NewStats: 3,264,196 , 8,182,933 topics. Date: Tuesday, 10 June 2025 at 06:59 AM 645619

4

I can totally relate, man. I went through something similar a while back, and it’s tough to move on when you’re stuck in that cycle of trying to forget but only feeling the pain more. Honestly, what helped me the most was focusing on rebuilding myself—taking up hobbies, even just getting out for walks or getting into something new, really made a difference. I also found talking to a counselor helped me see things from a different angle and gave me some space to heal. It’s a long process, but things do get better, even if it doesn’t seem like it now. One day at a time, bro.

Kdon2:


Find someone else bro. It's not that difficult. Leave the funk alone!

JustPowerApps:
The solution is to have another babe to fill in for her whenever she is away. This way you won't have to worry much about her. The reality will dawn on her when she is away for months and you are going about your usual activities unbothered.

Don't let her philandering affect you. HERS IS NOT A COMPLICATED CASE, she will come around eventually and stay in one place.

Women should take note and be careful out there.

Odafe360:
I posted a previous topic about my divorce with my wife and i got alot of advice on this platform which really encouraged & have me strength.

I'm really grateful for the nairaland community. The only issue i'm still battling with right now is how to move on, i'm trying everyday to forget the past, but the more i try, the more it's becoming fresh in my heart and the pains too. I won't lie to you it's difficult. Sincerely sometimes i cry and the thoughts of ending my life comes and goes. I don't drink, I don't smoke, neither do i womannize and worst of all i don't have much friends cos I'm more of an introvert.

A snippet of the entire problem is that most times we have an issue and she leaves the house, i've always been the one going to speak to her mum, plead and bring them back home, that's why whenever there's problem and she goes back to her mom's place, nobody from her family would me to even hear my side because I've become like a fool to them cos they know i'll still come. This last one that she left, we just had a little issue and she packed a her things and left. So many people not to go to her family house and beg this time around since i didn't send them packing. I swear guys, i've forgiven and tolerated what 90% of men won't forgive nor tolerate from her.

Please guys help a brother with more advice, how do i move on?

For me I resigned my job, gained ission abroad started school. It is difficult to heal, but school activities and uncomfortable life abroad made me heal.

This advice of schooling abroad came from professional therapist and it worked.
Don't resign if you've not gotten your travel documents, you can take study leave too

Odafe360:
I posted a previous topic about my divorce with my wife and i got alot of advice on this platform which really encouraged & have me strength.

I'm really grateful for the nairaland community. The only issue i'm still battling with right now is how to move on, i'm trying everyday to forget the past, but the more i try, the more it's becoming fresh in my heart and the pains too. I won't lie to you it's difficult. Sincerely sometimes i cry and the thoughts of ending my life comes and goes. I don't drink, I don't smoke, neither do i womannize and worst of all i don't have much friends cos I'm more of an introvert.

A snippet of the entire problem is that most times we have an issue and she leaves the house, i've always been the one going to speak to her mum, plead and bring them back home, that's why whenever there's problem and she goes back to her mom's place, nobody from her family would me to even hear my side because I've become like a fool to them cos they know i'll still come. This last one that she left, we just had a little issue and she packed a her things and left. So many people not to go to her family house and beg this time around since i didn't send them packing. I swear guys, i've forgiven and tolerated what 90% of men won't forgive nor tolerate from her.

Please guys help a brother with more advice, how do i move on?

Swallow red pills early you say no, that's the consequences.

Simping has no benefit, trust me. When you are no longer a man, a woman won't need you. Swallow the red pill and face reality.

Odafe360:
I posted a previous topic about my divorce with my wife and i got alot of advice on this platform which really encouraged & have me strength.

I'm really grateful for the nairaland community. The only issue i'm still battling with right now is how to move on, i'm trying everyday to forget the past, but the more i try, the more it's becoming fresh in my heart and the pains too. I won't lie to you it's difficult. Sincerely sometimes i cry and the thoughts of ending my life comes and goes. I don't drink, I don't smoke, neither do i womannize and worst of all i don't have much friends cos I'm more of an introvert.

