NewStats: 3,263,762 , 8,181,311 topics. Date: Saturday, 07 June 2025 at 07:11 PM 1r2218

“She said no… but expected me to keep trying?”

If you’ve ever found yourself on the receiving end of this paradox, welcome to the complicated — often emotionally draining — world of navigating romantic interest in Nigeria. A place where clear signals often come wrapped in mixed messages, and where desire is sometimes disguised as resistance.

Let’s talk about a true and uncomfortable reality:

A lady once visited a guy’s house. He made romantic advances. She declined. He respected her and backed off. The next day, she asked him — with a straight face — why he didn’t “try harder” or keep pressing her to give in. Was she not “hot enough”?


That one incident isn’t just an anomaly. It reflects a larger, dangerous cultural script that quietly thrives beneath our dating ecosystem — especially in Nigeria. It’s a pattern where some women have been conditioned to want intimacy but feel they must resist it first to maintain virtue, power, or to test sincerity. Unfortunately, this creates a confusing, blurry, and emotionally manipulative grey zone for men who want to engage with women respectfully.


The Pretend Resistance: Culture or Confusion?

A lot of Nigerian women grow up with one subconscious rule drummed into their heads:

“Don’t be too easy. Let him work for it.”

This isn't inherently wrong. In fact, there's value in setting boundaries, having standards, and watching a man prove commitment. But the problem lies in the performance — saying no when you actually mean yes, or expecting a man to decode that ‘no’ is actually a ‘maybe’.

Some say it's a defense mechanism. Others say it’s a feminine power play. But let’s be honest — when someone says “no” to intimacy or a relationship, they should be taken at their word. Consent, clarity, and mutual interest should never be gamified.

When ‘No’ Doesn’t Mean ‘No’ Anymore

Let’s break this down:

She says no to dating you — but stays in your space, texts you every night, flirts, and later says, “I thought you'd keep pushing.”

She declines intimacy — but the next day wonders why you didn’t “keep trying,” because she thought you would “convince” her.


What’s happening here is a clash between emotional expectations and spoken words. Some women have been socialized to test a man’s desire by resistance. They want to feel wanted — not just desired — but pursued with ion.

But in today’s world — where consent, boundaries, and respect are more important than ever — playing these psychological games is no longer cute. It’s confusing, emotionally dangerous, and sometimes manipulative.

Why Men Are Walking Away

The modern Nigerian man is tired. Tired of guessing. Tired of being expected to push, plead, or “prove love” through persistence that borders on harassment. Many men are now choosing:

To take women at their word.

To avoid unclear signals.

To walk away from women who play “mind chess” instead of communicating desires.

Because let’s face it: pressuring someone into love or sex is not romance — it’s manipulation. And ignoring a woman’s "no" can land a man in jail or at the mercy of public shaming.

So the safer bet? Take the no. Believe it. Respect it. And move on.


The Love Test That Backfires

What some women don’t realize is: That test you're giving? The one where you want him to “prove how much he wants you” by ignoring your words and chasing you with reckless abandon? That test often backfires.

Many high-value men don’t stick around for those games. They want women who know what they want and can express it without emotional theatrics. They want clarity, not coded love.

If you say no, and he walks away, don’t assume he never cared. Assume he respected you — and more importantly, respected himself.


Lastly: Desire Doesn’t Need Drama

In a perfect world, people would say what they mean, and mean what they say.

But in our current reality, we need to start having more honest conversations about dating, sex, consent, and expression of interest.

Ladies, if you want something — say it. If you’re not ready — say it clearly.
Gentlemen, if she says no — believe it. Don’t decode. Don’t assume. Don’t persist.

Because nothing kills ion faster than confusion and emotional games.

Love thrives in clarity. Not confusion.

And until we start communicating without masks, we’ll keep walking in circles — calling it love, when it’s really just a game of emotional hide-and-seek.

*****
I am Dpsychologist, The Mind Surgeon of Modern Relationships.

Maobichek:


Please prepare and prepare yourself again because you hardly keep to all your plans on savings once you are married.

No lies detected here. The idea of savings when you're single versus when you're married are two different universes. You might have a clean, well-structured budget in your head as a bachelor, but once marriage enters the picture — especially if kids the party — it’s a daily battle between plan and reality. A sudden school fee, an unexpected hospital run, or even her impulse buying in the market can scatter your entire financial architecture. Savings becomes something you dream of, not something you consistently do.

