NewStats: 3,265,477 , 8,186,854 topics. Date: Sunday, 15 June 2025 at 07:23 AM 4ca2r

Jennyclay:
Why would he have 4 kids when he knows he’s broke and poor

Gone are those when people born as many as possible.

Take care of your wife and have just 1 or 2 kids that you can cater for without stress. Simple!!

Let the wife take care of herself!

I blame some insecure men who allow themselves to believe that they should suffer and die for their wives and children.

Most of these men take these loans to feed their family, invest in their wives. Infact they re pressured to take these loans by their wives , especially the ones who see marriage as poverty alleviation. T-pain don dey open men eyes.
Take care of yourselves from 40 you re on your own Your wife will abandon you for your grown up kids or other men.

Godwin4444:
is it real that people truly give their first salary to church?
Like seriously I have heard it a couple times but don't believe it's real

The day my wife tells me that is the day she will start taking care of herself n start feeding herself or better still she should b collecting money from those pastors

Any man that marries such a woman is in trouble.

occfx:


Every married man is seeing hell at the moment except those who are lucky with free flowing dough.

Just keep Amlodipin 10mg by your side and an anti depressant like Heineken or action bitters.

I haven't tasted alcohol since last year oct till date.
Not that I can't buy it but I just don't know why I just lost interest in it totally.

It been more than 2yrs I stopped taking beer but until last October I always have striker bitters in packs in my fridge.
Even last week my first daughter ask why I no dey take striker again....lol just told her have Giving my life to Jesus again.

I think I will get the drug sha cos my family has history of high BP.

It's a choice my brother, even if you if you place an advert on this, some people go still kpai themselves on top pressure from their wife and families. It's just unfortunate that your friend learnt with his death. Wife weh some of his friends don already de eye. In less than 6 months she is already on another relationship. RIP to him.

occfx:


She would threaten you with cheating and that would be the beginning of the end. Those creatures are something else. My problem is that a lot of stupid men are willing to help the woman destroy her marriage and leave her alone

oga only simps get threatened with cheating

Before marriage my wife knows many girls trip for me even after marriage they bring food n goodies for me in shop, I have to b the one to tell them to stop it so it won't affect my marriage

I b fine boy n I get small change, once u see 2face u don see me n I come even get body build, I hope u understand now

So my wife no dey try rubbish cos she knows many wants me outside n even till now her friends keep asking her if she's sure am truly faithful cos they know me well

So if she threatened me with cheating I will send her away without hesitation, she's knows I am d trophy n I try to respect her too but no woman in d world can threaten me with that

For u to even think of threatening me with that I go change am for u badly

How can my wife say she wan go give her money to pastor, if I decide to b stupid like her n give my money to d pastor too how will d family survive?

U people should let your wife know that u people are in marriage together n must always b alive to responsibilities

No vex me abeg

We need to sort things at home n my wife will tell me she wants to give her money to pastor?
Wahala go happen

Me wey I no even like those scammers called pastor before

Bobodee09:


People do it ooo.

Am an MFM member and I confirm it.

I did it some years back and that was the only one and last time.

Am not against anyone that believes in it but I can never do it again.

the day my wife try it is the day everything will scatter

Me wey no like those scammers called pastor self

djon78:



Actually I understand you
But this doesn't stop you from buying like 2/3 tros or appareals/ clothes

It's great you are shouldering your responsibilities, I salute you.
But don't neglect yourself.

I used to be like you. Couple of years back I made a bit good money. But my madam, my home expenses, almost chop everything except the ones I invested back in my business.

Only for my madam, to ask me when we were quarrelling wetin I use the money do? Because I told her about the money. When I reminded her all the money I gave her, she no fit talk again.

That taught me a very big lesson. Now all my earnings, I still take good care of my family, but I don't neglect taking care of myself. I buy good clothes, shoes, etc. This year in Sha Allah I go take better vacation abroad even if na Rwanda or Qatar etc cause I no come this Life to watch others enjoy themselves. I work very hard and play harder

I really missed my bachelor days.....every weekend was pure enjoyments for me.

