NewStats: 3,264,081 , 8,182,537 topics. Date: Monday, 09 June 2025 at 03:19 PM 2e5sn

Good day Nairalanders, last year I made a thread about my confusion relocating abroad or staying back in Nigeria to invest and got different opinions.. https://nairaland.macsoftware.info/7724820/relocate-stay-nigeria-serious-dilemma

Some people advised I stay and some insisted I travel (i wished I started making plans to travel then).The country wasn’t that bad as naira was around 700-800/$ and inflation wasn’t this bad.. And also, I was in a better financial standing with properties worth atleast 70m as of then,

Walk with me.


I have been a crypto trader for 7 years and literally made 90% of my money from crypto which set me up. I bought properties worth millions , my car, one for my mom and settled a few persons and finally got married to my longtime GF. I felt untouchable and didn’t for once think things would take a different turn in my life. However, my life took a drastic turn when I lost my daughter shortly after birth. This devastating event sent me into a downward spiral, affecting my mental health and trading decisions that cost me thousands of dollars including my trading capital.
After I lost my trading capital, I was broke with a grieving wife and put my first property for sale.

Sold the property for 16m by then dollar was already 850 and rapidly growing, I removed some money for house upkeep for months and converted the rest to dollar to continue on my crypto trading since that was my only source of income and my area of specialty.
I was grieving and trading (don’t know if it was my coping mechanism). Traded recklessly at the same time having issues in my family cos my mom made serious issues after we lost our baby, all this while I never knew she hated my wife and her family.. she initially told me not to get married to the girl and her family siting so many spiritual reasons but all fell on a deaf ear because I couldn’t imagine my mom making decisions for me or telling me who I should marry or not.. tension grew in the family and at the same time I was fighting for my finances together with dealing with a wife that just lost a child.. terrible period for me.. I was in between the devil and the deep blue Sea.. things didn’t go as planned with my trading and I ended up blowing up that money., and it downed on me that things are getting really serious and I need to face these challenges squarely.

I got broke again and since I’m a family man, I must always provide for my family so I always have to do something.. I contemplated selling my second property worth 30m for weeks before I finally concluded on selling it since I need money for investment or something to plan the money with. That was when I created that thread debating on traveling or staying back in Nigeria.. investing that money in Nigeria was not feasible and making sense to me considering the inflation as naira was almost hitting 900-100/$.
I didn’t know what business to do that won’t make me throw away my money or waste my time. Crypto was still the only business I was good in so I decided to diverse another means so I won’t loose money. I realized over trading was the problem because I was basically looking for a new project to invest in which most of them turned out to be scam.. so I made research on good projects to invest that money on

I found good projects I was confident on. I had everything already figured out. The plan was to invest that money and not trade till the end of 2024/2025 since I sold the property July 2023. I also vividly how my wife told me to use part of that money to buy other landed properties but I was adamant and felt I got things figured out already.. so I did exactly as I planed and also moved from that house we were living in to a different place and also started to learn tech. Along the line I got discouraged learning tech and felt I was wasting my time instead of looking for ways to make money. I realized it’s quite difficult for some people that have seen millions of naira to start learning a new skill or going to school.. it’s actually one of the hardest things to do. it takes a different kind of motivation and drive to push urself.

I don’t know how it happened but I found myself going back to trading again, I keep dipping my hands in my long term cryoto investments each time I needed capital to trade since it was taking forever for the coin to grow.. (if I had left what i invested, it would’ve been worth $300k by now with the 25m from my property I sold )

It was really a humbling situation for me. I went from having my life figured out to fighting again for my life… All these period my wife was already pregnant again after she got a miscarriage after loosing our first child. So now I’m not just fighting for myself and wife but a child is in the picture now.. things got worse in the new house we moved to as I kept loosing money on money.. I never had any profitable month in the new house.. I usually have eye for good projects to invest in but I began loosing my confidence and ended my selling so many good projects I invested in before they breakthrough.. I’ve had a case of missing out on a project that would’ve giving me $600k just because I sold it too early. Several other projects too. It was a repetition of circles. It seems I was going round in an unending circles.

I ended up selling another property in my new house worth 20m and also my car worth 11m, it happened like magic and.. I can’t really explained how these things happened but it happened too fast like some kind of evil manipulation or some gambling addiction on crypto.. I wasn’t a careless person, I don’t smoke and don’t drink, don’t womanise either.. so many thoughts ran through my mind even about my mom telling me not to marry my wife because she have had so many bad dreams about the girl and her family, she believes my problems started since I married the girl and she warned me.. God also blessed me with a child as my wife put to birth successfully

I asked my self could it be spiritual or physical? I also come from a relatively poor family that im the only grandchild doing well in the whole family from A-z.. my father died years ago.. my wife’s family is a progressive family that her cousins and direct siblings are in America and Canada so how could what my mom is saying be true. Well I never believed in any of those things right from the beginning but seeing the trajectory of my life in a space of 2 years make me begin to wonder

I already believe it to be my recklessness and probably gambling on crypto hoping to hit it big but on the other hand I’m not a newbie in this biz,, I have been grinding in this for atleast 7 years and got experience in this biz, its seems my years of hard work got wiped in a space of a year +

Now I’ve a property left valued at 18m that’s like a lifeline and already decided I won’t invest in crypto but use that money to travel out,, I’m back to learning the tech skill I have been avoiding for years and pushing myself hard everyday. The aim is to use the rest of the year to improve my skill to a significant level and be good at it by next year

This feels like a learning process and at same time a humbling experience for me, I have been without a vehicle for the past 4 months now.. I’ve made so much in life and almost lost everything even at a young age.. life can be very funny, when I had all the money I lost my child, when God finally blessed me with a child, I’m now fighting for my finances with my rent almost due and waiting for my property to be sold before I balance my rent.

