NewStats: 3,264,137 , 8,182,747 topics. Date: Monday, 09 June 2025 at 08:18 PM 6n3g6e

Mekuseh11:
When you pay attention to the intent of a word of advice, then you can gauge if it's from a place of care, concern or disguised mockery.

The " Go and marry" tag falls in line with the disguised mockery often packaged as a genuine concern.
Age, finance and status are mostly the determinant of these fallacious shows of sportsmanship as it is always a subtle way to remind you of your decline.
Rarely does happiness, companionship or even peace of mind be considered as a criteria for the supposed " Go and marry" advice.

Isn't it surprising that if there is a refusal on your part to cling onto the marriage ship, they throw in a subtle jibe and undertone caricature, reminding you of your anticipated decline and risk of losing out in life.
Every other achievement is discarded and you are faced with multiple reasons why you are on your way to doom.

Then the game starts,
Pressure from onlookers
Constant reminder of your lack of purpose (marriage wise)
Subtle jibe and derogatory insinuations
Age shaming and broke shaming.

It's like there is a calculated arrangement to undermine every good thing in your life outside of marriage.
Soon it gets to a stage where the pendulum swings and they become loud, aggressive, judgmental, mean, disrespectful and what have you! Just to sway and hasten your decision.

The question is why do you get offended at my refusal to heed your supposed advice?
Why am I getting mocked all of a sudden?
Why are my achievements secondary to your concerns?
Why do I need to prove my intent of life with marriage?

Think about it slowly!

We are all a product of life and it is expected through procreation to give life too. I understand that sometimes you need a slight push to make future decisions especially when it concerns others.
What I don't understand is why there is pressure to act quickly, a timer to determine my right to what fulfillment entails.
Maybe I'm overthinking, just maybe?

" Go and marry" is far from what it looks like, it has become a source of pain, caricature and a reminder of a looming failure.
The pressure takes a toll on people.
The sigh of relief that comes after marriage is mostly from a place of freedom against the society, instead of a genuine path to a beautiful next chapter.

Very nice writeup.

The thing is people should realize that marriage is an individual decision. People should not check time for others. Nigerians are actually very culpable at this.

What if the person has made a personal decision not to get married? Hmmm?

We need to understand the difference between "personal life" and "general life".

Me wen de regret marrying

Lol

People act as if marriage is a disco party. They tell to go and marry as if it is like going for street party. Going to get married is one of the biggest decisions you can make in your life, it is not Owa mbe party. You have to find the right partner, you have to be mentally mature, you have to be financially independent, you have to be ready to make sacrifices, you have to be commited and you have to be ready to take responsibility for children

This is no joke. So when people say "go and get married" as if you are telling the person to go for divorce party, I laugh. Marriage is no joke

helinues:
Funny Nigerians.

They would advise you to go and marry while at the end of the conversation, they want to bill you about their children school fees.. hahaha Na so marriage, giving birth easy?

First time I'm agreeing with helinues😂😅🤣

Mekuseh11:
When you pay attention to the intent of a word of advice, then you can gauge if it's from a place of care, concern or disguised mockery.

" Go and marry" is far from what it looks like, it has become a source of pain, caricature and a reminder of a looming failure.
The pressure takes a toll on people.
The sigh of relief that comes after marriage is mostly from a place of freedom against the society, instead of a genuine path to a beautiful next chapter.

Alaye go and marry if your age, finance and status is okay for marriage. Happiness, companionship and your peace of mind can also be found in the woman you chose to marry

SeriouslySense:
After the marriage, the next thing is where are the children

After the children the next thing is Japa probably. or where is the house you have built

Like planing and monitoring someone's life up and down whereas they're facing life challenges as well but it's the guy that's not married yet or wife that as not given birth after marriage will be their job 😅😅😅

It's very rare for a random Nigerian to see something good and advice you towards it. Lol. They tell you go and marry because they want the suffering from their miscalculated move to go round. Married people will never tell you the truth about what's going on in their lives or genuinely advice you about marriage. They want you to enter that trap also.


MISERY LOVES COMPANY.

shadrach77:
Never listen to anyone who tells you to go and marry. Marry only because you feel a genuine need to do so and you feel it will add benefits to your life.

