NewStats: 3,264,681 , 8,184,401 topics. Date: Thursday, 12 June 2025 at 01:13 AM 5m69v

My wife and I are expecting our first child, so currently I'm saving up money before the baby comes, we are also trying to get baby things of almost 400k.

But she wants me to buy Christmas rice for her mom. I've already decided that I'm not buying anything for anyone this December, including my own mom. But she wants me to buy for her mom which I refused becauze my baby is more important.
Mind you, she has elder ones who can't even get anything for their mom this December (she's the youngest). I just lied to her that I'm broke and I don't have any money. But I have close to 1.7 million which I want I to save for the baby and also get a car for when the baby comes.

I'm I making the right decision by ignoring everyone this December or should I take like 100k and just buy a bag of rice and share to the mom.

Personally I don't want to spend a dime on anyone because my child is the most important thing right now

Stingy man!

If she is the type of woman wey they try, buy for her. But I’d she is the sturborn type dont buy anything for her.

Tell her to get the rice for her mum with her own money if she feels her mum is badly in need of it. Don't under any circumstances give into her pressure or emotional blackmail. Once you start, the entitled behaviour and demands won't stop. However I don't your idea of not wanting to give anytime a dime. Tis the season of sharing love and gifts. Gift at your own discretion

But OP you did not try, you have a whooping sum of 1.7m I see no reason why you shouldn't allow ur mother in law have atleast 1m outta the money. and since the budget for the baby is 400k, you'd be left with 300k. Man you'll still have alot at ur disposal

Oga, show love by buying a big of rice and share to both families it will not prevent you from getting things you will need for your baby. Beside, she will be the one to come and do umugwo for you baby

I've already decided that I'm not buying anything for anyone this December, including my own mom. But she wants me to buy for her mom which I refused becauze my baby is more important.

A wife that can't afford one bag of rice for her mother is a BIG liability to her husband.

- A man will kneel and beg a woman to marry him.

- Same man will pay bride price

- Same man will organize and foot the weeding bills.

- Same man will pay for hospital bills

- Same man will also take care of the wife's family

All just for procreation?

Wetin man dey gain for marriage

Offpointng:

But OP you did not try, you have a whooping sum of 1.7m I see no reason why you shouldn't allow ur mother in law have atleast 1m outta the money. and since the budget for the baby is 400k, you'd be left with 300k. Man you'll still have alot at ur disposal

Did you read the part where he said he's not getting anything for his own mom. Besides the wife has elder siblings who can take it upon themselves to contribute money to get their mother rice even if it's 25kg. If they choose not to do so why should he?

Valoromega:
My wife and I are expecting our first child, so currently I'm saving up money before the baby comes, we are also trying to get baby things of almost 400k.

But she wants me to buy Christmas rice for her mom. I've already decided that I'm not buying anything for anyone this December, including my own mom. But she wants me to buy for her mom which I refused becauze my baby is more important.
Mind you, she has elder ones who can't even get anything for their mom this December (she's the youngest). I just lied to her that I'm broke and I don't have any money. But I have close to 1.7 million which I want I to save for the baby and also get a car for when the baby comes.

I'm I making the right decision by ignoring everyone this December or should I take like 100k and just buy a bag of rice and share to the mom.

Personally I don't want to spend a dime on anyone because my child is the most important thing right now

You can do the small you can but make sure it is for both your mom and her's!

ikeno:
Oga, show love by buying a big of rice and share to both families it will not prevent you from getting things you will need for your baby. Beside, she will be the one to come and do umugwo for you baby

I've thought about this and it's a very good reason. I won't lie, when it comes to my pregnant wife and the baby, my mother inlaw will go through hell for them. When the baby is born she will be the one to do the caring. I think I'll sacrifice 100k to buy the rice and other things for both my mom and my mother in law. But I tell me wife I bought it on credit ( the seller is close to us)

If she can't buy rice for her own mom. I think she is a liability.

ikeno:
Oga, show love by buying a big of rice and share to both families it will not prevent you from getting things you will need for your baby. Beside, she will be the one to come and do umugwo for you baby

1.7m in Tinubu's Nigeria is rubbish. No thanks to inflation and high dollar rate.

