NewStats: 3,264,856 , 8,184,906 topics. Date: Thursday, 12 June 2025 at 03:24 PM 5i2t36

U are the only one who knows what u really want and what u think u may regret u may definitely regret.

Honestly, time will tell, I've been married for more than a decade and yet to have a child, I tried everything humanly but all to no avail, I still trust God, he'll answer me one day.
See it has not been easy, aside seeing my mates and people around me have children and I don't have, it's really getting to me that, I don't have anyone to talk to or send an errand, if I don't get it my husband will and at times I'll have to go far.
What I'm saying is, not only pressure from people will make you feel you don't have but, the boredom and not having yours to send on an errand at due time, because people will make you feel you don't have a child. Not trying to convince you, it's your choice, it is well with any decisions you choos.

Klass99:
When I first felt the desire to be child free and not have children I was in my 20s. Several people told me the feeling would change or I would change my mind as time goes by.

As the years went by my desire didn't wane neither did my mind change. The desire only grew stronger and my mind more convinced that motherhood is not for me.

I have no regrets so far and right now I honestly can't see myself regretting the choice. Home ownership and companionship with a good man, matter to me more than biological children do.

O di ale ki olumbrella to mo pe eru ni ohun ru

LordIsaac:

John 3:16. You have been told!

🙄

While in the desert, God sent snakes to kill the Israelites for complaining. And then God told Moses to lift a bronze snake proclaiming that those of the people of Israel— no mention of the foreigners who lived among them in the entire tale— bitten by the snakes(condemned to die) who would choose to look up at the bronze statue would be saved from death(condemnation of death), a sentence inflicted on them by God Himself.

4 The Israelites left Mount Hor and traveled on the road that goes to the Red Sea. They did this to go around the country of Edom. But the people became impatient.
5 They began complaining against God and Moses. The people said, “Why did you bring us out of Egypt? We will die here in the desert! There is no bread and no water! And we hate this terrible food!”
6 So the Lord sent poisonous snakes among the people. The snakes bit the people, and many of the Israelites died.
7 The people came to Moses and said, “We know that we sinned when we spoke against the Lord and against you. Pray to the Lord. Ask him to take away these snakes.” So Moses prayed for them.
8 The Lord said to Moses, “Make a bronze snake and put it on a pole. If anyone is bitten by a snake, that person should look at the bronze snake on the pole. Then that person will not die.”
9 So Moses made a bronze snake and put it on a pole. Then when a snake bit anyone, that person looked at the bronze snake on the pole and lived. - Numbers 21 vs 4 - 9

Moses lifted the bronze snake, and those who looked at it lived.

Jesus Christ told you in His Gospel that in much the same way that Moses lifted the snake in the desert for the people of Israel so also He too would be raised as a beacon for those among them — the people of Israel — who wished to live after they had been condemned to die by God of Israel - Deuteronomy 28.

14 “Moses lifted up the snake in the desert. It is the same with the Son of Man. He must be lifted too.
15 Then everyone who believes in him can have eternal life.”
16 Yes, God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son so that everyone who believes in him would not be lost but have eternal life.
17 God sent his Son into the world. He did not send him to judge the world guilty but to save the world through him. - John 3 vs 14-16

God is responsible for condemning the Israelites to perish in the grave — lost. And He, God then also sent Jesus Christ to save the same people... Israel... after condemning them to die. Same as He did with the serpent back in the desert.

So, in essence, The World that Jesus Christ was sent to is the same world that consists of those condemned of Israel aka the Lost sheep of Israel. Just as Jesus Christ made clear in Matthew 15 vs 21 - 28.

Bullfallo:
Not wanting to have a child isn’t a choice per say. I hate to put myself into pressure or do things just because others are doing it, my lifestyle has always be different from public opinion. In fact opposite of the popular views or majority behavior. I don’t send or give a Bleep what anyone think about me.

Example is that people live there live on public opinion. They create a life of public presentations just to please public and get validated but i am not of public views. I do my things the way it pleases before considering public.

