NewStats: 3,263,727 , 8,181,173 topics. Date: Saturday, 07 June 2025 at 03:09 PM 3m135a

BigSarah:


patriarchy ,that's your angle... I'm aware there's no fairness anywhere but still, dates should be what they are post to be getting to know and see someone the meal is simply entertainment.

couldn't agree more.
This is why I buy minimi chin-chin and pure water on dates.

BigSarah:


Eating alone doesn't mean at home, ladies can have their meals alone in public food spots... Going on a date in my experience involves preparing to dress up, logistics, and the worst part conversation (some people are blokes) ...Him paying would probably seem like the bright side of the whole ordeal if there's no connection... I know misogyny is here to stay and I definitely can't end it.

you, you and you!
you prepared, you dressed up, you had a boring conversation.
what about him?

He went through the same level of stress as you did, cleaned up, and in the end got disappointed.
Unlike you, however, he had to spend a little money for his troubles in addition to everything else.
I don't agree with or even like the whining by guys after that happens. It's stupid.
However, a little empathy wouldn't kill anyone.

Obviously, when you ask a girl out and decide to pay the bill all by yourself, that doesn't guarantee nor entitle you to a good date. That is just dumb.

Girls, too, shouldn't use the expected dating etiquette as a safety net, where they're almost eager to end the date at the slightest inconvenience because she knows she wouldn't be left holding the bill at the end of the night.

BigSarah:


Lmao see the way you angled my talk... Paying for ones time isn't that what you do to a hookah... Taking a girl out isnt paying for her time the very moment you've that impression you've played yourself!... In my opinion

You said if you wanted to pay for your meal, you'd be alone at home away from the noise. I don't see how else a sentence like that can be interpreted.
Him paying is the only reason you'd subject yourself to the "interrogation" of a date. In other words, he's paying for your time & presence with food.

That said, I feel there is a valid point buried somewhere deep in some of your oddly phrased words. But it's a point that hasn't been made here before. You should know that by now. you're trying to feed hay to jackals. It's pointless.

thebosstrevor1:



women love men they ire, that will play a daddy figure in their life, that is why many of them are attracted to men that are older than them.

This in factually untrue. (most) Women have been conditioned to be attracted to men older than they are due to economic and biological (child bearing) reasons.

the pressure on women to utilize their viable child-bearing years makes them consider marriage much earlier than they have to, an age at which their similarly-aged male counterparts are usually not able to a family of their own. Slowly, this came to be seen as immaturity in males.

there are a number of published works to back this up if you care to check.

This is all pointless -- of course -- if you don't think science measures up to your opinion.

like I said earlier: you don't need to worry about my romantic prospects. I'm doing great.

thebosstrevor1:


A woman love a strong and musculine man that can correct and tell her what to do not some weak man who has no balls to say his opinion.

At the highlighed, most women think like that, continue looking for that woman that will take you the way you are, women are expert in smelling weakness, they will pretend that you are in control and allow you while they recreate you in their image, after doing that, they hate and resent you and nag you to death.

Your idealism wil put you in trouble

first, unless a woman is mentally handicapped in a way that significantly affects her ability to think and act for herself, then you are neither required nor in a position to tell someone what to do.
unless, of course, the women where you're from are incapable of fully formed thoughts and actions, or per chance you happen to be some all-knowing Demigod we hadn't heard about. In which case even I would gladly submit to your instructions, O great one!

but in the unlikely event that you are, in fact,not a demigod, then you are just as susceptible to making bad decisions and having blind spots just like the rest of us mortals.

for that reason, you (and everyone) should be open to correction from everyone - man or woman.

In case it got lost in translation: Your insinuation that women have about the same mental capacity as toddlers and need to have their hands held and be guided by you doesn't sit right with me (read: I don't agree with it).

As for my romantic prospects; don't worry about me, bro. I am doing just fine.

thebosstrevor1:


doing what a woman is suppose to do will make the woman see you as weak and a easy means of manipulation

Self sufficience and independence is good for a man but atleat when it comes to stuff like cooking and cleaning the home, let her do it.

what is it with people and this constant need for a woman to see you as strong.
and the constant demand for respect... it reeks of neediness!
if you are a strong man or not is a question the answer to which is only ever known to you.

inevitably, there are women who think just the way you do - any man seen doing chores is weak - hence, why you should attach yourself to a woman whom you see eye-to-eye with on these sort of things.
She'll appreciate your adherence to strict gender roles better than a woman who prefers her man share the responsibilities with her.

I find this logic to be simple and straightforward.

thebosstrevor1:



A woman need to know her role while the man also need to know his role, a man is a provider, simple not a dish washer or a food cooker, if you are looking for someone to do the laundry and other domestic duties get a house help.

domestic duties are not for men

all these idealism you are bringing up is what is destroying marriages.

and this rigid assignment of roles is what has made just as many marriages crumble.

