NewStats: 3,265,054 , 8,185,451 topics. Date: Friday, 13 June 2025 at 09:36 AM 675g9

Most Nigerian men are not raised on love are transactional and not capable of really loving. Who love help may God lead you to find a partner who is truly committed to you. You got her back and she got yours. The one wey people know say you can’t talk bad about her partner and she go and contribute.

What benefit most of una no get anything now but are work in progress. A woman needs to make sure say her man is showing promise not a lazy and irresponsible person even in his small beginnings.

Nobody desires or should willingly go into a union that might lead to poverty.

Offpoint1:

Read my comment again slowly... Summary is ONLY MEN LOVE, women are in for benefits.

Marriage is good


But


Not do or die INSTITUTION


Becos


Mr MONEY involved.

ForUrgentSale:
I've removed every thought of marriage or having kids from my mind. I just want to live whatever time I have left and leave this wicked world. I don't care about legacies anymore

Be calming down. This is deep!

Chill, you hear?

Solcampbell:


Bro, how do I go about this?

I'll be 30 next year and I just got ission to study medicine and surgery in a Fed. University after completing my studies some five years ago.

That means I'll be a doctor in the next seven years, all things been equal, (in the absence of strikes and all). I'll be around 37 years at the time.



Since the course is very demanding and don't require distractions and also couple with the fact that I'm not that financially bouyant. Also considering the kind of young ladies we have today, it's difficult to find a lady whose understanding and ive. And I need all the focus and attention I could get while pursuing my dream. Initially I've been thinking of getting married in my level two or three, but I'm now begining to have serious second thoughts and postpone marriage till I finish my program.

Buuuutttt! I really love children!

And I think seven years is too long a wait to have my own.

Even though na just one pikin i get for now from now till when i graduate, I swear e go sweet me die!

Infact my child will give me more motivation to continue to push harder no matter the obstacles towards the realisation of my dreams, since I'm doing the family I'll raise in the future.

But the problem is I don't even have a girlfriend. Infact, I'm still a virgin.


I live in a very conservative society ( core north). You can't just be moving around or dating a girl or sleeping with her. You must marry her first.

As the matter be like this, I no get money for marriage talk more of getting stuck with a lady whose not working or running a business, a lady who will sit at home waiting for the man to fulfil all her financial needs, even
though na Maggi she wan buy. ( Most northern women are like this)


But I can definitely take care of one or two kids while I continue schooling. I have a side hustle ( freelance writing). It is from this hustle that I've been saving for my studies and I believe from it I can still provide for my kid from now till the next seven years.

Abeg Boss, you know where I fit find such ladies or how I can be connected to such ladies that her and her parents can agree to such an arrangement even though she lives in another state in the south?
I"m a man that keeps to my word and I'll definitely not abandon my responsibilities to her.

Infact, if i get a really good lady that really did a good job in raising my kid , I wouldn't hesitate to marry her after graduation from med. school

PS. I'm not an Hausa man, I'm an Edo Muslim who's very liberal.

In medical school? Bro, face your studies squarely, no distraction.

The fact is, how many women will welcome that kinda low standard beginning this modern days when yahoo boys full everywhere dey impress. They will be seeing their struggling husband as a bad luck and a nuisance. Some mothers even go as far as to force their under aged children to go learn in hk.

I regret evening getting married... Mine didn't last 1 year and it's just a waste of money

Cute9gerian:
It’s because marriage today especially monogamy is a scam.Marriage will only make sense when polygamy is embraced just the way our ancestors practiced it.

You never take care of one woman and her children finish nah multiple women with their children you wan take care of inside this economy. How does this your comment make sense to you

ForUrgentSale:
I've removed every thought of marriage or having kids from my mind. I just want to live whatever time I have left and leave this wicked world. I don't care about legacies anymore

Is there a particular reason you feel this way if you don't mind me asking?

There is nobody that has nothing. It's an exergeration.

