NewStats: 3,264,203 , 8,182,952 topics. Date: Tuesday, 10 June 2025 at 07:26 AM r1t33

[quote author=Tohsynetita1 post=131945163][/quote]
Don’t scatter your marriage, because what you stated, it’s likely your marriage scatter if you bring her abroad or leave her at home,
What you can be doing, you can be going their and coming here where she will be visiting, she can use 3 months there then come back here.
Following year, both of you could travel to another country for tour like a month, bring her Nigeria back for like 4 months, go their again to another country or state, go and have fun for like a month, bring her back for like 4 months, dey do like that throughout, but that will be good if children are in boarding school or In universities

I hope you have converted your money to dollars already.

If it's not a permanent resident or citizenship or a pathway that leads to it in a year/two max, I see no reason for you to go.

1. Nigeria is not that bad anyway. I see someone asking for the source of your wealth. Nigeria is probably the only country where you can afford the kind of money you have as cash-at-hand minus properties, without doing any real-impact business, even as a salary earner. Those are some of the perks of the unstructure in Naija. If you are earning in dollars at the moment with a dollar at 1,600 naira and almost no tax, you would save 5x of what an average abrodian would save. Just the instability of our currency alone, people make a lot of money from it. Even with all this fuel scarcity and refinery BS happening, people are making money from it. Some Nigerians with no meaningful business in Nigeria, can even buy a house at once even abroad just due to the unstructure in Naija. How many people abroad can do that?

2. If your money can get you citizenship by investment in a good country with a strong port, look into that route too. At the end of the day, the major reason to japa is to have a stronger port that can allow you to play in a global space when an opportunity comes knocking for you, your family, or your children.

3. Your wife being aggressive shows that you guys have a long way to go in conflict resolution. And there would be more conflict when you japa because you'd be poorer, you'd be doing your chores yourself, and you can no longer afford the luxury Naija offers that might have been helping you manage your marriage.

Thinktank02:
Now, if the concern is mainly that your kids get a good form of education, consider staying for a while in Nigeria while you monitor their progress. @OP, Abroad is wild, many parents do actually regret it if proper monitoring isn't available to guide and regulate the emotions of those kids especially during teen age when the hormones rage and peer influence is high.

Even parents who live with their wards sometimes lose control over them, as I know someone who can't even correct or talk to the child anymore. The ideology of the west encourages that the child should be allowed to form their own opinion and the fact that you can't actually discipline in a way that instil fear and respect in the child's mentality has made many of the children lose control and do as they please.

Good post you have there. Just to add, I don't understand this narrative that all of a sudden children who relocated abroad will obtain a quality education higher than while they were in Nigeria. Seeing OP's worth, maybe he could afford the top schools in the abroad, other than those schools, the children are better off in Nigeria. See here: https://nairaland.macsoftware.info/8184851/top-waec-scorers-2009-where#131568154
And yes, both parents need to be together in their children's formative years. It is extremely important.

OP mentioned amenities and opportunities. Amenities, I can understand. Opportunities, especially for someone who is well-to-do? I strongly doubt except it is the United States. Anywhere else and in particular the UK, I doubt the quality of economic opportunities they get there will sur the ones they would obtain in Nigeria judging from his networth.

imustsaymymindo:
I hope you have converted your money to dollars already.

If it's not a permanent resident or citizenship or a pathway that leads to it in a year/two max, I see no reason for you to go.

1. Nigeria is not that bad anyway. I see someone asking for the source of your wealth. Nigeria is probably the only country where you can afford the kind of money you have as cash-at-hand minus properties, without doing any real-impact business, even as a salary earner. Those are some of the perks of the unstructure in Naija. If you are earning in dollars at the moment with a dollar at 1,600 naira and almost no tax, you would save 5x of what an average abrodian would save. Just the instability of our currency alone, people make a lot of money from it. Even with all this fuel scarcity and refinery BS happening, people are making money from it. Some Nigerians with no meaningful business in Nigeria, can even buy a house at once even abroad just due to the unstructure in Naija. How many people abroad can do that?

Nothing beats earning in dollars while residing in Nigeria.

