NewStats: 3,264,559 , 8,184,100 topics. Date: Wednesday, 11 June 2025 at 02:30 PM b585x

Growing up, my mother did a lot of terrible things to me even till I became an adult. I'm 40 now and she's aged.

She's trying to be kind to me now and I've forgiven her or so I thought. My life didn't turn out well the way I wanted because of her curse and evil mind towards me.

She regrets everything now and I have moved on but the memories fail to leave me. I've tried as much as possible to forget those things but I can't and each time I them I feel this rage inside of me.

Ammmy:
Growing up, my mother did a lot of terrible things to me even till I became an adult. I'm 40 now and she's aged. She's trying to be kind to me now and I've forgiven her or so I thought. My life didn't turn out well the way I wanted because of her curse and evil mind towards me. She regrets everything now and I have moved on but the memories fail to leave me. I've tried as much as possible to forget those things but I can't and each time I them I feel this rage inside of me

Pray for her...u will reach peace after a while when ur prayer becomes genuine

See just live your life the best way you can, you are not the only one with a rough childhood.

Ammmy:
■ Growing up, my mother did a lot of terrible things to me even till I became an adult. I'm 40 now and she's aged. She's trying to be kind to me now and I've forgiven her or so I thought. My life didn't turn out well the way I wanted because of her curse and evil mind towards me. She regrets everything now and I have moved on but the memories fail to leave me. I've tried as much as possible to forget those things but I can't and each time I them I feel this rage inside of me

You clearly suffered emotional abuse from your mother growing up is to blame for why your life did not turn out the way you would have preferred? I suggest you at least seek mental health counseling to at least help you work through all of those emotional scars you still carry with you and maybe also help you and your mother build a better relationship to benefit you both.

advanceDNA:
■ Pray for her...u will reach peace after a while when ur prayer becomes genuine

Stop lying to him!

Pussyisgud:
See just live your life the best way you can, you are not the only one with a rough childhood.

So because he is not the only one with a rough childhood, he should do nothing at all about the hurt and rage he feels about it all?

Pussyisgud:
See just live your life the best way you can, you are not the only one with a rough childhood.

Bro, you said it all! where we wan start from? where? just where na? mothers believed being super strict was the best approach to raising a disciplined child. It was particularly worse if you were a male child and the first! their misconception was that if they got it wrong with you as first child, others (your younger siblings) will follow suit! Alas they were wrong! They'll brag about beating you till you get traumatized with signs of physical scars written all over you and go ahead to achieve it. Neighbours then will wonder if you're truly her child or not! But it's all in the past now, fogerrit bro! na tough luv! If some of us tell you our experience, you'll delete this your thread o! So just put all that behind you, smile about it when you , thank God for keeping you, and pray for them! Just shrug it all off, and move on!

Meet her to undo those curses now but thank God it wasn't ur Dad that cursed u.

U for dey cry by now.


In all just dust off and restart ur life.

Kampack:
■ Bro, you said it all! where we wan start from? where? just where na? mothers believed being super strict was the best approach to raising a disciplined child. It was particularly worse if you were a male child and the first! their misconception was that if they got it wrong with you as first child, others (your younger siblings) will follow suit! Alas they were wrong! They'll brag about beating you till you get traumatized with signs of physical scars written all over you and go ahead to achieve it. Neighbours then will wonder if you're truly her child or not! But it's all in the past now, fogerrit bro! na tough luv! If some of us tell you our experience, you'll delete this your thread o! So just put all that behind you, smile about it when you , thank God for keeping you, and pray for them! Just shrug it all off, and move on!

OP is a 40-year-old man whose past still haunts him like a ghost that don't seem to ever die, yet here you are telling him,"it's all in the past now, fogerrit bro! na tough luv!"? Are you people for real? Aren't you doing to him the same thing those who abused him did which is to try to brush aside his pain?

Love her and forget about the past. Good things are coming your way

I don’t know what to do to overcome the pain in your heart but I know that you can’t forget it. You will think of it less frequently as time goes by, probably, so maybe for now you could just try to avoid what triggers it as much as possible.

