NewStats: 3,265,520 , 8,187,077 topics. Date: Sunday, 15 June 2025 at 02:35 PM 3wv2j

AllBlack:
Number one experts on this kind of crap is the group of people called New generation Christians with their slogan IT IS NOT MY PORTION like the person who has been met with some horrendous misfortune just happened to be predestined for such PORTION.
Another favourite cloak of theirs is DESTINY.
The way they mention it like everything has been revealed to them.

Look at all the carnage in Benue and Jos. Look at all the tanker explosions, kidnappings and even our collective agony under a long set of bad governments; Whose portion or destiny is it?

Rule number 1, never think it can't happen to you

danvon:
Good write up.

I think another side of this 'it can never be me' is also religion, specifically Christianity.

Christianity transformed all accidents and unfortunate events of life into (A) Revenge of God (Karma) or (B) A trial by God.

This completely robs all unfortunate events of its innocence.

I agree 💯. Religion can sometimes be extreme with their beliefs.
It can never be me in a religion setting, makes it feel like other people don't have access to God! And they all have issues because of that.

So in the context of " it can never be me" religious people assume that by virtue of proclamation they are exempted

This is probably the default reaction to a bad incident. The average person believes in the reject system as a coping mechanism amidst a terrible situation.
For example
Bad marriage ( it can never be me)
Losing wealth ( it can never be me)
Domestic violence ( it can never be me)
Plane crash ( it can never be me)

Surprisingly it keeps happening over and over again, this time to a different person who at a point might have said " it can never be me".
We are by default attracted to a good life, I doubt anyone would want to put themselves in a terrible situation out of boredom or some flimsy excuses.
So it's amusing that something beyond human control is treated with such levity.

Faith , words of affirmation and declarations are beautiful, as it is a motivation to achieve. A positive mindset that keeps the mind focused and determined. But is it enough to avert an accident?
Why do you think it could never be you in that bad relationship, accident, fire outbreak, disaster and several terrible situations?
Maybe some situations can be managed with better decision making,
Maybe it's a situation of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, Life is unpredictable.

In my opinion uncertainty is a fact in life and it cannot be managed. Everything is flexible except death.
There are situations that can be averted with better preparation and luck ( luck is a strong factor), but a lot of things are beyond human control.
You cannot be careful enough!
It's okay to be positive ( luck and hope should be your mantra)
I hope it doesn't happen to me, (it is a far better reaction )than outrightly believing it cannot happen to you because you assume,
your lifestyle is safe
Your security is tight
Your investment is enough
Your experience would help you navigate.

A plane crash spares no one.
Life is indeed unpredictable and luck will forever be a factor.
Exceptions like they say don't negate the rule!

Samantha125:
I like minding my business and I always tell people to let me know in case I unintentionally offended them so I can apologize, because one thing about me, I like joking around and those who don't understand my personality might easily get offended sometimes, especially my gender... We tend to get offended by minor things that could easily be resolved and it can be annoying sometimes.

I this one time a female security guard from my residence back in varsity reported me to the residence manager for allegedly insulting her when she was the one who misunderstood me... In the beginning, she didn't even seem offended with what I said, she just kept quiet and reported me to the manager... She's Venda by tribe and even though she's fluent in Sepedi, the one she spoke is from a different dialect from mine, because mine is deep... I was surprised to receive a call from the residence manager summoning me... And luckily for me, the residence manager knew me and even though she was a Tswana by tribe, she was already familiar with how I spoke my Sepedi... I had to explain to the security guard that what I said wasn't an insult, but it's how we normally speak in my Sepedi dialect and had she asked me to clarify what I said to her, I'd have gladly did... But this lady kept giving me attitude until I apologized for peace's sake even though I didn't do anything wrong.

It's beautiful that you hold yourself able.
That's a good trait.
In a friendship, relationship or whatever, be concerned with giving and not receiving, that's how to be fulfilled.

Samantha125:
I only have one ex and we parted ways peacefully... I don't think he'd consider me as wicked.

You will be surprised at what people say behind you.
Always speak for yourself. Don't assume that you know what anyone thinks about you.
It's not necessarily about your ex, it could be a friend or even family that you assume is a problem when in retrospect you are the problem

Samantha125:
Well, as for me, I don't have a wicked ex...😊😊😊

Maybe to someone else, you are the wicked ex.

Everyday is a struggle for survival, everyone is hustling for a space on the table. In a ploy to get ahead we are willing to destroy whatever obstacle is on the way without minding whose ox is gored.
Human to human relationships is one of the most difficult because everyone acts from their perspective and personal beliefs ( most times it's against others)

Everyone thinks they're not the problem,
They probably deserve a good friend. We are quick to point a finger at a supposed bad ship without looking inwards.
What if you ain't shit?
What if you are a bad person?
What would you do if you are in a similar position to what you judge? Would you handle it differently

Everyone has a wicked ex, a back biting friend, a stingy and proud friend, a bad advisor, a sad friend, a trouble making friend, a cheating friend.
I can go on and on and on!
If everyone is pointing fingers, who then is guilty?