2. If your money can get you citizenship by investment in a good country with a strong port, look into that route too. At the end of the day, the major reason to japa is to have a stronger port that can allow you to play in a global space when an opportunity comes knocking for you, your family, or your children.

The best option and OP should look into the Grendanian option. Offers a path to permanent residency in the US. See here: https://www.henleyglobal.com/citizenship-investment/grenada This is a much better option than starting all over again in the abroad as a well-to-do married man. It is not like you are moving to a culturally/racially similar place as wealthy Chinese from Mainland China do when they move to Singapore and Japan. You are relocating to a different system entirely.

3. Your wife being aggressive shows that you guys have a long way to go in conflict resolution. And there would be more conflict when you japa because you'd be poorer, you'd be doing your chores yourself, and you can no longer afford the luxury Naija offers that might have been helping you manage your marriage.

The chores aspect is true as well. Certainly, his wife has domestic servants in Nigeria, which is difficult to replicate in the abroad. Many C-suite employees in the abroad cannot even afford a live-in domestic servant except the uber rich (not in naira o). The woman not accustomed to doing daily chores will now have to embark on them. She will get angrier—normal human feelings. One reason why highly skilled Indians move back home from the West, especially the US, is the availability of domestic servants. Most have stated their wives had to stay at home to cater for the children as they did not fancy childcare services.

essentialone:
My wife has some aggressive attitudes that are not okay

This answers the question of whether to relocate to a Western Country with your wife. If you do, you will become her slave. There are no certainties in life and you just have to go with your gut feeling as there are no right or wrong answers to life's issues. A friend will say - Nothing works.

Whatever you do, leave a sizeable portion of your Assets (especially liquid ones) ringfenced back in Nigeria in case your sojourn overseas shows you that the grass is not necessarily greener on the other side.

Gerrard59:

The best option and OP should look into the Grendanian option. Offers a path to permanent residency in the US. See here: https://www.henleyglobal.com/citizenship-investment/grenada This is a much better option than starting all over again in the abroad as a well-to-do married man. It is not like you are moving to a culturally/racially similar place as wealthy Chinese from Mainland China do when they move to Singapore and Japan. You are relocating to a different system entirely.

Thank you for this, bro.

Farfalla:


Why is divorce such a difficult option for some of you guys? Why stay in a marriage where you want to be away from your spouse as much as possible? What kind of marriage is that?

If he cannot even trust his wife enough to live with her anywhere in the world, why should he be in that marriage in the first place? Na by force?

The reason men stay in their abusive marriages is because men love women unconditionally in most case.
When a man marries a woman, he didn't get into that marriage casually, he makes a decisive stand and chooses to stay with the woman he married through thick and thin.

Women initiate 70% of divorce and move on quite quickly.
Men hardly get the they need after divorce, the blame is on him as a failed leader who cannot lead his home right.

So you see the man has most of the shame and blame for the failure of a home than the woman does.
I know a man whose marriage was dissolved by the wife, he didn't know my wife had knowledge to that information but whenever he sees her he talks as if they are still married.

Men don't love for fun, when they do marry, most men don't just bring a woman into thier house for cruise. They mean business.

A woman can marry because that's the available option at the time or marry because the man can provide. Once a better option shows up they jump ship or start moving crazy in the relationship.

The men have a lot of stakes in the relationship because the men have invested a lot into the relationship. Men pay bride price, sometimes train the woman, nourish and feed her for most part of the marriage. That's a huge investment. No matter how crazy the business is, many won't let go easily because their sweat is in the business.

That's why I encourage men to make their women invest heavily into the relationship so they won't just leave easily in times of difficulty.

Thinktank02:


The reason men stay in their abusive marriages is because men love women unconditionally in most case.
When a man marries a woman, he didn't get into that marriage casually, he makes a decisive stand and chooses to stay with the woman he married through thick and thin.

Women initiate 70% of divorce and move on quite quickly.
Men hardly get the they need after divorce, the blame is on him as a failed leader who cannot lead his home right.

So you see the man has most of the shame and blame for the failure of a home than the woman does.
I know a man whose marriage was dissolved by the wife, he didn't know my wife had knowledge to that information but whenever he sees her he talks as if they are still married.