You will give you wife 20k for soup and she will still text you: " baby please buy this and that, i want to use it for the soup."

Ah! Classic. Give her 20k and somehow, that 20k evaporates into thin air before even reaching the pot. Then boom — “baby, please buy goat meat, Maggi, Titus, and tomatoes on your way home”. At this point, you’re now both the financier and logistics officer for stew production. It’s not even about trust issues; it’s just that money inside a married home has its own spiritual speed — it vanishes.

To a very committed husband, it's not a child's play but there is pride and sense of fulfilment when you provide for your family.

Word. Despite all the stress, the emotional rollercoaster, and financial curveballs, there’s a deep, unexplainable pride that comes with being able to say, “My family is fine because I showed up.” That’s real manhood — not loud, not flashy, but consistent. Providing for your home, watching your children grow under your care, and seeing the joy in your wife’s eyes when you meet needs — it hits different. It builds legacy.

But let’s be real too: commitment without balance can drown a man. So while we embrace the role of provider, let’s not throw financial discipline out the window. Let’s plan with flexibility, save in secret jars if we must, and teach our spouses the importance of t stewardship.

Because if na only one person dey carry load, even the strongest man go eventually slump.

Final note? Marriage is no joke — it’s a daily dance of sacrifice, provision, and wisdom. And if you’re not prepared mentally, emotionally, and financially... your plans will just become motivational quotes that never saw daylight.

Fiscus105:



Is ur father sharing responsibilities with your mother?

Meanwhile, if ur dad and mum are partners, why did all ur brothers and sisters bear the name of ur father alone?

Read the post and understand first before commenting

Exousiang01:
This is only obtainable outside.
Nigerian wives want to have a say in everything like the wives in the west, but when it comes to contributing they want to be traditional African wives.

This right here is the real contradiction. You want to be “modern” when it's convenient — opinions on everything, equal voice, lifestyle demands — but when it’s time to split bills, handle rent, or take on financial responsibilities, suddenly it’s “I’m a woman,” or “it’s the man’s duty.” You can’t have it both ways. It’s either we’re partners in everything or we’re playing defined roles — but you can’t mix and match only to your benefit.

Imagine a wife who doesn't have a job wanting to be consulted on the type of car her husband drives.

Exactly! It’s wild. You’re not contributing financially, but you want to dictate financial decisions. Imagine trying to choose a car when you didn’t bring in a dime towards it. If you want influence, bring impact. Respectfully, opinions should be backed by participation — especially when it comes to money.

She wants to take the decision on where they spend summer.

Lol. Summer holiday wey person hustle round the clock to sponsor — you’re now the official decision-maker because what? You googled 5 vacation spots on Instagram? Let’s call a spade a spade — you can’t be Chief Decision-Maker when you’re not Chief Contributor.

Some people think those of us who have refused to get married even after having kids are fools.

Bro, they can talk. But honestly, you’re just being honest with yourself. A lot of people rushed into marriages just to tick society’s boxes, and now they’re stuck, frustrated, or quietly suffering. Taking your time, prioritizing peace of mind, and not falling for the trap of traditional timelines — that’s not foolishness. That’s clarity. That’s wisdom.

My friend wan change the car wer him children dey use for school runs, him wife dey quarrel am say him no be the car wer she pick for edmund e order.

This one weak me. 😂 Na you hustle the money, na you know the budget, na you dey plan the logistics — but madam dey vex because e no be the brand she “emotionally picked.” Bros, how e go be her choice when she no even chip in kobo? At this point, you wonder if it’s still marriage or you’re now dealing with a boss and not a partner.

ufotty2001:
I just got married .. my Dear!! Bills no be here.. most women will not u

And some can still be ungrateful with yoyr Providence.

Partnership means mutual responsibility. If you want equal voice, bring equal effort. If you want to be heard, be ready to help. We can't keep pretending that "partnership" is just a fancy word for "benefit without burden."

The relationship dynamics in many Nigerian homes are in desperate need of honest conversations like this — because until we redefine what partnership really means, one party will keep carrying the load while the other sits on the throne of entitlement.

No be by gender, abeg — na who dey show up, dey supposed get say.

There is an Unspoken Frustration of Modern Men

“If we’re partners, why am I the only one paying all the bills?”