ForUrgentSale:
I've removed every thought of marriage or having kids from my mind. I just want to live whatever time I have left and leave this wicked world. I don't care about legacies anymore

Like for real... will dat legacy bring u back to life!!!

seunoladele:


© Seun Oladele, 2024.
[email protected]
Facebook: Seun Oladele

this marriage of a thing have expired no more love again everybody is after money, me I use my money to nourish my self I don't bother about married or having kids because my country has turn to hell

Solcampbell:


Bro, how do I go about this?

I'll be 30 next year and I just got ission to study medicine and surgery in a Fed. University after completing my studies some five years ago.

That means I'll be a doctor in the next seven years, all things been equal, (in the absence of strikes and all). I'll be around 37 years at the time.



Since the course is very demanding and don't require distractions and also couple with the fact that I'm not that financially bouyant. Also considering the kind of young ladies we have today, it's difficult to find a lady whose understanding and ive. And I need all the focus and attention I could get while pursuing my dream. Initially I've been thinking of getting married in my level two or three, but I'm now begining to have serious second thoughts and postpone marriage till I finish my program.

Buuuutttt! I really love children!

And I think seven years is too long a wait to have my own.

Even though na just one pikin i get for now from now till when i graduate, I swear e go sweet me die!

Infact my child will give me more motivation to continue to push harder no matter the obstacles towards the realisation of my dreams, since I'm doing the family I'll raise in the future.

But the problem is I don't even have a girlfriend. Infact, I'm still a virgin.


I live in a very conservative society ( core north). You can't just be moving around or dating a girl or sleeping with her. You must marry her first.

As the matter be like this, I no get money for marriage talk more of getting stuck with a lady whose not working or running a business, a lady who will sit at home waiting for the man to fulfil all her financial needs, even
though na Maggi she wan buy. ( Most northern women are like this)


But I can definitely take care of one or two kids while I continue schooling. I have a side hustle ( freelance writing). It is from this hustle that I've been saving for my studies and I believe from it I can still provide for my kid from now till the next seven years.

Abeg Boss, you know where I fit find such ladies or how I can be connected to such ladies that her and her parents can agree to such an arrangement even though she lives in another state in the south?
I"m a man that keeps to my word and I'll definitely not abandon my responsibilities to her.

Infact, if i get a really good lady that really did a good job in raising my kid , I wouldn't hesitate to marry her after graduation from med. school

PS. I'm not an Hausa man, I'm an Edo Muslim who's very liberal.

Do not take that guy for his words. It does not work that way. You can't just impregnate a woman just like that besides a woman can only keep a pregnancy she wants to keep if and only if she wants to keep it for you and not because you think you outsmarted her by impregnating her.
As for you, you need to build a relationship first and win your woman's heart over before she can go into that with you. She has to have the capacity to understand and persevere in order to work things with you because she's the sole determinant of the success of your plan.
Nevertheless, I want to ask for link to these freelance writing jobs. If you can help with any, I will appreciate

jeff1993:
To any young man out there please dont listen to this stupid advice!!!

If any girl tells u that let's marry first and we will manage together, my GUY FLEE!!!! FLEE with all your might cos na marriage be her ultimate. After marriage then u will see her true color.

If as a man u dont have money, just look for a lady and impregnate her and make her a baby mama and try to take care of your child.

Ladies will still require you to have money before they give you to be your baby mama

Haydens:
Marriage in this generation is a scam. Every woman is always using a man in one way or the other if the man is not wise, check it out, if she's not using you as an attention giver she's using u as an emotional tampon or she's using you as a financial mugu or shes keeping you incase if her now boyfriend doesn't later marry her, or she's keeping you as her second option or she's using you to through life e.g exam success, promotion, finances or she's keeping you as a free food man especially when she's hungry then she'll you or she's keeping you as her status viewer e.t.c the list goes on and on.