Hypocrisy is such a bad card!
When we are faced with the difficult situation, there is a consensus agreement that kind people are rare,
good women are scarce,
good husbands are scarce,
So if there are limited good people with moral values and virtues, why is no one itting to fucking up a good thing?

I killed to earn a living ( survival instinct)
I snitch to get a favor ( they will probably do the same to me)
I slept with his boyfriend ( someone else did with mine)
I broke her heart ( that's the only way to heal)
We always have reasons to justify our acts and decisions.

The blame game is sickening and it's probably due to lack of ability on our part.
If you take out time to think , you will definitely see your flaws. Why is it difficult to accept especially in public?
Identify your strengths and weaknesses
Seek people's honest opinion about you.
It's okay to ask someone what they honestly think about you?

Change is constant and ability is key.
Maybe you need to stop pointing fingers,
What if you are really a bad person?

A lot of people are watching!
If you have a super power to see the abstract, you will be surprised at the amount of people watching you secretly.
Maybe they want you to fail or they are just curious. Some are waiting to see the end result, while only a tiny fraction genuinely want to see you win.

Everyday you show up , someone sees you
When you fail to show up, another person is seen.
If you continually refuse to show up, more people are seen and you go down the radar.
What does it tell you?
Everyone that comes across you is watching
Not everyone would drop a comment,
Not everyone would leave a like or a positive review about your life and business in general.
It could be the ego or the innate nature of humans to associate with success.
Whatever it is, know that a shadow of eyes are noticing.

Your enemies want to see you fail and they are constantly watching every thing you do.
Their facial expressions are mean, their body language is unreceptive, they eagerly want you to fail, but they have one weakness which is CURIOSITY.
That's the face of a hater, the mind of a fan!
A fan is the first to check your page,
Buy your book,
Read news about you.
A fan literally follows everything you!

That's your cue!
Channel your mind to see the positive and take advantage of it.
How do I leverage on this free followership and visibility?
How do I put up a good show for the ghost watchman?
The mind of a fan is forever curious to know what's next about his favorite celebrity.. Fans don't know when to stop, they are extremists and loyalist in the same accord.

The hater is not going to stop until you fail, so there's no lack of motivation.
They are a constant reminder of why you need to get that deal, that exams and make that money!
Don't be that celebrity who lost a loyal fan because he couldn't sell his talent beyond the surface level.

Hey Man there's a party just across the street, bad ass girls, weed, raunchy games and mad fun! Let's go chill and unwind.
If your answer is "NO", they try to shame you with a boring tag and gaslight you into thinking you're about to miss out on the best there is.

Let's go to the club
Let's go light some weed
Let's go Bleep some good pussy

Notice the pattern?
It's never about your benefits and self improvement.
They all go mute when it's time to put you up for business.
If you put a call through" about needing a business or money" then their tone changes.
" I'm not sure you can do this" " the business ain't all that profitable" " networking is just a mirage" ( the excuses are so loud)
If you think I could have fun with you, why not put me on how to break bread with you?

Society is normalizing recklessness as a personality trait, until you run into a deep mess and then you are another casualty ( expendable).
Boring is not a person, rather a mood!.
The same guy who refuses to club today can become a party animal on his birthday or another event. It's all about how you are feeling, and your priority at a particular time.

Refuse the boring tag as an assessment of your value as a person. Reputation is such an asset in the world today, and it could be your only leverage when there's a room full of opportunities without you in it.
Guard your time and accessibility. Be intentional with your values and standards.
Don't let society decide what is fun for you, unless you become a pawn in the system.

The question always ends the same way.
Did anyone force you?
You already know the answer to that.

Ego clouds rationality!
In a woman and Man relationship dynamic, the ability to read signs, body language, words, actions will determine how successful you get.
Logic is your best bet as a Man, because it helps you make decisions that are beneficial to your well being ( emphasis on beneficial).

The average Man thinks power is loud, they want to prove and conquer, instead of receiving in abundance. They want to brag about scoring a good goal when the most important rule of a game is to score a goal.
Paying attention to the body language of a woman will tell you if she wants to be with you out of her own will or not.
Her words and actions are a reflection of her thoughts, as so should be your source of ability.

Most guys know when a woman doesn't want them, but they think they have the ability to change, convince or subdue her against her initial will.
The money game starts ( maybe I should give her more money)
Attention spamming ( maybe I should call her more)
Overlooking her excesses ( condoning disrespect and lack of ability)
All of which takes off your only valuable currency.
The only power that a Man has over a woman without mincing words is YOUR ABILITY TO WALK AWAY.