This question doesn’t come from greed.
It doesn’t come from bitterness.
It comes from exhaustion.

In a world where relationships are marketed as equal partnerships, too many men are realizing they’re carrying the entire load—financially, emotionally, and sometimes even logistically. All in the name of “being a man.”

But how fair is that, really?

Let’s dig deep into the hypocrisy, expectations, and emotional toll behind this simple but powerful question.


💑 The Myth of Equal Partnership in an Unequal Economy

We live in an era where women are more empowered than ever. They earn degrees. They run businesses. They vote. They drive. They have the choice to pursue careers or stay at home.

And yet—when it comes to who pays the bills, many still revert to old-school expectations:

“The man is the provider.”

Wait…what?

You can’t preach gender equality on one hand and demand traditional privilege on the other.

If we’re truly partners, the responsibility to build the home should be shared—not dumped on one person.


🧾 The Reality of One-Sided Provision

Let’s be honest about what it means when only one person pays all the bills:

Stress: One person constantly worries about rent, food, utility bills, car maintenance, kids’ school fees, and emergencies.

Resentment: Over time, the provider begins to feel used, especially if their efforts are not reciprocated emotionally or practically.

Burnout: They may work long hours or take multiple jobs, sacrificing their health and mental well-being.

Imbalance of Power: Ironically, some partners who don’t contribute financially still want to be “50-50” in all decisions.


It’s not just about the money—it’s about effort, respect, and equity.



💬 When “” Means Watching From the Sidelines

Many partners—especially in modern dating—say:

“I you emotionally.”
“I cook sometimes.”
“I clean, I’m present, I’m loyal.”

That’s good. But here’s the reality:

If bills aren’t emotional, your contribution can’t just be emotional.

You can’t hug a landlord instead of paying rent.

You can’t cook love for NEPA to give you light.

should be multi-dimensional. It should stretch across finances, emotional encouragement, domestic contributions, and shared responsibilities.

Being in a relationship where one person is the ATM and the other is a “life coach” is not partnership—it’s imbalance.

🧠 What the “All Bills Must Be Paid by the Man” Mentality Really Does

Let’s strip the filters and IG captions.

This mindset:

1. Devalues Men Emotionally: If all a man is good for is money, what happens when he can’t provide?

2. Discourages Intimacy: Resentment grows in silence. A man who feels financially exploited may detach emotionally and physically.

3. Creates Silent Pressure: Most men don’t complain—they just suffer in silence. Until they break down… or walk away.


The result? Lonely marriages. Emotionally distant relationships. Secretly bitter breadwinners.

🧮 What Does Partnership Really Mean?

Let’s define the word “partner.”

A partner is:

Someone who shares the burden, not just the benefits.

Someone who contributes based on their capacity, not just their gender.

Someone who’s willing to build together, not just spend what someone else builds.


If a man is paying the rent, utility bills, school fees, and fuel, while the woman’s income goes to personal things, beauty routines, and weekend brunch—that’s not partnership.
That’s sponsorship.


🙅‍♂️ The “He’s the Man, He Should Provide” Argument Is Lazy

Many defend financial imbalance by quoting tradition:

“A real man should provide. That’s what our fathers did.”

Fair. But let’s finish the sentence:

“Our mothers also woke up at 5 a.m. to cook, raised six kids, ran businesses from home, respected their husbands, and never tweeted about oppression.”

In the past, yes—men paid for everything.
But women worked differently, and they respected the effort. The labor was divided in a way that felt mutual.

Today, women want modern freedoms with zero traditional responsibilities.

That’s not equality.
That’s selective feminism.

❤️ What Men Actually Want: Contribution, Not Control

To be clear: Most men are not asking women to split every bill down the middle.

They just want:

To feel ed, not used.

To see effort, not entitlement.

To experience gratitude, not guilt-tripping.

If your partner earns more, maybe they contribute more. If you earn less, maybe you do more at home. If you both earn equally, find balance.

It’s not about 50/50.
It’s about 100/100 in effort.

🧘 Final Thoughts: Partnership Is Built, Not Demanded

If you’re in a relationship where one person is doing all the financial lifting, it’s not just unfair—it’s unsustainable.

Partnership means:

⚡Carrying the weight together.

⚡Adjusting when one person is weak.

⚡Respecting the silent sacrifices.