Do you know that at child both a considerable amount of that money would go into the hospital expenses. After being discharged from the hospital, there are still other things you'll have to keep buying.

Baby soap and cream.

Napkins.

Baby milk formular.

Baby clothes.

Routine medical checkup.

Coupled with your regular household expenses.

If he does this consistently for 3 months, that 1.7m would finish.

My brother you wan spend 400k ontop baby things? Abeg wetin u dey buy. My daughter is 2 weeks now. The mama spent only 100k for every thing. During delivery na C/S she use. I pay 300k for everything cos na private ward she dey.
If u get that kind money wetin come be 9k for 10kg rice wey u no fit buy for ur mother inlaw. Abeg guy man dey relax make ur wife no do u bad after child birth. Dem dey craze once dem born finish. U go hear say she carry pikin japa.

It's because rice is very expensive now that's why you and your wife are having issues about it. Your wife sef couldn't save money from January till date to buy rice for her mother?
Anyways, it's not a must you buy a 50kg bag of rice. You can buy 25kg for her and your mum each. Both mothers deserve it. E never reach to quarrel with your wife

Zonefree:


A wife that can't afford one bag of rice for her mother is a BIG liability to her husband.

- A man will kneel and beg a woman to marry him.

- Same man will pay bride price

- Same man will organize and foot the weeding bills.

- Same man will pay for hospital bills

- Same man will also take care of the wife's family

All just for procreation?

Wetin man dey gain for marriage

You gain responsibility and man of the house. That's what you gain and your offsprings littered unkept if you withdraw from you'd duty.

Valoromega:
My wife and I are expecting our first child, so currently I'm saving up money before the baby comes, we are also trying to get baby things of almost 400k.

But she wants me to buy Christmas rice for her mom. I've already decided that I'm not buying anything for anyone this December, including my own mom. But she wants me to buy for her mom which I refused becauze my baby is more important.
Mind you, she has elder ones who can't even get anything for their mom this December (she's the youngest). I just lied to her that I'm broke and I don't have any money. But I have close to 1.7 million which I want I to save for the baby and also get a car for when the baby comes.

I'm I making the right decision by ignoring everyone this December or should I take like 100k and just buy a bag of rice and share to the mom.

Personally I don't want to spend a dime on anyone because my child is the most important thing right now

She has money ooo.. but she will never use it. Your money is sweeter. Anyways.. I think 100k is not bad. Its how women are wired. U should buy it

Offpointng:


But OP you did not try, you have a whooping sum of 1.7m I see no reason why you shouldn't allow ur mother in law have atleast 1m outta the money. and since the budget for the baby is 400k, you'd be left with 300k. Man you'll still have alot at ur disposal

you are wicked ooo

Klass99:
You are making a very sensible decision and I applaud you for it. You didn't have to lie about being broke sha, you would have told her hoha everything you said here. If she wants a bag of rice so badly for her mother let her make it happen from her own pocket and bank na.

I say this as a woman who is sick and tired of seeing men on this forum behave like sissies, allowing their wives/women, to dictate or run things anyhow. For example, she mounts pressure on you for a 3rd or 4th child and you succumb, she mounts pressure about japa/relocation, you succumb and start running yourselves into financial debt, she mistreats the help and you stay silent, claiming women are powerful like that or some sort of nonsense to that effect which you people say.

I read comments at times by male s and think to myself when will some of these jackasses, be the men that they were created to be and lead their households right? You do the heavy financial lifting but allow someone to add to that financial burden with an extra child, an extra mouth to feed and more school fees to pay, when there was nothing wrong with the two kids you had already.

Children are expensive and you are preparing well for your first child, don't allow anyone derail you from that plan. Is it not the same rice we have been eating since the beginning of the year? What is now special about a bag of rice for Xmas? I really hate the pressures people mount on themselves and others during this season, we have turned the whole matter into something else.

Meanwhile I have a bag of 50kg rice for sale at 50k .