A snippet of the entire problem is that most times we have an issue and she leaves the house, i've always been the one going to speak to her mum, plead and bring them back home, that's why whenever there's problem and she goes back to her mom's place, nobody from her family would me to even hear my side because I've become like a fool to them cos they know i'll still come. This last one that she left, we just had a little issue and she packed a her things and left. So many people not to go to her family house and beg this time around since i didn't send them packing. I swear guys, i've forgiven and tolerated what 90% of men won't forgive nor tolerate from her.

Please guys help a brother with more advice, how do i move on?

my brother congratulations. This is the time to replan your life. This is the time to date and select from the best women you have seen this please don't even commit to one woman for now until you see what you want. I would have given you more details on how to survive send me your details.

Odafe360:
I posted a previous topic about my divorce with my wife and i got alot of advice on this platform which really encouraged & have me strength.

I'm really grateful for the nairaland community. The only issue i'm still battling with right now is how to move on, i'm trying everyday to forget the past, but the more i try, the more it's becoming fresh in my heart and the pains too. I won't lie to you it's difficult. Sincerely sometimes i cry and the thoughts of ending my life comes and goes. I don't drink, I don't smoke, neither do i womannize and worst of all i don't have much friends cos I'm more of an introvert.

A snippet of the entire problem is that most times we have an issue and she leaves the house, i've always been the one going to speak to her mum, plead and bring them back home, that's why whenever there's problem and she goes back to her mom's place, nobody from her family would me to even hear my side because I've become like a fool to them cos they know i'll still come. This last one that she left, we just had a little issue and she packed a her things and left. So many people not to go to her family house and beg this time around since i didn't send them packing. I swear guys, i've forgiven and tolerated what 90% of men won't forgive nor tolerate from her.

Please guys help a brother with more advice, how do i move on?

You need to start doing some activity that will get you busy and engaged e.g. gym, sports, some academic or professional course or pursuit etc.
Focus on improving yourself and with time you will be stronger and better. Don't rush into a serious relationship for now but you can acquiant yourself with some new friends of the opposite sex just to take your mind off her. Going to the gym really works as it has a way of reducing the stress .

Odafe360:
I posted a previous topic about my divorce with my wife and i got alot of advice on this platform which really encouraged & have me strength.

I'm really grateful for the nairaland community. The only issue i'm still battling with right now is how to move on, i'm trying everyday to forget the past, but the more i try, the more it's becoming fresh in my heart and the pains too. I won't lie to you it's difficult. Sincerely sometimes i cry and the thoughts of ending my life comes and goes. I don't drink, I don't smoke, neither do i womannize and worst of all i don't have much friends cos I'm more of an introvert.

A snippet of the entire problem is that most times we have an issue and she leaves the house, i've always been the one going to speak to her mum, plead and bring them back home, that's why whenever there's problem and she goes back to her mom's place, nobody from her family would me to even hear my side because I've become like a fool to them cos they know i'll still come. This last one that she left, we just had a little issue and she packed a her things and left. So many people not to go to her family house and beg this time around since i didn't send them packing. I swear guys, i've forgiven and tolerated what 90% of men won't forgive nor tolerate from her.

Please guys help a brother with more advice, how do i move on?

First of all, which state do u reside ?

Why do you love a disrespectful woman

Why are you missing her, is it because of sex?

What has your people and her people said since she left

Do you have kids?

Though as a Christian, divorce is not allowed but this one you explain is not a wife

Except there's something you are not saying

Odafe360:
I posted a previous topic about my divorce with my wife and i got alot of advice on this platform which really encouraged & have me strength.

I'm really grateful for the nairaland community. The only issue i'm still battling with right now is how to move on, i'm trying everyday to forget the past, but the more i try, the more it's becoming fresh in my heart and the pains too. I won't lie to you it's difficult. Sincerely sometimes i cry and the thoughts of ending my life comes and goes. I don't drink, I don't smoke, neither do i womannize and worst of all i don't have much friends cos I'm more of an introvert.