I know i probably would’ve started a physical business in the past but looking at the current situation of Nigeria and inflation hitting ath I doubt my business could’ve survived but still this is a lesson of me putting all my eggs in one basket and still thinking Nigeria has any future. If I probably had travelled years ago when things weren’t this bad in Nigeria and I still had lots of resources, I doubt I would be in this situation..

Selling that land feels right now like I’d be starting life afresh with no property to my name… it hurts me so bad I’m even ashamed to explain this to anyone. Only my wife understands the level of damage that has happened in our lives the past 2 years. I can’t even tell my mom details of all of these.

I’m writing this out there so people can learn one or two from it,, I’d be 32 in few months time and I’m picking up myself by learning a tech skill and relocate from the country. I also plan relocating to Abuja first so I can be close to the embassy as regards to visa interviews runs etc I want to dedicate the next 1 year in traveling runs and perfecting a tech skill I can bank on when I travel. My story is quite deeper than this but I’m not a long writer so I just touched the most important part.

I will probably come back here in a year time or 2 years to write my progress in life . Thanks for reading

See in this life, there are NO BEST LAID PLANS.
Your health can suddenly deteriorate, your finances can diminish even with sure looking investments, a divorce can happen, you can lose a loved one etc etc.

The only constant thing is change and how you adjust to it so all I can say is make a decision and see it through. Keep trying. Don't loose hope and whatever you do don't give up on yourself....

It is what it is.

Yy

Before you rush to do anything I will advise you to take care of your mental health. If possible you should see a psychiatrist or someone qualified to talk to. If your mental health is dead, you are as good as dead.

Selfkontrol:
Good day Nairalanders, last year I made a thread about my confusion relocating abroad or staying back in Nigeria to invest and got different opinions.. https://nairaland.macsoftware.info/7724820/relocate-stay-nigeria-serious-dilemma

Some people advised I stay and some insisted I travel (i wished I started making plans to travel then).The country wasn’t that bad as naira was around 700-800/$ and inflation wasn’t this bad.. And also, I was in a better financial standing with properties worth atleast 70m as of then,

Walk with me.


I have been a crypto trader for 7 years and literally made 90% of my money from crypto which set me up. I bought properties worth millions , my car, one for my mom and settled a few persons and finally got married to my longtime GF. I felt untouchable and didn’t for once think things would take a different turn in my life. However, my life took a drastic turn when I lost my daughter shortly after birth. This devastating event sent me into a downward spiral, affecting my mental health and trading decisions that cost me thousands of dollars including my trading capital.
After I lost my trading capital, I was broke with a grieving wife and put my first property for sale.

Sold the property for 16m by then dollar was already 850 and rapidly growing, I removed some money for house upkeep for months and converted the rest to dollar to continue on my crypto trading since that was my only source of income and my area of specialty.
I was grieving and trading (don’t know if it was my coping mechanism). Traded recklessly at the same time having issues in my family cos my mom made serious issues after we lost our baby, all this while I never knew she hated my wife and her family.. she initially told me not to get married to the girl and her family siting so many spiritual reasons but all fell on a deaf ear because I couldn’t imagine my mom making decisions for me or telling me who I should marry or not.. tension grew in the family and at the same time I was fighting for my finances together with dealing with a wife that just lost a child.. terrible period for me.. I was in between the devil and the deep blue Sea.. things didn’t go as planned with my trading and I ended up blowing up that money., and it downed on me that things are getting really serious and I need to face these challenges squarely.

I got broke again and since I’m a family man, I must always provide for my family so I always have to do something.. I contemplated selling my second property worth 30m for weeks before I finally concluded on selling it since I need money for investment or something to plan the money with. That was when I created that thread debating on traveling or staying back in Nigeria.. investing that money in Nigeria was not feasible and making sense to me considering the inflation as naira was almost hitting 900-100/$.
I didn’t know what business to do that won’t make me throw away my money or waste my time. Crypto was still the only business I was good in so I decided to diverse another means so I won’t loose money. I realized over trading was the problem because I was basically looking for a new project to invest in which most of them turned out to be scam.. so I made research on good projects to invest that money on

I found good projects I was confident on. I had everything already figured out. The plan was to invest that money and not trade till the end of 2024/2025 since I sold the property July 2023. I also vividly how my wife told me to use part of that money to buy other landed properties but I was adamant and felt I got things figured out already.. so I did exactly as I planed and also moved from that house we were living in to a different place and also started to learn tech. Along the line I got discouraged learning tech and felt I was wasting my time instead of looking for ways to make money. I realized it’s quite difficult for some people that have seen millions of naira to start learning a new skill or going to school.. it’s actually one of the hardest things to do. it takes a different kind of motivation and drive to push urself.

I don’t know how it happened but I found myself going back to trading again, I keep dipping my hands in my long term cryoto investments each time I needed capital to trade since it was taking forever for the coin to grow.. (if I had left what i invested, it would’ve been worth $300k by now with the 25m from my property I sold )

It was really a humbling situation for me. I went from having my life figured out to fighting again for my life… All these period my wife was already pregnant again after she got a miscarriage after loosing our first child. So now I’m not just fighting for myself and wife but a child is in the picture now.. things got worse in the new house we moved to as I kept loosing money on money.. I never had any profitable month in the new house.. I usually have eye for good projects to invest in but I began loosing my confidence and ended my selling so many good projects I invested in before they breakthrough.. I’ve had a case of missing out on a project that would’ve giving me $600k just because I sold it too early. Several other projects too. It was a repetition of circles. It seems I was going round in an unending circles.

