NewStats: 3,264,470 , 8,183,815 topics. Date: Wednesday, 11 June 2025 at 08:38 AM 6fp6h

LordFriar, do you know Rehab Room?

Onegai:
Phabulous4 and apprentist,

Let me give you small gist.

Like 7/8 years ago, my husband and I lived in a 3 brdm very small apartment. Very messy (because I'm not a Domestic Goddess) and we had 2 kids under the age of 4 (nightmare).

And then our Nanny's uncle's father's grandmother died (translation: she had found a higher paying job) so she quit abruptly.

Leaving hubby and I. That man rolled up his sleeves and became a house-husband after office hours were done.

That particular day, he swept, I cooked, he mopped, I bathed the babies. After that, I looked at this man in his faded tshirt and boxers and he was suddenly looking sexier than Rege Jean Page. And that's how we had unbelievably hot fok, in the corridor of that small flat, no fan, no mattress, nothing. Do you know how hard floor tiles are on your knees when you're blowing off a man Do you know how hard a concrete wall is on your back?? I fokked that man's brains out that night and I would have kept going, if he could do upto 3 rounds before midnight. Even ing that night still makes me Hot.

Now, why did my man get himself a Por.nstar that night?

Well,because of this really old Christian book "Se.x Starts In The Kitchen".

That book said that when you're married, romance is one thing that ignites ion but security and is what keeps it alive.

A woman turns from a Wife to a Mother and everything about her changes.

Mentally, she shifts into Mama Bear and Protective mode for her kids, her entire existence becomes keeping them alive. Especially when they're young (once they hit 8, 10, she couldn't care less if they burn down the house ).

Nothing else matters, because most women are wired like that so that the human species survives. In Nature, the human child is one of the weakest young out there. Antelope are born running, tadpoles swim at birth, but human babies are helpless for 5 years. They require the most protection.

And then add the stresses of work and society and social media being overwhelming.

Your wives are basket cases right now, running on vibes alone. She herself doesn't even know it.

And that's where you come in.

Brothers, your job, your mission (should you choose to accept it ) is to be her PROTECTOR AND SECURITY DURING THIS PERIOD, SO SHE CAN DO WHAT NATURE INTENDED HER TO DO, FOR YOUR CHILDREN.

Which is why sexx starts in the kitchen, which is why I rushed my hubby: because he was ing me so I could be a better Mum.

And that made him so, so sexy in my eyes.

And I am not the only woman like that.

So that's my explanation for what's going on, my next post will be "here's what you're gonna do".

I really pity the men who follow this advice. If you have to do anything beyond just being a normal husband (or anything at all actually) for the normal woman you married to have normal sex with you, then understand that she does not find you sexually attractive.
Then ask yourself: "why did I marry a woman who isn't naturally turned on by me?"

apprentist:
Hello Guys, let me first of all say the cliché "It is well".

Now let we start.
I met my wife years back just before the COVID-19 year during which we dated for almost a year and then eventually got married just when the lock down was reducing. I started this story this way because I wanted to emphasis that during that period, we had so much time to bond and she was mostly available to me as she only worked on shifts 2 to 3 days per week.
We could sit and talk for long, go out at late nights and have great s*x as frequently as we needed.

This I think gave me a mirage of an anticipated marriage life so I didn't hesitate to take it a step further ones the lockdown was relaxed.
I also made it clear to her that her job would have to give way when their kids start coming as I had plans to assist her further her edu and also put up a biz for her.

Speed up to after COVID-19, she resumed work which till this day demands 5 days a week and 2 to 3 Saturdays per month all from 7:45am till 5pm. Often times she'd return home tired and would manage to make dinner and off to bed till the next day circle continues.
It became worse when we started having children. I drive them to school as early as 7:40am before dropping her off at her job. And then I'll pick them up by 5:30pm or 6pm when she's done with her job for the day (let me mention that this extends to public holidays and school holidays or breaks).

I got tired and in December 2025 I told her she has to quit the job. My plan was to enroll her back into a private school after my kids are Upto 4 years as one of them still depends on breast milk. I also gave her the option of starting a business which I understand is a dynamic move and might not be successful, but at this stage of my life it's something I could afford to risk and so I didn't mind.