A snippet of the entire problem is that most times we have an issue and she leaves the house, i've always been the one going to speak to her mum, plead and bring them back home, that's why whenever there's problem and she goes back to her mom's place, nobody from her family would me to even hear my side because I've become like a fool to them cos they know i'll still come. This last one that she left, we just had a little issue and she packed a her things and left. So many people not to go to her family house and beg this time around since i didn't send them packing. I swear guys, i've forgiven and tolerated what 90% of men won't forgive nor tolerate from her.

Please guys help a brother with more advice, how do i move on?

Sorry bro.
You don’t have any fault. But the issue is, the society hates a weakling, even in the animal kingdom. That’s why weak animals find it difficult to survive.
You have made a terrible mistake in the past ( if a woman packs never go after her to beg her) you didn’t send her packing, did you? And the only way you will allow her come back is when her people follow her to beg. Sorry once again. Don’t be nice. Be WISE. The world (especially women)hates nice people.

In this world, nice people suffer.

Bro here forgave a woman who told him his first born isn't his and finds it difficult to move on after divorcing the woman that showed him hell.

Have you tried the route of Jesus?This is His speciality.He said "come unto me all ye that labour and are HEAVY LADEN and I will give you rest".

Odafe360:
I posted a previous topic about my divorce with my wife and i got alot of advice on this platform which really encouraged & have me strength.

I'm really grateful for the nairaland community. The only issue i'm still battling with right now is how to move on, i'm trying everyday to forget the past, but the more i try, the more it's becoming fresh in my heart and the pains too. I won't lie to you it's difficult. Sincerely sometimes i cry and the thoughts of ending my life comes and goes. I don't drink, I don't smoke, neither do i womannize and worst of all i don't have much friends cos I'm more of an introvert.

A snippet of the entire problem is that most times we have an issue and she leaves the house, i've always been the one going to speak to her mum, plead and bring them back home, that's why whenever there's problem and she goes back to her mom's place, nobody from her family would me to even hear my side because I've become like a fool to them cos they know i'll still come. This last one that she left, we just had a little issue and she packed a her things and left. So many people not to go to her family house and beg this time around since i didn't send them packing. I swear guys, i've forgiven and tolerated what 90% of men won't forgive nor tolerate from her.

Please guys help a brother with more advice, how do i move on?

thoughts of ending my life comes and goes. I don't drink, I don't smoke, neither do i womannize and worst of all i don't have much friends cos I'm more of an introvert.

With all this you mentioned above, I fear who no fear you

Odafe360:
you think I'm broke? Lolss... You're pathetic

Pls ignore some of these senseless comments. They just want to provoke u the more and cause u to react angrily. Be calm.

Odafe360:
I posted a previous topic about my divorce with my wife and i got alot of advice on this platform which really encouraged & have me strength.

I'm really grateful for the nairaland community. The only issue i'm still battling with right now is how to move on, i'm trying everyday to forget the past, but the more i try, the more it's becoming fresh in my heart and the pains too. I won't lie to you it's difficult. Sincerely sometimes i cry and the thoughts of ending my life comes and goes. I don't drink, I don't smoke, neither do i womannize and worst of all i don't have much friends cos I'm more of an introvert.

A snippet of the entire problem is that most times we have an issue and she leaves the house, i've always been the one going to speak to her mum, plead and bring them back home, that's why whenever there's problem and she goes back to her mom's place, nobody from her family would me to even hear my side because I've become like a fool to them cos they know i'll still come. This last one that she left, we just had a little issue and she packed a her things and left. So many people not to go to her family house and beg this time around since i didn't send them packing. I swear guys, i've forgiven and tolerated what 90% of men won't forgive nor tolerate from her.

Please guys help a brother with more advice, how do i move on?

https://nairaland.macsoftware.info/8304016/lagos-man-celebrates-divorce-wife. Brotherhood dey vex with u walahi.

Odafe360:
Yeah, I'm thinking of travelling.... Thabks alot brother!!!