I ended up selling another property in my new house worth 20m and also my car worth 11m, it happened like magic and.. I can’t really explained how these things happened but it happened too fast like some kind of evil manipulation or some gambling addiction on crypto.. I wasn’t a careless person, I don’t smoke and don’t drink, don’t womanise either.. so many thoughts ran through my mind even about my mom telling me not to marry my wife because she have had so many bad dreams about the girl and her family, she believes my problems started since I married the girl and she warned me.. God also blessed me with a child as my wife put to birth successfully

I asked my self could it be spiritual or physical? I also come from a relatively poor family that im the only grandchild doing well in the whole family from A-z.. my father died years ago.. my wife’s family is a progressive family that her cousins and direct siblings are in America and Canada so how could what my mom is saying be true. Well I never believed in any of those things right from the beginning but seeing the trajectory of my life in a space of 2 years make me begin to wonder

I already believe it to be my recklessness and probably gambling on crypto hoping to hit it big but on the other hand I’m not a newbie in this biz,, I have been grinding in this for atleast 7 years and got experience in this biz, its seems my years of hard work got wiped in a space of a year +

Now I’ve a property left valued at 18m that’s like a lifeline and already decided I won’t invest in crypto but use that money to travel out,, I’m back to learning the tech skill I have been avoiding for years and pushing myself hard everyday. The aim is to use the rest of the year to improve my skill to a significant level and be good at it by next year

This feels like a learning process and at same time a humbling experience for me, I have been without a vehicle for the past 4 months now.. I’ve made so much in life and almost lost everything even at a young age.. life can be very funny, when I had all the money I lost my child, when God finally blessed me with a child, I’m now fighting for my finances with my rent almost due and waiting for my property to be sold before I balance my rent.

I know i probably would’ve started a physical business in the past but looking at the current situation of Nigeria and inflation hitting ath I doubt my business could’ve survived but still this is a lesson of me putting all my eggs in one basket and still thinking Nigeria has any future. If I probably had travelled years ago when things weren’t this bad in Nigeria and I still had lots of resources, I doubt I would be in this situation..

Selling that land feels right now like I’d be starting life afresh with no property to my name… it hurts me so bad I’m even ashamed to explain this to anyone. Only my wife understands the level of damage that has happened in our lives the past 2 years. I can’t even tell my mom details of all of these.

I’m writing this out there so people can learn one or two from it,, I’d be 32 in few months time and I’m picking up myself by learning a tech skill and relocate from the country. I also plan relocating to Abuja first so I can be close to the embassy as regards to visa interviews runs etc I want to dedicate the next 1 year in traveling runs and perfecting a tech skill I can bank on when I travel. My story is quite deeper than this but I’m not a long writer so I just touched the most important part.

I will probably come back here in a year time or 2 years to write my progress in life . Thanks for reading

Life can be unpredictable but never give up bro

When there is Life there is Hope no matter how bad and depressing it get.
This type of downward spiral are often times spiritual. You probably know the reason but too afraid or shy to confront it.

Maybe or maybe not spiritual but one thing is definitely sure.....

Life is really unpredictable and that's the reason I just laugh at some people who think they have successfully planned out their life just because everything seems to be going smoothly for them presently forgetting that things can change at any given time.

It takes years to build up but tearing down, that just takes couple of minutes..

These life no just balance at all

Deep....

Crypto is a give and take....the loss is always more than the gain especially when you no get self control.

You fit get one major cashout in 2 years...but the multiple small small losses in between those 2 years go the cashout e just be like betting

You are a gambling addict.
Crypto and sportybet are of the same family.


I’ve being here, and no other reason brought me here but gambling!
You should know when to duff your hat and call it goodbyes as a gambler.


I hope you heal and seek spiritual guidance.

It's well bro God will see you through I feel your pain don't loose hope put yourself together.

Please don't ever believe that your mum's accusations that your wife and her family are behind your financial problem. No wife wants her husband to be broke, who wants to suffer?
Life is full of challenges, this is yours. Sickness, loss, anything can happen at anytime. I know someone that just bought a house this year, this month fire has destroyed it. That is life for you. Keep trying and you will get back on your feet again.

Life is just so unpredictable.

Lessons learned, where there is life there is hope

Hmmmm.... long read
All the money wey you call, big ooo....
You are really rich.....

I can only say, from my observation... you couldn't find who you could relate your problems to...... sometimes when life starts taking a bad turn.... please talk to someone, like your pastor, a sibling. With intelligence, a counselor..... you may not need to say your wealth but you can meet people and talk about frustration....let the mind be free...

I may not be rich to advice you, but in times when you battle with your mind... please sir talk talk to someone sir....

I pray for grace

Hmmm
Life is truly unpredictable

Sorry about your predicaments. God will see you through.
You can't really be sure of what would have happened if you had opted to Japa then , every decision a man takes is more like a risky step.
Please don't blame yourself or regret your past actions
My advice, while you seek counselling, also try to get closer to God in prayer . Life experiences can just be beyond the physical at times.

You've pinpointed your mistakes but you have not done so completely. You're still trying to push blame subtly.

Acknowledge your mistakes squarely. Allow your spirit, soul, and body to undergo proper catharsis. If possible look for a secluded place to cry out. Yes, you need it.

The thing about life is that it's unpredictable. However, our decisions of today will determine how that unpredictability will affect us.

Life is crazy. You must be crazy too in your decisions and actions. That's how you escape drastic turn of events.

Now you've learned the importance of income diversification. Learn more about finance and investment.

Since you're good at researching good crypto projects focus your attention there.

Except it's a matter of life and death, like extremely a matter of life and death, don't sell your properties. Except you want to turn it into a profitable investment or it is a liability.

Now to your wife: You both need the warmth and the love that greases relationship friction. Nothing is happening now that's a result of her fault (from your explanation).

Don't give 1 cent fvck about those spiritual nonsense. It's a lie. A very big fat lie.

You don't see it as lies because you've fallen for the confirmation bias - your mother's dreams, and your financial wreckage.

