take care of themselves, you see men who only provide what they have and take care of themselves they live longer.

We are in this mess together trust me....those people you think are doing better have alot of loans on their neck. So don't let anyone push you by comparing you to them.

If what you provide isnt enough or appreciated tell your wife to also provide or take her leave.

this is very true, something I have to adopt into my life this year, whatever I cannot afford I won't bother also I'll be taking retreats more to refresh myself, no more daddy must be at home every time.

Bobodee09:

Is so bad that has a married man you can't even buy yourself new wears.

Throughout last year I couldn't get myself a new set of jeans tro even tho I needed it badly despite having the money.
All the money I made last year 90% when into paying bills and household expenses.
It so crazy how you has a man you will have over 200k in your acc and you be scared to even buy yourself something of 10k cos of fear of the unknown.
In all of this my wife and kids still has many clothes they haven't worn I paid for you.

Last weekend my wife bought herself over 10 new shirt and when I saw it I reminded her how I couldn't even buy myself new jean....she told me nah me no wan buy nah.
It really hurt me cos whatever money I make the family expenses come first before my own personal needs but it isn't same for women.

I just feel marriage is design for men to suffer honestly.
People just taking from you and no one really care about what you need.

,

Over 200k you said??


Sir, I dey run millions, I swear I couldn't buy myself just a pair of Jean tro👖 or even a sandal throughout last year.

Acidosis:


From 2010 to 2025, one's financial status can deteriorate significantly. Just one of Tinubu's poorly thought-out policy, like the subsidy removal announcement has harmed many families' ability to save for a rainy day, and it appears that the rain is even getting harder by the day.

The man did nothing wrong by hustling till he died. His family is not responsible for his death. He died for what he believed in: providing the best for his children. There was nothing else he could have done in that situation other than become a deadbeat dad or a criminal group like the APC. Neither of the two options is appropriate for a sane, responsible man.

He had choice.
He put himself under unnecessary pressure by taking up loans.

See one thing have learnt is one needs to reduce standards when the going get tougher.

Not been able to meet up made him worried and his BP got bad.

Imagine taking up loans and he was spending it on fueling cars and generator etc just to maintain certain lifestyles . That was a bad move.

Bobodee09:

Is so bad that has a married man you can't even buy yourself new wears.

Throughout last year I couldn't get myself a new set of jeans tro even tho I needed it badly despite having the money.
All the money I made last year 90% when into paying bills and household expenses.
It so crazy how you has a man you will have over 200k in your acc and you be scared to even buy yourself something of 10k cos of fear of the unknown.
In all of this my wife and kids still has many clothes they haven't worn I paid for you.

Last weekend my wife bought herself over 10 new shirt and when I saw it I reminded her how I couldn't even buy myself new jean....she told me nah me no wan buy nah.
It really hurt me cos whatever money I make the family expenses come first before my own personal needs but it isn't same for women.

I just feel marriage is design for men to suffer honestly.
People just taking from you and no one really care about what you need.

seems this bros just dey xray my life sha

chris2face:

Am currently in this situation,mine got lots of cloths and I jokingly reminded her how I haven't been able to buy new clothes, she said same thing
Indeed marriage just favours women

So we many on this table.

Chai men dey suffer

Bobodee09:
This advise goes especially to married men and men in general.

Don't put yourself under unnecessary pressure or take up loans to maintain a certain lifestyle.

I just lost an area senior bros this morning, the news didn't come as shock cos he has been in the hospital for a while and his BP refused to come down.

He is man in his late 40's married with 4 kids. This man was under alot of pressure to meet end means, he took up too many loans just to maintain his living standards to please his family.

The last time I visited him in general I also checked my BP and it was very high, I was also under pressure myself to meet target.
When I got home I promised myself I wont die young to please anyone.
I will do my best and leave the rest cos at the end no one really care all they want to do is take from you as a man.

Married men enjoy yourself, take care of yourself, buy what you want. You can't be working everyday and be suffering to please your wife and kids.

The men who die young are the ones who always labour and don't take care of themselves, you see men who only provide what they have and take care of themselves they live longer.

We are in this mess together trust me....those people you think are doing better have alot of loans on their neck. So don't let anyone push you by comparing you to them.

If what you provide isnt enough or appreciated tell your wife to also provide or take her leave.

pray to have enough.family doesn’t take too much.I have been married for years.my house doesn’t not lack anything,I am also taking good care of myself and enjoying my outside life.Life is all about balancing.

Jorussia:
Thank u my brother.If u nor do fraud I wonder where u want take see #30m.This life na prayer go save person o.Nor be as we plan most times things take dey happen.

My brother,I still don't agree with u too.

Is not everyone that is into fraud.
At 27, I have had two vehicles I was using for taxi while still working in the bank at that time...some of my peers I knew back then who served in FCDA in Abuja are doing pretty well too.

Everything boils down to your risk appetite especially when it comes to investments. And there is no one way formular to wealth. Just do the right thing.

I won't say more than this.

tensazangetsu20:
The man is a fool for having 4 kids and men can control child birth. What happened to getting a vasectomy after having the first kid. Nigeria is only going to get harder. 2 kids is even a lot for an average Nigerian.

But I was insulted when I stated the same thing.