So the next time someone asks:

“If we’re partners, how come I’m the only one paying all the bills?”

Don’t just roll your eyes.

Answer them honestly.
Or contribute more actively.
Because love without effort… is just dependence in disguise.

RollinTNDA:
Trust me.. Nigerian Men are to be blamed. And I will tell you why.

90% of the average Nigerian man are simps.

An average looking girl will post photo of cleavage and she will get 40 comments from men saying gorgeous, you are so adorable with flower emoji.
You will see grown men dey mumu for comment section for small girl.
What this does is create what I call "THE FANS" theory.

She begins to see men that compliment her as her fans.
A fans job is to worship and adore and shower the celebrity attention and praises.

Now imagine a fan of Beyonce trying to toast Beyonce. Beyonce will quickly put the fan in his place

Go to tiktok and see boys commenting love ❤❤ pouring their hearts and showering girls with praise because she dance sexually.

On of the biggest lies women tell is that they dress for themselves not to attract men. Very big lie.

Women know what they are doing.
No woman mistakenly wears cloth
They plan on which part of their body they want to expose. So that men will gaze at them. Give them attention and validation.

So as a fan your job is to give validation. But the moment you cross your boundary and try to get intimate with her. She will put you back in your place as a fan.

When Nigerian Men stop simping recklessly on social media.
When you ignore them and refuse to give them that attention they seek. That is when Nigerian girls will become humble and willing to settle.
But as long as simps on Fb twitter and Tiktok keep simping in comment section. This girls will keep posting thirst traps for validation from simps.

You said:

1. "Trust me... Nigerian men are to be blamed."

Let’s be clear:
Blame isn’t a one-way street. Men reacting doesn’t erase the fact that women are the ones putting out the bait. Both the sender and the receiver of a signal play a role.

2. "90% of the average Nigerian man are simps."

If that’s true, then 90% of Nigerian women are deliberately feeding off those “simps.” That’s not innocence — that’s strategy. You can’t run a business off validation and pretend you’re being victimized by your customer base.


3. "An average-looking girl will post cleavage and get 40 comments from men..."

Yes — but who posted the cleavage? That post didn’t come from thin air. If women don’t want “simps” in their comments, they wouldn’t post content that attracts simps. It’s basic cause and effect.

4. "This creates what I call 'The Fans' theory..."

That’s not a theory, bro — that’s a deliberate marketing funnel. Women know the rules of engagement. The moment they post thirst traps, they expect fan behavior. But calling out only the fans while ignoring the person creating the stage is lopsided ability.


5. "Now imagine a fan of Beyoncé trying to toast her..."

Exactly — Beyoncé is a global star. But these girls you’re referring to are manufacturing that 'celebrity' illusion using their bodies. The irony? They crave that worship, but turn around and shame the very men feeding their ego.


6. "Go to TikTok and see boys commenting love emojis..."

Then ask this: why are girls consistently posting content that invites those emojis? If the supply is steady, it’s because the demand is real — and women are profiting off that dynamic, emotionally or even financially. That’s not naivety. That’s leverage.


7. "One of the biggest lies women tell is that they dress for themselves..."

Facts. But if we both know it’s a lie, why aren’t more people calling it out? That’s exactly what my post was about: holding women able for playing this seductive game while pretending to be victims of it.

8. "They plan which part of their body they want to expose..."

Bingo — and yet they scream “objectification” when the plan works. That’s the hypocrisy. You can’t serve steak and complain that dogs are sniffing around.

9. "The moment you cross the boundary, she’ll put you back in your place..."

Because it was never about you. It was about the attention. The whole game is designed to extract male energy and offer nothing in return — not because men are simps, but because many women have learned to exploit weak male thirst for their gain.

10. "When Nigerian men stop simping..."

True. But that’s only half the fix. If men stop simping but women still use sex appeal as currency, the dynamic doesn’t change — it just shifts platforms. Women need to also stop monetizing sexual attention if they want to be taken seriously.

11. "Girls will keep posting thirst traps for validation..."

Exactly. And until both sides — the poster and the responder — are held able, we’re stuck in a cycle. This is not just a male problem. It’s a two-sided transaction. You can't condemn the buyer and ignore the seller.

So in summary, bro:

Simping is a problem.
But baiting simps and pretending you’re oppressed? That’s the bigger con.
We don’t just need men to wise up — we need women to clean their side of the street too.