I must also mention that out of a 100% sex, 50% is not mutual as I could sense she isn't interested and 40% is a denial as she would rather deny me of s*x with the excuse that she is tired.

Simply put, I'm tired.
I'm a Christian and divorce isn't an option. Also I can't cheat, but I am starved of s*x and my kids are not given the attention they deserve.
Pls advice me

Most married men are in a similar situation.
Now that she got married, she thinks that she is in a comfortable enough situation to not fulfill her responsibilities. The fact that you, the man she claims to love and respect, is sexually deprived is the least of her worries.
But if tomorrow, you stop fulfilling your responsibilities (e.g. Stop paying the bills), it will be hell on Earth.
You fulfill your responsabilities because you have to while she only fulfill hers when she fills like it (or after you thoroughly begged/compromised/submitted to her) .
In effect, she is the true head of this household, and the same goes for most households out there.
It is indeed true that most men live lives of quiet desperation.

TheBreastSucker:
I will sue you people for posting my car online with a false story, the actual situation is that I was asking her for directions

emmaodet:
Quote of the day -

I don't care if it's lonely at the top, it is lonely at the bottom too.
At least at the top, I can pay my own bills.

Great quote.

Moniya4Real:

God bless your brainy brain bro. To the ladies; it's all about interest regardless of the man's age.

That's the first time someone said this to me bro. Thank you.

If it was a 40 year old Ned Nwoko, it wouldn't have been a problem.
The real issue here is not the age, she just isn't interested in that man.

Bendeco02:


Be deceiving yourself

Women sees beyound height.

Your fitness and other features matters to women oga

Average muscular or fit man with other attractive features have more chance. Don't just be short but average

All these tall this tall that are only online it ends. In reality, women date and marry average men and even short men without any issue.

If you be tall mugu without any vibe, women won't even look your side.

Does all the tall guys in your area have girl friend?

Generally speaking, the men women marry are not the men they crave sexually.

Samantha125:
This thread is not worth the front page and good luck finding ladies willing to participate.

Strangely enough, pretty much all the posts questioning women are over-filled with men. Take this post for example. Some 2 or 3 women may answer his questions, while the rest will be men. In fact, even I, already commented under this post.

It's more about height than body build actually. Generally speaking, tall man that's not fat (or at least not too fat) will have better success with women than a muscular short or average-height man.

BareFacedLies:


You want to be alone with your man so that you can fvk in peace in the kitchen, in the bathroom, in the living room, in the garage etc

It's more so about having a stronger hold on the man. With the sister around, it may be difficult for her to control/manipulate the man as she wishes to.

SpencerForbes:
When a girl start telling you when others are flirting with her. What does it mean?
Going back to the mentors

She is letting you know that other men want her kitty cat, and if you don't behave well, they might get it.
"Behaving well" here may mean:
- pandering to her
- giving her stuff
- doing what she says
- compromising one way or another
- simping for her
- putting her on a pedestal
- etc.



I believe that the best thing to do is to simply ignore it and to not fold (i.e, not "behave well". Otherwise, she will lose respect for you, if she hasn't already.
But if she keeps telling you about other guys, the best thing to do in my opinion is to tell her to stop pestering you about other men. See, she is a woman, of course guys will try to flirt with her. That's not a big event. That's nothing to worry about. If she wants to stay faithful, she'll stay.

.

The average woman is more sexually perverted than the most perverted man.

emmaodet:
Thanks Kipaji for the hardwork

You're welcome.

david16:
To be honest, thank you very much for taking your time to do this.

You're welcome David.

pansophist:
For a man or woman?

For a man its tough, unless you are from a united wealthy family that can soak up most of the blows life punches at you.

If you are like the average Nigerian, then it is a miracle if there is peace in your family, because peace and poverty are hardly found in the same place.

Financial pressure everywhere, from yourself and family, especially your parents who are weak and hoped you can carry on from where they stop, and do a better job than them.

If you are the first child, you don enter am. You are basically a parent to your parents and siblings. Most of your income will go to them.

