NewStats: 3,263,936 , 8,181,953 topics. Date: Sunday, 08 June 2025 at 08:30 PM 4v4v2e

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

what makes you think he isn’t taking the kids?

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

You will be alright las las no fear

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

The day you women will understand that there is only one captain in a ship, that is the day divorce will stop. kindly leave with it.

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

Your Kpekus is about to get a whole lot of firing

Divorce is not best for the children, effect of broken home is very bad for the kids, well take heart

Skyehigher1:
what is the courses of your divorce so we need to advise you into to before your marriage finally collapse if you tell the roots of the courses even if you heed the advice you can settle everything amicably and your home will be sweet forever because the full meaning of marriage is manage each other

court case can be suspend indefinitely so everything will be alright ok

FERNANDEZISBACK:

Someone is seeking advice and you are bringing your Jesus...this is physical and needs physical solution..Jesus have no business here..

You need Jesus in all things.

In strength , comfort , love etc

It is even in your weakness that you gain the best experience.

I don't know her but i can pray in Jesus Name and she will carry on and achieve what human wisdom cannot give

Jesus is everything and wants to be your all

None of those things you mentioned matters.

All that matters is your peace and mental health.

I'm meant to have filed for mine a year now but just been stalling.

Been separated over 2 years and totally over it now.

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

Don't be bothered about what the world thinks about you. If there's anything you need to do, try not to keep the kids away from their father unless he doesn't want to be in their lives. This is a time for you to look inwards. Find love with yourself. I mean really do self love. Appreciate your space. Do what makes you happy. The kids will be all over you, not having a father figure around can be too much work on you for some time. However, you will pull through.

FERNANDEZISBACK:

What shame?what mockery huh..?
Are you trying to please brainless persons or what?
Let them talk live your life..you are bothering yourself unnecessarily..
** am a single mum of **** so I see no big deal there..

Now coming to solution are the kids gonna be in your custody or his?look life as a divorced woman is quite strenuous..from stereotype to being alone to your mental health to the daft society who are always gonna criticize you..

Just get hold of yourself and wave it off..as a divorced woman I bet you gonna be more self confident.. productive and enjoy your life more..follow your ion and take care of yourself properly.. welcome to the club of unlimited merriment..

How will she shine her congo?

Coping with kids alone? Your ex husband has to o, the kids are not yours only, they are his too! It won't be easy but God will see you through!!!!



The children suffer most when the parents divorce.

[This simply shows the type of person you are! Your family are not aware, you ran on the internet to make show of it.

My sister, the day you stop paying much attention on the internet, that's when you'il be fine. I can see you're addicted to the internet. Am being blunt because divorce is never a good omen.quote author=Optimistic4life post=109178130]Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

[/quote]

OP, this is your Goldmine. Take all hook and sinker!!! Am out. Enough word for the wise.

davidadenrele:
Hello,
First of all i salute your courage for been able to come out and ask for advice, been a divorcee can be challenging for a woman in typical Nigerian society however i see you forging ahead since you are not afraid, you will have to work very hard let be honest having a kid is not that easy not to talk of 3kids, may I asked you did you request for child in court while you filing for divorce through your lawyer because you will need child from your kids father, it's either it's paid in weekly or monthly and its has to be something substaining for you and your kids.

Secondly you have to either work twice or get a business that will help you finance your kids financial burden without you being a burden to your friends and family at this moment Nigeria economy is not smiling at all, it's not easy out there trust me people will give assurance not worry that they will you it's all a lie no one cares everybody is struggling to survive now in Nigeria. aside yahoo plus boys and ritualist, and politicians.

You will have to sit down a make a plan on how you intend to provide for your kids every month, your house rent, feeding, school fees, extra school needs, what kids of now are days can't do without like bobo, biscuits, sweets and stuffs. Let me be honest with you it's not going to be easy I know of a divorcee with kids it's not an easy task, but with God on your side you will be fine at the end. You will need you will need assistance and you will your immediate family around you if it's only you it would have been better having to take care of kids in Nigeria of today is like climbing Mount Everest because of their excessive demands, they keep calling Mummy we want this we want that!! You have to be firm with your kids, at the same don't be too rigid and don't be too gentle when applying discipline where necessary at the same time montior them they could embrassed you if your not careful cos when they go hungry they could expose you unintentionally to your next neighbour cos at that moment what they cared about is there belly as its possible if you don't arrived from work in time for them to go and into your next neighbour house will not be a thing of shame to them afterall they have friends as next neighbour. Restrict them from collecting things from strangers, monitor them very well to avoid sexual pedophiles who could take advantage of no father figure in their lives. Provide quality to ensure they do their home work and take their studies seriously.