If you know about women nature you won't like them neither will you hate them rather you'll remain indifference. They don't love rather they are pure opportunists. Every women that have existed on this planet earth are opportunists, they can't love and dont know how to do it. What's happening in the west gives a perfect definition of how women are opportunists i.e marry a rich man or a celebrity then divorce him in a few months or years then claim half of his properties and monthly allowance that she didn't suffer with him for when he was struggling.

The only love that women have is SELFISH-LOVE.


Finally, You can't be wise and be in love at the same time.

lol...This made me laugh, but it is kinda true to a degree.

Haydens:
Marriage in this generation is a scam. Every woman is always using a man in one way or the other if the man is not wise, check it out, if she's not using you as an attention giver she's using u as an emotional tampon or she's using you as a financial mugu or shes keeping you incase if her now boyfriend doesn't later marry her, or she's keeping you as her second option or she's using you to through life e.g exam success, promotion, finances or she's keeping you as a free food man especially when she's hungry then she'll you or she's keeping you as her status viewer e.t.c the list goes on and on.

If you know about women nature you won't like them neither will you hate them rather you'll remain indifference. They don't love rather they are pure opportunists. Every women that have existed on this planet earth are opportunists, they can't love and dont know how to do it. What's happening in the west gives a perfect definition of how women are opportunists i.e marry a rich man or a celebrity then divorce him in a few months or years then claim half of his properties and monthly allowance that she didn't suffer with him for when he was struggling.

The only love that women have is SELFISH-LOVE.


Finally, You can't be wise and be in love at the same time.

you're right

Joybeau:


You never take care of one woman and her children finish nah multiple women with their children you wan take care of inside this economy. How does this your comment make sense to you

That you can’t take care of more than one woman doesn’t mean I can’t. Stop projecting your situation unto me

Humans may wish to appreciate the opinion of marriage being a subject matter, a secondary purpose. The real intent of your creation is to perform a missionary duty on earth. Overtime, we get misguided - place the least important over the most important on a scale of preference of life.

If we master concentration of mind on purpose, the above subject matter will not be of much significance. Unfortunately, the flesh is a stronger force in the which it overrides our true purpose and identity. We may not know our purpose, but we deeply care to know much about our marriage partners and the marital status in the future - as this serves a greater importance to us than our reason for being.

Procreation is a secondary purpose performed through a marital union or through adventure. The laws either encourage or prohibit but - based on the the privilege of free will, we may choose either options that fulfills this purpose.

Therefore, we have no reason to worry about marriage for your choice determines your happiness.

Nonsense ladies everywhere, many of us are buoyant financially to marry, but yawo yawo ladies everywhere feminist, Tonto dike, senior olosho here and there

ForUrgentSale:
I've removed every thought of marriage or having kids from my mind. I just want to live whatever time I have left and leave this wicked world. I don't care about legacies anymore

Dang! This hits hard 😞

DevilsEqual:
How do you ask a Nigerian lady out when you have nothing?



Women these days have evolved beyond that. If you no get money, you no go fit even meet the kinda girl wey you like sef...Life go dey throw rubbish women with terrible looks come your way

I get the message tho. And yea, we no dey use money run woman

You dn answer am finish 😂😂😂😂 💯💯💯

ForUrgentSale:
I've removed every thought of marriage or having kids from my mind. I just want to live whatever time I have left and leave this wicked world. I don't care about legacies anymore

That is good. Giving birth is nothing. The world is a wicked world, so no need to bring any kids to suffer again. Those who want to be breeding should continue.

Emagy:
this marriage of a thing have expired no more love again everybody is after money, me I use my money to nourish my self I don't bother about married or having kids because my country has turn to hell

Bringing kids to this country of insecurities na wickedness base on my own opinions.