85% of people who advice others to marry use that as a subtle way of mocking single people. Then some people are jealous of you because you don't have the kind of financial responsibilities they have so they want you to marry so that you can be like them.

Then you'll hear some people say unmarried people are irresponsible. Another foolish talk. [b]When did marriage become an achievement? [/b]There are many married people who are irresponsible. Some of of the richest people in the world are unmarried - Bill Gates, Dangote, Elon Musk, Anthony Joshua etc.

Don't let anyone push you

I like that line in bold.

Mekuseh11:


Are you due for marriage because you are 40 Or because you genuinely want a companion and life around you?
Sometimes we allow societal standards determine our course of action. Don't be pressured into anything.
Your priority now should be getting a stable source of income and then you can find a partner to build with ( there is someone out there for you).
Afterwards you can get married and still enjoy your life.

You can't rule age out of marriage and child bearing. He wants a "companion and life around him" and it is getting late (40 years) to start because of lack of money.

Jefferyhi86:
Me wen de regret marrying

God Abeg 🙏. Step up your hustle 👌💯

My situation right now

I am 32yrs old and I am faced with a strong pressure to go and marry.

The worse culprits are my secondary school classmates. I am always a topic of discussion, every now and then in our WhatsApp group, on Facebook, in social gatherings these classmates of mine throw all sorts of shades to me.

They think I am a sorry loser. They even think that I am single without a girlfriend.

I don't even get offended, I laugh it off and even joke with them about my being single. Sometimes I crack jokes about their marriages and how marriage is eating them up

The thing is that, I come from a family where nobody mounts any sorts of pressure on anybody. My mom doesn't even have that time, I have never heard my mom tell me to marry neither has any of my siblings.

My mom's own is that you live a decent life.

My classmates making jests of me, what they do not know is that I have a fiancée whom I have been with for 7yrs.

I do not rush marriage because I waited her to be done with school, a lady my parents are aware of, my siblings so love and while I also love her.... See ehhh when you see a good woman, wait for her, build her and wife her and that's what we've done for the past 7yrs but kept on low key and privacy.

While she schooled, I took time to build my finances and make meaningful investments. I am comfortable and doing well for myself.

October is my wedding and yet my classmates do not know that I am in a relationship, while they throw their mockery, I look at them and sigh.

They think being married alone is an achievement. I know how many of them run to my DM every now and then seeking help of 10k, 6k to buy food for the home. I know how many have called to beg for house rent but these same classmates come to general group to make mockery of singles. I look at them and marvel at their ignorance. Rushing into marriage without a stable finance but thinking you've arrived

tanigororo:
I am 40, I have stable income, I am okay.
If you pressure me I pressure you back!!!

😂

This go and marry thing eh,the way all those married folks go dey mockery advice u in disguise dey vex me

Nackzy:
I am due for marriage, I am 40 yet not married because there no money, my body needs it

- Omo, 40 what? Anyway, all hope is not lost, but don't leave it too late if you want to have kids. You really don't want to be retired and tired with kids in nursery and primary school. A 70 year old with little kids isn't a good sight.

like how is it their problem, not like they have the solution , people just like talking not that they even care.

Riqueleme:

Like planing and monitoring someone's life up and down whereas they're facing life challenges as well but it's the guy that's not married yet or wife that as not given birth after marriage will be their job 😅😅😅

You sef go and marry, what are you waiting for...

It's not usually said to women cause a man might not approach a woman which might be the reason for delay but a man in his 40s not married is a RED flag....

SeriouslySense:
After the marriage, the next thing is where are the children

After the children the next thing is Japa probably. or where is the house you have built

The list is endless

After house and family, everyone must be satisfied O. Because one need to enjoy life too. After children and house the rest is full stop

Annahh:
The list is endless

femi4:
Wrong

It's about taking responsibility and being responsible in the society.

Why do you think landlords n some country's visa give priority to a family man

Stop misleading people. It is senseless to take up a responsibility that one is unprepared for and incapacitated of.