Men don't love for fun, when they do marry, most men don't just bring a woman into thier house for cruise. They mean business.

A woman can marry because that's the available option at the time or marry because the man can provide. Once a better option shows up they jump ship or start moving crazy in the relationship.

The men have a lot of stakes in the relationship because the men have invested a lot into the relationship. Men pay bride price, sometimes train the woman, nourish and feed her for most part of the marriage. That's a huge investment. No matter how crazy the business is, many won't let go easily because their sweat is in the business.

That's why I encourage men to make their women invest heavily into the relationship so they won't just leave easily in times of difficulty.

Which unconditional love are you talking about? Puleeze!
Is the OP asking for advice on the best action to take in order to be away from a woman he loves unconditionally?

All his actions speak of a man who is fed up with his wife. From his write-up, he doesn't want to be around her at all.

HarunaWest:
Remain in Naija. Enrol your kids in a good school where they can get solid educational background.
If you already have a hard time handling her here in Nigeria don't dare take her abroad, I rinse and repeat,dont dare.
Stay Safe

I beg your pardon
Can you explain to me better?

Ayjay44:
do you mind if I asked what job u did to raise the money? Is it working as online entrepreneur or what exactly

I once was working at a place where I earn 100k monthly. But you know as e be for Naija, before month end. Money don finish. Then I stumbled on some online tips about compounding as a secret to patiently build wealth from nothing.

Since then, the thing disturb my mind. So I decided to try out some of all these online schemes to see if anyone can work, because I needed the fast fast cash to use hold body jare, and I no get time or liver for yahoo yahoo scam stuffs. Luckily, I learnt one or two ideas concerning the stock market. I say make I dey try am with small small money. The more I did it, the more I got addicted to it.

E wan be like Bet9ja but in a more calculated and matured way.
Let me give you a tip of how it can work. Having done some turn over with it for a while.

Na examples I go give you now.

If you had bought Ikeja Hotel when it was N1 with 1 million naira, and sold it off when it hit N10, your money don become 10 million naira.
If you invest that 10million for UBA bank when it was N10 and sold it off when it was N30 naira. Your money don become N30 million naira. If you use am buy Wema bank when it was around N3 and sold it off when it reach N6. Your money don become N60 million naira like that.
If you use that N60 million naira buy Oando when e dey around N6 and sell am off when e reach around N95, Your money don become N950 million naira like that. I go pause here.

This is just one aspect of the hustle. The smart angle. Others dey wey be stress work wey man dey use to raise small small funds just to hold body so as not to harvest your corn when e never mature to the point wey you dey target make e reach.

Is it easy and straightforward as I wrote it? Nope.
Possible? Yes
I dey do am? Definitely.
But na just example I give you as my fellow youth. But question na how long the person fit wait, because sometimes you fit buy one company make price start to go down. But give am time, e go later go up.
Na everybody fit do am? Nope.

But all in all, anyone wey you want do, try make you dey do only business or work or hustle wey you see Millionaires and billonaires dey do. With time, you go see why dem dey do am.

But all in all, na God make life and wisdom possible for us all.

E don 3 years, wey I jejely resign from any salary work. Unless I see the one wey dey pay wella. Or unless I finally relocate outside. Because na part of my plan. To earn more outside so to invest more. Plot a graph and you will see that in even 10 to 20 years, your 100k today can turn to a lot of funds for you. So long as you keep your head in the game, and avoid show off. I never too hold something for now. But at 9 figures, I know how I have come far from less than 50k as savings before. But if you tell my village people say I even get up to 1 million naira, dem go swear for you say you be liar.


No worry na disguise. Even my wife no know how much don dey now. But I don push her enter stock market too, make she too learn how to dey patient and build wealth slowly and gradually. And she likes it. But na that her aggressive mood swings and how it can backfire abroad, dey scare me. Because the last thing wey I need now, na distraction. Warren Buffet and Tony Elumelu na my mentors. I hope you were able to get some clues there.

Earthstorms:


Do you want to remain married?

If you want to be married in the actual sense of the word, then you have to live with your family at one location.

You can not be in one country while your family is in another country while claiming married.
People do those type of arrangements out of necessity, not what you should do if it can be avoided. From your comment you can afford to relocate with your family.