Traveling won't solve the problem

You're simply a mumu man, nothing more or less! Number one rule, your life is very valuable don't ever ever think of ending it! Rule number 2, move away from your surroundings where nobodyknows you or her, clubs, something that gives your life new meaning. For 9ja as long as you have money, ladies will naturally gravitate towards you so DATE & SMASH as many as possible while being SAFE!

Finally, there's no drug for getting over a woman/divorce as powerful as a younger, sexier and caring woman that blows your mind away......Soon you'll be smiling from head to toes at the sight or thought of your newfound love, NO DULLING!

No advice can prepare you for this new journey you found yourself....even though you feel it's the end of the world, hang in there, with time you will be ok...

Odafe360:
I posted a previous topic about my divorce with my wife and i got alot of advice on this platform which really encouraged & have me strength.

I'm really grateful for the nairaland community. The only issue i'm still battling with right now is how to move on, i'm trying everyday to forget the past, but the more i try, the more it's becoming fresh in my heart and the pains too. I won't lie to you it's difficult. Sincerely sometimes i cry and the thoughts of ending my life comes and goes. I don't drink, I don't smoke, neither do i womannize and worst of all i don't have much friends cos I'm more of an introvert.

A snippet of the entire problem is that most times we have an issue and she leaves the house, i've always been the one going to speak to her mum, plead and bring them back home, that's why whenever there's problem and she goes back to her mom's place, nobody from her family would me to even hear my side because I've become like a fool to them cos they know i'll still come. This last one that she left, we just had a little issue and she packed a her things and left. So many people not to go to her family house and beg this time around since i didn't send them packing. I swear guys, i've forgiven and tolerated what 90% of men won't forgive nor tolerate from her.

Please guys help a brother with more advice, how do i move on?

Divorce, break up, seperation, moving after the death of one partner is one hell of topic, I've experienced the last one and truth be told, man, isn't a funny experience and I wouldn't wish that to happen to my worst enemy, anyway, it's four years now and I moving on with the bits of my life.

Your nature did a number on you, man.

I'm not gonna lie on that one and I didn't stumble upon the first thread, would like to know if children are involved and if you don't want to talk about that aspect, I'd gladly respect your decision.

Odafe360:
you think I'm broke? Lolss... You're pathetic

When it comes to relationship/marriage, time heals it all, just do things that makes you happy; with time, you will get better.

I won't advice you to get another woman now (though you need someone) because you are not in the right frame of mind, you may treat her badly because of the experience you had in the past.

Odafe360:
I posted a previous topic about my divorce with my wife and i got alot of advice on this platform which really encouraged & have me strength.

I'm really grateful for the nairaland community. The only issue i'm still battling with right now is how to move on, i'm trying everyday to forget the past, but the more i try, the more it's becoming fresh in my heart and the pains too. I won't lie to you it's difficult. Sincerely sometimes i cry and the thoughts of ending my life comes and goes. I don't drink, I don't smoke, neither do i womannize and worst of all i don't have much friends cos I'm more of an introvert.

A snippet of the entire problem is that most times we have an issue and she leaves the house, i've always been the one going to speak to her mum, plead and bring them back home, that's why whenever there's problem and she goes back to her mom's place, nobody from her family would me to even hear my side because I've become like a fool to them cos they know i'll still come. This last one that she left, we just had a little issue and she packed a her things and left. So many people not to go to her family house and beg this time around since i didn't send them packing. I swear guys, i've forgiven and tolerated what 90% of men won't forgive nor tolerate from her.

Please guys help a brother with more advice, how do i move on?

You are just a weak man... Shouldn't have considered marriage in the first instance...

Your wife saw a loophole and use your weak point against you...

Now u are still acting ... Instead of man up and make abstrupt decisions yourself...

We can't give you advice .. that's why u re an adult..

coputa:
Traveling won't solve the problem

Exactly.

Odafe360:
I posted a previous topic about my divorce with my wife and i got alot of advice on this platform which really encouraged & have me strength.

I'm really grateful for the nairaland community. The only issue i'm still battling with right now is how to move on, i'm trying everyday to forget the past, but the more i try, the more it's becoming fresh in my heart and the pains too. I won't lie to you it's difficult. Sincerely sometimes i cry and the thoughts of ending my life comes and goes. I don't drink, I don't smoke, neither do i womannize and worst of all i don't have much friends cos I'm more of an introvert.