You will notice that its easier now to get fat, because as we grow older, our metabolism decreases, and the body store most of the food we eat, making you look chubby, then rounded, then overweight.

The pressure to settle down will begin to mount up, and your best time would be in the past, when you were young, no responsibilities, and ignorant. Ignorant is happiness.

You will struggle to be happy, and your esteem will be bruised because the women that you find attractive, will not like you. You are probably not their speck, even if on an objective basis, you are doing better than them.

They you will arrive at a bitter conclusion that women are not looking for a good man doing fine, but for a wealthy man, with the hope that he is a good man. Accepting you are average will be painful, but you need not live in delusions.

those uncles that gave you 500 naira and biscuit when youre young, now you will be the uncle to their own kids.

People will be watching you, and if any improvement shows up in your life, it will attract request for assistance left and right, that due to self preservation, you will cut off some route from your path, and your whatsapp ''last seen'' status turned to invisible, or just go ghost mode.

Then you will come to appreciate your solitude, and realise that the only time you are free and can be yourself is when you are alone. When you were young, your father forced you to sleep, now you will be very happy to find time to sleep.

You will now also understand why young people fill the clubs, because the 30's and above are at home and actually enjoying the rent they paid heavily for. At best, a bar to drink and talk will hold more value than clubs.

You will now learn to appreciate your father and see clearly that he tried to raise maybe five kids, and handled it for decades. It will make it easy for you to forgive him for all the shortcomings you thought he had.

He was once your superman, but now, you can see clearly that he was just trying his best, and its your turn to go through that same route.

I gotta add this to your booklet.

NowYouKnow:


No such thing as “game,” bro. Stop wasting your energy chasing tactics, techniques, or trying to decode female behavior through red pill theory. That rabbit hole only keeps you mentally chained to the very thing you're trying to overcome—obsession with women. It pretends to offer empowerment, but all it does is trap you in an endless loop of self-blame and coping.

Here’s the truth, whether it stings or not:

A woman is only kind, loving, loyal, respectful, or nurturing when she’s genuinely attracted to you—PHYSICALLY. You don’t earn that with effort, money, or a confident script. It’s instinctive. If she doesn’t feel it, you can’t force it.

If a girl doesn’t light up, blush, or giggle with that uncontrollable childlike giddiness when she sees you, walk away. Don’t try to “game” her into submission. Attraction isn’t negotiated or earned through persistence. It’s either there, or it’s not.

Trying to manufacture interest leads to frustration, humiliation, or worse—resentment. Nature doesn’t care about fairness. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you free yourself from this delusion.

Bro, you just summarized what I have been trying to convey in this forum for the last few months.

When I first came into this platform, I was very Red pill. Then, I went 5 months and a half on semen retention. When I came back I no more believed in "game" or the red pill. I have made several posts highlighting the pointlessness of applying "game" to get women to like you.
Here are three of them:

1. https://nairaland.macsoftware.info/6048178/reality-every-guy-need-know/2349#134677939
2. https://nairaland.macsoftware.info/6048178/reality-every-guy-need-know/2326#134059875
3. https://nairaland.macsoftware.info/8267409/female-answers-only-what-turns#132883555
4. https://nairaland.macsoftware.info/6048178/reality-every-guy-need-know/2268#132585118
5. https://nairaland.macsoftware.info/7916223/enough-enough-men-rise#127062115


The brutal reality is that there is virtually nothing you can do to make a woman attracted to you. If a woman categorized you as a sexually unattractive man after meeting you, no amount of game, Redpill sense, or masculine frame is going to change it. The best thing to do is to forget about her and keep it moving. Trying to win her over with "dating drills" and Redpill game is a waste of time, or worse, a self-inflicted humiliation.

Niyi4321:
This must be how my father killed himself same year I was born.
Well fortunately but funny, My mother is still Alive and Healthy. It's been 34 years now.
Only God knows how many men I have called Dad because they all lived with Mom in the house my father had built before he died.

Wow.