What beats my imagination is that a Man knows when a woman likes him, he has probably fumbled one before.
It's the easiest thing to know!
So why will you subject yourself to ridicule because of your Ego.
Have you no respect for yourself?
A woman would boldly tell you she has men kneeling and begging her just to take his call ( there is no lie in this whatsoever, the average man is shamefully obsessed with sex even if it costs him losing respect).

It's okay if she says NO( walk away)
If she doesn't reply to your text ( walk away)
If she doesn't take or return your calls ( walk away)
The real power is your ability to walk away.
The only exception to this rule is giving her the benefit of doubt by addressing the issue just once.( Express your displeasure)
If she doesn't change, then it's your cue to move on!

Women are arguably the sweetest when they like and care for you, in the same vein they are ruthless when they do not want you.
A woman who is interested in you will make it obvious, very obvious. They may not necessarily approach you but they will give you signs that even if you were a novice you will know they are interested.
Genuine desire cannot be negotiated!
If she's not interested let her be.

Don't forget your ability to walk away is your ultimate currency!

To have a beautiful life is to have money.
It might come off as a very shabby and materialistic mindset, but in the end everything revolves around getting money.

The problem with money is that the demand is greater than supply which makes it difficult to access. In the midst of chasing it we are exposed to other means of getting by, at a point it becomes a clash between what is right and what is needed.

How do you navigate such a tricky situation?
It sounds like an easy decision until you are faced with a real life situation where you have to make a choice.
Mind you in the context of provision both decisions are good because they lead you to a different path.

A practical example of the above is,
If your daughter needs urgent medical care ( life and death situation) and you don't have enough money to cater for her medical bills, but you have the key to a safe where you work and then you break in at night.
You decide to take a few dollars out without the company knowing and someone else takes a fall for that sole decision but your daughter is hale and hearty.
A part of you is proud of saving your daughter, while the other side judges you for ruining another person's life.

This is the first time you have ever been in such a dilemma.
You are fighting the thought of confessing because your daughter needs a present father and you can't afford to be locked up.
Who will care for her?
But then an innocent person is in prison for your sins!
If you hesitated and listened to your morals, would you be able to sleep at night knowing that your daughter would be alive if you took a different decision.
Now you have to live with the guilt.


Whenever you put your morals to the test against money, you are subconsciously losing your ability to put humanity first.
What you do when no one is watching is a true test of your character especially when it's a decision that goes against what you stand for.

Mind you most people will also make the same decision as you. If an opinion poll is put up , the majority will your decision albeit anonymously, which is a validation the brain needs to accept your choice as right.
What will your morals say?
I guess it will understand that you needed to save a life and that is the right decision even if it's against your core values or in this case societal values since you already went against it.

One of problems associated with a bad friendship, heartbreak or betrayal is the act of getting defensive and sensitive, there by Losing the naivety that makes you open minded.

We start to care about not being treated the same way, even when it's glaring that the situation is different and it's a new person.
Every move is questioned.
What is the motive behind the compliment?
Am I doing too much?
Maybe I should wait for the first message?
The above keeps ringing inside your head.

The crazy thing is a part of you justifies this supposed metal awareness, you validate every curiosity with " protecting your heart".
And then it becomes obvious in the long run that the other party too feels this way.
Who breaks the ice?
When two people have the same conditioning, who is willing to be the bigger person?

The genuine dove-like attitude becomes lost in the game, it becomes stressful to bond.
Your mind tricks you to find an escape route even before getting locked up.
Quick sex and money becomes the bargaining chip!
It's absurd that when a relationship ends, the first consolation is what was obtained in the transaction ( mostly sex and money).

There's the lack of ability.
Zero positives!
Then the blame game starts,
A part of you says " I knew it would end abruptly, that's why I didn't give it my best shot".
At least we had sex and I got money, so I'm not on the losing side.

Why do we equate sex and money to a win?
Maybe if you were more honest and intentional it would turn out differently.
It's all about mentality shift, going into a relationship with the mindset of sharing and impacting, not the expectation of what is in it for you.
Genuine desire cannot be negotiated.
Our consolation should come from a place where I did my best but I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

But can we really blame someone who refuses to start and participate in a game , instead of playing with uncertainty.
Just maybe the first call would actually rob you of your powers to walk away when it gets tough.
Just maybe the first call opens you to a vulnerability that would cost your peace and sanity.
Emphasis on " maybe".
Assumption is never clarity and it's a two edged sword.
What if it goes your way and what if it doesn't?

I guess we will never know!
Make the first call today and learn to pour in, if ever your values are threatened in any way then you can leave with your shoulder up and blurt out" I gave it my best shot".

At what point does expectation transgress into entitlement?
Morally a good deed is expected to be reciprocated though obligatory, which leaves us in a quandary with regards to what constitutes entitlement .

The same group of people that assume a person is entitled for trying to leverage on friendship, family or past deeds is quick to cry foul when he/she is in a position where expectancy is neglected.
Maybe entitlement should be categorized into types.( Thinking out loud)

It's only logical for someone to expect that a past favor be returned in future even if the expectation can't be quantified. I think where the problem lies is when a person puts a tag on what is deserving of them.
For instance if John shares a loaf of bread with peter , he expects Peter to give him at least two loaves if he has 6 loaves.

