NewStats: 3,263,813 , 8,181,483 topics. Date: Sunday, 08 June 2025 at 03:47 AM 1d404h

I married non of the sisters for sure and both are married to other guys. I am a very happy man now and pray for others to find their soul mates as God answereth prayers.......

Funny indeed but am Happily Married now to the best wifey on planet earth

Please what about registration of Canola Oil which is like Vegetable oil?

So watz d essence of this thread?

@Siena, Tanx alot

@Abekeade, Thanks too and the asebi colour is Red & Gold.

@Luizworld, Love is actually everywhere, its just for you to grab and cherish it when it comes calling,

mgbogo:

Apunanwu, congratulatons!

What did u expect,

Tanx all for all the good will messages, am pleased to announce that a date has been fixed to walk up the altar.
As you may all know that alot of planning and preparations are geared up in both families.
The traditional wedding will be on 26 December while the church wedding on 29 december @ Enugu.

So y'all should get your dancing shoes cleaned up,

it will be fine

MARRIAGE SOFTWARE
This is what a guy wrote to a systems analyst
(Marriage Software Division):

Dear Systems Analyst,

I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my
program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that
the new program began unexpected Child Processing and
also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In
addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other
programs and launches during systems initialization
and then it monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as "Boys' Night out 2.5"
and "Golf
5.3" no longer run, and crashes the system whenever
selected. Attempting to operate selected "Saturday
Rugby 6.3" always fails and "Saturday Shopping
7.1"
runs instead.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background
whilst attempting to run any of my
favorite
applications. Be it online or offline.

I am thinking of going back to "Girlfriend 7.0",
but
uninstall doesn't work on this program. Can you please
help?

, AND THIS IS WHAT OUR ANALYST SAID:

Dear Customer,

This is a very common problem resulting from a basic
misunderstanding of the functions of the Wife 1.0
program. Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to>
Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY
AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM.

Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by
its Creator to run everything on your current
platform.

You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and
still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 was
not designed to do this and it is impossible to
uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the
System once it is installed.

Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or
Wife 2.0 but have ended up
with even more problems.
(See manual under Alimony/Child and
Solicitors' Fees).

Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you keep it
Installed and deal with the difficulties as best as
you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever
you think has caused them, you must run
the, C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE Program
and
avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will
freeze the entire system.

It may be necessary to run C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE
ME.EXE a number of times, and eventually hope that the
operating system will return to normal.

Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance
programme,can be very rewarding.

To get the most out of it, consider buying additional
Software such as "Flowers 2.0" and
"Chocolates 5.0" or
"HUGS\ KISSES 600.0" or "TENDERNESS\
UNDERSTANDING
1000.0" or even Eating out without the Kids
7.2.1" (if Child processing has already
started).

Two ghosts met and both chat about how they died.


1st ghost : How u died?
2nd ghost : I died of cold.


1st ghost : How does it feel when you're dying in cold?
2nd ghost : Actually, I was accidentally locked in the refrigerator.
Initially, I was shivering, then my whole body started to freeze, later
I felt the whole world was dark and I died suffocating.


1st ghost : Wow what a horrible way to die,
2nd ghost : How about you? How u die?


1st ghost : I died from heart attack.
2nd ghost : I see, why did u have a heart attack?


1st ghost : Actually, I found out that my wife is having an affair with
another man. One day, when I came back from work, saw a pair of man
shoes outside my house. Then, I realized that the guy was in my house
with my wife. When I rushed into the bedroom, my wife was alone. I must
find where that bustard is hiding. So I searched the toilet, I ran
downstairs, looked in the storeroom, but the bustard was not there. So,
I ran upstairs and searched the wardrobe, but I found nothing. Because
of all that running, I got a heart attack and died.


2nd ghost : Why didnt you look for the bastard in the fridge? The
bastard was hiding there. We for neva die by now!!

My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
, na so fight take start!

*******************S***********************

Saturday morning I got up early without waking the wife, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up my fishing boat up to my 4x4 and proceeded to back out, into a torrential downpour! The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.

I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
, na so fight take start!

******************************************

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive,
so, I took her to a petrol station.
, na so fight take start!

******************************************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your tros. You might have gotten disability, too.'
, na so fight take start!

******************************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
, na so fight take start!

******************************************

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
, na so fight take start!

******************************************

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's perfect.'
, na so fight take start!

;d

Itz so unfortunate Spurs could not soak d pressure in d 2nd half
but we shud concentrate on Winning all our remaining games,

YNWA

Bgees,

Spurs were not robbed as Man U came out on fire in d 2nd half firing all cylinders,
and Spurs couldnt soak d pressure. Robbie Keane was swallowed in d game sef
hardly realised he was on d pitch,
YNWA

60minutes and itz
LIVERPOOL 2 : ARSENAL 1,

no

One thing u should know is that the organisation of the beauty show is all staged managed.
In Nigeria it all boils down to who do u know, it doesnt actually cover Nigeia as states are being allocated
to these girls. How can Miss Nassarawa answer an igbo name

Miss Gombe was elegant, intelligent, fluent, beautiful and all u can think of though she is from Anambra state but she deserves the crown.
There is alot of arrangee in the show, the star prize of N3Million is being paid the winner monthly for a period of 2yrs & the car is amortized too,

Nigeria we hail theee

We stay cos we r NIGERIANS

PORTO will shock Man United

[size=18pt]LIVERPOOL WIN[/size]

@Shilox,

Its gonna be a GOAL fest jamboree, lol

@akolawole,
Lucas

Na only Lagos properties dey? this could have been a National thingy rather than just Lagos,
Dont limit your business area.

Na only Lagos properties dey? this could have been a National thingy rather than just Lagos,
Dont limit your business area.

@Darrytoz,

True Talk

LET THE DEMOLITION CONTINUE,

WHO'S NEXT, FULHAM,

[size=18pt]YNWA[/size]

TORRES, ETO, VILLA, IBRAHIMOVIC, RUUD VAN,

Liverpool should better maintain d momentum after d international break oooo

YNWA

It is well