If I have billions of dollars like dangote the choice might have been different. I don’t live a life of faith. I must have concrate evidence of things or resources before i made any vita decisions. I hate to borrow or beg. I live a life of comfort. I am rich and comfortable but not for many mouths. Because I don’t want to adjust resources from my lifestyle

you are buffalo indeed

Truth be told children are not yours and dont belong to you. All you are doing is helping a soul to re-enter back into 3D and nurture it and release it . These souls have had many mummy’s and daddy’s in previous lives before you and so you are not special. There is also the element of what soul has the universe ed through you ? Is it a demon soul or an angel soul ? Some have had their grim reapers through their loins and at the appointed time the soul is activated to take your life, children killing parents etc etc. I say all that to say if you can open up your third eye ? And you see things spiritually, you can never regret not having some strange soul through you.but as a rule I say just have only one just for the curiosity factor

Bullfallo:
Not wanting to have a child isn’t a choice per say. I hate to put myself into pressure or do things just because others are doing it, my lifestyle has always be different from public opinion. In fact opposite of the popular views or majority behavior. I don’t send or give a Bleep what anyone think about me.

Example is that people live there live on public opinion. They create a life of public presentations just to please public and get validated but i am not of public views. I do my things the way it pleases before considering public.

If I have billions of dollars like dangote the choice might have been different. I don’t live a life of faith. I must have concrate evidence of things or resources before i made any vita decisions. I hate to borrow or beg. I live a life of comfort. I am rich and comfortable but not for many mouths. Because I don’t want to adjust resources from my lifestyle

You see conditional love, that's what you get from every corner you turn in life. Except the one from family, when you grow old and you suddenly realise that no figures of such affectionate love, you'll marvel. Father, mother and kids are the people who mostly gives these but by then when you're all alone, it'll dawn on you

Your reasons are selfish...your parents wasn't a billionaire before they decided to bring u into this world...running away from responsibility is the height of cowardice...getting married and rising kids is what makes u a real man except u want to become a rev fr ...I feel so happy just looking at my 5 kids and lemme the truth I started making real Money when children started coming because I had to double my hustle so as to be able to take care of my responsibilities and still enjoy my life...today am richer than when I was alone ...moreover my wife is doing business and she contribute to some extent...

Your life, your choice

@ Op ...a child will grow up to father the father.
Think about this words when you are sick,old, and helpless

CoronaVirusPro:
The future will educate you better. I don’t think anyone can educate you about that.

If you really want to have a glimpse of what it looks like, check all those class of people that said same in their youthful ages, reality humbled them in their old age and started having kids at the dying hour.

Reality will “Personally” dawn on you. How you accept it, will determine your mental state and response.

Just be patient. 20 years from now will tell a lot.

Kingpele:
Your reasons are selfish...your parents wasn't a billionaire before they decided to bring u into this world...running away from responsibility is the height of cowardice...getting married and rising kids is what makes u a real man except u want to become a rev fr ...I feel so happy just looking at my 5 kids and lemme the truth I started making real Money when children started coming because I had to double my hustle so as to be able to take care of my responsibilities and still enjoy my life...today am richer than when I was alone ...moreover my wife is doing business and she contribute to some extent...

YelloweWest:
You will totally regret it. There's absolutely nothing as rewarding than having a child.

At some point your wealth will become meaningless.

tochez24:



Fact my brother💯

It will dawn on him at old age, he will see shege😆😆

https://nairaland.macsoftware.info/3943960/dark-side-parenthood

Klass99:


My sympathies for what you are going through but I can not relate because unlike you I don't desire or want to have children but you do. I pray the good Lord grants you your heart's desire.

Your reasons for wanting a child/children leaves me perplexed and again I can not relate because there are too many good people on earth I can interact with, too many novels to read, movies to watch, exercises to do and activities to engage in, for me to bored from the absence of a child.

I also can not relate to wanting a child so I can send them on errands. I genuinely like doing things by myself and for myself it is how I stay active and avoid being lazy.

Time will tell indeed and guess what time has told me? That I was right to become self aware, enough to know that I don't want kids, independent minded and critical in my thinking to know that I don't have to follow the crowd and do what others are doing, if it is not what I want.