That's one of the reasons why I stopped being so judging of desperate simps. Like thirsty slaves in the Sahara, they are excited for every drop of women's attention/sex/energy/interaction they can get. Even if it comes with disrespect, excessive demands, and a lot of compromise, he can't really afford to be choosy, can he?
As I said, one of the three categories of men that can avoid this downgrading situation is men who hold their self-esteem, respect, dignity, principles, masculinity, and authenticity higher than sexual access.

Akano5:
Thank you for your input, I have learn a lot here

You are welcome Akano

Parizz:
Is this redpill really working on men? I opened my tiktok and discovered a gal I knew as a hookup gal is married. Her husband was beside her and the two were having fun like nothing happened

Learn this game so that you don't end up like the husband

Dabronze:
This is very funny 😃

She forgot to precise: "I'm ready to be 3rd, 4th, or 5th wife to a rich man who can fund the lifestyle I can't get by myself (all the while I keep fuckïng the guy that genuinely turns me on secretly) if there is an opportunity."

It's not for their spouses. It's for sugar daddies/rich men and to compete with other women.

tensazangetsu20:


Men have actually never been the gatekeepers of commitment. Only the top percent of men are. Most men aren’t desirable so they aren’t gatekeeping anything.

This is why the dating and mating market is BRUTAL for the average man out there. He basically has zero leverage, is easily replaceable, and has pretty much zero option.

I now make a throwback to a recent discussion we had on the redpill thread where Nyascobar1414, Zaziboy, Pukkalolo, JESHAL007, luminous and emmaodet thought about the powerlessness of the average man in intersex yak dynamics. (It started here: https://nairaland.macsoftware.info/6048178/reality-every-guy-need-know/2317#133844124)

Gerrard59:

Number rule I have come to keep: never lend a woman money. No matter what, even if she wants to die. The alternative is to give her funds you can let go of. In this case, say 50K.

The number two is that this is a major reason I advocate for paying directly for sex rather than this "let's go out for lunch or to the beach". Men get to pay more when they opt this model. If she wants sex and being paid for it, better. But asking for a loan, touring the city and still getting paid (she will demand for more funds) is a loss on the man's side.

I really wonder what Nigerian women use their money for.

Even my own mother told me to never lend money to women.

JESHAL007:

emmaodet:

I Believe Nigerian Men that are Poor "BEGGED" their Wives before they Agree to MARRY Them.
If you are rich or wealthy and have to beg a woman to marry you, then the issue is not about financial situation rather esteem issues.
If you are financially stable and averagely social, you will always have atleast 2 ladies in your hand at every point in time.
Ladies are not hard to get nor scarce, main issue for men are financial and long time of scarcity.
When a man has been exposed for too long to scarcity - inability to date for a very long time or no girlfriend for a very long time, it makes him appreciate little or no gifts or efforts from ladies and he is scared of losing a lady even if she is bad mannered. He is ready to manage or endure her.
He will be ready to take her bullshits.
Just a little kiss, he will always it or a little gift of singlet. He will the gesture for years. Something no one has ever given him.

This insight from emmaodet relates directly to this recent thread
https://nairaland.macsoftware.info/8386338/men-truly-gatekeepers-commitment#134868667

Given that most men begged their wives to marry, can we really say that men are the gatekeepers of relationships and commitment?

For most men out there, women are the gatekeepers of sex AND relationships.

In a day and age when most men have to beg, compromise, or pay to be in a relationship, can we really say that men are the gatekeepers of relationships?

Dpsychologist:
Men, this is the most eye opening thread to read.

Are men truly the gatekeepers of commitment, or have they handed that power over to women?

Traditionally, it’s said that women are the gatekeepers of sex, and men are the gatekeepers of commitment. This means that:

Women control access to intimacy—they decide who gets it and under what conditions.

Men control access to relationships and marriage—they decide who they commit to and propose to.

However, in today's world, it doesn’t seem that simple anymore.

Are Men Really in Control of Commitment?

If men were truly the ones holding the keys to relationships, we wouldn’t see:

✔️ Men chasing women and constantly asking them out.
✔️ Men trying to prove their worth just to get a “yes.”
✔️ Men getting rejected while women sit back and choose.
✔️ Men investing first in time, effort, and resources, while women simply “decide” if they are interested.