A snippet of the entire problem is that most times we have an issue and she leaves the house, i've always been the one going to speak to her mum, plead and bring them back home, that's why whenever there's problem and she goes back to her mom's place, nobody from her family would me to even hear my side because I've become like a fool to them cos they know i'll still come. This last one that she left, we just had a little issue and she packed a her things and left. So many people not to go to her family house and beg this time around since i didn't send them packing. I swear guys, i've forgiven and tolerated what 90% of men won't forgive nor tolerate from her.

Please guys help a brother with more advice, how do i move on?

Give yourself a break. Come back with vigor. Commit yourself to your job and ion. Stop being soft, NOBODY gives a shii about you! NOBODY owes you ANYTHING!!
She will start posting quotes of how happy she is and maybe pics of her new bae. Remove her from your update. Give yourself 6 months. Be intentional, stop posting sob story like this…the jungle is tough. You need to get yourself up and start moving.

Tallesty1:
Moving on is never easy, especially if you truly loved the person. People will tell you to stay busy or jump into another relationship, and while those things might help, they rarely talk about how to handle seeing her in everything you do. This was your wife—someone you shared every moment with.

I’ve never been married, but I’ve been deeply in love. When things started going south, I had to sit myself down and weigh the good against the bad. The bad was overwhelming so after a phone call one evening, I took the phone away from my ear and said to myself, “God, this is the last time I’ll call this number.” And that was it.

How did I move on? First, I uninstalled WhatsApp, quit Facebook, and used the time I’d normally spend on social media to learn a new skill. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

So, here’s my advice:

Decide that this is what you want and that it’s for the best.

Remind yourself that you deserve better because you’re a good person.

When you start missing her, all the times you wished she wasn’t there.


Lastly, read books. I recommend:

The Manipulated Man

The Rational Male:

Positive Masculinity

Preventive Medicine

And most importantly, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck*.


Start with the last one—it’ll help you see how unhealthy and toxic that relationship was, teach you to prioritize what truly matters, and guide you through what you’re feeling.

Cheers to a happier and brighter tomorrow.

Heartbreak is such a good thing.

It gave Adele 3 solid albums (or more) and it gave you a new skill.

Cheers to more heartbreaks. 🥂🍻

Am sure that before going through a divorce you would have thought of the after effects of such an action, therefore, if you like do whatever you like with yourself all i care. My advice, move on with your life.

samguru:


I asked if the lady comes from one of the states in the South South,and the next thing you could do is to use that your sinful fingers to insult me because I doubt if your brain was involved in this response.

Well, I have forgiven you.

No disrespect, some ladies from South South states especially Delta and Edo that are married to other tribes are not tolerant in marriage.

I have a list of over 20 men that had this experience with Delta and Edo ladies and they eventually broke up.
I am not saying all ladies from this region are bad but some of them are notorious for bad behaviors in marriage.

@allback don't comment on my post again.

Thanks for this, it's not a matter of being tribalistic, to corroborate what you said, I have an elder bro and friend who married to women from Edo State, they didn't last. In fact my brother and her ex-wife divorced after just 5 years of marriage. So your assertion may be right, just maybe some of the women from that side are not tolerant. My friend and bro are cool guys, I'm very close to them and I know them for real.

Bro, this is not that difficult, trust me!

Since you're on leave, it's an ample opportunity for you to upskill, get a side gig, or get a companion you're comfortable around.

Just get busy....with time, you will get over her.

to remove everything and anything that reminds you of her.... like pictures, ... anything! Delete her number from your phone, if possible, block her.

Of course you will still need to unblock her when the time is right but this is to help you get her off your mind!

Do this for 3 months and you'll be glad you did!

Odafe360:
I posted a previous topic about my divorce with my wife and i got alot of advice on this platform which really encouraged & have me strength.