John's argument to this expectation is that he shared his only loaf with Peter and should therefore be deserving of at least two due to the abundance of bread at Peter's disposal.
Would john have given Peter two loaves if he had six? ( I guess we would never know)

Is John greedy?
It's a two way thing in my opinion, because intent and sacrifice when considered places John's benevolence towards Peter as more of a needing act of kindness.
It's quite arguable but logical.

If Peter refuses to give John two loaves, does it make him a bad person?
Is John right to feel offended?

Entitlement in its true form lacks the needed flexibility to be an outright wrongdoing because morals and emotions will always be considered.

Another scenario, if Abel gives tips on how to run a business, he expects a certain kind of compensation when profit arises. Morally it is excusable, but could be referred as an act of emotional guilt tripping to the business owner. How contradictory! Which begets the question.

IS ENTITLEMENT PREFERENTIAL TOWARDS MORALS AND SENTIMENTAL TO OBLIGATION?

A conundrum ensues when dealing with family, spouse, kids as they seem to represent a merge between obligation and morals, which eliminates the bias of sitting on the fence.

However it is represented, there is an imbalance in what justifies entitlement as per human relationship.
Negotiating entitlement is probably the only way to navigate through.

We all have the dream of getting married to a rich partner ( especially women), the life of luxury, vacation in different countries, the best of clothes, food and most importantly providing our kids a comfortable life.

But there seems to be a barricade that just wouldn't get out of the way. "Reality"!!

Reality says NO! And it sucked.
It's like a huge blow to the face.
There is just not enough wealth to go round and then it boils down to factors that are mostly not in our control. ( Luck, information, connections and time)

The biggest problem with the above is the " belief of exception"..
Every single person assumes they are part of the lucky ones, that inherit the wealth roaming aimlessly, so it leads to a tussle between reality and delusion.
Just maybe I'm the exception everyone thinks. Could it be you?

Relationships tend to suffer the most because there is an essential need for provision( a must in most cases), which leads to a high level of classism in society.
The broke wants to latch onto the few wealthy percentage of people available for marriage.

Then the silent battle of classism begins,
The broke discriminate against the broke
The rich avoid the poor
The poor believe there is a rich miracle waiting for them.
Time sits and wonders why both parties can't see it sitting silently.
It ticks away in disappointment!
Who will break the first sweat?

The rich get the cue and form a bond amongst themselves and the few lucky poor ones who hook a tiny fraction of the rich. And then reality hits!
The broke is left with the broke... Time tries to be considerate but instead takes the blame for not speaking up.

Now there is resentment and chaos going on in the broke people's world.
Some who are desperate try to get the left overs from the rich even if it's against their beliefs and standards ( second wives).

Time cries bitterly again.
If only the broke merged with the broke, maybe they would have been out of this shit hole now.
Reality whispers " this is your new home, till death calls".

Time asks sarcastically " who will marry other broke people".?
It may be you, or maybe I, or maybe someone by your side.

The fluidity in men’s libido makes sex a constant insatiability, as there seems to be a peculiar horniness to masculinity. Arguably, it would not be out of place to declare the average man sex starved.

The sexual market is tilted in favor of women having the option for preferences( looks, status and wealth) in Men. Feminine power has grown with impeccable entitlements, room for sieving, above all a source of income.

I totally disagree with the unfounded notion that sees women as cheap with regards to the sexual market. An average looking girl need not show more than a little cleavage, she gets swarmed with all sorts of horniness induced compliments and attention.

On the cheap talk you have the answer!!

A Man's constant craving for sex subconsciously stimulates an inconsequential need to brag after a romp, as it signifies a win in the sexual market.
A Man with numerous sexual partners is considered a god amongst his peers not minding the occasional flake from women who Shames promiscuity.

There have been constant banters referring to men as sexual braggarts (kiss and tell), which seems quite laughable. Sexual braggado by men is a subtle way to keep the fluidity of libido in check. ( Fluidity of libido in the context of this conversation simply means that the average Man has no control over his sexual arousal and needs due to the high level of testosterone).


In the men's world a sexually starved man is considered weak and laughed at, little wonder men pay outrageous fees and acts to get laid.

As weird as it sounds, Man's braggado to getting laid signifies an upturn in value especially when the sex is free.

Humans are naturally information oriented, especially when a supposed higher authority calls the shot. The average human subconsciously reacts to a pathway, and applies whatever principles based on facts and conviction garnered.

A child is blank from birth which makes it easy to assimilate every information without necessarily having a choice to decline or accept. For every information received it is considered right until superior information is ed across which either contradicts, broadens or outrightly dismisses the previous information shared. Ever wondered why cultism still thrives despite several anti cultism teachings? It is called RE-ORIENTATION.