Perhaps you are that partner I am yet to meet.
I feel the same.

https://nairaland.macsoftware.info/3943960/dark-side-parenthood

Klass99:
When I first felt the desire to be child free and not have children I was in my 20s. Several people told me the feeling would change or I would change my mind as time goes by.

As the years went by my desire didn't wane neither did my mind change. The desire only grew stronger and my mind more convinced that motherhood is not for me.

I have no regrets so far and right now I honestly can't see myself regretting the choice. Home ownership and companionship with a good man, matter to me more than biological children do.

What if the said good man leaves you at old age? he owe you nothing.

Have you ever been close to old people before? Old age and sickness that is accomplices with it is not a child play at all. At this stage, only your biological children cares, they may not be with you physically but they will be there with you emotionally.

You need to visit some old people before it too late to change your decision.

Joemavel:

You see conditional love, that's what you get from every corner you turn in life. Except the one from family, when you grow old and you suddenly realise that no figures of such affectionate love, you'll marvel. Father, mother and kids are the people who mostly gives these but by then when you're all alone, it'll dawn on you

Its like you have not jammed families out there. There can be a lot of hatred even within a family.

yemmit90:


What if the said good man leaves you at old age? he owe you nothing.

Have you ever been close to old people before? Old age and sickness that is accomplices with it is not a child play at all. At this stage, only your biological children cares, they may not be with you physically but they will be there with you emotionally.

You need to visit some old people before it too late to change your decision.

All of these are still shallow and self-centered reasons to have children.
You guys have it so twisted someone up there even argued that she would have no one to send on errands without children.
How pathetic!

Villa12:
There are many men and women that had kids but living a life as if they do not have kids, even at old age. Their children are poor, likewise their parents. They literally live from hand to mouth courtsey with the of well-wishers. Society only address them with the name of their child/ren but there's no positive impact of these children in their lives. This abound in Nigeria today.

Who should we blame for this?

If you train your children, they will give you peace at old age. You can't give birth like rabbit, fail to train them and expect the same children to amount to anything for you in future.

If u live long u go regret ur decision, if u did not live long, u no go regret ham

Kingpele:
Your reasons are selfish...your parents wasn't a billionaire before they decided to bring u into this world...running away from responsibility is the height of cowardice...getting married and rising kids is what makes u a real man except u want to become a rev fr ...I feel so happy just looking at my 5 kids and lemme the truth I started making real Money when children started coming because I had to double my hustle so as to be able to take care of my responsibilities and still enjoy my life...today am richer than when I was alone ...moreover my wife is doing business and she contribute to some extent...

Selfishness towards who? The children that do not yet exist?

These type of statements are the things that. Put unnecessary pressure on women that are yet to give birth. Having kids should be a choice and not everyone wants to do so.

You are happy just looking at your kids, great I am happy for you. However, we should understand that that’s not what would make others happy. Our desires differs.

OpulentP:
If u live long u go regret ur decision, if u did not live long, u no go regret ham

This guy, I can just picture you as a grey bearded adviser to a traditional ruler.
Practical words, I must say.

Nonetheless, I am one of those who has chosen not to have any.

willyblinx:



Selfishness towards who? The children that do not yet exist?

These type of statements are the things that. Put unnecessary pressure on women that are yet to give birth. Having kids should be a choice and not everyone wants to do so.

You are happy just looking at your kids, great I am happy for you. However, we should understand that that’s not what would make others happy. Our desires differs.

Gbam!

How I wish one of your parent think like you are doing now..

Coward and selfish...ideeot

Klass99:
When I first felt the desire to be child free and not have children I was in my 20s. Several people told me the feeling would change or I would change my mind as time goes by.

As the years went by my desire didn't wane neither did my mind change. The desire only grew stronger and my mind more convinced that motherhood is not for me.

I have no regrets so far and right now I honestly can't see myself regretting the choice. Home ownership and companionship with a good man, matter to me more than biological children do.