That’s real balance.
That’s real honesty.
That’s how we fix the culture.

Smithwilliams826:
Most humans don't like the truth.
But still, women are the most confused creature I have seen. I no wan talk much.

Indeed.

They say one thing and end up acting the contrary.

QuinQ:


I think every man needs a little bit of red pill to have a faily level playing field. Otherwise your woman will quickly be the leader while you are the ceremonial head

Yes. Leaving in oblivion to women's tactics is mans greatest enemy :ignorance.

We live in a time where ability has taken a back seat to outrage. Every day, countless women post sexually suggestive content online — from booty shaking videos, breast-popping selfies, to seductive dances under trending songs. They bask in attention, rake in likes, and build entire careers on physical appeal.

But here’s the twist: the moment a man responds in a way that matches the sexual energy they’re putting out, he is instantly branded a pervert, thirsty, a creep, or worse — a predator.

This is ridiculous.

If men are blamed for reacting to sexual signals, why isn’t the same energy used to confront the source of those signals? Let’s pull off the blindfold and look at this topic with a clear, honest, and fearless lens.

📱 The Social Media Circus: Who’s Really Putting It Out There?

Take a quick scroll on Instagram, TikTok, or Twitter (X) — the “For You” page is flooded with:

Women twerking with cameras placed at strategic angles.

Cleavage thumbnails for YouTube vlogs.

"Dance challenges" that are actually strip teases in disguise.

Lip-licking, tongue-teasing "story times" that leave little to the imagination.

And who’s ing this content?

Women. Not men.

Yet, when a man comments “🔥” or reacts with sexual curiosity, the creator is suddenly offended.

Make it make sense.

You can’t be the fire and complain about the heat.


🧠 Real Talk: Sexual Energy Is a Signal

Just like wealth flaunting attracts gold diggers, sexual flaunting attracts sexual attention. That’s not rocket science — it’s human psychology.

Wealth flunting attracts wealth diggers and Sexual flaunting attracts pvssy diggers.

You can’t wear hyper-revealing clothes, post sexually suggestive content, and expect the world to only see your "mindset" or "inner beauty." If your marketing is sexual, don’t act shocked when people show up for the product you're advertising.

And here’s the kicker: the men being blamed for reacting aren’t even the ones ing anything sexual.

Ladies, your frustration is misdirected.
You should be calling out your fellow women — the ones turning the internet into a 24/7 OnlyFans preview reel.


🎙️ Podcast Feminism vs. Real Advocacy

This is where the podcast feminism narrative comes in — the type of conversation that goes viral, sounds empowering, but rarely leads to any change.

We hear lines like:

“Men are always objectifying us.”

“Why do men always think of sex?”

“We should be allowed to wear what we want without judgment.”

All valid in theory.

But where’s that same energy when:

⚡Women use their bodies to grow followings?

⚡"Influencers" teach girls how to monetize their bodies?

⚡Friends openly encourage each other to post thirst traps “for engagement”?

Let’s be honest: you can’t preach empowerment if you can’t preach restraint.

Real women’s advocates don’t just blame men — they hold their own sisters able.



💡 The Hypocrisy of Modern Sexual Politics

This generation has mastered the art of contradiction:

Be sexy, but don’t be sexualized.

Flaunt it, but don’t expect reactions.

Seduce, then play the victim when it works.

We celebrate women for “owning their sexuality,” yet demonize men for not ignoring it.

Imagine a man flaunting his Rolex, Lamborghini, and cash stack daily, then ranting about how women only want his money. That’s the exact same logic many women now operate with — except with body parts instead of bank s.

Attraction is not harassment. Reaction is not oppression.

You can’t weaponize sexuality and then demand selective invisibility.


🔄 Want Change? Clean Your Own Side of the Street First

If women are tired of being sexualized, the movement must begin with women themselves:

Stop applauding friends for “serving body” online just for likes.

Stop following influencers whose only brand is their backside.

Start calling out those women the same way you call out men who misbehave.

A woman shaking her breasts online is not being oppressed — she’s participating in the very system she later complains about.

Until women begin to self-police their digital presence with the same intensity they police male reactions, society will continue this circular blame game.

🧘🏽 Final Words: ability Should be the New Feminism

Sexual liberation without ability is not empowerment — it’s exploitation wearing lipstick.
You can’t claim victimhood when you volunteered for the spotlight.