ForUrgentSale:
I've removed every thought of marriage or having kids from my mind. I just want to live whatever time I have left and leave this wicked world. I don't care about legacies anymore

hmm feel same sometimes too,what up with you bro

ednut1:
The economy is so bad that rich and comfortable are having 3-4 side chicks . While the average man without money or looks stick to olosho, masturbation or naive young girls 😭

are sidechicks not olosho

Hotspurs:
are sidechicks not olosho

no and yes

he say no and yes... dey play...

ednut1:
no and yes

Solcampbell:

se is very demanding and don't require distractions and also couple with the fact that I'm not that financially bouyant. Also considering the kind of young ladies we have today, it's difficult to find a lady whose understanding and ive. And I need all the focus and attention I could get while pursuing my dream. Initially I've been thinking of getting married in my level two or three, but I'm now begining to have serio whose not working or running a business, a lady who will sit at home waiting for the man to fulfil all her financial needs, even though na Maggi she wan buy. ( Most northern women are like this)
But I can definitely take care of one or two kids while I continue schooling. I have a side hustle ( freelance writing). It is from this hustle that I've been saving for my studies and I believe from it I can still provide for my kid from now till the next seven years.


PS. I'm not an Hausa man, I'm an Edo Muslim who's very liberal.

I am quite interested in your case as life has made me see things from both sides of the divide in Nigeria - the haves and the haves not. First, I would advise you - man-to-man - to focus on your medical program as it is very demanding intellectually, financially and otherwise. You need to be prepared for the journey ahead it will take your entire body and soul. Your financial stability as a man is extremely important in how you are seen in society. Good thing you are studying a course with almost guaranteed employment, especially in the north. So, age does not really matter.

As for marriage and children, as much as these things are good in life, in today's world, money is extremely useful to enjoy them. It would be hard to navigate your medical program, wife and children without a consistent flow of income especially at a mature age. You might be worried about when you graduate centris-paribus, but I don't see any worry in that as your speciality is future-proof regardless of age and you will always find a much younger woman to pair with due to location. Most importantly, have fewer children so you have the time to cater for them adequately. No go born plenty children o. As for location, not only due to religious compatibility but cultural reasons as well, I strongly recommend that you focus on the northern region for a wife. You will have a hard time adjusting to the requests and life of a lady from the south, Christian or Muslim. Since you are liberal, how about Northern Christians?

As for the bolded text, do Northern Christian women behave like that with their men? That is, dem dey wait for the man to reach house before dem buy maggi?

Gerrard59:

I am quite interested in your case as life has made me see things from both sides of the divide in Nigeria - the haves and the haves not. First, I would advise you - man-to-man - to focus on your medical program as it is very demanding intellectually, financially and otherwise. You need to be prepared for the journey ahead it will take your entire body and soul. Your financial stability as a man is extremely important in how you are seen in society. Good thing you are studying a course with almost guaranteed employment, especially in the north. So, age does not really matter.

As for marriage and children, as much as these things are good in life, in today's world, money is extremely useful to enjoy them. It would be hard to navigate your medical program, wife and children without a consistent flow of income especially at a mature age. You might be worried about when you graduate centris-paribus, but I don't see any worry in that as your speciality is future-proof regardless of age and you will always find a much younger woman to pair with due to location. Most importantly, have fewer children so you have the time to cater for them adequately. No go born plenty children o. As for location, not only due to religious compatibility but cultural reasons as well, I strongly recommend that you focus on the northern region for a wife. You will have a hard time adjusting to the requests and life of a lady from the south, Christian or Muslim. Since you are liberal, how about Northern Christians?

As for the bolded text, do Northern Christian women behave like that with their men? That is, dem dey wait for the man to reach house before dem buy maggi?

I reflected on all what you said yesterday, sir. And honestly the picture has become clearer for me.

From all what you said, I would make sure I pair up with a lady who has something doing, even though she's a secondary school teacher or a petty trader. Or a lady who have completed or about to complete are tertiary education.

I would also consider the other option as per looking out for a northern non Muslim. Atleast thier parents allow them to work as they search for a partner.

Thanks alot for this advise, Boss.

Solcampbell:


Bro, how do I go about this?

I'll be 30 next year and I just got ission to study medicine and surgery in a Fed. University after completing my studies some five years ago.