Anger is a powerful emotion and often sadness in disguise. Maybe it’s helpful to take it from there. Allow yourself to cry over what happened to you. Tears will wash away some of the pain.

May you heal from it all and make peace with the past for it can’t be changed.

Just let go and move on my dear.

I am so sorry about all you had to go through; it’s a truly awful experience.
I pray you find peace.
🫂

Kobojunkie:
OP is a 40-year-old man whose past still haunts him like a ghost that don't seem to ever die, yet here you are telling him,"it's all in the past now, fogerrit bro! na tough luv!"? Are you people for real? Aren't you doing to him the same thing those who abused him did which is to try to brush aside his pain?

So what do you want him to do now? Rehabilitate him, encourage him to pursue retribution and vengeance, or file a suit against his mother for the childhood trauma? let's know your point!

Kampack:
■ So what do you want him to do now? Rehabilitate him, encourage him to pursue retribution and vengeance, or file a suit against his mother for the childhood trauma? let's know your point!

Counseling is available to all persons dealing with even emotional trauma from their pasts. It would be ill-advised, for OP or anyone in OP's shoes, to do nothing about the emotional scar from abuse as described by OP, an issue that has so far robbed him of a good quality of life according to his confession.

Kobojunkie:
Counseling is available to all persons dealing with even emotional trauma from their pasts. It would be ill-advised, for OP or anyone in OP's shoes, to do nothing about the emotional scar from abuse as described by OP, an issue that has so far robbed him of a good quality of life according to his confession.

Ok! Perhaps I (and many alike) also need this counselling o! Going by your suggestion, I bet many young men brought up in the 80s and 90s will require the counselling sessions! We were also the generation that suffered multiple flogging in schools (those of us that attended public schools can attest to this crude, brutal, and traumatibringing! we get to school to face frustrated teachers who met out corporal punishments with whips, koboko, kpankere, planks, etc. We get home and also face menacing scourges from parents who thought corporal punishments and bodily harm was the best way to bring up a child. Children of this generation (the indomie and post-indomie generation) don't realize how fortunate they are! I even heard they've abolished cane flogging in public secondary schools! bro, we saw shege! Perhaps, we (those now aged, I think between, 35-50) should all come out en masse and push for counselling/post-trauma rehabilitation not only from parents but from our old school bitter teachers o! All of them combine to cause the pain o! They flogged us for CMS Grammar school (all the 5 schools in the compound) so tey, several years after leaving secondary school I was still having nighmares! I saw one of the wicked teachers - a maths teacher on my street after I left school and I stopped short of challenging him! Walahi I for beat that guy up that day, but a voice just whispered silently to me saying "Leave him and let him be. Can't you see he's looking miserable already?" I left the miserable looking b*stard o jaare, before I kee person!

I was in JSS1 when the hopeless maths teacher arbitrarily requested the entire overcrowded class to pay 10kobo to climb on a rickety weighing machine he brought from "God knows where'. They often devised mischievous extortionist tactics to make illegal money from students back then. I hadn't 10kobo to pay him (or perhaps I forgot entirely about him), so on this fateful day, he barged in angrily into the classroom with frustration ( I guess his salary wasn't paid) and demanded the class monitor, as we used to call them then, to call out the names of those who hadn't paid the 10kobo! There were about 50 of us who hadn't paid! He commanded us to be on a straight line and fall flat on our bellies, then he brought out a white cane and floged, with all the strength he could muster, the living daylights out of all of us, targeting specifically our legs (the bare legs - the gastrocnemius muscle popularly called the yam leg muscle). My legs were sore and red, and more than 15 years later, I carried the visible scar from that flogging, even throughout my Univ days. It was only recently the scar cleared and became invisible. So, wetin I go do that man? There were many more of those types of incidents! In fact countless, as I have chosen to delete them all from my memory. Public school teachers of those days no get joy o! and the parents of many of us who attended public school those days were equally extremely strict!
I don forget those o jaare! The doctrine of an eye for an eye, will leave all of us blind! Op, abeg forget and move on! (apologies for this long epistle) I don carry the matter like gala OP sef!