To the women who truly want to be taken seriously:
Start by calling out your own camp. Because right now, the loudest voices aren’t the wisest — they’re just the most provocative.

And to the men:
Understand the difference between iration and obsession. You’re allowed to notice beauty, but never let it dominate your logic. Be a man of standards, not just reactions.

In a world obsessed with exposure, the real power lies in restraint.

Let’s start telling the truth — not just what sounds good on a podcast.

There’s a rising tide of disillusionment among men — a frustration not always voiced out loud but felt deeply. It’s not about hatred. It’s not about dominance. It’s about inconsistency, contradiction, and confusion.

More and more men are silently checking out of taking women’s public opinions seriously — not because women are incapable of intelligence or reason, but because too many have weaponized language, rebranded hypocrisy as empowerment, and now contradict their words with their actions.

Let’s peel this back, without the rage and without the noise. Just cold, honest reflection.


🎭 Women Say One Thing, Do Another — The Reality of “Double Programming”

Let’s face it: most men today have experienced the following:

A woman swears she's not into hookup culture — then sleeps with a stranger that same week.

She tweets about not needing a man — then goes home to cry because a man didn’t text back.

She says she hates being sexualized — yet posts thirst traps for validation.

She screams feminism online — while sliding into the DMs of the richest “oppressors.”

This isn’t just anecdotal. It’s patterned behavior, repeated over and over by millions of women online and offline.

“I’d rather watch a very boring movie on repeat than sit through a woman-led podcast.”

That statement might sound harsh, but it reflects the exhaustion of men who have watched one too many episodes of contradiction masked as “empowerment content.”


🧠 Why Men Are Losing Faith in Women’s Words

Let’s break it down logically.

1. Modern Feminism Has Become a Moving Goalpost

Once rooted in equality, much of today’s feminism now resembles a self-serving ideology, twisting to fit convenience.

Want to be treated like queens? Feminism.

Want to pay for nothing? Feminism.

Want to cheat and blame patriarchy? Feminism.

Want to embrace femininity again? That too is now feminism.

No structure. No ability. Just ever-shifting standards.

2. Public Messaging vs. Private Behavior

The real reason many men stop listening is because they’ve seen behind the curtain.

“A girl was giving me head while her Twitter feed bashed men for asking for sex on a first date.”

That’s not an isolated incident. That’s modern dating. That’s performative feminism in public and raw contradictions in private.

How can men take words seriously when they’re used more as social camouflage than truth?


🎙️ Why Podcasts Led by Women Turn Men Off

It’s not about silencing women. It’s about the content lacking credibility.

Turn on many trending podcasts hosted by women and you’ll hear:

“Men are trash.”

“Normalize leaving your man if he can’t afford you.”

“All men cheat, so cheat back.”

“I deserve the world because I exist.”

These aren’t intelligent conversations — they’re emotional chaos packaged as insight. And worse? They rarely align with how these same women act behind closed doors.

So yes, many men would rather listen to anything else than be told by someone who says one thing at 12 PM and does the opposite at 8 PM.


⚖️ But Isn’t This Misogyny?

Not at all — it’s discernment.

There are intelligent, self-aware, grounded women out there. Women who walk their talk. Women who hold themselves able.

But the loudest, most viral voices today often do not. And unfortunately, they’ve hijacked the narrative.

Modern men have learned a hard lesson:

Listen to behavior, not words.

Not because women are liars, but because so many have become inconsistent, often under the pressure of public perception, peer validation, or social media branding.

💬 So, What Should Men Do?

1. Stop reacting to what women say — respond to what they do. Actions will always tell you more.

2. Avoid emotionally led content that lacks logic and balance. You’re not required to digest every podcast or trending take. Filter what enters your mind.

3. Don’t hate women — understand them. Much of this behavior is not malicious. It’s a product of confusion, cultural programming, and validation addiction.

4. Lead yourself. The strongest men aren’t controlled by contradiction. They are steady, focused, and unbothered.


🧘 Final Thoughts: Stop Arguing, Start Observing

The frustration men feel today is valid — not because women are the enemy, but because modern culture has blurred the line between reality and branding. Between actual values and public performance.

Men no longer trust what’s being said because what’s being done rarely matches.

So don’t hate. Don’t rant. Just observe, adjust, and move wisely.