It almost seems like women are now the gatekeepers of both sex and relationships.

How Did This Shift Happen?

1. The Rise of Female Hypergamy – Women naturally want the best man they can get, so they are extremely selective. This means they have the power to say “yes” or “no” to relationships, making men feel like they must “win” their approval.

2. Abundance of Options for Women – Due to social media and dating apps, women receive endless attention from men. They are no longer waiting to be “chosen”—they are picking from a large pool of suitors.

3. Men’s Willingness to Compete for Women – Most men have accepted the role of chaser, pleaser, and provider. Instead of maintaining power, they are willingly putting women in control.


The Harsh Reality: Women Make the Final Decision

Even though men may have the “intent” to commit, women have the final say. A man can ask a woman out, plan a future, and want to commit—but if she doesn’t choose him, none of that matters.

So the question remains:

Are men still the gatekeepers of commitment, or have they unknowingly handed that power to women?

What do you think?

I have been thinking about this too. And I also came to the realization that most men are not the gatekeepers of relationships/commitment.


First of all, let's see why women are the gatekeepers of sex.
As you said, "women control access to intimacy—they decide who gets it and under what conditions." Take a random woman out there, let's call her Abiola. Being a woman, Abiola has many guys who would like to have sex with her. There are colleagues, classmates, neighbors, clients, churchmates, online acquaintances, and many more who have made their direct or indirect advances. But, whether any of these men get to have sex with her depends on her. She is the person who decides whether any of these men get to have access to her body. In effect, she gatekeeps sex FROM THESE MEN. If there are 15 men that would like to have sex with Abiola, then Abiola is the gatekeeper of sex from these 15 men.
Since 99% of women out there have at least one guy that would like to have sex with her (regardless of her age, beauty, economic status, intelligence or personality), any woman is EFFECTIVELY gatekeeping sex FROM AT LEAST ONE MAN. Therefore, it makes sense to say that "women are the gatekeepers of sex."

Now, let's examine the men side.
It is said that "men are the gatekeepers of commitment." But I have come to the realization that most men are not "gatekeeping" commitment/relationships from anybody.
Think about it. How many men have girls that would like to be in a relationship with them? The average man out there is not being checked out by any woman. No woman cares about him, no woman thinks about being in a relationship with him, and women couldn't care less about his commitment. So, if he is the gatekeeper of commitment, WHO IS HE GATEKEEPING THAT COMMITMENT FROM when there are no girls that would like to be in a relationship with him? If you are a man, and you believe you are the gatekeeper of commitment, please take a pen and a paper, and write down the names of the girls you think you are gatekeeping that commitment from. If you can't think of any girl, just know that you aren't gatekeeping shît. If there are, say, three girls that would like to be in a relationship with you, then you are the gatekeeper of relationship (only) AS FAR AS THESE THREE GIRLS ARE CONCERNED.
Since most men out there have no woman that would like to be in a relationship with them, I don't think it makes sense to say that "men are the gatekeepers of commitment."

The truth is, nowadays, women are indeed the gatekeepers of BOTH relationship and sex. For most (not all) men, it is women who decide who gets into a relationship and who gets sex. Virtually any woman knows at least one man that would like to be in a relationship with her; she is effectively gatekeeping commitment from that one man. But can we say the same for the average man out there? Is there a woman he is effectively gatekeeping commitment from? Is there a woman he can get into a relationship with today, if he wanted to?

Only a minority of men (I'd say around 30%) are truly gatekeepers of commitment. The rest have NOBODY to gatekeep their (undesired) commitment from.


@Nyascobar1414
@Dpsychologist
@ThinkSmarter
@FitCorper

CaveAdullam:


1. If you truly want to be logical about life, it will be hypocritical to know about suicide and still decide to be alive today.

Why do I say so?

Because the end of life is nothing. Literally nothing.

So, tell me, why do you struggle day and night for a brighter future?
Why do you dream big?
Why do you have ambitions?

Or, are you gonna lie to me that you don't know that all living things die? And you will die someday.

In fact, every breathe you take upon the surface of the earth fills you with life and at the same time draws you to your grave.