Kampack:
■ Ok! Perhaps I (and many alike) also need this counselling o! Going by your suggestion, I bet many young men brought up in the 80s and 90s will require the counselling sessions! We were also the generation that suffered multiple flogging in schools (those of us that attended public schools can attest to this crude, brutal, and traumatibringing! we get to school to face frustrated teachers who met out corporal punishments with whips, koboko, kpankere, planks, etc. We get home and also face menacing scourges from parents who thought corporal punishments and bodily harm was the best way to bring up a child. Children of this generation (the indomie and post-indomie generation) don't realize how fortunate they are! I even heard they've abolished cane flogging in public secondary schools! bro, we saw shege! Perhaps, we (those now aged, I think between, 35-50) should all come out en masse and push for counselling/post-trauma rehabilitation not only from parents but from our old school bitter teachers o! All of them combine to cause the pain o! Them flog us for CMS grammar school so tey, several years after leaving secondary school I was still having nighmares! I saw one of the wicked teachers - a maths teacher on my street after I left school and I stopped short of challenging him! Walahi I for beat that guy up that day, but a voice just wishpered silently to me saying "leave him and let him be" cant you see he's looking miserable already! I leave o jaare, before I kee person!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Someone some years ago said that over 50% of Lagosians alone could benefit from mental health therapy of some sort. That is just Lagos there. Couple that with the general response to all that has been going on in the country for the last 9 years at least, and you get the sense that a majority of Nigerians have been so damaged in the way they assess the world and their conditions that they have been turned docile by it all.

Kobojunkie:
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Someone some years ago said that over 50% of Lagosians alone could benefit from mental health therapy of some sort. That is just Lagos there. Couple that with the general response to all that has been going on in the country for the last 9 years at least, and you get the sense that a majority of Nigerians have been so damaged in the way they assess the world and their conditions that they have been turned docile by it all.

Societal trauma bro, it's the cummulative effect of it all! On a more serious note, that country must certainly invest in mental health. See the way people drive na! I've long left the country, but TBH, a lot has to be done to rehabilitate the people. Pray for Nigeria!

Kobojunkie:
Stop lying to him!

Sigh!

This wèrèy again....your prescription don finish bah!!

As complicated as your problem may seem, the solution lies in doing just two things; Firstly, find a trusted person to talk to about your issue with your mum. If not a SHRINK, then, a trusted person who wouldn't judge you. Talking about our problems sometimes bring us relief.

Secondly, the OP should find a way to have a one on one conversation with his mum. Having a conversation with her is tantamount to confronting the problem.

Speak your mind to her and you'll have the kind of inner peace that you've never felt before. Yes, she may not apologize nor accept responsibility, but you'll definitely feel better afterwards and it will help your relationship with her.

I wish the OP a speedy recovery.

#Picks_tooth

Kobojunkie:
Stop lying to him!

No lies.

Pray dear OP. By your strength, and human nature, you cannot forgive such grievous soul injuries but the bible says forgiveness is divine. Confess to God that you cannot forgive your mom on your own and ask HIM for help. HE never turns away anyone of a tired and injured spirit.

Ammmy:
Growing up, my mother did a lot of terrible things to me even till I became an adult. I'm 40 now and she's aged. She's trying to be kind to me now and I've forgiven her or so I thought. My life didn't turn out well the way I wanted because of her curse and evil mind towards me. She regrets everything now and I have moved on but the memories fail to leave me. I've tried as much as possible to forget those things but I can't and each time I them I feel this rage inside of me

Aiyyo my nigga! I'm glad you've moved on. Maybe she was hard on you cuz she wanted you to succeed. Appreciate her kindness.

Women are very weird creatures.