In a world where truth is often dressed in filters and hashtags, the real power lies in clarity — not chaos.

And maybe, just maybe, it’s time we all listened less to noise and more to actions — no matter who is speaking.

Musty112:
This should resonate especially if you are business person. At the start of every employment, make it very clear that any form of stealing will be met with the absolute punishment. Let them know you'll go as far as prosecuting them. When and if it happens that the employee steals, do not cave to any form of blackmail, they can go and bring their elders in the family and villages, they can even go to beg your own parents and folks, do not cave! Such will repeat itself and you'll eventually be run down. Be very fair in your dealings with your employee, but don't take sorry for theft. They don't care if you become unfortunate and lose everything that you toil for.

Humans are the most difficult aspect of business to handle.

You have to be very logical in your dealings.

Osiris12:
I learned that from kratos. God of war

Oh really. Impressive

This thread looks AI generated.

AI is gradually taking over. People will soon use AI for everything.

Osiris12:
Don’t be sorry, be better.

Exactly.

SpencerForbes:
I’m still reading your book tho. It’s a rare gem 💎

Kudos to you for taking time to read the little i penned down. Hoping to touch more lives.

Peakdesign23:
Someone can still say "My love I'm truly sorry" in a very calm, polite way but never meant it from the bottom of their heart. You go dey trust human beings?

Exactly my point.

Hey everyone,

I just wanted to share something that’s been sitting heavy on my chest lately, and I know some of you might relate to it.

I’ve reached a point in my life where “sorry” just doesn’t hit the same anymore.

Not because I’m unforgiving or overly harsh… but because apologies without real change are meaningless.

Let’s be real — saying sorry is easy.
It’s easy to say “I didn’t mean to,” or “It won’t happen again.”
But it keeps happening again, doesn’t it?

And suddenly, “sorry” just becomes a button people press to reset the vibe — not fix the issue.
No ability. No growth. Just noise.


Here’s where I’m at now:

I want people in my life who will:

Own their mistakes.

Reflect on their behavior.

Adjust their actions.

And most importantly, show they care — not just say it.


Because at this point, I’m done being impressed by tears or well-worded apologies.
I want to see consistency. Growth. Effort. Real ability.


Patterns over promises. Always.

Someone can promise the world and still deliver hurt. They can say “I’ll do better” and still repeat the same mistake next week.

It’s not about being perfect — nobody is.
But it is about being self-aware enough to say:

“I hurt you, and here’s how I’m going to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”


Truth is, a lot of people love the comfort of forgiveness… but hate the effort of actual change.

So they apologize just to calm you down. Not because they understand, but because they want to avoid discomfort.

That’s not maturity. That’s manipulation.


So yeah… I prefer ability now.

I don’t need grand gestures. I don’t need perfect people.
I just need real ones — who don’t make the same mistake 5 times and think “sorry” will always be enough.

If this hits home for anyone else, let’s talk.
What shifted for you when you stopped accepting empty apologies?

Let’s unpack this together. 👇

TL;DR: “Sorry” without change is emotional laziness. I’d rather see action than hear another apology. ability is the real flex.

thesicilian:
If she told you sorry at all, she's already better than 80% of Nigerian girls.

dominique:


Countless ladies do that but you people will always want them to keep mum about it so you can continue to push the narrative that women bring nothing to the table. When they get betrayed for girls that will look the other way while he was drinking garri, you people will say they don't deserve loyalty. What makes you think you also deserve loyalty?

At the end no one deserves loyalty.

DrFunmisticGlow:
the same men that will still exhibit bad character and poor loyalty to their wives if they eventually make it. Toor!! Loyalty is not the birthright for these men.

I would advise that women invest first in themselves before investing in 'potential' that these broke sons of Adam who haven't finished home training in their fathers' houses, if they had father's at all.

Same thing i will advise guys too. They should invest in themselves ans leave broke daughters of eve let's see how they gonna thrive.

Note : I will be adding pidgin English to this post so everyone can relate.

My people, make we yarn truth today…

You ever meet those kind of babes (or even guys) that will offend you badly, just say "sorry" like it’s nothing — and then when you try to talk about how it affected you, they flip the script on you?

You go hear lines like:

"But I’ve said sorry nah, why are you still upset?"

"This talk is too much jor."

"You don’t know how to forgive!"