Have decided to take care of myself more .

Bobodee09:


I haven't tasted alcohol since last year oct till date.
Not that I can't buy it but I just don't know why I just lost interest in it totally.

It been more than 2yrs I stopped taking beer but until last October I always have striker bitters in packs in my fridge.
Even last week my first daughter ask why I no dey take striker again....lol just told her have Giving my life to Jesus again.

I think I will get the drug sha cos my family has history of high BP.

U have given ur life to Jesus.

Hahahahha.

Jesus that turned water to wine. A beg drink ur stuff in moderation and enjoy life while on earth.

Bobodee09:

Is so bad that has a married man you can't even buy yourself new wears.

Throughout last year I couldn't get myself a new set of jeans tro even tho I needed it badly despite having the money.
All the money I made last year 90% when into paying bills and household expenses.
It so crazy how you has a man you will have over 200k in your acc and you be scared to even buy yourself something of 10k cos of fear of the unknown.
In all of this my wife and kids still has many clothes they haven't worn I paid for you.

Last weekend my wife bought herself over 10 new shirt and when I saw it I reminded her how I couldn't even buy myself new jean....she told me nah me no wan buy nah.
It really hurt me cos whatever money I make the family expenses come first before my own personal needs but it isn't same for women.

I just feel marriage is design for men to suffer honestly.
People just taking from you and no one really care about what you need.

If not for my two sons, I would had walked out of my marriage before now.
African version of marriage is a huge economic burden to men. Women are leeches for the most part.

welcome to the world of responsible men... but I like that you now know that you are priority 1 to yourself

Bobodee09:

Is so bad that has a married man you can't even buy yourself new wears.

Throughout last year I couldn't get myself a new set of jeans tro even tho I needed it badly despite having the money.
All the money I made last year 90% when into paying bills and household expenses.
It so crazy how you has a man you will have over 200k in your acc and you be scared to even buy yourself something of 10k cos of fear of the unknown.
In all of this my wife and kids still has many clothes they haven't worn I paid for you.

Last weekend my wife bought herself over 10 new shirt and when I saw it I reminded her how I couldn't even buy myself new jean....she told me nah me no wan buy nah.
It really hurt me cos whatever money I make the family expenses come first before my own personal needs but it isn't same for women.

I just feel marriage is design for men to suffer honestly.
People just taking from you and no one really care about what you need.

Nice2023:




U have given ur life to Jesus.

Hahahahha.

Jesus that turned water to wine. A beg drink ur stuff in moderation and enjoy life while on earth.

My brother am doing that tonight cos I really need not to add any BP wahala things.

Those people in general after checking my BP insisted I see the doctor but I knew what caused it so I just scope them an ran away.

Once I see the doctor I will.be placed on drugs for life and I reject that for my generation.

GloriousGbola:


the truth is we all have a limit we are not going to go below

because we know what comes with it

there is a reason one left some things behind because of the stress that comes with them

poverty is also a problem that can put you in a never ending cycle

yesterday i changed the tires of madams car. the week before the battery

some silly child will say manage it

thats when the car will break down at in oshodi and you find yourself facing a a whole new set of problems from area boy to local govt task force to lastma.

don't package yourself properly when meeting client and they will lowball you. same way you will size up an artisan and decide how much to pay him, na so client go also size you up.

and the cheapness of some accommodation also comes with the lack of security

I agree with this perspective. Well said, bro. The cost of poverty is too high, and what is life without hope? Many people try to rebuild, believing that things will eventually get better, and that’s what keeps them going.

Living within one’s means is important, no doubt, but then the depression from living off loans can sometimes be less than the deep despair that comes with extreme poverty. At the end of the day, we all have a personal threshold we won’t cross because we know the stress and problems that come with going below that line.

Acidosis:



I agree with this perspective. Well said, bro. The cost of poverty is too high, and what is life without hope? Many people try to rebuild, believing that things will eventually get better, and that’s what keeps them going.