My advice is this
Discuss your fears with your wife.
In the discussion agree to a divorce if freedom abroad gets into her head.
Relocate to the country of your choice.
Respect your wife in line with the culture of the country you relocated to.
Make your wife earn a living in the new country, that way divorce settlement does not become a reason for her to ask for divorce.

Be prepared for a divorce if the marriage does not work out. No need forcing a bad relationship and no need staying away from your family in separate countries just because you are afraid of divorce.

Most importantly, ensure you earn more than your wife and be able to foot your bills. Many women find it hard to be submissive to a man that can not foot the bills.

Rubbish!
Make e slave for his wife? Wetin his wife go come do?

essentialone:


I once was working at a place where I earn 100k monthly. But you know as e be for Naija, before month end. Money don finish. Then I stumbled on some online tips about compounding as a secret to patiently build wealth from nothing.

Since then, the thing disturb my mind. So I decided to try out some of all these online schemes to see if anyone can work, because I needed the fast fast cash to use hold body jare, and I no get time or liver for yahoo yahoo scam stuffs. Luckily, I learnt one or two ideas concerning the stock market. I say make I dey try am with small small money. The more I did it, the more I got addicted to it.

E wan be like Bet9ja but in a more calculated and matured way.
Let me give you a tip of how it can work. Having done some turn over with it for a while.

Na examples I go give you now.

If you had bought Ikeja Hotel when it was N1 with 1 million naira, and sold it off when it hit N10, your money don become 10 million naira.
If you invest that 10million for UBA bank when it was N10 and sold it off when it was N30 naira. Your money don become N30 million naira. If you use am buy Wema bank when it was around N3 and sold it off when it reach N6. Your money don become N60 million naira like that.
If you use that N60 million naira buy Oando when e dey around N6 and sell am off when e reach around N95, Your money don become N950 million naira like that. I go pause here.

This is just one aspect of the hustle. The smart angle. Others dey wey be stress work wey man dey use to raise small small funds just to hold body so as not to harvest your corn when e never mature to the point wey you dey target make e reach.

Is it easy and straightforward as I wrote it? Nope.
Possible? Yes
I dey do am? Definitely.
But na just example I give you as my fellow youth. But question na how long the person fit wait, because sometimes you fit buy one company make price start to go down. But give am time, e go later go up.
Na everybody fit do am? Nope.

But all in all, anyone wey you want do, try make you dey do only business or work or hustle wey you see Millionaires and billonaires dey do. With time, you go see why dem dey do am.

But all in all, na God make life and wisdom possible for us all.

E don 3 years, wey I jejely resign from any salary work. Unless I see the one wey dey pay wella. Or unless I finally relocate outside. Because na part of my plan. To earn more outside so to invest more. Plot a graph and you will see that in even 10 to 20 years, your 100k today can turn to a lot of funds for you. So long as you keep your head in the game, and avoid show off. I never too hold something for now. But at 9 figures, I know how I have come far from less than 50k as savings before. But if you tell my village people say I even get up to 1 million naira, dem go swear for you say you be liar.


No worry na disguise. Even my wife no know how much don dey now. But I don push her enter stock market too, make she too learn how to dey patient and build wealth slowly and gradually. And she likes it. But na that her aggressive mood swings and how it can backfire abroad, dey scare me. Because the last thing wey I need now, na distraction. Warren Buffet and Tony Elumelu na my mentors. I hope you were able to get some clues there.

Thanks for the simplified explanation.
Can I you for more details about the stock market? I'm interested and would like to know more. Thank you

dontrulee:


Thanks for the simplified explanation.
Can I you for more details about the stock market? I'm interested and would like to know more. Thank you

I will send you what you actually need.

https:// facebook. com/groups/ NigerianStockExchangeInvestors/

It's a long process. Follow it patiently through the above. Remove the added spaces. It was because of Nairaland rules. Cheers to a greater life ahead.

essentialone:


I will send you what you actually need.

https:// facebook. com/groups/ NigerianStockExchangeInvestors/

It's a long process. Follow it patiently through the above. Remove the added spaces. It was because of Nairaland rules. Cheers to a greater life ahead.

Thank you very much.
Much appreciated