That woman has nothing to do with it in any way. Don't start raising suspicious eyebrows and go further in punching holes in sealed bags.

Your mother will be definitely justified now because of your current financial status. But don't fall for it. You were the one who made those financial mistakes. Your wife one time tried to persuade you not to but it fell on deaf ears.

Please, please, and please, focus on your family right now. You and your wife need each other now. Don't swim in troubled waters.

All your decisions now are solid. But I still believe you need to through a proper catharsis to clear your mind and head. A good wise friend, sibling, or counselor would be better to walk with you through this stage.

Henceforth, no more regrets of past mistakes. The past is the past. Let it go.

Focus on the present and future.

Learn the tech skills.
Focus on only good crypto projects.
Minimize spending.
Meditate.
Pray if you wish (not religious-wise).
Love your wife and teach her how to improve on her feminity and ways to help the family in these tough times.

The days of grieving shouldn't weigh you down.

It is time to put an end to your mourning. Because it is dawn, and joy comes in the morning.

I wish you well, man.

Thanks.

Do some spiritual exercises including your wife, be careful on the journey also trace the root of your ancestors, appease them so you be at peace.. go back to your business and thanks me later

Selfkontrol:
Good day Nairalanders, last year I made a thread about my confusion relocating abroad or staying back in Nigeria to invest and got different opinions.. https://nairaland.macsoftware.info/7724820/relocate-stay-nigeria-serious-dilemma

Some people advised I stay and some insisted I travel (i wished I started making plans to travel then).The country wasn’t that bad as naira was around 700-800/$ and inflation wasn’t this bad.. And also, I was in a better financial standing with properties worth atleast 70m as of then,

Walk with me.


I have been a crypto trader for 7 years and literally made 90% of my money from crypto which set me up. I bought properties worth millions , my car, one for my mom and settled a few persons and finally got married to my longtime GF. I felt untouchable and didn’t for once think things would take a different turn in my life. However, my life took a drastic turn when I lost my daughter shortly after birth. This devastating event sent me into a downward spiral, affecting my mental health and trading decisions that cost me thousands of dollars including my trading capital.
After I lost my trading capital, I was broke with a grieving wife and put my first property for sale.

Sold the property for 16m by then dollar was already 850 and rapidly growing, I removed some money for house upkeep for months and converted the rest to dollar to continue on my crypto trading since that was my only source of income and my area of specialty.
I was grieving and trading (don’t know if it was my coping mechanism). Traded recklessly at the same time having issues in my family cos my mom made serious issues after we lost our baby, all this while I never knew she hated my wife and her family.. she initially told me not to get married to the girl and her family siting so many spiritual reasons but all fell on a deaf ear because I couldn’t imagine my mom making decisions for me or telling me who I should marry or not.. tension grew in the family and at the same time I was fighting for my finances together with dealing with a wife that just lost a child.. terrible period for me.. I was in between the devil and the deep blue Sea.. things didn’t go as planned with my trading and I ended up blowing up that money., and it downed on me that things are getting really serious and I need to face these challenges squarely.

I got broke again and since I’m a family man, I must always provide for my family so I always have to do something.. I contemplated selling my second property worth 30m for weeks before I finally concluded on selling it since I need money for investment or something to plan the money with. That was when I created that thread debating on traveling or staying back in Nigeria.. investing that money in Nigeria was not feasible and making sense to me considering the inflation as naira was almost hitting 900-100/$.
I didn’t know what business to do that won’t make me throw away my money or waste my time. Crypto was still the only business I was good in so I decided to diverse another means so I won’t loose money. I realized over trading was the problem because I was basically looking for a new project to invest in which most of them turned out to be scam.. so I made research on good projects to invest that money on

I found good projects I was confident on. I had everything already figured out. The plan was to invest that money and not trade till the end of 2024/2025 since I sold the property July 2023. I also vividly how my wife told me to use part of that money to buy other landed properties but I was adamant and felt I got things figured out already.. so I did exactly as I planed and also moved from that house we were living in to a different place and also started to learn tech. Along the line I got discouraged learning tech and felt I was wasting my time instead of looking for ways to make money. I realized it’s quite difficult for some people that have seen millions of naira to start learning a new skill or going to school.. it’s actually one of the hardest things to do. it takes a different kind of motivation and drive to push urself.

I don’t know how it happened but I found myself going back to trading again, I keep dipping my hands in my long term cryoto investments each time I needed capital to trade since it was taking forever for the coin to grow.. (if I had left what i invested, it would’ve been worth $300k by now with the 25m from my property I sold )

It was really a humbling situation for me. I went from having my life figured out to fighting again for my life… All these period my wife was already pregnant again after she got a miscarriage after loosing our first child. So now I’m not just fighting for myself and wife but a child is in the picture now.. things got worse in the new house we moved to as I kept loosing money on money.. I never had any profitable month in the new house.. I usually have eye for good projects to invest in but I began loosing my confidence and ended my selling so many good projects I invested in before they breakthrough.. I’ve had a case of missing out on a project that would’ve giving me $600k just because I sold it too early. Several other projects too. It was a repetition of circles. It seems I was going round in an unending circles.

