NewStats: 3,263,990 , 8,182,174 topics. Date: Monday, 09 June 2025 at 08:05 AM 6ej25

jamesversion:


I can be there for you sexually if you are beautiful. And occasionally help financially. If you're interested.

My sexual desires have dried up (my mindset since there is no legal man to take care of it )

So thanks but no thanks.

maxti:
You will be alright.
Nothing to be ashamed of, neither should you worry about any mockery.

You need to discuss the of divorce properly to accommodate needs of the kids.

Staying financially stable is one important factor.

You might be vulnerable at this point, dont allow anyone take advantage of you.

Lastly, life isn't a competition. Don't be moved by what happens next on the life of your ex.

A Neighbor got divorced with 4 kids, because he ex remarried, she rushed to get married too.
She paid for everything by herself and it didn't end well.

Live your life, you will be fine.

Thanks so much.

MajesticKris:
DM me for Any Assistance you so desire... I'm based in Lagos.. Cute and Highly recommended..

LOL...

ebenezerdaniel:
Please consider the children.

Yeah it's because of them I was willing to try again but their dad rushed to court to seek for divorce all because of multiple strange women.

Isokoboy:
If there is a way to remain in that marriage...work it out and remain....you guys don't know the psychology effect it will have on the children.... U really don't know

It is well.

Thanks Isokoboy

dahmie2013:
It is well sister. The Lord is your strength. Let your children be your motivation. Be focused on them and please don't let them hate their father.

Hate their father? God forbid.

Infact when they want to visit him, I always encourage them to play with him very well. I tell them... Make sure you jump on his body plenty times and let him carry you.

He must be part of their lives. No be him sperm contribute form them?

MeghaneMorgane:
It is well. Just love yourself. See if you can reconcile things with your husband.

Thanks.
The matter is before God. His will will be done.

BigDawsNet:
Where you based?

Divorce can be pretty expensive
It's fine you have been separated for a while...u won't feel abandoned

They may likely share 2kids under ur custody
the third may you if your Exhubby is too busy to take care of kids

He will get time to spend with them and you can't deny him by law..

He will take care of their expenses from school fee, feeding and other amenities..

Don't expect anything from him...he doesn't owe you nothing anymore

You may likely get some part of his properties, depends on how the law stands in ur present location...

Move on and you will find your new man

Make dis a lesson and let it help you build your next home...don't repeat any mistakes and all will be well


Goodluck

It would have been so good if it's going the way you analyzed it.

Matter of fact he has refused to pay the kids school fees.

Yet I happily let him take the kids every fortnight (3 days) so they can bond and see their daddy.

Richy4:
It is not the end of the world dear.. Just go to Google and type that head line question u wrote up there, it will bring so many options for you to choose.... Read it with open mind and take the one applicable to your situation.

The area that I'm interested in is about the kids welfare... Please try and be completely honest with them and no criticism of each other or blame game when explaining that it didn't work out with their dad...So that u won't bring up damaged kids.. who will grow up hating men/ women or disliking marriage...

I ensure I say nice things about their dad to my kids. It will definitely backfire on me if I try to make them hate their dad.

That is wrong.

davidadenrele:
Hello,
First of all i salute your courage for been able to come out and ask for advice, been a divorcee can be challenging for a woman in typical Nigerian society however i see you forging ahead since you are not afraid, you will have to work very hard let be honest having a kid is not that easy not to talk of 3kids, may I asked you did you request for child in court while you filing for divorce through your lawyer because you will need child from your kids father, it's either it's paid in weekly or monthly and its has to be something substaining for you and your kids.

Secondly you have to either work twice or get a business that will help you finance your kids financial burden without you being a burden to your friends and family at this moment Nigeria economy is not smiling at all, it's not easy out there trust me people will give assurance not worry that they will you it's all a lie no one cares everybody is struggling to survive now in Nigeria. aside yahoo plus boys and ritualist, and politicians.

You will have to sit down a make a plan on how you intend to provide for your kids every month, your house rent, feeding, school fees, extra school needs, what kids of now are days can't do without like bobo, biscuits, sweets and stuffs. Let me be honest with you it's not going to be easy I know of a divorcee with kids it's not an easy task, but with God on your side you will be fine at the end. You will need you will need assistance and you will your immediate family around you if it's only you it would have been better having to take care of kids in Nigeria of today is like climbing Mount Everest because of their excessive demands, they keep calling Mummy we want this we want that!! You have to be firm with your kids, at the same don't be too rigid and don't be too gentle when applying discipline where necessary at the same time montior them they could embrassed you if your not careful cos when they go hungry they could expose you unintentionally to your next neighbour cos at that moment what they cared about is there belly as its possible if you don't arrived from work in time for them to go and into your next neighbour house will not be a thing of shame to them afterall they have friends as next neighbour. Restrict them from collecting things from strangers, monitor them very well to avoid sexual pedophiles who could take advantage of no father figure in their lives. Provide quality to ensure they do their home work and take their studies seriously.

On a final note be you a Christian or Muslim ensure they observed prayers and good home moral training it's well with you.

Thanks Dave.
I appreciate.

Eddygourdo:
it appears you really didn't want a divorce. So why didn't you work things out.

No I don't want the divorce. I am only granting it because he asked for it because even if I don't, the judge is still going to grant it anyway after all the back and forth.

sisisioge:
Hmmmm.....no apparent shame or mockery unless you go telling the people you're divorce. Most people would assume that you are married or your husband is out of town. The issue will be when you start dating again, people that know you would wonder why you are following a guy you're not married to....they will assume you're cheating.

Biko move to another apartment, change jobs if you can, change your wardrobe, learn some new things and start afresh. Life will go on....good luck.

Thanks a lot.

ednut1:
Nothing fun there in nigeria. To find love again will be hard, when konji hold you na small boys around you go dey nack in secret . Men and woman abeg let your marriage work

Don't worry. I no go knack small boys.

It can't happen.

I go hold myself Wella.

FERNANDEZISBACK:

What shame?what mockery huh..?
Are you trying to please brainless persons or what?
Let them talk live your life..you are bothering yourself unnecessarily..
** am a single mum of **** so I see no big deal there..

[b]Now coming to solution are the kids gonna be in your custody or his?[/b]look life as a divorced woman is quite strenuous..from stereotype to being alone to your mental health to the daft society who are always gonna criticize you..

Just get hold of yourself and wave it off..as a divorced woman I bet you gonna be more self confident.. productive and enjoy your life more..follow your ion and take care of yourself properly.. welcome to the club of unlimited merriment..

Thanks MA.

To your question, we are in court and the custody ish is one of the issues we are tackling but currently they are with me and every 2 weeks, they visit him for a weekend.

signature2012:

In Naija,that’s the reality.You just have to over look many things and face your life.
It won’t be easy at all.Having 3 kids below age 10 will be a lot of work.
Last last,you will be fine .

Honestly it's not even easy. I get overwhelmed most times and just wish I can have some time to rest.

God has been my source of strength.

madone:
Just make sure u remarry. You will be fine . Keep urself beautiful

Is it That easy?

obiekunie01:
hmmm.

How about living for Jesus Chris? Try it and you won't regret.

It's what I am doing currently

I hope the killers are caught. RIP to him.

Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc