NewStats: 3,264,699 , 8,184,433 topics. Date: Thursday, 12 June 2025 at 05:42 AM 2o6y6i

Doesn't she want grandchildren ASAP


Do what's best for you dude. She will eventually align.

But don't

I repeat

Don't



DISRESPECT HER

Iriri aye!

Nkan nbe!

Obey your Mum!

Go and buy land build before the year ends!

Marry After!

Vikto17:
My mother is becoming something else honestly... l don't know if it selfishness or something else...

l will be 30yrs next year ,have a business that is paying me well , my fiancee is also doing well for herself .....

l realize that each time l raise issue regarding marriage. my mother keep on emphasizing on building house first and riding cars...l feel she is either not in touch with reality or she is afraid the help l am giving the family will stop once l get married...

In either way l am gradually smelling danger...my parents may disapproved my marriage because of their selfish reasons...

The thought of it annoys me honestly,, because l intend doing this marriage with or without their concept.. how do l start handling this issue? l intend getting married highest by 2026.please l need ur advice nairalanders..

Easy!
Give them your marriage time line
1. Month you are Bringing the girl to introduce them to your family
2. Time you want your people to follow you for introduction to your brides' family
3. Time you want to do traditional wedding and church wedding

Set the ball rolling and see if they wont follow you.

If you can, during this time, purchase a plot of land you can build your own house. QED

Them no dey give certificate for who first marry. Na you get your life, do with it what you want.

What about your dad? As a man if you're really ready to settle down as in you have the resources no one can stop you.
Its not her call but the male figures in your household that actually decide as these are the ones to escort you when you want to do introduction. Talk to them.

Your mother is being selfish. She is afraid of losing you to your fiance, seems like they don't get along well.

Your mother wants you to give her what she could not give herself before you can marry, and this is not right.

At 30, you are matured enough to take your own decision and be responsible for yourself.

I don't advise you mortgage your future and happiness because she wants to live in a mansion.

I had a similar experience several years ago when my parents ( mom in particular) wanted me to train my siblings (3 of them in primary school by then) up to secondary school before I could marry.

I rebelled and I don't have any regrets.

Just continue to her as necessary. She will learn to abide by your decision later on.

By the way, how about your dad? Is he in agreement with your mum that you suspend marriage to build a house ?

Vikto17:
My mother is becoming something else honestly... l don't know if it selfishness or something else...

l will be 30yrs next year ,have a business that is paying me well , my fiancee is also doing well for herself .....

l realize that each time l raise issue regarding marriage. my mother keep on emphasizing on building house first and riding cars...l feel she is either not in touch with reality or she is afraid the help l am giving the family will stop once l get married...

In either way l am gradually smelling danger...my parents may disapproved my marriage because of their selfish reasons...

The thought of it annoys me honestly,, because l intend doing this marriage with or without their concept.. how do l start handling this issue? l intend getting married highest by 2026.please l need ur advice nairalanders..

Your fear is legit, you have sensed the danger, she is just afraid to loose all the financial help to the family and your simblings, i want to believe you are the first born or the breadwinnner of the family. The best way to handle that issue is to systematically reduce the financial help you rendering and keep letting them realise that you dont intend to achieve everything before getting married. Also stop asking them for their opinion about when best to get married, just let them know you are getting married, this is the date i want the family to follow you to see the family of my wife, this is the date of introduction and so on. Dont do as if you need their approval. Above all, your mother has little or no say over your marriage plan, you are the one allowing her to hold you, talk to your dad or the father figure of your family and see things work fast.

Bashiii:


The only advantage in marriage for men is social value. Politically,you won't go far without a spouse.

Also,some contracts and connections will you by if you're not married. Other than these things i mentioned,there's absolutely no gain for a man in marriage.

🐂💩

Vikto17:
My mother is becoming something else honestly... l don't know if it selfishness or something else...

l will be 30yrs next year ,have a business that is paying me well , my fiancee is also doing well for herself .....

l realize that each time l raise issue regarding marriage. my mother keep on emphasizing on building house first and riding cars...l feel she is either not in touch with reality or she is afraid the help l am giving the family will stop once l get married...

In either way l am gradually smelling danger...my parents may disapproved my marriage because of their selfish reasons...

The thought of it annoys me honestly,, because l intend doing this marriage with or without their concept.. how do l start handling this issue? l intend getting married highest by 2026.please l need ur advice nairalanders..