Re-orientation has its uniqueness because of the recurrent evolving cycle. It simply entails that for every orientation there is a counter re-orientation on the subject as long as it is portrayed to be superior to the aforementioned.

For instance a person that is oriented to believe night life is bad, becomes stuck in that ideology until a superior information on how he misses out on clubbing, random sex and what have you. Subsequently the mind assimilates a new reason to believe night life is not as bad as portrayed. It is automatically re-oriented. The same person could still be swayed by a newer information maybe on how instead of partying and clubbing, he or she could get a decent night paying job for extra income. The trick remains as long as the new information is processed as beneficial, re-orientation takes place.

Applying it to society, from prostitution to kidnapping, cultism, fraud, gambling, masturbation and whatever social ills. What is needed is a counter orientation laced with facts and pre-perceived benefits to change a narrative. Emphasis on PRE-PERCEIVED benefits. For re-orientation to take place, the newer information must be considered superior to the former.

The biggest template for human importance in the modern world today is money!
Money is power, Money is love, Money is respect, Money is status. But beyond money, is there any other value that endears a person to a level of utmost importance to others?

It feels like the modern relationship is fickle and superficial, as there seems to be no willingness to build, fight and nurture. The average person is willing to throw away everything at the slightest provocation. Integrity, reliability and loyalty is a mental mirage!

Everyone is replaceable, but no one is the same. Which means we are all a unique being that is associated with different characteristics as a person.
If the above sentiment is upheld, it only means no other person can offer a particular value verbatim. Why then is it easy to move on from a supposed uniqueness and diversity?

Kindness in my opinion is probably the most powerful value any one should possess. Peace, honesty, loyalty, integrity and modesty are attributes I hold in high esteem. Are they enough to keep a relationship/ friendship?
Is anyone willing to chase a value of such especially when it's placed in the opposite tandem with money?

Putting it into an individual delusion, why would anyone be afraid of losing you?
It's your thoughts and it's okay to sell an imaginary idea to yourself and see if it's enough for you to be cherished.
Are you watering others?
Are you a positive champ?
What energy are you associated with?
Are you a peaceful and kind being?
Are you love?

Money is the cheapest form of love, because you don't necessarily have to be a good person and yet you still get loyalty, love and respect in the most conditional form. You are perceived as a provisional status holder, and your importance is based on this piece of paper you seem to have in abundance, until or if you lose it.

It's time to reflect and ponder on your values and attributes that are worthy of human sacrifices and importance.

Money is arguably the number one requirement for a successful transition into adulthood( health aside).
In the chase for money a single person is way different from a married person, as there is a transition into how money is ought to be spent.

The phase of ability, prudence, intentionality and conviction are the deciding factors that rule how money is spent.
The key word in this article is marriage!.
As simple as it sounds, marriage is the quickest way to lose money in the long run as there is little or no room for failure.
Any slip is detrimental to sustainable wealth.
The process of putting your interest below to accommodate other expenses is known as married money.
While single money is the act of putting yourself first in every monetary consideration.

A single person's 5000 is equivalent to a married person's 20000. A lot of people who are faith inclined refuse to acknowledge the huge difference between the two. Faith is a moral recital and it helps a person into taking unrealistic risk which sometimes yield results and most times fail. But reality is not a religion and the chances of such risk yielding fruit is close to zero!

A single person can lose money and yet have time to recoup his/her loses. A single person is allowed to fail. A single person is allowed to be reckless and direction less with money and still enjoy the grace of single money but the expectation and experience is different on the other side of the coin.
Married money is not lenient
Married money is frugal
Married money is impatient
Married money is scared to be lost
Married money is under pressure
Married money cannot give excuses for failure.

Money is a necessity in life.. but the moment it becomes married, it creates a new path that will end in tears or pleasure.
Before any cent is used , always the two types of money and act accordingly.

[quote author=0neal post=135567524]

The goto phrase for people who are either ignorant or not in touch with reality, stuckup in their LaLaLand - "Societal Standards"

To be honest for the average man, from 45years & above if you are not married it will become kind of shameful.

Its biology, not societal standards...anytime i see my colleagues post their kid(s) pix on their status, i know how i feel.

I am a man in my early 30s

Assuming all things goes well, the benefits of marrying early trumps late marriage.

As a man you, if you work on yourself, stay in shape, financially stable, and most espercially God bless you with good looks, at 50 he can still marry a lady half his age.

But these are exceptional men not the normies or the regular joe who are majority.

So a man should use his 20s in developing himself, learning intergender dynamics, stay fit, form connections with other men and build his career or craft.


This is the problem, (societal standards).
You just justified the above by stating what a man is supposed to attain at a certain time frame. So what happens to the few that couldn't meet up due to ( sickness, poverty or lack of education). There is no room for flexibility and it puts pressure on them. Yes a Man is supposed to this, a woman is supposed to this at a certain age, but should they all the thrown away because they couldn't meet up?
The same society standard frown against adoption which in the right sense is an option for women

gtassure:

You are giving bad advice to "40" year old man! Biologically he will have issues with offspring, half old age start at 50! Do you suppose motal humans will live forever?