Ammmy:
Growing up, my mother did a lot of terrible things to me even till I became an adult. I'm 40 now and she's aged. She's trying to be kind to me now and I've forgiven her or so I thought. My life didn't turn out well the way I wanted because of her curse and evil mind towards me. She regrets everything now and I have moved on but the memories fail to leave me. I've tried as much as possible to forget those things but I can't and each time I them I feel this rage inside of me

Pray for her, love her, and forget about the past. You will find peace after a while. Good things are coming your way.

@ kampack, you really made me laugh with that leg flogging, only God will forgive teachers of those days. One used to tell us to open our eyes and look directly into the scorching Sun, she always gave us such punishment when the weather was so hot.

Another one made us do frog jump for more than an hour, when I got home I couldn't even climb my staircase, the next morning I couldn't bend over to wash my legs in the bathroom, I carried that pain for over 3 days before I started experiencing some signs of relief.

Our parents didn't help at all, we couldn't even dare to complain about our teachers, the unlucky ones were those that their parents personally brought for a particular teacher for discipline because they were stubborn at home.

Kampack:


Bro, you said it all! where we wan start from? where? just where na? mothers believed being super strict was the best approach to raising a disciplined child. It was particularly worse if you were a male child and the first! their misconception was that if they got it wrong with you as first child, others (your younger siblings) will follow suit! Alas they were wrong! They'll brag about beating you till you get traumatized with signs of physical scars written all over you and go ahead to achieve it. Neighbours then will wonder if you're truly her child or not! But it's all in the past now, fogerrit bro! na tough luv! If some of us tell you our experience, you'll delete this your thread o! So just put all that behind you, smile about it when you , thank God for keeping you, and pray for them! Just shrug it all off, and move on!

op own is not even physical abuse i guess but curse. His mother often lay course on him growing up and at 40 he's not doing fine. He probably felt his mother curses is responsible for it

Ammmy:
Growing up, my mother did a lot of terrible things to me even till I became an adult. I'm 40 now and she's aged. She's trying to be kind to me now and I've forgiven her or so I thought. My life didn't turn out well the way I wanted because of her curse and evil mind towards me. She regrets everything now and I have moved on but the memories fail to leave me. I've tried as much as possible to forget those things but I can't and each time I them I feel this rage inside of me

Go to therapy to learn to let go of that rage. It's not a simple thing to do but with help and practice you can let go.

advanceDNA:


Pray for her...u will reach peace after a while when ur prayer becomes genuine

Can you help with the prayer points please. 🥴

omooba969:


Can you help with the prayer points please. 🥴

Do unto others what you want them to do unto you......pray the kinda prayer u would want someone to pray for you...

. It's not hard when u are not trolling

Xscape1993:
Just let go and move on my dear.

I didn't know it's that easy. 😁

Insensitive people everywhere! 😒

advanceDNA:


Do unto others what you want them to do unto you......pray the kinda prayer u would want someone to pray for you...

. It's not hard when u are not trolling

Your comment shows how insensitive and incoherent you are, and when you couldn't communicate, you threw up the trolling card.

You Nigerians really deserve a slot on Netflix. 🙂

omooba969:


Your comment shows how insensitive and incoherent you are, and when you couldn't communicate, you threw up the trolling card.

You Nigerians really deserve a slot on Netflix. 🙂

Sigh.....
How am I insensitive?? Please explain??
Incoherent?? Are u sure thats the word u want to use or u don't just understand my comment
Or context??

I couldn't communicate?? Lol....this is funny.. u asked me for prayer point and I told u to do what u would expect others to do to you... How is that being insensitive or couldn't communicate??

Prayer is not hard... asking my for prayer point when u can pray the prayers u would want someone else to prayer for you is why I said u were trolling....

Nairaland is tiring ...u will comment and still have to explain ur comment...

OP, Go to a typical church and you will find that all the people there are just as damaged as you are only many of them have learned to pretend well, all so they can say God is working on them .

If you truly want to get rid of the problem, you need to get counseling from a professional therapist to help your properly work through those scars you have been carrying around with you. It is better to start working on it now than continue kicking that can down the road as you have up until now.