Living within one’s means is important, no doubt, but then the depression from living off loans can sometimes be less than the deep despair that comes with extreme poverty. At the end of the day, we all have a personal threshold we won’t cross because we know the stress and problems that come with going below that line.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boots_theory

The Sam Vimes "Boots" theory of socioeconomic unfairness, often called simply the boots theory, is an economic theory that people in poverty have to buy cheap and subpar products that need to be replaced repeatedly, proving more expensive in the long run than more expensive items. The term was coined by English fantasy writer Sir Terry Pratchett in his 1993 Discworld novel Men at Arms. In the novel, Sam Vimes, the captain of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, illustrates the concept with the example of boots.

pocohantas:


I am worried about his health. He complains himself that it is mentally draining. Last year we had a situation and if I weren't an emotionally strong person, it reach to have high bp. But the second he was fit, he continued from where he stopped. We would agree A, he would do B. If he slumps now, world people would say he was hustling to give his fair wife. Whereas I have talked and fought. I just pray God touches his heart this year.

Since it involves his health, I believe if he hears it from more people in his cycle, it might sink in more. What do you think? But honestly, you’re handling the matter well. Many don't see this as a problem so long as there is a steady cash flow. A lot of us have the mindset that we’re not working hard enough unless we’re physically and mentally drained.

osuofia2:

The bolded is so funny. But for real men go through a lot. After all the sacrifice the children still regards their mothers than their fathers. Mothers get gifts while fathers get hot gin...

y brother you are very right
it's quite unfortunate

Akalia:
If not for my two sons, I would had walked out of my marriage before now.
African version of marriage is a huge economic burden to men. Women are leeches for the most part.

I love my wife just that her selfish tendency sometimes hurt me.

I just feel it the way most of them were brought up, they just feel you are supposed to provide everything.

For instance this morning the bread she bought for 1500 each 2022 we buy it for 700. Jandol bread to be precise.
Despite weight of have been reduced it goes for 1500. She bought two with every other thing more than 5k dan waka.

It really very hard....let just keep doing for our kids.

juwoonn:
You're very correct brother 💯
My neighbor's wife has been on his neck for the past two years now to have the third child. The man is still standing his ground that the two they have is enough. Funny enough, they don't have as much money as they used to have. She is doing this to compete with her friends who have 3kids aready. I don't understand how the woman dey reason.

Bobodee09:
This advise goes especially to married men and men in general.

Don't put yourself under unnecessary pressure or take up loans to maintain a certain lifestyle.

I just lost an area senior bros this morning, the news didn't come as shock cos he has been in the hospital for a while and his BP refused to come down.

He is man in his late 40's married with 4 kids. This man was under alot of pressure to meet end means, he took up too many loans just to maintain his living standards to please his family.

The last time I visited him in general I also checked my BP and it was very high, I was also under pressure myself to meet target.
When I got home I promised myself I wont die young to please anyone.
I will do my best and leave the rest cos at the end no one really care all they want to do is take from you as a man.

Married men enjoy yourself, take care of yourself, buy what you want. You can't be working everyday and be suffering to please your wife and kids.

The men who die young are the ones who always labour and don't take care of themselves, you see men who only provide what they have and take care of themselves they live longer.

We are in this mess together trust me....those people you think are doing better have alot of loans on their neck. So don't let anyone push you by comparing you to them.

If what you provide isnt enough or appreciated tell your wife to also provide or take her leave.

The problem is not the pressure,the major challenge is not taking antihypertensives.

Your BP was also high..Did you seek medical attention?
Are you on antihypertensives and are you regular on medications?

Nigerian men caused it by themselves... They deserve to die one after the other

Bobodee09:


He was a well to do man . He had those kids when things were good.

We could ever imagine things will go this bad 10yrs ago.

You came blame anyone who got married 2010 who has 3-4kids. Things was good then

he is never well to do, he was doing financially well. But he didn't plan well, no matter how an average financial person is, 4 kids is too much. An average man don't need more than 1 to 2 kids.