Would you prefer I told him to commit suicide or grab the next available female and forcefully engage her?
Life is fickle and every decision leads us to a new path. One day maybe we will find a way to enjoy life without societal pressure.
Lastly i find it amusing that adoption is not considered as an option in this part of the world

Nackzy:
I am due for marriage, I am 40 yet not married because there no money, my body needs it

Are you due for marriage because you are 40 Or because you genuinely want a companion and life around you?
Sometimes we allow societal standards determine our course of action. Don't be pressured into anything.
Your priority now should be getting a stable source of income and then you can find a partner to build with ( there is someone out there for you).
Afterwards you can get married and still enjoy your life.

When you pay attention to the intent of a word of advice, then you can gauge if it's from a place of care, concern or disguised mockery.

The " Go and marry" tag falls in line with the disguised mockery often packaged as a genuine concern.
Age, finance and status are mostly the determinant of these fallacious shows of sportsmanship as it is always a subtle way to remind you of your decline.
Rarely does happiness, companionship or even peace of mind be considered as a criteria for the supposed " Go and marry" advice.

Isn't it surprising that if there is a refusal on your part to cling onto the marriage ship, they throw in a subtle jibe and undertone caricature, reminding you of your anticipated decline and risk of losing out in life.
Every other achievement is discarded and you are faced with multiple reasons why you are on your way to doom.

Then the game starts,
Pressure from onlookers
Constant reminder of your lack of purpose (marriage wise)
Subtle jibe and derogatory insinuations
Age shaming and broke shaming.

It's like there is a calculated arrangement to undermine every good thing in your life outside of marriage.
Soon it gets to a stage where the pendulum swings and they become loud, aggressive, judgmental, mean, disrespectful and what have you! Just to sway and hasten your decision.

The question is why do you get offended at my refusal to heed your supposed advice?
Why am I getting mocked all of a sudden?
Why are my achievements secondary to your concerns?
Why do I need to prove my intent of life with marriage?

Think about it slowly!

We are all a product of life and it is expected through procreation to give life too. I understand that sometimes you need a slight push to make future decisions especially when it concerns others.
What I don't understand is why there is pressure to act quickly, a timer to determine my right to what fulfillment entails.
Maybe I'm overthinking, just maybe?

" Go and marry" is far from what it looks like, it has become a source of pain, caricature and a reminder of a looming failure.
The pressure takes a toll on people.
The sigh of relief that comes after marriage is mostly from a place of freedom against the society, instead of a genuine path to a beautiful next chapter.

This is a timely reminder that exclusivity in the modern day relationship is almost non existent ( let's give grace to the 1 percent of exception).
Your defensive instincts will probably tell you it's a farce and ploy to ruin the little fun moment.
Like they say " a blind boyfriend is a good boyfriend", what you don't know doesn't exist as long as there is no prior information.

The side nigga has refused to spill or aim for the bull eye ( your place), that's why you think she's only yours.
It takes a player to tell a good woman and that can only be determined after she es
Test of sexual inclination( a hot body)
Test of lifestyle ( money, fame and glamour)
Test of game ( flirty and cocky iration)
Finally and ultimately the test of secrecy( nobody is going to know)

Men are wired to chase sex and it's only logical that they get together with a woman except for gay Men.
90 percent of the time a Man is chasing a new pussy to conquer for validation sake and it's unlikely he seeks it in a previous romp.
This applies to the average Man which means statistically a lot. What does that tell you?
Men and women cheat at equal pace because a host needs a body to function.
This only implies one thing,
If Men are chasing to conquer a new sexual host every time that is most likely not his girlfriend, it means getting it with a random woman ( another person's girlfriend).
Do the math and ratio.
If 100 men sleep with 4 different girls in a month , that is 400 women.
100 men - 400 women, means 400 cheating women. So whose girlfriend are these women?

Now do the same math with a thousand, a million or whatever number of Men and then you have your answer.
There is a chance that the 1 percent of exception is your woman, but what are the odds really?

Men are blind and egotistical.
Refusing the acknowledgement that women are sexual beings too and as long as there is demand, supply will be in abundance.
A hooker
Pretty privileges
Sex for favors
Hypergamous hunt
How phase
Love and relationship
Sexual attraction.
Women will always get offers in abundance for sexual gratification and it's extremely difficult to turn every offer down except in the case of virginity.

Don't hate the player,
Hate the game!!
Except in marriage where there is moral bound, societal expectations and commitment, you will be surprised at what your little angel is capable of.
The world is pacing and every road leads to sex.
Men are not saints and women in the same vein are capable of every single thing.
No gender is superior in the game.
One is demanding and the other is supplying( business is booming).