I ended up selling another property in my new house worth 20m and also my car worth 11m, it happened like magic and.. I can’t really explained how these things happened but it happened too fast like some kind of evil manipulation or some gambling addiction on crypto.. I wasn’t a careless person, I don’t smoke and don’t drink, don’t womanise either.. so many thoughts ran through my mind even about my mom telling me not to marry my wife because she have had so many bad dreams about the girl and her family, she believes my problems started since I married the girl and she warned me.. God also blessed me with a child as my wife put to birth successfully

I asked my self could it be spiritual or physical? I also come from a relatively poor family that im the only grandchild doing well in the whole family from A-z.. my father died years ago.. my wife’s family is a progressive family that her cousins and direct siblings are in America and Canada so how could what my mom is saying be true. Well I never believed in any of those things right from the beginning but seeing the trajectory of my life in a space of 2 years make me begin to wonder

I already believe it to be my recklessness and probably gambling on crypto hoping to hit it big but on the other hand I’m not a newbie in this biz,, I have been grinding in this for atleast 7 years and got experience in this biz, its seems my years of hard work got wiped in a space of a year +

Now I’ve a property left valued at 18m that’s like a lifeline and already decided I won’t invest in crypto but use that money to travel out,, I’m back to learning the tech skill I have been avoiding for years and pushing myself hard everyday. The aim is to use the rest of the year to improve my skill to a significant level and be good at it by next year

This feels like a learning process and at same time a humbling experience for me, I have been without a vehicle for the past 4 months now.. I’ve made so much in life and almost lost everything even at a young age.. life can be very funny, when I had all the money I lost my child, when God finally blessed me with a child, I’m now fighting for my finances with my rent almost due and waiting for my property to be sold before I balance my rent.

I know i probably would’ve started a physical business in the past but looking at the current situation of Nigeria and inflation hitting ath I doubt my business could’ve survived but still this is a lesson of me putting all my eggs in one basket and still thinking Nigeria has any future. If I probably had travelled years ago when things weren’t this bad in Nigeria and I still had lots of resources, I doubt I would be in this situation..

Selling that land feels right now like I’d be starting life afresh with no property to my name… it hurts me so bad I’m even ashamed to explain this to anyone. Only my wife understands the level of damage that has happened in our lives the past 2 years. I can’t even tell my mom details of all of these.

I’m writing this out there so people can learn one or two from it,, I’d be 32 in few months time and I’m picking up myself by learning a tech skill and relocate from the country. I also plan relocating to Abuja first so I can be close to the embassy as regards to visa interviews runs etc I want to dedicate the next 1 year in traveling runs and perfecting a tech skill I can bank on when I travel. My story is quite deeper than this but I’m not a long writer so I just touched the most important part.

I will probably come back here in a year time or 2 years to write my progress in life . Thanks for reading

Hello Bro,

I emphasize with you on this your sojourn so far.

But it just unfortunate, in all of your writings, you didnt include God in any of it.

You know in this life, we can only try, it is God that gives the increase. One thing that caught my attention in your writing is the fact that you are the only one doing well in your family from A - Z.

You dont need a prophet to tell you that what you are going thru is spiritual. Is it that everyone in the family is lazy and no one is trying to make it, that all of them failed, and that life suddenly smiled at you. If you drill down, you would realize there is something special about you and until you discover yourself, you might just be going in circles.

I would advise you not to sell any property again till you have a clear road on what happening to you. i can tell you foe free that selling that house might not give you the results that you need. You need to clear your head and go back to your maker for direction. You are 32 which means you still a very young man with a whole life ahead of him.

When you mum said you should not marry your wife, did you ask questions about what she saw, or did you engage her to find out the reason why. What have you observed about your wife also? What dreams have you been having?

I wish you all the best

This is my issue with religion make people believe nonsense. Your wives family is better than yours and progressive. But your mum believes they have spiritual issues. Guy you don suffer sha. I have a relative like this made so much money quickly, but the same risk taking appetite made them lose the money quickly too. From buying 3 houses to begging for 50k naira to feed . It is well

I read your your story and I fell I can just say this to you. In life, we have ups and downs. We learn in life by our actions we take and as such, we use that lesson learnt to perfect our next future step in life.

Bro let me drop you a small advice and I hope you take from this.

1, take a break from the world, if I would say do it this way, take a break from the life you living now by
1, from that money you have now make a six months adequate plan for for your wife and child financially so they will be okay for the next 6 to 7 months, then just go to a very remote village where nobody knows you leave all tech behind don't even go with any phone, your first one month there if it's drink or smoke do it as much as you can for one month and after one month sober up if you can if it takes you more than a month keep going but make sure you sober up and when you do, take the next 5 months and meditate and experience and embrace nature. Play with ants, butterflies, birds. Hunt for your food. Learn how to swim live in a hunt live like Tarzan if possible and during this process, think of the things that you know that makes you happy if your son or wife included know who you can call family and blood from your immediate family I e father mother brothers sisters. When you know you have seen the life in a bright side, come back to your wife and son and then you can go ahead and plan which country and which skills you want to follow.

Some people might say I am over saying it but this are my reasons for giving you this advice.

I know you have made up your mind to relocate to another country to start afresh and for your young age I am very certain you can make it work for you and your family.
But know this

1, no amount of money you take with you from Nigeria, will be enough when you relocate to a first world country. It is the money you start making here that will make it all count.

2, you need to get your head and shit together before you relocate because you will live a lonely single depressed life for the next 5 to 6 years because nobody knows you and nobody send you. Before you make a TRUE friend here it takes years because everyone is always on the move or indoors.

3 before you can settle down in another man country will take you life tears and sweat. Every night you go to bed crying and asking God why me? Or God did I make the right decision? But I will definitely tell you this today that as long as you get your shit straight and trust the process, there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

4. Every country get their problems and mostly when you have the thick wonderful shining black skin color that makes you special when they wish they had deep down.
5.Abroad will test you bad as in real bad. So my advice is go first and make sure you make adequate plans for your wife and child and when you settle you send for them. Make you come stress the stress for them then make them come when you don get place of your own.
6, abeg if any of this other s no enter your ear make this one enter.
Make sure you don get place to stay before you japa. I mean make sure say the person wain dey tell you come, when you don land make sure say that learn will be willing to come receive you from airport to stay with am for at least 4 to 6 months. E go help you e get why. If you no get where to stay make sure you do find no just go eyes blind.