PDJT:


- Omo, 40 what? Anyway, all hope is not lost, but don't leave it too late if you want to have kids. You really don't want to be retired and tired with kids in nursery and primary school. A 70 year old with little kids isn't a good sight.

Having kids and draining yourself probably wouldn’t get you to 70.

PDJT:


- Omo, 40 what? Anyway, all hope is not lost, but don't leave it too late if you want to have kids. You really don't want to be retired and tired with kids in nursery and primary school. A 70 year old with little kids isn't a good sight.

Others won't read this Ur write up o.

When reality sets on them at old age, they will know. As long as you are close to God. There is always a blessing attached to marriage. Trust me, except you don't believe in God.

I got married at the age of 32 in one room apartment. After a year, we moved to a Room and parlour and now 9 years down the line, we have our own building of two bedroom flat. With three kids now.

Sometimes, I imagined if I didn't marry then, I would have been kind of irresponsible. Cos I am very handsome and girls were all over me. And I don't know how to say no to them. Maybe by now, I for don get Aids or born children out of wedlock.

shadrach77:
Never listen to anyone who tells you to go and marry. Marry only because you feel a genuine need to do so and you feel it will add benefits to your life.

85% of people who advice others to marry use that as a subtle way of mocking single people. Then some people are jealous of you because you don't have the kind of financial responsibilities they have so they want you to marry so that you can be like them.

Then you'll hear some people say unmarried people are irresponsible. Another foolish talk. When did marriage become an achievement? There are many married people who are irresponsible. Some of of the richest people in the world are unmarried - Bill Gates, Dangote, Elon Musk, Anthony Joshua etc

Don't let anyone push you

Your comment is worth being written in gold

I am 30 years old but I have been told to go and marry morethan 10000times. Someone even told me that my mates are married I should do so, somebody even told me that I am getting old nd I should get married.

I’ve overheard two neighbors talking about me ….. “TO SAY HIM DON MARRY HIM NO FIT GIVE DAT KIND AMOUNT LAILAI”

They’re talking about someone in a dare need that I helped financially within our environment

Even though I did the help privately but probably it’s the person that showed appreciation publicly which lead to their comment

These are the guys that randomly jokes with me like “ guy you’re ok to get a wife o coz no time” as if dem wan help me program my livelihood.

From that comment regarding who I helped I can see their advice on me getting married is for them to see me being same as their financial status struggling for survival with different dramas from their wives which sometimes it happens like a disgrace in d public all in d name of NO OR LESS PROVISION FOR THEIR FAMILY

Misery likes company.They want you to also suffer what they are suffering. Hardly you see a Nigerian pressure you to come benefit from what he is benefitting from

femi4:
Wrong

It's about taking responsibility and being responsible in the society.

Why do you think landlords n some country's visa give priority to a family man

what is your definition of being responsible?so a full grown man is not responsible just because he is not married? I bet you have different meaning of being responsible.

Chief2410:
Misery likes company.They want you to also suffer what they are suffering. Hardly you see a Nigerian pressure you to come benefit from what he is benefitting from

Innate greed bro 👌💯

tanigororo:
I am 40, I have stable income, I am okay.
If you pressure me I pressure you back!!!

I'm turning 30 soon. Why at 40 brother

GoodSpirit:



Imagine someone who can't feed his family advising someone that rakes in 7 digits monthly to get married .

My brother, you talk like say you dey my office, na the kind advice wei one mumu wei no dey fit the feed his family dey advise me

CaptainFM1:


Very nice writeup.

The thing is people should realize that marriage is an individual decision. People should not check time for others. Nigerians are actually very culpable at this.

What if the person has made a personal decision not to get married? Hmmm?

We need to understand the difference between "personal life" and "general life".

most Nigerians don't have that mental capacity to understand privacy.They usually have herd mentality.most do things because people are doing it,no mind of their own.That also point to how messed up the society is messed up.

Riqueleme:

Like planing and monitoring someone's life up and down whereas they're facing life challenges as well but it's the guy that's not married yet or wife that as not given birth after marriage will be their job 😅😅😅

very annoying set of people.you begin to wonder if they have nothing to do with their lives,that they have too much time monitoring another person.