I'm really grateful for the nairaland community. The only issue i'm still battling with right now is how to move on, i'm trying everyday to forget the past, but the more i try, the more it's becoming fresh in my heart and the pains too. I won't lie to you it's difficult. Sincerely sometimes i cry and the thoughts of ending my life comes and goes. I don't drink, I don't smoke, neither do i womannize and worst of all i don't have much friends cos I'm more of an introvert.

A snippet of the entire problem is that most times we have an issue and she leaves the house, i've always been the one going to speak to her mum, plead and bring them back home, that's why whenever there's problem and she goes back to her mom's place, nobody from her family would me to even hear my side because I've become like a fool to them cos they know i'll still come. This last one that she left, we just had a little issue and she packed a her things and left. So many people not to go to her family house and beg this time around since i didn't send them packing. I swear guys, i've forgiven and tolerated what 90% of men won't forgive nor tolerate from her.

Please guys help a brother with more advice, how do i move on?

if wife pack comot, u self compt for ous for 2weeks go flex for hotel

Odafe360:
I posted a previous topic about my divorce with my wife and i got alot of advice on this platform which really encouraged & have me strength.

I'm really grateful for the nairaland community. The only issue i'm still battling with right now is how to move on, i'm trying everyday to forget the past, but the more i try, the more it's becoming fresh in my heart and the pains too. I won't lie to you it's difficult. Sincerely sometimes i cry and the thoughts of ending my life comes and goes. I don't drink, I don't smoke, neither do i womannize and worst of all i don't have much friends cos I'm more of an introvert.

A snippet of the entire problem is that most times we have an issue and she leaves the house, i've always been the one going to speak to her mum, plead and bring them back home, that's why whenever there's problem and she goes back to her mom's place, nobody from her family would me to even hear my side because I've become like a fool to them cos they know i'll still come. This last one that she left, we just had a little issue and she packed a her things and left. So many people not to go to her family house and beg this time around since i didn't send them packing. I swear guys, i've forgiven and tolerated what 90% of men won't forgive nor tolerate from her.

Please guys help a brother with more advice, how do i move on?

guy look for another woman, if she continues to come back she will be the death of u,
find another woman soon, Dem many wey dey find husband and even more beautiful

Odafe360:
you think I'm broke? Lolss... You're pathetic

The way the guy was so quick to label the woman a hoe!!! R the Nigerians on naira land crazy? The vile!!!! Gosh!!!

ShenTeh:


Sorry about the situation sir. I take it there are no children involved.

As the divorce as been finalised, please accept it. Or you can go back to beg her and continue your lifestyle as was. However, if you do not want to go back to that lifestyle. I'll recommend 3 things.

First, do a 3-day retreat. Stay indoors. Take plenty of water. Mourn the relationship - cry your worst if you will. Stay off your phone for as much as possible. On the last day, write out 7 clear and simple things you'd like to do. These may include eating out, washing your car, calling one particular XX sister of yours, visit a particular person, etc. make sure you write the to do list and mark them completed when they are.

2. Change your address if you can. Move elsewhere where little or nothing is known about you. We often underestimate the power of a changed environment.

3. Get busy with work, church/mosque/whatever religion activities, hobby, exercise/gym routine,etc. Be busy.

All the best.

3 day retreat ke. U wan kill am... some1 that u should be advising to go do 3some or 4some with 3 different girl

tommy589:
Are you leaving alone? Just wondering how you manage the sleepless nights.
You have made the right decision but it will take you awhile to get over it. The way I see it you won't succumb to her entrapment anymore. So if you know how to lure her for occasional sxx,it helps to ease and quickens the process of moving on

Bro this is wrong advise... It is difficult to move on bro, I understand, but you DO NOT want to be bleeping her at all if you want to move on...

Bro get someone to do your cleaning, cooking, preferable a woman, get accustom to having a woman in the house under your authority (treat her ok o, but you are the boss).
Moreover, enjoy this freedom, bleep all you can, use protection though... Bleep for like a year, you'll realize most women respect men who are not suck up to them.
Focus on your career and when you decide to try again, do not suck up, listen to their needs but do not suck up.