Who cares about effort!

At what point do I get a thumbs up?
A silver lining,
A pat on the back and a word of encouragement.
It feels like there is no place for effort until there are results.
Evidence is a prerequisite for hard work, not your sweat, scar or tears.

Who is paying attention to every single brick laid down?
The scars are a constant reminder that you are worth nothing except when you win according to society standards. The people watching you show up everyday are the first to criticize you when the chips are down.

If effort and hard work is the template for success, why is effort disregarded in the face of adversity?
We have raised a society that is afraid of process and ability, instead we are keen on results, not because of gratitude or a sense of accomplishment but a means to prove, validate and conquer the fear of ridicule that is associated with efforts.

A cleaner is most times referred to as " just or ordinary", but if eventually he becomes successful, automatically there is an overwhelming respect. Same person, different reactions.
The end justifies the means they say!
Why is the means treated as thou not existent..?
There is a beginning before the end.
If only we were kinder to the effort,
Just maybe values can be as effective as money.
Just maybe people can function without money while hoping for the best,
Just maybe crime wouldn't be as rampant,
Just maybe the average person can stand a chance when pitted against the rich.

The sweats and tears that come with efforts is a testament of resilience, patience, hardwork, consistency and it should be appreciated and rewarded.

I believe nothing in life is absolute, especially when there is no concrete evidence as to the biological existence of humans.
Almost everything is arguable due to the knowledge of right and wrong.
If there is an advantage then there should be a disadvantage. We grow up into existing ideologies, set ups and doctrines without questioning some of the beliefs even if they don't align with our morals and values as a people.

People aren't inquisitive, they don't ask themselves certain questions. We think things can only be done correctly the way we were taught.
The human mind is vast and should be capable of making an independent decision.

A lot of people are afraid to question the norm due to the fear of backlash. The idea of criticism in private is stale , as it rarely helps any course.
Avoiding conflicts but instigating disagreement in little circles is cowardly.

When the foundation is faulty, the building suffers!
The herd mentality stinks!
Why should a burial ceremony be expensive? It should be a time for sorrow, reflection and solace
Why is marriage rites so complex?
Why can't the Bible be questioned?
Why does the constitution favor the elites?
Why is religion a determinant to morality?

Our ancestors failed to question the system
Our fathers toiled the same path
And now we are scared to speak.
I guess death is the only reality and surprisingly it's unquestionable.

Say a prayer with me to the universe.
I have erred and sinned against the innate sense of good deeds, I have offended the laws of righteousness and virtue, I seek for pardon and strength to persevere.
I wasn't born this way, but I guess money is the root of all evil!
Forgive my shortcomings.
Please blame money and accept my decisions.

In the time of sobriety and calmness, we think about our decisions,
We care about our thoughts and actions,
We are filled with remorse, yet alive in the euphoria of vanity.
What is the purpose of making bad decisions?
Money, Money, Money!!
Please put the blame on Money!

We convince ourselves with the idea of leveling up,
Society is unfair and unkind to the poor,
The decision is almost rigged against you.
How am I expected to scale through life hurdles, when my voice is equivalent to my pocket?

Not regrets, not shame, not even money can erase the guilt!
With clarity comes ability.
Maybe I'm too emotional for this world.
Maybe I deserve to be heard.
It's warm when I get gratification from getting money, but why do I need more?
When is it enough, when will this feeling end?

Yes it's vanity
My decisions are my reality and I accept my vanity!
Condolences to the part of me that are good,
I betrayed the trust of God!
But please put the blame on Money.

It sounds like a farce and an anomaly, but the reality is that the average man in the quest for sex is willing to be humiliated, shamed and embarrassed just for sexual pleasure.

When a woman boldly says " I have men begging me"
" If you don't do it someone else will"
Better believe that shit!!! you will be surprised at the level Men can go to get a sniff of the vagina!

A Man would deny his wife,
Sell out his friends,
Fight and kill just to get laid and you are wondering why women are audacious with their standards.

Just because you're a fine girl send your . How cringe and laughable!

Men have subconsciously enabled entitled women and now they are trying to cower and play victim, Hell no!
What do you mean by a girl asking me for money before she can see me, what do you expect Mr Man?

You are paying to hook up
You pay flight tickets for a total stranger
You entice another Man's woman with money
You buy cars and houses for undeserving women and you dare say women are entitled.
You sick idiot!
Women know when they deserve something that's why they're appreciative of the little things from people they actually love and genuinely care about.

Don't get me wrong it's a Man's nature to provide and it is expected of you to give the best of life to your wife, friends, sisters and loved ones in general, but at least let it be deserving and earned.
Reward a kind woman
Reward an feminine and humble woman
Reward a helper.

This message is a timely reminder that " the snowball you refuse to check in time will become an avalanche tomorrow ".
Now the crows have come home to roost and it can only get worse

I almost forgot the classic line " it's because you can't afford them"

Oh my God!, did you see the car he bought her,
Did you see the money bouquet,
The ring, the diamond, the food, the clothes
He/she is so intentional!
Then the infamous quote rings out loud " an intentional Man/ intentional woman".