You are a man... balance both ur family and ur relationship by learning to have a mind of ur own and work things out for the good of all parties. This will not only give ur parents more reason to trust ur ability as a man in handling future projects. Stop acting like mummy's boy cox this is where the problem is coming from

Vikto17:
My mother is becoming something else honestly... l don't know if it selfishness or something else...

l will be 30yrs next year ,have a business that is paying me well , my fiancee is also doing well for herself .....

l realize that each time l raise issue regarding marriage. my mother keep on emphasizing on building house first and riding cars...l feel she is either not in touch with reality or she is afraid the help l am giving the family will stop once l get married...

In either way l am gradually smelling danger...my parents may disapproved my marriage because of their selfish reasons...

The thought of it annoys me honestly,, because l intend doing this marriage with or without their concept.. how do l start handling this issue? l intend getting married highest by 2026.please l need ur advice nairalanders..

Bro to Bro

We are almost the in same category but I did my things without family palava but they want marriage when am not ready yet ….
Listen to your mom words carefully and Make sure you build a house for yourself even na selfcon before tying yourself with Kele because we are all human Once marriage come no more freedom for both couple except una wan see future drama …Focus on yourself Human come and Go ….As a man don’t marry who you love but marry who love you ✅

Are still living in your parents house

Nonexisting1:
I have some time and in a good mood so let me drop this. You are not 30 yet, why the rush? You have a business that is paying well now but you are not sure about tomorrow thanks to our useless government. This is your opportunity to do some things before bigger responsibilities like children school fees start coming your way and stop you from doing them. Before going into marriage, make sure you're a man first and the first step to becoming a man is to have a place of your own whether in the village or in the city where you hustle. If you don't have the means, I can understand. If you have the means which I suspect you do, build a house and get yourself a means of transport before getting married. Not when your wife is in labour now, you'll be running around to buy recharge card to call Okey the keke driver. Women always push unprepared men into marriage and when the responsibilities that come with it are not met, they blame the same men. Your mother may also sense that you're not ready and is deliberately trying to slow you down. Sit down and draw a list of things that are needed to be done first before marriage. If your girlfriend can't wait until they are done, she is not for you. You're welcome for the 'thank you'. Now let me go ahead and make my dick available to this girl, she has been waiting.

Hian, why did you post the picture of Ebanga54 , let me call Ebanga54 to get you arrested

It's quite a thing done mostly by our mother,

But they hardly realised that with new intake ( wife) to the family, a very strong bond is established....

The fear of sharing often becloud them to see the larger picture of their selfishness....

And what work for Mr A may not work for Mr B , if you have the grace to build house now go ahead and build it , but make sure you build a commercial house first and later build private one for yourself , but if no money to build hose then go ahead and marry at 32yrs in 2026,

My brother, anything you did not achieve now that you are young and money is coming in MIGHT be difficult to achieve once you are married unless you have a strong and bright destiny with that your wife.

You know why ?, it is because your responsibilities increases once you are married.

If I were you , I will follow my mother's advice. Build house , then you can marry later.

Vikto17:
My mother is becoming something else honestly... l don't know if it selfishness or something else...

l will be 30yrs next year ,have a business that is paying me well , my fiancee is also doing well for herself .....

l realize that each time l raise issue regarding marriage. my mother keep on emphasizing on building house first and riding cars...l feel she is either not in touch with reality or she is afraid the help l am giving the family will stop once l get married...

In either way l am gradually smelling danger...my parents may disapproved my marriage because of their selfish reasons...

The thought of it annoys me honestly,, because l intend doing this marriage with or without their concept.. how do l start handling this issue? l intend getting married highest by 2026.please l need ur advice nairalanders..

trium:
Bro don't let people scare you with marriage. Those who are building it, do you see them disparaging it That is life for you. Misery loves company amd those with the bad experiences make the most noise. It is like how bad news sells faster. If your business never did well, you too will blame the economy, blame Mr B and your village people. Such is life.

Don't listen to all the noise in the marriage. Those experiences are part of life and this is how you learn. Marriage will teach YOU how to build a family, build a home, manage your in-laws and your mother, raise kids and leave a legacy. Men who build start with the building blocks of their houses first. Don't let the failures stop you. Rich man wey do business no de stop because him business fail many times or because dem dupe am. Listen to advice from those who want you to grow and be better.


Marriage is what protects the structure of society.. You see some comments you read, it is one way you will know those who came from a dysfunctional family system. I am not judging anyone because not all marriages are perfect but a lot of adults you are seeing are adults in baby bodies who have yet to address their trauma. Their trauma is causing them pain and they don't want to look into the mirror. That's why the only advice I will give you before marriage is that you and her must know yourself first. Deal with the unexplained pain that happened in your childhood. Deal with the problems your mom and dad had and you think it is still yours to carry. Deal with the misconceptions you have been carrying, thinking it is normal for a man to do x or a woman to do z. Experiences make us more mature. Have a good experienced man to guide you. Don't take advice from us on the internet, these people don't care so much about your life. Have a mentor who is a man to help you navigate these issues.