On a final note be you a Christian or Muslim ensure they observed prayers and good home moral training it's well with you.

jamesversion:


I can be there for you sexually if you are beautiful. And occasionally help financially. If you're interested.

Mummy GO said you shall go to
hell fire.

Another story to gain traffic, you gerrit.

Pray to God again

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

You never talk wetin you do madam
What led to such situation

jamesversion:


I can be there for you sexually if you are beautiful. And occasionally help financially. If you're interested.

lol ... bad guy !!

FERNANDEZISBACK:

What shame?what mockery huh..?
Are you trying to please brainless persons or what?
Let them talk live your life..you are bothering yourself unnecessarily..
** am a single mum of **** so I see no big deal there..

Now coming to solution are the kids gonna be in your custody or his?look life as a divorced woman is quite strenuous..from stereotype to being alone to your mental health to the daft society who are always gonna criticize you..

Just get hold of yourself and wave it off..as a divorced woman I bet you gonna be more self confident.. productive and enjoy your life more..follow your ion and take care of yourself properly.. welcome to the club of unlimited merriment..

You are so right
This is not a pity parry thing o
So so right

Tejumola856:
Waiting for elders

Omg! FTC. I have make it in life all thanks to nairaland redpill and Alpha male
This is my first FTC since I’ve ed nairaland,

I don’t know what to say again I’m crying rn

the person that own this nairaland is human being like you. Work hard and think outside the box.

ednut1:
Nothing fun there in nigeria. To find love again will be hard, when konji hold you na small boys around you go dey nack in secret . Men and woman abeg let your marriage work

This is so myopic...

Many couples who have been "happily" married for donkey years knack steadily outside their homes.

Matter of fact, I know married women and men who have been getting sexual qualifications outside their homes for many years while maintaining the hypocritical happy married appearance before gullible society.

HacheNoire:
You will be fine!

Trust me!

But your kids growing up without a fatherly figure, will forever have a psychological impact on them.

The brunt of divorce is bared by the kids. You and their father will be fine.

An underrated comment

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

AM MORE INTERESTED IN THE WHY....WHY DID HE SERVE YOU A DIVORCE PAPERS??
MAYBE OTHER LADIES CAN LEARN FROM IT. THANKS

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

How old are you?
Have u both discussed about the kids, who cares/takes custody of them, financial plan about their education.
Hope you are employed?
My advise still have an open mind though it might settle, did u guys see a counsellor and what was the basis of the divorce here. I wont want to blame anybody cos each person has reasons for his/her actions. So until both parties are heard blames cant be placed. Did he lose his job, did he cheat and was caught, did you also cheat, did u lose respect for him along the way, did he become physically violent towards you. Was he a drunk or chronic womanizer. My advise look good, focus on your job and you both decide how the children can be better if he is someone who has sense and be open to a new relationship if you decide and let the new guy know u have kids or you can choose to stay without a partner some women do cos of their children...put on a smile..there is nothing to be shameful about things happen..if e easy make dem do am.

OmegaAutos:


How will she shine her congo?

You boys ehnn..una just want make I talk..

Trustedpronet:


Marry a divorcee with 3kids...who wan pay their school fees. E no easy o.

The ex-husband is obligated by law to continue to provide financial for the children. He can be in a hot soup if he refuses to.

NaWa4Lyf:
[s]someone has generated 261 cloned moniker of your name today.
he will use it to defame, bring down the useless image you think you have on this Forum, beg men for sex, use it for lesbianism activities, use it to insult and abuse people and also use it to scam and defraud nairalanders and all these will implicate you.
he said he you should report to the mods 261 times.
you go report tire las Las this forum go taya you and you'll run away from it.
since you needed attention, get ready to face it.
you don buy market.
Sha I can still talk to the guy to let go of you if only you fulfill my condition[/s]

DWJOBScom:


You are so right
This is not a pity parry thing o
So so right

HacheNoire:
You will be fine!

Trust me!

But your kids growing up without a fatherly figure, will forever have a psychological impact on them.

The brunt of divorce is bared by the kids. You and their father will be fine.

She will be fine? What kind of mind typed this? How will a person be fine while their offspring are forever affected by the burnt of divorce?

Tell her the truth if you truly care about her. But you don’t care about her. All you care about is making yourself feel better by thinking you rendered help to someone meanwhile you just lied to them.

Optimistic4life:

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

First, never look at yourself as a "divorced lady". That's what the society wants you to believe. Rather see yourself as a focused lady, a purposeful woman.
Nobody has the right to shame you. Know your worth. Ensure to pray the court to enforce payment of alimony. He must pay for the children upkeep and their education. Take advantage of the court to mandate him to live up to his responsibility.