7. Even if na plumber you see do make u do am when you reach you go make am.

Finally if you know say you no go fit do the lowest of lowest job then no japa. Reduce your expectations of the country you dey go from 100 to 20 because no be everything you dey watch for film na so e be there.
You made it once before you can make it again over and over but this time use wisdom. Where one door close another one go open.

Sorry for the loss Lesson learnt

slan87:


Life can be unpredictable but never give up bro

u quote the whole thread just to say this?

Selfkontrol:
Good day Nairalanders, last year I made a thread about my confusion relocating abroad or staying back in Nigeria to invest and got different opinions.. https://nairaland.macsoftware.info/7724820/relocate-stay-nigeria-serious-dilemma

Some people advised I stay and some insisted I travel (i wished I started making plans to travel then).The country wasn’t that bad as naira was around 700-800/$ and inflation wasn’t this bad.. And also, I was in a better financial standing with properties worth atleast 70m as of then,

Walk with me.


I have been a crypto trader for 7 years and literally made 90% of my money from crypto which set me up. I bought properties worth millions , my car, one for my mom and settled a few persons and finally got married to my longtime GF. I felt untouchable and didn’t for once think things would take a different turn in my life. However, my life took a drastic turn when I lost my daughter shortly after birth. This devastating event sent me into a downward spiral, affecting my mental health and trading decisions that cost me thousands of dollars including my trading capital.
After I lost my trading capital, I was broke with a grieving wife and put my first property for sale.

Sold the property for 16m by then dollar was already 850 and rapidly growing, I removed some money for house upkeep for months and converted the rest to dollar to continue on my crypto trading since that was my only source of income and my area of specialty.
I was grieving and trading (don’t know if it was my coping mechanism). Traded recklessly at the same time having issues in my family cos my mom made serious issues after we lost our baby, all this while I never knew she hated my wife and her family.. she initially told me not to get married to the girl and her family siting so many spiritual reasons but all fell on a deaf ear because I couldn’t imagine my mom making decisions for me or telling me who I should marry or not.. tension grew in the family and at the same time I was fighting for my finances together with dealing with a wife that just lost a child.. terrible period for me.. I was in between the devil and the deep blue Sea.. things didn’t go as planned with my trading and I ended up blowing up that money., and it downed on me that things are getting really serious and I need to face these challenges squarely.

I got broke again and since I’m a family man, I must always provide for my family so I always have to do something.. I contemplated selling my second property worth 30m for weeks before I finally concluded on selling it since I need money for investment or something to plan the money with. That was when I created that thread debating on traveling or staying back in Nigeria.. investing that money in Nigeria was not feasible and making sense to me considering the inflation as naira was almost hitting 900-100/$.
I didn’t know what business to do that won’t make me throw away my money or waste my time. Crypto was still the only business I was good in so I decided to diverse another means so I won’t loose money. I realized over trading was the problem because I was basically looking for a new project to invest in which most of them turned out to be scam.. so I made research on good projects to invest that money on

I found good projects I was confident on. I had everything already figured out. The plan was to invest that money and not trade till the end of 2024/2025 since I sold the property July 2023. I also vividly how my wife told me to use part of that money to buy other landed properties but I was adamant and felt I got things figured out already.. so I did exactly as I planed and also moved from that house we were living in to a different place and also started to learn tech. Along the line I got discouraged learning tech and felt I was wasting my time instead of looking for ways to make money. I realized it’s quite difficult for some people that have seen millions of naira to start learning a new skill or going to school.. it’s actually one of the hardest things to do. it takes a different kind of motivation and drive to push urself.

I don’t know how it happened but I found myself going back to trading again, I keep dipping my hands in my long term cryoto investments each time I needed capital to trade since it was taking forever for the coin to grow.. (if I had left what i invested, it would’ve been worth $300k by now with the 25m from my property I sold )

It was really a humbling situation for me. I went from having my life figured out to fighting again for my life… All these period my wife was already pregnant again after she got a miscarriage after loosing our first child. So now I’m not just fighting for myself and wife but a child is in the picture now.. things got worse in the new house we moved to as I kept loosing money on money.. I never had any profitable month in the new house.. I usually have eye for good projects to invest in but I began loosing my confidence and ended my selling so many good projects I invested in before they breakthrough.. I’ve had a case of missing out on a project that would’ve giving me $600k just because I sold it too early. Several other projects too. It was a repetition of circles. It seems I was going round in an unending circles.

I ended up selling another property in my new house worth 20m and also my car worth 11m, it happened like magic and.. I can’t really explained how these things happened but it happened too fast like some kind of evil manipulation or some gambling addiction on crypto.. I wasn’t a careless person, I don’t smoke and don’t drink, don’t womanise either.. so many thoughts ran through my mind even about my mom telling me not to marry my wife because she have had so many bad dreams about the girl and her family, she believes my problems started since I married the girl and she warned me.. God also blessed me with a child as my wife put to birth successfully

I asked my self could it be spiritual or physical? I also come from a relatively poor family that im the only grandchild doing well in the whole family from A-z.. my father died years ago.. my wife’s family is a progressive family that her cousins and direct siblings are in America and Canada so how could what my mom is saying be true. Well I never believed in any of those things right from the beginning but seeing the trajectory of my life in a space of 2 years make me begin to wonder

I already believe it to be my recklessness and probably gambling on crypto hoping to hit it big but on the other hand I’m not a newbie in this biz,, I have been grinding in this for atleast 7 years and got experience in this biz, its seems my years of hard work got wiped in a space of a year +

Now I’ve a property left valued at 18m that’s like a lifeline and already decided I won’t invest in crypto but use that money to travel out,, I’m back to learning the tech skill I have been avoiding for years and pushing myself hard everyday. The aim is to use the rest of the year to improve my skill to a significant level and be good at it by next year

This feels like a learning process and at same time a humbling experience for me, I have been without a vehicle for the past 4 months now.. I’ve made so much in life and almost lost everything even at a young age.. life can be very funny, when I had all the money I lost my child, when God finally blessed me with a child, I’m now fighting for my finances with my rent almost due and waiting for my property to be sold before I balance my rent.