Real men choose the house they want to build. And real men choose good women to make it a home. You see this thing you are going through? This is how men learn how to handle women. You will know how to handle your mom, sister, wife, her sister. You will become a political animal because women have their own games which you must learn. Men learn these things through experience. It is what makes them sharper and more decisive.
It is a ritual you must through but if you don't experience it, you will never know how to handle women. When they say 'na man you be', there is something deeper to it.

May God Almighty bless you...

The ever best institution that teaches maturity is Setting up of family and its manouvreability.....

You unintentionally become a political sage.....
But pls choose a rightly guided guardian to take a routine lesson of life as you move on...

After the marriage as I can see it, to mould two bags of cement go hard you uncle.

Ogeneigbo1:
My brother, anything you did not achieve now that you are young and money is coming in MIGHT be difficult to achieve once you are married unless you have a strong and bright destiny with that your wife.

You know why ?, it is because your responsibilities increases once you are married.

If I were you , I will follow my mother's advice. Build house , then you can marry later.

These yours Na blatant lie......

There is no limitations or hindrance of achieving anything over the time (of life) irrespective of any circumstances....

I did not say he won't achieve anything after marriage, read in between line and digest before rushing to reply.

mrkenny05:


These yours Na blatant lie......

There is no limitations or hindrance of achieving anything over the time (of life) irrespective of any circumstances....

At 30, you don't sound like you r mentally ready for marriage having read your replies and comments. And I think your mum knows also that you r not psychologically ready hence why she wanted you to achieve certain things before marriage. Go ahead and do what you want. But be sure your wife does not remote control you( I sensed this)

trium:
Bro don't let people scare you with marriage. Those who are building it, do you see them disparaging it That is life for you. Misery loves company amd those with the bad experiences make the most noise. It is like how bad news sells faster. If your business never did well, you too will blame the economy, blame Mr B and your village people. Such is life.

Don't listen to all the noise in the marriage. Those experiences are part of life and this is how you learn. Marriage will teach YOU how to build a family, build a home, manage your in-laws and your mother, raise kids and leave a legacy. Men who build start with the building blocks of their houses first. Don't let the failures stop you. Rich man wey do business no de stop because him business fail many times or because dem dupe am. Listen to advice from those who want you to grow and be better.


Marriage is what protects the structure of society.. You see some comments you read, it is one way you will know those who came from a dysfunctional family system. I am not judging anyone because not all marriages are perfect but a lot of adults you are seeing are adults in baby bodies who have yet to address their trauma. Their trauma is causing them pain and they don't want to look into the mirror. That's why the only advice I will give you before marriage is that you and her must know yourself first. Deal with the unexplained pain that happened in your childhood. Deal with the problems your mom and dad had and you think it is still yours to carry. Deal with the misconceptions you have been carrying, thinking it is normal for a man to do x or a woman to do z. Experiences make us more mature. Have a good experienced man to guide you. Don't take advice from us on the internet, these people don't care so much about your life. Have a mentor who is a man to help you navigate these issues.

Real men choose the house they want to build. And real men choose good women to make it a home. You see this thing you are going through? This is how men learn how to handle women. You will know how to handle your mom, sister, wife, her sister. You will become a political animal because women have their own games which you must learn. Men learn these things through experience. It is what makes them sharper and more decisive.
It is a ritual you must through but if you don't experience it, you will never know how to handle women. When they say 'na man you be', there is something deeper to it.

Hello Victor,

Why are you talking like a female or let me say it well, talking like a woman. Some naive family might push their sons into marriage but yours with what you have said aren't such.

Firstly, you are 29 yrs old, doing well and still I guess, still living with your parents.

I appeal to you Victor, listen to your parents. Sit them down and have a heart to heart talk with them and be patient to take their advise

Keep this in mind. Nobody loves you more than your parents. Nobody wants your success more than your parents. They are your God after the Almighty God.

Now, listen Victor. I really don't know how responsible your parents have been to you until you get to the level you are presently. Incase they were practically in charge of your upbringing, education etc.....till now. My brother, never ever disobey them.

They probably know something that you don't know.

Advise your parents are giving you is not for you to build the house and buy the house in their name but yours. They just desire you to be full man before adding distractions to your life.

Marriage is a distraction, having kids is a bigger distraction and definitely you might lose focus completely.

At 29, single and successful. You are the type of hot and eligible guy girls will be searching and praying to have in their life, and due to that Victor, you need to be very careful.