With a sprinkle of " awwwn" serenading the atmosphere.
So cute I guess?

Is this truly what intentionality entails or just a way of seeking validation and urging our transactional instincts to survive!
The silence is deafening.......

It's mostly particular with women who attach intentionality to a good deed done by a Man and somehow convince other women ( herd mentality) to put up a standard of receiving expensive gifts as a show of true intent.

But when it comes to an actual moment of intentionality, there is a sudden shift from ability to uncertainty.

Can I get your number? No I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Can I buy you lunch? No I'm sorry, my partner won't like that
Can you wake up late to make your Man food?
Can you help your woman clean when she's tired?
Can you reject a supposed better offer in favor of your partner?
Can you post a picture of your partner with captions that leaves no room for uncertainty?

I'm sure your response is far from No!
I will let you put up your desired answer to fit whatever narrative you have in your mind.
Or does intentionality only mean receiving gifts and favors?
We have bastardized the idea of intentionality and it's worrisome because the younger general is taking a cue from the ridiculous show offs and validation seeking in the name of genuine intentions.

One of my favorite quotes by Corey Wayne is" Going into a relationship with the hope of giving and not what you are willing to receive".

Think about it!

It's always about how he/she looks.
How much is spent
The perfume
The car
The glam and generosity.
Isn't it contradictory that a person in his will to attain success is supposed to save up and invest for a better future ( delayed gratification), yet an important criteria in today's world ,you're judged by your ability to spend unceremoniously, irrespective of whatever you have going on(long term or short term).

The thought of this probably makes sense to you now, but in the position of comparison, a man who spends 5 million naira in the club but has a total of 10 million naira is accorded a certain respect and considered richer than someone who owns a business that makes 200 thousand naira weekly.
How ironical!!

The society is like a doctrine where we just grow up into existing ideologies without questioning the rationale behind such acts / beliefs.
The worship of money subconsciously alters our decision making especially when it's lavishly spent!
The pressure to create a sustainable market in the long run is difficult when there's a lack of patience.
What is the exception? Maybe if somehow you own a fucking house and multi-million naira business and still find a way to be a lavish spender, I guess that would be the proper definition of a successful person in Nigeria.
Poverty is most probably a root cause, but the lack of proper reorientation is a problem.
No one seems to care anymore.
As long as it looks like a snake, it's definitely a snake!

From a logical standpoint when you don't spend or look lavish it's assumed you have nothing going on!
Most of us are the culprits of judgement( the halo effect) which includes me sadly.

Time and time over it keeps happening, Men cannot handle a cheating woman despite the knowledge that a large percentage of women cheat.

The average man is more concerned about ego instead of how he's been treated.

Do I think cheating is bad? Definitely

Do I encourage cheating women? No



This article is focused on paying attention and receiving the best of affection from women, rather than finding solace in exclusive loyalty which is very rare.



In the context of this conversation( a good girlfriend) is someone who puts you first, cooks and cares for you, motivates and assists you in a way that the average girl doesn't.

Now the question beckons, why should I throw all of these attributes and genuine affection away because of who a woman bleeps or makes out with?



Reality is that the average woman cheats and somehow most Men think theirs is a Saint.

So whose babe are other men fucking?!!

Isn't it laughable and quite delusional.

Men need to realize that only in marriage should cheating be a major deal breaker in my opinion.

I'd rather stick to someone that treats me well than choosing a supposed loyal woman who most times is just hiding her shenanigans.



The truth is women love freedom and most of them get swarmed with horniness induced compliments and gifts by so many men every time which makes it difficult to stick to one Man. I think the average Man still finds it difficult to believe women are actually polygamous in nature and it's not gender based.



By all means a cheating woman who doesn't treat you well should be thrown out and shown the exit door, but I still think Men need to leverage on the fact that getting good treatment from a woman should be placed above cheating in a relationship ( marriage apart).



A woman that cooks, cleans, is feminine, grateful, kind , submissive and caring is a rare gem and I could careless if she bleeps another Man as long as she treats me well according to my standards.

This is not gender bias, I'm concerned about Man's inability to leverage on what is beneficial instead of satisfying his ego.

Lastly you don't have to marry a cheating girlfriend ( I have my personal opinion on this), but don't throw away all the good attributes on the ground of her cheating especially if she's very caring and loving.

Oboto700:
idiot.. you spoilt your post when you included Yahoo.. Yahoo no b work.na scams.. Making someone else cry

Are you sick in the head?
Do you lack manners or what?
You could have made your point without insults.
I do not tolerate any form of disrespect, please I beg of you retract your statement.

How do you even call someone who you don't know an idiot simply because you have a supposed different opinion!
I genuinely hope you are not like this in person. Smh!