I know i probably would’ve started a physical business in the past but looking at the current situation of Nigeria and inflation hitting ath I doubt my business could’ve survived but still this is a lesson of me putting all my eggs in one basket and still thinking Nigeria has any future. If I probably had travelled years ago when things weren’t this bad in Nigeria and I still had lots of resources, I doubt I would be in this situation..

Selling that land feels right now like I’d be starting life afresh with no property to my name… it hurts me so bad I’m even ashamed to explain this to anyone. Only my wife understands the level of damage that has happened in our lives the past 2 years. I can’t even tell my mom details of all of these.

I’m writing this out there so people can learn one or two from it,, I’d be 32 in few months time and I’m picking up myself by learning a tech skill and relocate from the country. I also plan relocating to Abuja first so I can be close to the embassy as regards to visa interviews runs etc I want to dedicate the next 1 year in traveling runs and perfecting a tech skill I can bank on when I travel. My story is quite deeper than this but I’m not a long writer so I just touched the most important part.

I will probably come back here in a year time or 2 years to write my progress in life . Thanks for reading

i think you lack a mentor. I think you would have come for advise before this free fall. If you are a learning a tech skill let it be AI especially generative AI

jesmond3945:
i think you lack a mentor. I think you would have come for advise before this free fall. If you are a learning a tech skill let it be AI especially generative AI

Lol and will you get an entry level job with AI. Most ai jobs require a PhD in maths, stats or computer science. The real ai is math and stat heavy

Spanishmilf:
u quote the whole thread just to say this?

How does it affects you?

@ Selfkontrol

What a heartbreaking story. As I was reading through your story, I was expecting a great news towards the end but alas none.


Jeez

This is why in Igbo tradition, it is believed that a man is not successful until he marries.


I would suggest you find a strong deliverance ministry and give it a try. Many would discourage and say it's normal but behind closed doors, they consult their ifa Priest, Babalawo, Pastors, Prophets, Prophetess, etc.


While you are planning how to bounce back, please seek for spiritual help and also draw closer to God, God is real, I am a living witness, I don't say what I haven't tried or done. Go back to God with all your heart and pour out your ordeal and follow it up and see.


Next thing I would suggest for you to do is to startup a paid crypto trading couching class and trust me if truly you are good in it, you will get students and earn some side cash from there.


The Tech skill, focus seriously on it.

If you plan to Japa, it's good too but what's your original course of study at the university? Have you checked out the German opportunity card?

Also check Portugal, Estonia and Finland.


Sometimes it's good to listen to our parents counsel

missidy:
Please don't ever believe that your mum's accusations that your wife and her family are behind your financial problem. No wife wants her husband to be broke, who wants to suffer?
Life is full of challenges, this is yours. Sickness, loss, anything can happen at anytime. I know someone that just bought a house this year, this month fire has destroyed it. That is life for you. Keep trying and you will get back on your feet again.

Not that his wife wants his downfall, it could be a family inherited curse, a generational curse or pattern or self inflicted spiritual bondage via everyday life activities.


Some people are carrying a curse based on some evil their parents, grandparents, etc committed in the past. Some are carrying a curse based on one or two things they did wrong in the past, and any man or woman they get married to gets share of that curse they are carrying. This is why marriage is a serious thing in Africa, especially West Africa.


Don't compare us with western countries, our culture, our tradition, our belief system differs from theirs, that is why a curse may work here and won't work on white people.


Some ladies are spiritually possessed from birth, some from the life they lived growing up, and any man they marry (that pays their bride price) gets a share of their curse. If she has a jealous spiritual husband, he would definitely fight her physical husband to frustrate them to divorce so he the spiritual husband can have his wife back to himself alone.

Life is deeper than many think.


Don't live your life as if it's just physical and ordinary if you do, you are making a big mistake in life, wake up

Selfkontrol:
Good day Nairalanders, last year I made a thread about my confusion relocating abroad or staying back in Nigeria to invest and got different opinions.. https://nairaland.macsoftware.info/7724820/relocate-stay-nigeria-serious-dilemma

Some people advised I stay and some insisted I travel (i wished I started making plans to travel then).The country wasn’t that bad as naira was around 700-800/$ and inflation wasn’t this bad.. And also, I was in a better financial standing with properties worth atleast 70m as of then,

Walk with me.


I have been a crypto trader for 7 years and literally made 90% of my money from crypto which set me up. I bought properties worth millions , my car, one for my mom and settled a few persons and finally got married to my longtime GF. I felt untouchable and didn’t for once think things would take a different turn in my life. However, my life took a drastic turn when I lost my daughter shortly after birth. This devastating event sent me into a downward spiral, affecting my mental health and trading decisions that cost me thousands of dollars including my trading capital.
After I lost my trading capital, I was broke with a grieving wife and put my first property for sale.

Sold the property for 16m by then dollar was already 850 and rapidly growing, I removed some money for house upkeep for months and converted the rest to dollar to continue on my crypto trading since that was my only source of income and my area of specialty.
I was grieving and trading (don’t know if it was my coping mechanism). Traded recklessly at the same time having issues in my family cos my mom made serious issues after we lost our baby, all this while I never knew she hated my wife and her family.. she initially told me not to get married to the girl and her family siting so many spiritual reasons but all fell on a deaf ear because I couldn’t imagine my mom making decisions for me or telling me who I should marry or not.. tension grew in the family and at the same time I was fighting for my finances together with dealing with a wife that just lost a child.. terrible period for me.. I was in between the devil and the deep blue Sea.. things didn’t go as planned with my trading and I ended up blowing up that money., and it downed on me that things are getting really serious and I need to face these challenges squarely.