Sit together with your parents, don't be aggressive with them. Listen attentively and let them tell you what's behind that good advise given to you.

Atimes, we parents make mistakes in delivering a good advise to our kids. We do approach it wrongly and often, we approach it half way by handing down judgement without really saying what is behind that judgement.

However, your parents means well for you in all ramifications. There is a proverb that says if your eyes can be well focused, it would see your nose very well. Don't be too enthusiastic about marriage or even about women at this your young age.

Also, stop fretting over that phrase that you don't want to lose a good girl. Who is a good girl?

You are so naive and so innocent indeed and probably, that's one of the traits your parent sees in you for them to be against your getting married.

Men like you always give their lives to their wives after wedding. That's just by the way. You need to be careful. Don't be woman centric in thinking at this young age.

Please dialogue with Mum and Dad. Their advise is your com to a good life. Listen and obey them.

Take care Victor....

Vikto17:
it is annoying bro.. in some family once u start approaching 30 they will be the one gradually pushing u to get married...but this one it is one discouragement and the other...
if they attack my marriage plans l will make sure l send nothing to that house ever

Vikto17:
My mother is becoming something else honestly... l don't know if it selfishness or something else...

l will be 30yrs next year ,have a business that is paying me well , my fiancee is also doing well for herself .....

l realize that each time l raise issue regarding marriage. my mother keep on emphasizing on building house first and riding cars...l feel she is either not in touch with reality or she is afraid the help l am giving the family will stop once l get married...

In either way l am gradually smelling danger...my parents may disapproved my marriage because of their selfish reasons...

The thought of it annoys me honestly,, because l intend doing this marriage with or without their concept.. how do l start handling this issue? l intend getting married highest by 2026.please l need ur advice nairalanders..

she dey fear say d spending go stop

Bro building a house before marriage is not ideal unless you are excessively rich.building a house is not something you will finish in 3 to 4 years but you must rent a house before marriage.women are naturally selfish and I don't know the exact reason why your mum is delaying you.i will advise you to get married to a working class woman and not a liability as soon as you hit 30.while in marriage you can be building your own house gradually.i didn't build house before I marry because it is a Capital project.i started building my house when am already married and raising children.be wise

Nonexisting1:
People with wise parents oftentimes are foolish.

As in eh his mum has a good reason for saying that. She sees what her son never see

Vikto17:
My mother is becoming something else honestly... l don't know if it selfishness or something else...

l will be 30yrs next year ,have a business that is paying me well , my fiancee is also doing well for herself .....

l realize that each time l raise issue regarding marriage. my mother keep on emphasizing on building house first and riding cars...l feel she is either not in touch with reality or she is afraid the help l am giving the family will stop once l get married...

In either way l am gradually smelling danger...my parents may disapproved my marriage because of their selfish reasons...

The thought of it annoys me honestly,, because l intend doing this marriage with or without their concept.. how do l start handling this issue? l intend getting married highest by 2026.please l need ur advice nairalanders..

Your mum gave a very intelligent investment advise. The money you could have used to build a house or car, one self-centered lady and her parents that are privy to your income will think of bombarding you with list for bride price and products to bring especially those from Akwa Ibom, Imo and some others. If you build the house and buy the car it is in whose name, yours of course. You can sell both at any time at even an higher price. What your mum is telling you is that your business can go down at any time but if you have a house and a car you have collateral for restarting. She is seeing what you are not seeing

Better listen to her

Bro this your statement is very funny

I'm also in your shoes, similar circumstance i don't even know what to do, i pay the rent where i stay with my mum, brothers and sister and i have to move out. Who will pay the rent if i do? i have to marry and i'm 35. Most nights i sleep off thinking about it.

Vikto17:
it still doesn't justify anything.. l will still marry and start my own family bro...how do u think l should handle this,, if l lose this girl l won't be happy with them honestly...

You know your family better and you haven't given enough information. Where is your father? How old is the last born?

I went through your threads and I can see you are about training your younger brother in the university. That is the house your mum wants you to build. If that wasn't the case, I would have seen genuine concern in her advice.


I hope the woman you plan to marry can manage the resources you have or you. Because marrying a bread winner of most families is not easy. I can sense your mum won't like her. Goodluck to your future wife. She needs it more.

All these mothers that spent their lifetime cheating and scamming men are terrified of their sons getting married. Their fear of karma is real.

Vikto17:
it is annoying bro.. in some family once u start approaching 30 they will be the one gradually pushing u to get married...but this one it is one discouragement and the other...
if they attack my marriage plans l will make sure l send nothing to that house ever

joker. Thank God say no be u dey provide oxygen for them.