NewStats: 3,263,951 , 8,182,059 topics. Date: Monday, 09 June 2025 at 01:12 AM 2r3qs

Frosti: ^^No, perfection alludes to a state of zero mistakes or one in which flaws are not tolerated.

And that as a human is not possible, cos human nature by itself is inherently flawed.

In that example you gave, it just means you are BETTER than me AT PLAYING FOOTBALL. It does not necessarily mean you are perfect.

Once again: Perfection is an illusion.

i caught myself commenting here.

falls and broke an ankle from my aboki mat

Frosti:

My dear sir, perfection is an illusion.

the attainable hight of every human activities is perfection.

if we both are footballers, i reached all the peaks humanly possible and brought home medals but you had dribbled and scored all the goals humanly possible without a nick, am yet but perfect.

mark you, the word perfection is not just dum in ur ALD

Uniquexty: Channel 190, thanks for your contributions. There's no harm in trying. You could give it a shot.

Oahray: nah... It should only be edited. I think she should relax and read everything again, from chapter one, slowly, and try to touch certain parts of her post.

She did well in my opinion, considering the short notice and the pressure to perform.

Ishilove: Nice work Unix,considering you had a very short time to work. Thumbs up.

My observations:
Some typos. The one I can is- 'staring', not starring.

Wrong usage of verbs. E.g- "Jack 'jammed' his hands on his thighs.' You stick your appendages into places. E.g Jack's foot was jammed between the door and the wall.

'Jack slapped his thighs in excitement' will be better. Consider revising.

'David bombed into something'- the right verb is 'bumped'. A bomb is a noun, 'bump' could be a noun, adjective or verb, but in the context in which it is used, it is a verb. You bump into things, while you bomb things. KABOOM!!!

Wrong use of comparatives- 'this is badder than I thought.' Very wrong.

Good, better, best. Bad, worse, worst. So 'worse' is what should be in that sentence. Unless na Engli-igbo you dey talk.

Storyline confusion- Sharon is a barrister, but her medical knowledge is above the layman's knowledge. An explanation on how she knows so much about the human anatomy is needed.

'Sharon poked the corpse's ribs with her gloved hands'. Why are her hands gloved? Where did the gloves come from? At what point did she wear the gloves?

Please read chapter six,seven and eight very carefully. Lucan was not shot in Ibe's house. Osborne road is where Koko bought a house for Amina. In chapter 8, Lucan wakes up in Amina's house in Osborne road. The shooting takes place in Amina's house. Two days later, Ibe and his wife are killed in their house in the GRA. LUCAN could not possibly have been shot in in Ibe's house because he was already in hospital, fighting for his life. The policemen discussing in chapter 8 confirmed this.

Kabon Tijani did not call the policemen. The policemen were already present when he arrived Osborne road. We shall assume they were called in by concerned neighbours who heard the sound of shots coming from Amina's house.

Lucan is no longer a fugitive. He is now under police custody again, that's why his colleagues were more concerned about him than the shooting. They even helped Kabon load Lucan into the vehicle and drove him to the hospital.

'The limping boy was grinning'-Please note that the limping character is not a boy, he is a man. He is first introduced in chapter six in the mortuary. He makes a reappearance in chapters 7 and 8. He uses the code 'Rain check'. I think this character should be developed because he is an angel of death; wherever he shows up, he leaves dead bodies behind.

Also note that the identity of Madam K has been revealed in chapter 8. In addition, any person that can make a serving honourable member of government quake with fear must be a very powerful person. HIM is not your ordinary, next-door villain.

Consider revising your chapter because it doesn't sync with the preceding chapters.

However, you did good because you worked under short notice, so kudos to you.

Mazi_Omenuko: Read the .

Nice work, owing to the fact that you had less time.

However, you introduced a lot of new characters. Merging this new characters with the numerous ones already created made your work a little bit complex.

There are few scenes that needs more explanations: you introduced a Mrs Ajoke, and then made her almost omni-science.
Sharon was supposed to be a barrister, the 'rib' explanations was a little bit out of place.
You made our 'almighty' HIM look just like any other common character.

There are typos and some grammatical errors; I was equally guilty of this, so I will let Larry and Ishi have a field day in that section.

Once again, good work.

#...you killed Ayodele, in a bizarre way! What's with you guys and murder? Y'all need Jesus!..#