I got broke again and since I’m a family man, I must always provide for my family so I always have to do something.. I contemplated selling my second property worth 30m for weeks before I finally concluded on selling it since I need money for investment or something to plan the money with. That was when I created that thread debating on traveling or staying back in Nigeria.. investing that money in Nigeria was not feasible and making sense to me considering the inflation as naira was almost hitting 900-100/$.
I didn’t know what business to do that won’t make me throw away my money or waste my time. Crypto was still the only business I was good in so I decided to diverse another means so I won’t loose money. I realized over trading was the problem because I was basically looking for a new project to invest in which most of them turned out to be scam.. so I made research on good projects to invest that money on

I found good projects I was confident on. I had everything already figured out. The plan was to invest that money and not trade till the end of 2024/2025 since I sold the property July 2023. I also vividly how my wife told me to use part of that money to buy other landed properties but I was adamant and felt I got things figured out already.. so I did exactly as I planed and also moved from that house we were living in to a different place and also started to learn tech. Along the line I got discouraged learning tech and felt I was wasting my time instead of looking for ways to make money. I realized it’s quite difficult for some people that have seen millions of naira to start learning a new skill or going to school.. it’s actually one of the hardest things to do. it takes a different kind of motivation and drive to push urself.

I don’t know how it happened but I found myself going back to trading again, I keep dipping my hands in my long term cryoto investments each time I needed capital to trade since it was taking forever for the coin to grow.. (if I had left what i invested, it would’ve been worth $300k by now with the 25m from my property I sold )

It was really a humbling situation for me. I went from having my life figured out to fighting again for my life… All these period my wife was already pregnant again after she got a miscarriage after loosing our first child. So now I’m not just fighting for myself and wife but a child is in the picture now.. things got worse in the new house we moved to as I kept loosing money on money.. I never had any profitable month in the new house.. I usually have eye for good projects to invest in but I began loosing my confidence and ended my selling so many good projects I invested in before they breakthrough.. I’ve had a case of missing out on a project that would’ve giving me $600k just because I sold it too early. Several other projects too. It was a repetition of circles. It seems I was going round in an unending circles.

I ended up selling another property in my new house worth 20m and also my car worth 11m, it happened like magic and.. I can’t really explained how these things happened but it happened too fast like some kind of evil manipulation or some gambling addiction on crypto.. I wasn’t a careless person, I don’t smoke and don’t drink, don’t womanise either.. so many thoughts ran through my mind even about my mom telling me not to marry my wife because she have had so many bad dreams about the girl and her family, she believes my problems started since I married the girl and she warned me.. God also blessed me with a child as my wife put to birth successfully

I asked my self could it be spiritual or physical? I also come from a relatively poor family that im the only grandchild doing well in the whole family from A-z.. my father died years ago.. my wife’s family is a progressive family that her cousins and direct siblings are in America and Canada so how could what my mom is saying be true. Well I never believed in any of those things right from the beginning but seeing the trajectory of my life in a space of 2 years make me begin to wonder

I already believe it to be my recklessness and probably gambling on crypto hoping to hit it big but on the other hand I’m not a newbie in this biz,, I have been grinding in this for atleast 7 years and got experience in this biz, its seems my years of hard work got wiped in a space of a year +

Now I’ve a property left valued at 18m that’s like a lifeline and already decided I won’t invest in crypto but use that money to travel out,, I’m back to learning the tech skill I have been avoiding for years and pushing myself hard everyday. The aim is to use the rest of the year to improve my skill to a significant level and be good at it by next year

This feels like a learning process and at same time a humbling experience for me, I have been without a vehicle for the past 4 months now.. I’ve made so much in life and almost lost everything even at a young age.. life can be very funny, when I had all the money I lost my child, when God finally blessed me with a child, I’m now fighting for my finances with my rent almost due and waiting for my property to be sold before I balance my rent.

I know i probably would’ve started a physical business in the past but looking at the current situation of Nigeria and inflation hitting ath I doubt my business could’ve survived but still this is a lesson of me putting all my eggs in one basket and still thinking Nigeria has any future. If I probably had travelled years ago when things weren’t this bad in Nigeria and I still had lots of resources, I doubt I would be in this situation..

Selling that land feels right now like I’d be starting life afresh with no property to my name… it hurts me so bad I’m even ashamed to explain this to anyone. Only my wife understands the level of damage that has happened in our lives the past 2 years. I can’t even tell my mom details of all of these.

I’m writing this out there so people can learn one or two from it,, I’d be 32 in few months time and I’m picking up myself by learning a tech skill and relocate from the country. I also plan relocating to Abuja first so I can be close to the embassy as regards to visa interviews runs etc I want to dedicate the next 1 year in traveling runs and perfecting a tech skill I can bank on when I travel. My story is quite deeper than this but I’m not a long writer so I just touched the most important part.

I will probably come back here in a year time or 2 years to write my progress in life . Thanks for reading

Try PR migration Canada/Australia. Stay positive man

Life's spiritual
Nothing just happens
Did you pray about your situation at all?
Like the popular saying
Good things need prayer the way bad situation also needs prayer

Crazy how life works. I believe every man has faced a similar, or even tougher, situation, but what matters is that we keep pushing. I have had nights where suicide seems like the only possible option, but then I sleep for a while and when I wake up in the morning, I immediately start looking for a solution. The solution will always come once you really push and dedicate yourself to a finding a way out. My advice here is that if you keep trying the same thing over and over again, with no success, it's time to change your strategy.

Life's tough man. It has always been and it will only get tougher. Like one popular meme or video says, "surviving is winning. No matter what, survive!"