That means I'll be a doctor in the next seven years, all things been equal, (in the absence of strikes and all). I'll be around 37 years at the time.



Since the course is very demanding and don't require distractions and also couple with the fact that I'm not that financially bouyant. Also considering the kind of young ladies we have today, it's difficult to find a lady whose understanding and ive. And I need all the focus and attention I could get while pursuing my dream. Initially I've been thinking of getting married in my level two or three, but I'm now begining to have serious second thoughts and postpone marriage till I finish my program.

Buuuutttt! I really love children!

And I think seven years is too long a wait to have my own.

Even though na just one pikin i get for now from now till when i graduate, I swear e go sweet me die!

Infact my child will give me more motivation to continue to push harder no matter the obstacles towards the realisation of my dreams, since I'm doing the family I'll raise in the future.

But the problem is I don't even have a girlfriend. Infact, I'm still a virgin.


I live in a very conservative society ( core north). You can't just be moving around or dating a girl or sleeping with her. You must marry her first.

As the matter be like this, I no get money for marriage talk more of getting stuck with a lady whose not working or running a business, a lady who will sit at home waiting for the man to fulfil all her financial needs, even
though na Maggi she wan buy. ( Most northern women are like this)


But I can definitely take care of one or two kids while I continue schooling. I have a side hustle ( freelance writing). It is from this hustle that I've been saving for my studies and I believe from it I can still provide for my kid from now till the next seven years.

Abeg Boss, you know where I fit find such ladies or how I can be connected to such ladies that her and her parents can agree to such an arrangement even though she lives in another state in the south?
I"m a man that keeps to my word and I'll definitely not abandon my responsibilities to her.

Infact, if i get a really good lady that really did a good job in raising my kid , I wouldn't hesitate to marry her after graduation from med. school

PS. I'm not an Hausa man, I'm an Edo Muslim who's very liberal.

If you know what's good for you, perish that marriage thought for now and concentrate on your studies. The pressure in medical school in Nigeria is not something you can combine with having a family, unless you want to get booted out of medical school.

You can marry and have your kids when you graduate

Jman06:
If you know what's good for you, perish that marriage thought for now and concentrate on your studies. The pressure in medical school in Nigeria is not something you can combine with having a family, unless you want to get booted out of medical school.

You can marry and have your kids when you graduate

I know, bro. And that's what why I'm considering having a kid while in school before getting married. Note, I'm more fascinated in having a child than getting married now A son or a daughter would really serve a big motivation to strive harder to achieve my goals.

I find the idea of waiting after seven years to have a kid quite uncomfortable

So long as the mother of the child have something's doing, no matter how little. I'll be able to contributed my own quota no doubt.


After graduation, we could get married. Afterall, one of the reasons why I'm going back to study medicine is to create a brighter future for the family that would come from me.

The dilemma is that I don't even have a girlfriend whom I should have developed a meaningful relationship with. I don't even have any female friends because I'm deeply introverted.

Solcampbell:
I reflected on all what you said yesterday, sir. And honestly the picture has become clearer for me. From all what you said, I would make sure I pair up with a lady who has something doing, even though she's a secondary school teacher or a petty trader. Or a lady who have completed or about to complete are tertiary education.

I would also consider the other option as per looking out for a northern non Muslim. Atleast thier parents allow them to work as they search for a partner. Thanks alot for this advise, Boss.

My pleasure.
Based on the bold, do you mean that Northern Muslim women or their parents don't work or have the interest to work?

What kind of jobs, skilled and semi-skilled, do Northern Christian women partake in?

---

Yes, pair with a lady who has something going for her. Na small small people dey build a financial stable home.

Solcampbell:


a lady who will sit at home waiting for the man to fulfil all her financial needs, even
though na Maggi she wan buy. ( Most northern women are like this

The bold doesn't apply to northern women alone. Most of my friends wives are like this, the thing really made me to have a negative view about marriage. Funny thing is all these women are working, but will never buy even a match box with their own money. Women are naturally selfish sha.