I love you for this baby

Buy a bag and share btw the moms or just divide the money into two and send to them.

You r buying 400k baby stuff for the on coming baby, you r not serious, get few good stuff and get your mother in law even if it's half bag and still save some money. 150k can buy ur baby stuff.

This sort of event is the reason majority of men do not discuss their finance or savings with their wives. Some women do not care about tomorrow. They won't stop until you finish what you've got on limitless needs.

Since you're having your first baby, I'll like to believe you're new to this marriage thing, so please go ahead and gift your parents something. If this is your first Christmas as a married man, try to do something. That's a sensible thing to do. And no, you don't have to buy a bag of rice. That's too much for an expectant father with a life savings of less than 2m. If your wife continues to think in this manner, just prepare your mind to relocate to the village.

You r buying 400k baby stuff for the on coming baby, you r not serious, get few good stuff for your baby and get your mother in law even if it's half bag for 25k and still save some money. 150k can buy ur baby stuff.

Okere18:
You r buying 400k baby stuff for the on coming baby, you r not serious, get fee good stuff and get your mother in law even if it's half bag and still save some money. 150k can buy ur baby stuff.

150k? Is it for ewa or garri? Please don't have a baby with this mindset. You're clearly not ready. We are in 2023 not 2020.

For peace of mind;

Baby things - budget 300k upwards
Another 300k-1m for emergency or elective CS.

Nazgul:

1.7m in Tinubu's Nigeria is rubbish. No thanks to inflation and high dollar rate.

Do you know that at child both a considerable amount of that money would go into the hospital expenses. After being discharged from the hospital, there are still other things you'll have to keep buying.

Baby soap and cream.

Napkins.

Baby milk formular.

Baby clothes.

Routine medical checkup.

Coupled with your regular household expenses.

If he does this consistently for 3 months, that 1.7m would finish.

Why would he do that consistently...

Valoromega:
My wife and I are expecting our first child, so currently I'm saving up money before the baby comes, we are also trying to get baby things of almost 400k.

But she wants me to buy Christmas rice for her mom. I've already decided that I'm not buying anything for anyone this December, including my own mom. But she wants me to buy for her mom which I refused becauze my baby is more important.
Mind you, she has elder ones who can't even get anything for their mom this December (she's the youngest). I just lied to her that I'm broke and I don't have any money. But I have close to 1.7 million which I want I to save for the baby and also get a car for when the baby comes.

I'm I making the right decision by ignoring everyone this December or should I take like 100k and just buy a bag of rice and share to the mom.

Personally I don't want to spend a dime on anyone because my child is the most important thing right now

Your child is your blud fam. She isn't.

Okere18:

Why would he do that consistently...

You eat everyday in your house, you spend money on daily activities...that's what I mean by consistently. More like reoccurring expenditure. It's always there and you'll keep doing it.

In the case of a new born, cream, soap, napkins, baby milk...etc. would keep coming up. And these things aren't cheap. He's wife would be on a special diet as a breast feeding mother.

His wife's mom would definitely come for omugwo, of which her expenses would be on his head. Plus cost of running the house. If you sit down and do your calculations hasn't the 1.7m finished?

That money wouldn't carry his family till Easter next year. Not with the kind of inflation we're experiencing. Unless he has a stable source of income where he can always fall back to.

Tell me you're joking.
@op please stick to your guns!

Offpointng:


But OP you did not try, you have a whooping sum of 1.7m I see no reason why you shouldn't allow ur mother in law have atleast 1m outta the money. and since the budget for the baby is 400k, you'd be left with 300k. Man you'll still have alot at ur disposal

Acidosis:


150k? Is it for ewa or garri? Please don't have a baby with this mindset. You're clearly not ready. We are in 2023 not 2020.

For peace of mind;

Baby things - budget 300k upwards
Another 300k-1m for emergency or elective CS.

300k for baby things oga mi?
I think it's on the high side sha o.
Only if they're buying the consumables in bulk.

I don't understand these kind of men on this forum . Always complaining.... I thought you guys are supposed to be the head of the family ni.