Anty kontinu, even Oprah Winfrey regretted it at some point despite being a dollar billionaire at that time.


Make una continue.


Go to old people or war veterans homes and facilities in the US, UK, and Europe that you black Africans are trying to copy, even as they have all their needs met, sometimes those old people go mental and start acting weird that they want to go home to go and see their children or grandkids. A friend once told me of how one old white lady in their facility is always crying that she miss her kids and grandkids, that she wants to go home to be with them.

Make una continue, time will teach us all the hard lessons about life

DeepSight:


All of these are still shallow and self-centered reasons to have children.
You guys have it so twisted someone up there even argued that she would have no one to send on errands without children.
How pathetic!

Like someone said, only the future can teach you a lifetime lesson, no amount of explanation or recommendation can change a mind of someone like you. It is ok not to want children but everything wrong when you talk down on its importance. Ideally, you are calling your parents fools or self- centred for aiding your existence. It is quite logical not to have children if you can't cater for them but don't ever dismiss the important of having them.

yemmit90:


Like someone said, only the future can teach you a lifetime lesson, no amount of explanation or recommendation can change a mind of someone like you. It is ok not to want children but everything wrong when you talk down on its importance. Ideally, you are calling your parents fools or self- centred for aiding your existence. It is quite logical not to have children if you can't cater for them but don't ever dismiss the important of having them.

My dear brother, I have never dismissed the importance or significance of kids. What I called pathetic was the reason given by someone on this thread (she said who will she send on errands). That is pathetic.

Please have a peep at this thread to see my thoughts on this matter.

https://nairaland.macsoftware.info/3943960/dark-side-parenthood

Many of you here respond as if it is ALL of the children given birth to today that have been useful. Some of them have caused more aches and pain that have lead to early death of their parents. Some have blown the little wealth accumulated by the parent.

There are those who had kids and lost them due to accidents, should they take their life or become useless because they no longer have kids at their old age?

I hope none of you are raising kids with the hope of them caring for your expenses at old age. This is something you should plan for today such that you’d never become dependent on them. As such if you don’t have kids you plan was never based on kids assistance.

You've hit the head on the nail or is it the reverse?
Time is his best teach....make him dey play.

CoronaVirusPro:
The future will educate you better. I don’t think anyone can educate you about that.

If you really want to have a glimpse of what it looks like, check all those class of people that said same in their youthful ages, reality humbled them in their old age and started having kids at the dying hour.

Reality will “Personally” dawn on you. How you accept it, will determine your mental state and response.

Just be patient. 20 years from now will tell a lot.

Bennycollins:
That is your opinion and the OP said he doesn't live by what others think , say or believe. I even wonder why he is asking advice from same public. 😃😃

Like you said, it is my opinion.
At no point in my comment did I insist op must abide by it.
It is even my philosophy in life that one shouldn't live life based on others' opinions.
I only gave my input because he or she asked for it.
And again, like you said, it is a wonder that one who doesn't live by what others think should be asking for public opinion about his or her life choices.

DeepSight:


My dear brother, I have never dismissed the importance or significance of kids. What I called pathetic was the reason given by someone on this thread (she said who will she send on errands). That is pathetic.

Please have a peep at this thread to see my thoughts on this matter.

https://nairaland.macsoftware.info/3943960/dark-side-parenthood

Alright, perfectly understood sir.

humilitypays:
Anty kontinu, even Oprah Winfrey regretted it at some point despite being a dollar billionaire at that time.


Make una continue.


Go to old people or war veterans homes and facilities in the US, UK, and Europe that you black Africans are trying to copy, even as they have all their needs met, sometimes those old people go mental and start acting weird that they want to go home to go and see their children or grandkids. A friend once told me of how one old white lady in their facility is always crying that she miss her kids and grandkids, that she wants to go home to be with them.

Make una continue, time will teach us all the hard lessons about life

Did your friend tell you how many other older ones did not cry saying things like that?

If at old age his desire changes. He would still be the one to experience or suffer it. Not everyone would change their desires or suffer it. There are still some that had kids and still suffer like they had none at old age.

Av got more than that 2 think about