I preach self sufficience. I cook, clean and do everything for myself, and others if I need to. There is no hard and fast rule to life. Stick to what works for you. Don't try forcing your idea of what a marriage should be on others.

if you can't bring up sharing of the bills before the date then you shouldn't complain, if you did the asking out...

This is true. But splitting the bill should be the norm, not an outlier. This way no one feels hard done by if things don't work out.

BigSarah:



If a girl wants to pay for her own meal guess what she'd be doing? EATING IT ALONE!... Not having some guy giving interviews over lunch.

This type of statements are part of the reason the guys here are the way they are. If, like you're suggesting, I am paying for your time, then obviously I should expect you to make it worth my while.

StacyO:


I totally understood that But,in a scenario whereby the lady isn't able to settle with any of the Mrs and she must have slept with them during the whole relationship thing. What do you think will become of her? How will she be able to make up her mind to settle with one Mr when all of them want different things from her?

maybe try dating guys who want the same thing as you. You might find that to be a remedy for a broad spectrum troubles.

I wouldn't date a virgin, much less get married to one. I find it to be a symptom of larger, underlying problems: Close mindedness, religious overzealousness -- you name them.

obviously, people avoid sex for a myriad of reasons not in any way related to any of the things I mentioned above, but I prefer to save myself the trouble of having a girl accuse me of ruining her chances of getting married because we slept with each other.

I prefer a girl who has explored her sexuality in a healthy way, with whatever amount of guys she has chosen to do so with.

there is someone for everyone. The shame is you, a girl, choosing to go with the popular narrative that any girl who isn't a virgin is ruined for life. That isn't, in any form, close to the truth. You've only helped perpetuate that false narrative even further with your words.

How is this difficult to figure out?
Either He works on his porn dependence or you dump him.
And for all the puritans and "why she dey fuck_guy wey never marry her" people, either address the problem the thread presents directly, or shut TF up. No one wants to hear your bible nonsense.
you can create your own thread and complain about our society's moral decay there.

so what if she doesn't marry him? would that, in any way, have an effect (-ve or +ve) on you or your set goals in life?

Dozis:

I'm an ardent student of History, not a traditionalist, if you can help me cite examples of precolonial African men that married fellow men, I would be grateful.
Don't tell me about women that married fellow women, the practice is still in my place today, it's a different story because most times it's done when there is no male child in the family, a woman may decide to marry another woman to bear children for the lineage, in this case the 'wife' is allowed to sleep with other men for the purpose of procreation.

You can trace something's prominence in one's culture through language.
The three major languages (and hundreds of others) in Nigeria, not to mention all over the continent, each have a term for crossdressers and gay men; sometimes a combination of both. These languages obviously predate the arrival of the English and christianity by a considerable amount of time.

+ if you are an ardent student of history like you claim then you should know that very little of Africa's pre-colonial history has been preserved in writing. Regardless, I'll point you towards the one I can recall -- King Mwanga II of Uganda -- You do the research and come to your conclusions on your own.

It is true that a lot of what many anecdotally consider to be our lost "primitive" culture was, even if not totally accepting, but considerably more tolerant of what is considered deviant behaviour.

People think of homosexuality as something we imported from the west, alas, it was their intolerance (and religion) that was their gift to us.

All of this shouldn't even matter because I believe people should be prosecuted for harming their fellow man and the natural environment, not for being different.

kikero:


Well, I have been ing Arsenal for 15 years , and I still think it may not be good for our long term prospects if we win the FA cup.

Man United were the juggernaut they were in the 1990's simply because, around the time Sir Alex took over in 1986, English clubs were banned from playing in Europe....leaving Sir Alex time to build structures ...which enabled Man U to win the old Cup Winners cup in 1991, and then the Premier league several times.

We have to rebuild. And I don't think it would be possible to do so with the added stress of a European campaign next year. Just my opinion.

and you're going to rebuild with which funds? with Corona and everything you think say arsenal dey generate money from thin air ni?
even Madrid no get money now.
maybe read what arteta said about needing to win the F.A cup and qualifying for Europe if only to have more money to add to whatever little the arsenal board are going to give him.

FrustratedLady:
oh thanks to you and zimri_
I can now spot the difference between being venomous and poisonous.
abeg make I ask, if I boil am for hot water or roast the flesh for fire, e no fit kill the poison?

most toxins and venoms contain chains of amino acids(proteins), so logically, sufficient heat should, in theory, denature the toxin/venom and make it safe for consumption.
But, this is one of those cases where you're better off safe than sorry.
why eat something that could potentially kill you if you don't have to?

no snake meat sweat reach level wey I go die on top o

Blankstare:

Curious! What's the difference of the two words?

venomous: injects toxin through a bite or sting.
poisonous: harmful when consumed or touched.

GreatSage:
what's the name of this snake pls?

donMIG:
The snake u said we should eat Doest it have a name?

it's a Tiger snake. They're known for being both venomous and poisonous.

The girl clearly has issues, in which case it's on you for dragging out the conversation for that long. I don't know how old she is, but she sounds like a really immature, know-it-all - insufferable in the worst way, always with a comeback for everything said. Ironically, that makes it plausible that the whole thing is some kind of fucked_up charade to get you interested.