Why bother yourself when you will end down in 6 feet in less than 70 years from now?

If we truly want to be logical about life, there's absolutely nothing that makes sense. Absolutely nothing.

2. Despite this fact, we dear the adverse nature of life. We struggle for a better end. We work smart. We work hard. We like food. We like beautiful things. We like luxury. We like comfort. Because they are what makes life temporarily enjoyable till the coming of death.

3. Some see love and romance as what gives them happiness.
Some see their job as what gives them happiness.
Some see traveling as what gives them happiness.
Some see reading as what gives them happiness.
Some see adventures as what gives them happiness.

Therefore, it will be naive of you to think that because you chose work that gives you happiness, then, you are better than the one that chose love and romance. Or, vice versa.

: it all ends in death. So, what makes you think that one is better than the other for following a transient point of happiness that differs from yours?

4. Let me state this clearly: the number 1 motivating force and power on earth is SEX - which is further substantiated on the foundation of relationships, love, romance, and marriage.

Your work as an inventor, scientist, innovator, engineer, thinker, writer, philosopher, etc will only be valued by a human population who can only come into existence through SEX.

5. Many great men in history never got married. But it took the population of men who got married to birth offsprings that made these men who would have been lost in the archives of history to remain known to the world and their works accessible by the sons of men on earth.

Nikola Tesla didn't get married. But nobody would have known about Nikola Tesla and his works if the people in his time shunned sex and marriage.

Hope you are getting the point now.

6. The problem we have today is that we are judging love and romance based on what we are seeing and experiencing today. Rather than judge by looking at their true meaning and purpose.

7. There can be sex without marriage. But there will be no society without marriage. Every society that seems to be collapsing today is because of the rampancy of sex. Where sex is not sacred under a notable institution, civilization declines gradually.

The importance of marriage is to make sex sacred. If sex becomes rampant and cheap with every cent and kobo, that society will end up down the drain.

So, marriage is not as useless as you think.

8. Again, the reason young men still find women difficult is because they expect women to be who they are not.

That's where the Redpill comes in. However, most men these days are trying to use it as an avenue to hate women or abstain from romance entirely.

Women are who they are. They will not change. It's simply their evolutionary and biological makeup. Instead of hating or avoiding them, you learn how to deal with them, hence, GAME.

9. Women are like pets. You will never expect your dog to start acting like a human someday. No matter the human training you give to a dog, a dog will still remain a dog. But should that stop you from loving the dog, no.

Will you now say because of the occurrences of road accidents, you will never ride a car? No.

Begin to extrapolate this logic to other areas of life - business, investments, etc.

10. It's the same thing with women. You understand their modus operandi and leverage it for a successful relationship.

If I'm not going to avoid other things in life because of their downsides - all things have both pros and cons - then, it will be ridiculous to avoid women because of their dark side. Even men have their dark sides too. All humans.

11. There's this hypocrisy men are now carrying around based on the revelation of female nature and psychology as if men themselves are innocents and saints. Meanwhile, we are all sides of the same coin; dress from the same material.

12. Women are a reflection of what men permit in society. And men become what women reward.
And don't forget this - SEX IS THE ULTIMATE RULER OF THE UNIVERSE.

13. To your question:

Marriage preserves the sanctity of sex. Because a society without tough rails on sex will turn into a cesspool.

A functional society is built on a sound micro system - a family. A system of similar people and cultures. And family is constructed with the bricks and fabrics of marriage.

Why sex? Without sex, the human population comes to an abrupt end.

The fact that this path doesn't makes sense to you doesn't in anyway makes it less important on a macro scale. It's the same way they will see your path too - useless.

It comes down to you finding a path that you enjoy and seems more meaningful to you.

Thanks.

Oh wow, how insightful!

The part about how it doesn't make much sense to refuse to engage with women because of their bad sides and risks while we regularly engage in other things with bad sides and risks, is the one that caught my attention the most.
But why though? Why is it that when it comes to women, a lot of men these days just give up? As you said, businesses, transportation, etc. have their whole lot of risks too. So, what is particular about the women case?