Our men think marriage is a place for enjoyment whereas it is all about responsibility, toiling and providing for everyone.

There has never been a time the economy of Nigeria has been good enough for the average person to adequately provide for 4 kids.

Absolutely! Not under Obasanjo, Jonathan, Buhari and now Tinubu. Any man who has four children only to complain of how bad the economy has himself to blame. No excuses!

Fidecoo:
,

Over 200k you said??


Sir, I dey run millions, I swear I couldn't buy myself just a pair of Jean tro👖 or even a sandal throughout last year.

Nawa ooo.

We married men are really going through alot 😔.

pocohantas:


Abeg o.

His post clearly said the man took loans to meet a standard. Doesn't seem like his wife persuaded him. However, I do agree that men should take care of their health and themselves. I am an advocate of 2kids. I don't think a middle class home even in the 90s could afford 4 kids and it is worse now that middle class has been stylishly eradicated. Most importantly, a wife that s or at least knows to manage the available resources.

Ahah...

Yeah, I read the loan part. I guess he was used to a style of living and wasn't ready to return to trenches, which is why he went for the loan. I wouldn't blame him too much, sha, knowing that many families have already lowered their spending, and returning to the village is simply not an option. It's an unfortunate situation.

Godwin4444:
y must u always show your stupid side on every thread, I know u have good sides y not endeavour to show that so people won't see u as a fool

U never bothered to care about what happened to his finances or probably he lost his job or lost his business u just come here to display madness

I wish there could b a technology where fools like u could b slapped through d phone, at least it will purge d internet of stupid people

Answer the damn question and stop attacking the messenger! When has the Nigerian economy been great for a Nigerian man to have four children?!

Bobodee09:

Is so bad that has a married man you can't even buy yourself new wears.

Throughout last year I couldn't get myself a new set of jeans tro even tho I needed it badly despite having the money.
All the money I made last year 90% when into paying bills and household expenses.
It so crazy how you has a man you will have over 200k in your acc and you be scared to even buy yourself something of 10k cos of fear of the unknown.
In all of this my wife and kids still has many clothes they haven't worn I paid for you.

Last weekend my wife bought herself over 10 new shirt and when I saw it I reminded her how I couldn't even buy myself new jean....she told me nah me no wan buy nah.
It really hurt me cos whatever money I make the family expenses come first before my own personal needs but it isn't same for women.

I just feel marriage is design for men to suffer honestly.
People just taking from you and no one really care about what you need.

change ur ways.na u Dey stress yourself like ur wife rightly said.Learn to balance life.i take care of my family and I take good care of myself.

highchief1:
pray to have enough.family doesn’t take too much.I have been married for years.my house doesn’t not lack anything,I am also taking good care of myself and enjoying my outside life.Life is all about balancing.

Well you part of the lucky ones out there.

Most of us need to really sweat it out to make the cash every month.

nams77:

Spoken like someone who does not live in present day Nigeria. This advice will not work for most people. Where you wan see 30 million?

the istration met us not as if we met them.

We should always be ready to prepare ahead.

Bobodee09:
This advise goes especially to married men and men in general.

Don't put yourself under unnecessary pressure or take up loans to maintain a certain lifestyle.

I just lost an area senior bros this morning, the news didn't come as shock cos he has been in the hospital for a while and his BP refused to come down.

He is man in his late 40's married with 4 kids. This man was under alot of pressure to meet end means, he took up too many loans just to maintain his living standards to please his family.

The last time I visited him in general I also checked my BP and it was very high, I was also under pressure myself to meet target.
When I got home I promised myself I wont die young to please anyone.
I will do my best and leave the rest cos at the end no one really care all they want to do is take from you as a man.

Married men enjoy yourself, take care of yourself, buy what you want. You can't be working everyday and be suffering to please your wife and kids.

The men who die young are the ones who always labour and don't take care of themselves, you see men who only provide what they have and take care of themselves they live longer.

We are in this mess together trust me....those people you think are doing better have alot of loans on their neck. So don't let anyone push you by comparing you to them.

If what you provide isnt enough or appreciated tell your wife to also provide or take her leave.

Any Man past 30 years must ensure he checks his BP regularly(I checked my own daily almost every morning)
Also do regular health check up and when you are not feeling fine. See your doctor.

Not just that. Avoid stress and overworking oneself. Learn how to manage your work /life balance.
Time for work/time to relax. Eat healthyly, exercise, sleep well and avoid riotous living. Also enjoy sex with your madam.
Na only this Life you get. So use it well

You will do yourself good.

marlow1962:
Nigerian marriages has centered everything on the man, from the very first top important down to the least important, it's the man responsibility to do it. Sometimes it makes me wonder why do many women blow up like nuclear explosion, but the man is looking no different from a homeless person?

Enjoy yourself the little way you can, do your best the little way you can for your family and leave life to take care of the rest. Too many responsibilities and baggages is why many men just fall down and die. Nobody is coming to save the man, the man has limited options in life, so why not enjoy the little you have when you're alive.

It is the Nigerian culture - the average Nigerian man wants to be in total control of affairs in the house. So, since the man wants total control, he has to spend to express that power. OTOH, the women like it regardless of the rants by so-called modern women.

Una go get sense last-last...

Nobody go tell una....