"Let’s forget it jare, haba!"


Like say na remote control dem use the apology press reset button. 😑

Let’s be real — that’s not apology. That’s arrogance in disguise.

You offend someone, and because you dropped a quick “sorry,” the person is supposed to magically act like nothing happened? Come on. That’s not how mature people operate. An apology should not come with conditions or impatience.


🚩 What Real ability Looks Like

Real apology no dey end with “I’m sorry.”
Real ability means:

Listening without acting like you're tired

Allowing the other person to express their pain

Being intentional about not repeating that nonsense again

Showing humility, not ego

Some people dey say sorry, but deep down dem still believe say na you cause the problem. They’re not apologizing — they’re trying to shut you up.

💡An Example

Girl go mess up, say “sorry”, but the next minute she’s angry that you are not smiling. Even trying to make you feel guilty for being hurt. Na wa!

Some of them will even act like they're doing you a favour by saying sorry at all. And if you try to explain how it really pained you, dem go say:
"Is it not enough? What do you want again?!"

🎯 Moral of the Matter:

Don’t fall for fake apologies.
Saying sorry is cheap. Taking responsibility is rare. And in this life, we must start choosing ability over apologies.

Not everyone that says sorry is truly sorry. Some are just tired of the discussion and want to gaslight you into silence.

If you’ve been through this type of scenario, share your story. How did you handle it?

Let’s educate ourselves. No be every “sorry” get good intention behind am.


Make we hear una experience 👇🏽

TrainPark:



She did not leave a mansion to come and you in single room and to drink garri.

You were absolutely the very best option she could find otherwise, she would have left you.

But most women think that just by their existence alone, they are doing you and the world foe being born a woman.

That is why they still expect a settlement after being in a relationship where the man feeds, clothes and shelters her and literally, caters for her life.

A woman feels spending time with a man in a relationship is a favour done to the man.

The worst part is that this grandeur illusion and delision is without exception in the minds of most women.

And simpish men have caused and contributed to this delusional deiitification of non-value adding females, the world over. It does not even matter ugly, poor, badly behaved and dumb they are, in their mind they are the epitome of beauty, wealth and character. Men should always bow down and worship the ground that they walk on!

I wish I can be this insanely delusional

Reminds me of a case in think im USA where a woman demanded a settlement after being with a guy for 2years and not even legally married. Women and entitlement are 5 and 6.

Mariangeles:


And why would you expect any lady to do that?
Is that her responsibility?
Is she your mummy?
Does she owe you that or anything for that?
It's the entitlement mentality for me.

Y'all better wake up and smell the coffee, because this manipulation will not work.
Ladies are becoming wiser and investing in themselves instead. They have families they'd rather , than strangers in the name of boyfriend. 🙄
No time to waste on nonsense!

But you expect a man to bring down the world for you.

You can't even handle what you dish out. Double standards

maasoap:


Some of them could really smell potentials in men which they themselves are lacking. All what they need to do is to patiently wait for few years to see you transform. It is a prediction game

They have specialize in that expect.

JustcallmeFavou:


Yen, yen, yen, unless you want to pretend that there are no such women.

Well, such good women still do exist, but are rare.

And you are not one of them.

[quote author=ChiefOkporghe post=135567946][/quote]

Ofekongsk:
Mehn even if she helped you get on your feet, leave her so that she can go help another brother.

Seems you a fan of Future

JayEdm:

Som of us did all that,bought the garri,gave money,motivated , encouraged...basically everything. Guess what I got afterwards...." After all,I never forced you to help me"....just pray not to meet an ingrate who's also entitled.

Yea

JustcallmeFavou:


In some cases as a lady, you can buy the
garri, the groundnut, sugar, coconut, milk, cold water, and add fish ontop. Yet, an ungrateful man will still leave you when he becomes better. This goes both ways too!

Yen yen yen
In which cases... How many ladies have even done that

chinchum:
haha. Possibly even cheating and keeping a side nigga in the name of " i was with him"

Ah tell you. They can be cunning, showing fake loyalty.

Wananonly:
The garri was all he had to offer her and she stayed bro. Giving him cooking and cleaning and doggy and monkey. Whereas people were who would have given her more if she followed them.

She didn't buy the garri but what she sacrificed was 10x more.

I don't care bro. Let the simpsults rain on me.

I am coming for you.