Apparently, even some people here think that a heated back & forth equals chemistry. I guess if all she wanted was to make an impression, then she has succeeded... so much that you had to bring it to before the council of internet strangers.

Any semblance of a healthy expression of sexuality in this country has been repressed for far too long by the puritanical hypocrites that have permeated every facet of our society. The repercussions of that are now just rearing their ugly heads as the perversions we see today - rape included.

+ religious indoctrination that has normalised this sort of thing for a lot of people up North, and more than a few all over the country.

With that said; I have long given up on this country, and I couldn't give a_fuck about this whole thing if I tried. I don't even know why I'm here.

Ishilove:
Were the they forced? You can only be manipulated if you allow it.

Really?
Nothing about this whole thing bothers you?
Even if everything was consensual, the power dynamic is so horribly lopsided one would even argue the women never really had any power to begin with, even if they don't know it.

Exploiting your position of power, one that usually involves people confiding in you their deepest fears and insecurities...
then to turn around and use that privilege to prey on those people, sexually or otherwise, is beyond reprehensive, and people like that shouldn't have a place in our society, much less be permitted to continue operating unchecked & unquestioned.

djon78:


In front of his fellow brethren and body of believers not in front of the whole Roman empire. Peter was trying to segregate from gentile believers and Paul corrected him before everyone.

Not social media, before people who have no regard or respect for God

So, his wrongdoings shouldn't be made public because people who don't adhere to your notion of what religion is supposed to be are incapable of discerning right from wrong, is that what you're saying?

sweetrace:


agbekeOreke86 responded to my question to you with the following. I found it so apt I decided to quote her here.
“naaaaaa....at all!!!! we dnt!!!when God is really ready to arrest u like he did Paul,HE definately will....'HIS ways are not our ways,we look at the outwards,my GOD looks at the inwards..'besides,all the acclaimed wisdom and education of humans is foolishness in the sight of God....!!!!!”
Sometimes, in missionary work, one’s education may prove to be a hindrance. God knows this and gives the right leader or pastor to a group.

Regardless, it is never a good idea (never has been) to have a single human wield such an uncomfortable amount of power and influence over others.
which is why we have "men of god" starting a church they'll quickly name themselves general overseers of, then proceeding to make themselves rich off the hard work of their followers.
There is no smoke without fire, and in an ideal world someone who has been accused, not for the first time, of being a predator would have been made to answer a few tough questions. But what do we have in this man's case? Nothing. He may only choose to dignify said accusations with a reply only if he chooses to. This is what happens when fallible humans are left to operate with no oversight.

His motives and level of education (or lack there of) are pretty much irrelevant in this case. That was the point I was trying to make in the first place.

AmazonTopaz:

Morality has nothing to do with religion Mr man.
Religion does not make you good or bad your humanity makes you.
How long can you hold a child they would one day enter adulthood and make decisions as to what is morally right for them.

Some people just find it hard to accept the mutual exclusivity of religion and morality. If it wasn't so, Nigeria would be without all the social and economic vices that have plagued it's society. Those "immoral" nations they're so quick to_shit on are light-years ahead in every positive aspect you can think of and we can't even dream of catching up.

sweetrace:


Do we need an education to have a relationship with God?

I think you're missing the point here. Paul's (or anyone's) education might not be relevant when it comes to his relationship with God, but it definitely matters when it comes to his missionary work & establishing doctrines. At least then people will rest, assured that he isn't just pulling random ideas out his_ass.

The same goes for today's religious leaders. It's stupid to have a Pastor who hasn't been properly indoctrinated (maybe not at all) stand on a pulpit and be expected to be taken as an authority in matters concerning his religion. It's a quintessential case of the blind leading the blind which, needless to say, has been the catalyst for the woes of today's church.

sweetrace:


Who ordained Paul in the Bible? Who trained him? Which theological school did he attend?

Well before his missionary work began, Paul was an extremely brilliant, highly educated, & talented writer & orator with a deep understanding of the Torah and Jewish customs. That's the least you'd expect from someone who was trained under Gamaliel ; probably the most important Rabbi of his time. So, in of education, Paul was head and shoulders above every apostle of his time.

looks staged to me.
still hot tho'

Mariinee:
Lmao. Don't be like this. We already promised him to my younger sister.
IamLegend, tell me you didn't see her, please.

For where? I don locate misswrite tey-tey. I no tell you say I don level up to Yoruba demon?

This thread had so much potential. Unfortunately, it has devolved into a dick_measuring contest.

+ my name was spelled incorrectly, so I didn't see the mention. Add the "1" next time.

and MissWrite ; I don't know you, but I will find you and I will marry you. You get too much sense it's almost illegal.

Misery truly does love company.
At least she get money to throw her own parties. All these hoes wey dey get 4 birthday parties per year nkor? All sponsored by different gods.

Na shadow be that or is the colour of her arm totally different from the rest of her body?