Bobodee09:

Is so bad that has a married man you can't even buy yourself new wears.

Throughout last year I couldn't get myself a new set of jeans tro even tho I needed it badly despite having the money.
All the money I made last year 90% when into paying bills and household expenses.
It so crazy how you has a man you will have over 200k in your acc and you be scared to even buy yourself something of 10k cos of fear of the unknown.
In all of this my wife and kids still has many clothes they haven't worn I paid for you.

Last weekend my wife bought herself over 10 new shirt and when I saw it I reminded her how I couldn't even buy myself new jean....she told me nah me no wan buy nah.
It really hurt me cos whatever money I make the family expenses come first before my own personal needs but it isn't same for women.

I just feel marriage is design for men to suffer honestly.
People just taking from you and no one really care about what you need.

Not abroad.

Gerrard59:

I have nothing against anyone who has four or one hundred children provided they don't complain about it. There has never been a great time in Nigeria's economic history to have four children. So those with four children plus should continue and leave Nigeria and the government out of it.

I ire your patience in not calling out these internet millionaires whose post history does not match the income and assets they claim to have

Bros you just painted a real picture of what I went through in 2024.
This year 2025, I will take care of myself first.

Bobodee09:

Is so bad that has a married man you can't even buy yourself new wears.

Throughout last year I couldn't get myself a new set of jeans tro even tho I needed it badly despite having the money.
All the money I made last year 90% when into paying bills and household expenses.
It so crazy how you has a man you will have over 200k in your acc and you be scared to even buy yourself something of 10k cos of fear of the unknown.
In all of this my wife and kids still has many clothes they haven't worn I paid for you.

Last weekend my wife bought herself over 10 new shirt and when I saw it I reminded her how I couldn't even buy myself new jean....she told me nah me no wan buy nah.
It really hurt me cos whatever money I make the family expenses come first before my own personal needs but it isn't same for women.

I just feel marriage is design for men to suffer honestly.
People just taking from you and no one really care about what you need.

Pascal9:
he is never well to do, he was doing financially well. But he didn't plan well, no matter how an average financial person is, 4 kids is too much. An average man don't need more than 1 to 2 kids.

See we always forget life happens people make huge lost sometimes in life that is hard to bounce back.

You don't know him, so I how what I meant by he was well to do.


He is a businessman who was just so unfortunate with some business deal.

This was a man who could conveniently dash relatives 1million some years back.

carzeem1:
,
🚫 Don't get your wife pregnant if bank no gallant or your system no fit turn up on short notice. Unless na stress and pressure go finish you.

🚫 Marry into wealth, don't Marry a woman out of pity or beauty, your eye go clear when life hits.

🚫 Space your kids, no be your sperm potent , learn withdrawal and protection before or after sex

Boss how many years minimum do you recommend?

OlawaleBammie:
After getting the two kids and undergone vasectomy, u now realise that those two kids belongs to ur wife ex...lol

Sebi u no wan get sense ni, I will be happy to see you ing.est 3 bottles of sniper

Ode. DNA test should be done immediately a kid is born. How much is dna test. Not even up to 150k.

kernniejay:

That statement alone from your wife is enough to make you think twice about your self. This year, I have decided to be a little more selfish in taking care of my personal needs and make myself happy. If I die today, life continues.

I think the wife is only telling him to use his senses! Nigerian men tend to over do this "provider status" as if dem be Elon Musk! We have Hero complex. Unfortunately Heroes usually don't last!

Thomthom:
Them no call Children for here. Na mature people OP dey refer to.

How? One or two children would be much better for most families in Nigeria.

Godwin4444:
is it real that people truly give their first salary to church?
Like seriously I have heard it a couple times but don't believe it's real

The day my wife tells me that is the day she will start taking care of herself n start feeding herself or better still she should b collecting money from those pastors

bro ,the thing real o....no jokes at all. Na one of those things we experience here o. Na to dey preserve remain ,make God dey bless our hustle